Second Chances
by AliseAndrews
Summary: Emily Gilmore gets a new life and Richard, Lorelai, and Rory realize they never knew what they had. This may seem weird at first, but give it a chance. I'd love to know what you think!
1. The Beginning

Disclaimer: This is an original story based upon the characters of Gilmore Girls. No profit will be made from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Note: This story is something different that I have never attempted before and I hope I can pull it off with out it being too cliché. I am going to give you readers some say here. If the story isn't working, let me know and I'll do something different. Give me a couple of chapters to see how it is working out. This first one might seem a little confusing. It starts in the spring of this year. Nothing spoilerish—trust me. Thank you all for the reviews that you have left me on stories in the past. They are always helpful and mean a lot to me. I hope you enjoy this next story.

_The old man was far away from home. He was not used to the cold and he was certainly not used to the rain. As he walked out to the car, holding his cat over his head, he said to himself for the fortieth time that day, "I'm getting too old for this." He was going to be seventy on his next birthday. Most men his age were drinking something cold somewhere warm. He closed his eyes and tried to think of sitting on a cruise ship, sipping a pina colada with a tiny umbrella sticking out of the cup. _

_As he came to his sleek black rental car, reality kicked in and he hurried into the car, and started the heater. He would be going home to California tomorrow, and then he would tell his boss, Joe, that this was his last business trip. The sooner he was out of Connecticut the better. He started the car, and the CD player made a little clicking sound as it started up again. He sighed as he listened to her voice. This was his most prized possession—the CD his beautiful Marjorie had made him for his sixtieth birthday, five years before she died. _

"_Happy Birthday Daddy," the voice said, "I love you forever," and then the angel voice came on and began to sing all of his classic favorites. _

_Marjorie's mother had died when Marjorie was twelve years old. He had been devastated by her death, but had carried on as father and mother to his girl. It was three weeks before Marjorie's forty-third birthday when the dreaded words, "family history," finally had come to haunt them—the dreaded cancer had returned to claim his baby girl. She hadn't lasted a year. _

_Suddenly he found himself brushing away tears as he continued to drive—he had to keep focused on the road. The rain was coming harder now and he couldn't see very well. _

_A few miles away a mother and daughter were driving through the storm. The daughter was slouching in her seat and flipping the radio stations, and the mother as usual was criticizing. _

"_Why can't you just choose one?" the mother cried. _

_The daughter chuckled and settled on a station that caused the mother to slap her on the shoulder. _

"_For Heaven's sake not that one!" she yelled through the din. Careful to keep her eyes on the road, she reached down and pushed the seek button until she found a station that was playing Vivaldi's Spring. _

"_Mother!" the daughter whined. _

"_My car, my music," the mother said smiling. _

"_Thanks for coming and picking me up," the daughter said. "It's a long walk from Boston to Stars Hollow. I can't believe that transmission is dead again!" _

"_My pleasure," the mother said, secretly delighting in the fact that Luke and Rory couldn't get away to come to get her daughter. She had called her mother for help! _

_They drove along in silence, not talking—talking was not their thing. The relationship between them had been so fragile lately, but it was growing stronger and the mother didn't want to do anything to jeopardize it—anything at all. _

"_The storm is getting worse Mom," her daughter said. "Maybe I should drive," _

"_Do I seem completely incompetent to you?" she asked. _

"_Yes you do Mother, pull over and let me drive," the daughter replied. _

"_I am perfectly capable of driving through a storm, leave me alone," the mother replied, taking the offensive. Her daughter didn't think she could do anything. _

"_Mom, this isn't some attack on you. Let me drive, I'm serious." _

"_So am I," the mother replied, "Sit up and be quiet," _

_And that was where the conversation ended—posture. _

_It happened so fast. They were driving over a bridge. She lost control of the car and her daughter was yelling at her, telling her what to do. Time seemed to stop as with a sickening thud the car crashed through the siding and headed over into the black churning water. With out hesitation, the mother yanked herself free from the confines of her seatbelt and threw herself over her daughter to shield her from the impact. _

_The next thing she knew she exploding out of the water, gasping for air. The black churning waters were pulling at her, extending their icy black fingers and threatening to pull her under to her death. She swam towards shore with all her might, she was freezing and every movement sent a roar of pain through her body. All she cared about was getting out of that water. She focused on the shore—almost there…almost there. Finally, she stood up and walked the few short steps and then collapsed on the ground, breathing heavily, coughing up what the river had forced down her lungs. She laid there for a few minutes, and then began to shake uncontrollably with cold. She had to find help, she had to get out of those clothes. She sat up and started to crawl to the road, when suddenly—as if a nightmare had taken human form and was strangling her, she remembered—her daughter was in that black churning river. _

_She plunged back into the water, screaming out her daughter's name over the roar of the river and the downpour of rain. She took a breath of air, and plunged down again into the churning water, frantically searching for her daughter. When her lungs could stand it no longer, she exploded back up to the surface, screaming her daughter's name over and over again. She felt herself growing colder and weaker and she knew she was loosing consciousness quickly. She plunged into the frigid water again, willing her eyes to stay open, searching for her daughter. She came back up to the surface and felt herself being pulled back under again. She was tired and she was cold—but her love for her daughter willed her to fight for consciousness. She searched around the shore, looking for any sign of her girl, crying out prayers to a God she had paid substantial donations to but had rarely communicated with. "If you want one of us," she screamed, "Take me!" _

_It was only a few moments later, that the vehicle that had caused this nightmare, sailed past and smacked the woman's head, making her fight against unconsciousness a futile one. She was not afraid when the blackness overtook her, only glad that her prayer had been answered and that somewhere in that black river of death, angels were saving her baby and she would be well. _

_The old man was afraid of the storm, several times he thought about pulling over and waiting it out, but he kept pushing onward. In all actuality, he had no fear of death, he was more afraid of life. Death was where Marjorie and Anna were. He had no wish for it to come sooner than God intended, but he had no reason to resist it when it was time. He drove past a river, and glanced down at the churning madness. He had never seen a storm like this. He was almost across the bridge when his headlights came across something—it was a person, lying on the shore. He pulled over to the side and hurried down towards the bank. It was a woman—her clothes torn and stained with mud, blood caked on her hair from a head wound. The man placed shaking fingers to her neck to feel her pulse—she was alive, barely. He took her head in his hands and looked at her—perhaps it was because he saw Marjorie's features in every woman's face, but there was something about this woman that reminded him so much of his little girl. _

_The woman moaned and coughed, "Lore…"she whispered, "Lore…"_

"_I'm going to take care of you," he said, taking off his suit coat and over her. He gently lifted her in his arms, smoothing the reddish brown hair out of her face and carried her to his car where he called 911. _

_A few miles down the road, one of the search and rescue men approached the daughter on the shore. She was wrapped in blankets, and was shaking from the cold and fear. The man told her that they had found the car washed up on the shore, and there was blood smeared on the top. Her mother was dead—they had not found the body, but there was no chance she could have survived. _

_The daughter started to scream—she couldn't stop screaming for two hours after that. _


	2. Laura

Disclaimer: This is an original story based upon the characters of Gilmore Girls. No profit will be made from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Note: Thanks to all who read and reviewed. I really hope this story works out okay. Thanks for your confidence! I hope you enjoy the next installment!

6 Months Later

Laura Baker stood in the checkout line at Safeway thumbing through the September issue of Better Homes and Gardens. She kept her eyes focused on the pages, but could feel the curious eyes of others around her staring at her. She wasn't sure if she would ever get used to that. It was getting better, when she had first come to the small town of Bentley California, where everybody knew everybody; she had felt like she was in a zoo.

"How ya doin today Laura?" the cashier asked as she started to ring up her items. Judy the cashier was an older woman who prided herself on knowing her customer's names—and anything else she could about them.

"Just fine Judy," Laura said smiling as she put down the magazine and watched the display screen count a running total of her grocery bill. Laura started to get nervous as the bill hit fifty dollars and she still had four or five items left to go.

"That'll be $54.50," Judy said as she put the last item in the bag.

"Can you take off the ice cream…and the wheat thins?" Laura asked and ignored the sighs of pity that were coming from the line behind her.

"Sure thing Sweetie, that'll be $51.49" Judy replied with a smile.

Laura handed Judy her fifty dollar bill and then dug down into her brown leather purse and brought up a handful of change. She had three quarters and the rest in pennies. Her cheeks burned as she counted the pennies out carefully and handed them to Judy.

"Thank you," she said as she took her sacks of groceries and headed out the door before anyone could approach her and ask her if she needed some money.

Once she was outside, she smiled and turned down the road to head for home. It was a beautiful day, and the sunshine and the smell of the big lilac bush in the Keller's yard made her forget about the embarrassing money incident. She took in a deep breath of lilacs and was certain they must be a connection to her past. The fragrance seemed to enter and diffuse the fog that was in her brain and for one moment her previous life was so close she could almost grab on to it—but she couldn't reach. She took one last breath of the fragrant flower than picked up her groceries and continued on the way home.

"Why don't you get a car?" John had asked on his last visit for dinner.

"I don't have money for a car," she had replied.

"Then I'll buy you…" he had started enthusiastically but she had cut him off.

"No John, you aren't buying me a car," she said as she cut him a slice of apple pie.

She chuckled as she thought of John's determined features melting away as he bit into her apple pie. She was so proud of that pie. It was the fourth attempt that day at making a pie, covering herself in flower and watching the apple pie sequence on the Martha Stewart video over and over again. If she ever did remember her father, she wondered if he would be something like John. He was the one who rescued her from her accident and brought her home to Bentley. He had helped her find a small house. He had been there for her during her recover, for the physical pain she had felt and for the emotional devastation she had been through that first month when she had come to grips with the fact that she could not remember anything prior to waking up and seeing John's face smiling over her, putting a wet cloth on her forehead. Her memories of those days were foggy as well; she didn't really have any solid memories until she arrived in Bentley. She had asked John to tell her of the details of her accident two months ago, hoping that it would provide a link to her past but he wouldn't. He told her she wasn't ready for it and that sometime in the future he would. He didn't know that much, he had said. He had simply found her and taken care of her. It was John who had given her the last name of Baker—his wife's maiden name, and he had called her Laura from the beginning. She had often wondered if that was a clue that he knew more about her past than he let on. Was Laura her real name? And if it was…how did he know it?

"Laura!" she heard John call as she neared her house. He got out of his car in the driveway and hurried over to her taking one of the bags of groceries.

"How are you?" he asked as they continued to walk to the house.

"Good—how about you?" she replied smiling.

"Fair—I have another board meeting in about a half hour, just dropped by on my way back to work to see if you needed anything"

"No, I'm fine, thank you for asking," she replied.

They walked up the porch to her house and John opened the door for her. They walked into the kitchen and she put the groceries down on the table.

"Are you coming for dinner on Sunday?" she asked. John nodded, "I'll be there," he said and then bent down and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "See you later," he said as he went out the door.

As John Hart drove out of the driveway and looked back towards the house, he switched on his favorite CD—the CD his daughter had made him for his sixtieth birthday, five years before she had died. As Marjorie's voice filled the car, he thought of Laura. She was a little older than Marjorie would have been today. He guess about five or six years older, but she had the same sparkle in her eyes that Marjorie had and it did his heart good to see that again. He had been worried about her those first few months, when it had been clear she had no memory whatsoever of her life before the accident. He had tried to be a moral support, his mind going back to when Anna and Marjorie had needed him during their sickness. No one had needed him like that since until Laura had come into his life. He told her when she called him crying that she would remember her previous life. "It would all come back to her someday," he would tell her over and over again. But when she had hung up, and he felt the feeling of being really needed for the first time in such a long time he secretly hoped she never would.

Laura unpacked her groceries and then went into the living room and sat down at her piano. She smoothed her hand over the sleek black top and then across the shiny black and white keys. The piano was another connection to her past. She had wandered into a piano store one day when she was out and had sat down at the piano they had on display for people to play on. It was as natural as walking to her, as natural as breathing. Her fingers connected to the keys and she had begun to play a Bach concerto. The people in the store, knowing full well who she was were staring at her in disbelief. A few months later, the community and the piano store, knowing she needed a way to support herself, had given her a piano to pay back over time when she was established as a piano teacher. It had meant so much to her, and had set out right away getting piano books and supplies, and making out flyers. She had no problem attracting students. Her celebrity status among the town had assured her students. At first it had bothered her, she didn't want to have students based on their or their parent's curiosity but she had accepted it over time and had determined to win over the students and their parents on the basis of her talent.

It had been a thrilling thing for her, the first time a parent had handed her two crisp twenty dollar bills and told her that she was doing a good job. She had taken it into her bedroom and propped it up against a jewelry box she had bought at the Salvation Army. She knew the forty dollars would be gone soon, but she sat back on her bed, drawing her knees to her chest and looked at the two bills delightedly. She laughed at herself as she realized how silly she was to be this proud over forty dollars. Had she never worked in her previous life?

The doorbell rang and she hurried over to answer it. It was Charlotte Sullivan, her first appointment of the day.

"Come in Dear," she said, motioning the little girl to come inside. "How are you today?" she asked.

Charlotte smiled and showed her two missing teeth.

"You lost some teeth didn't you?" Laura asked with surprise. "Did you swallow them?"

Charlotte giggled, and as she shook her head her black curls bounced. "No—they fell out and the tooth fairy took them away. She gave me two quarters!"

"She did!" Laura said with exaggerated amazement. Charlotte nodded delightedly. "Well, you are rich!" Laura said and put her hand on Charlotte's back and led her to the piano.

"Did you practice your scales?" Laura asked.

"Yes Mam," the little girl replied.

"Let's hear them."

Charlotte's face got very studious, and she leaned over the piano, careful to curve her fingers. She swallowed hard and then proceeded to play a C major, D major, and G major scale.

"Excellent!" Laura cried and the little girl beamed with pride. Laura reached over to the side of the piano to get her sheet of star stickers. "What color do you want?" she asked and the little girl pointed to the blue.

"Blue it is!" Laura said and took off three blue stars and put them next to Charlotte's name on her scale mastery chart. She was just about to tell Charlotte to open her books when suddenly her eyes rested on Charlotte's black hair. For some reason, just as the scent of lilacs brought her closer to her old life, the color black had as well. She thought it was very strange but now she suddenly realized—it was black hair. For some reason, this girl's black hair was stirring something in her. Almost unconsciously, she reached out and placed her hand on the back of Charlotte's head and began to caress the black curls.

"Are you alright Ms. Baker?" the girl asked.

Laura shook herself out of her trance and smiled, "I'm just fine Dear, why don't you open your book to page 8 and we'll see how you're doing.

Miles away, Richard Gilmore slowly parked his car up against the side of the road and walked up the hill to the grassy graveyard. In his hand he held a bunch of lilacs. He walked slowly—he had walked slower and slower since that night, and by the time he was up the hill he was breathing heavily. He walked among the tombstones until he had come to the family mausoleum. He walked inside, going past his parent's room, Aunt Cecile's room, Uncle Robert, Aunt Olivia, until he had come to the very end room. There was a large angel statue erected, over looking the ground where no body lay—she didn't even have a final resting place. There was simply the angel statue, with the words engraved in gold "Emily Gilmore—beloved wife of Richard, mother of Lorelai, grandmother of Rory." Secured at the bottom of the statue, was a family picture they had taken years ago—before the separation, before the disaster with Christopher and Luke, before Rory had hated them. He laid the lilacs down on the ground and then knelt down reverently, for this was the most sacred place in the world to him now.

"I scored a deal today as Lorelai would call it," he whispered, his voice carrying throughout the hall. "It's a good deal, should be a good asset to the company. I got invited to the Schaffer's cocktail party last week. I don't think I'm going to go." He paused for a minute and tried to keep a handle on his emotions. "I know you would say that I still need to keep up social appearances with the neighbor's but you know that you were the head of that department. You were brilliant at those things Emily, absolutely brilliant." He stopped again as the painful memory of his wife's face seared into him, the hurt he had caused when he had basically said that her life was frivolous and meaningless."

"I went out to lunch with Rory yesterday," he continued, trying to change to a lighter topic. "That girl is doing so well as the editor for the Yale news. You would be proud Emily." His voice suddenly became thick, "She said she was sorry Emily, really sorry for all the hurt and anger. She started to cry and just kept sobbing. I didn't know what else to do except hold her Emily. She just kept saying over and over again that she was sorry." Suddenly he could hold it in no longer and his large shoulders began to shake and he started to sob. "She feels guilty Emily. She thinks you died believing that things would never be right between the two of you again. I don't know how to help her. Emmy…we have a daughter that has to go to counseling every week and can't pull herself together because she feels guilty that she was the one that lived. I can't do anything for her. She breaks down and sobs whenever she's around me. What am I supposed to do? I can't do it Emmy. I can't do it without you." His sobs racked his body and he doubled over letting out his anguish on the cold stone floor.


	3. Getting Help

Disclaimer: This is an original story based upon the characters of Gilmore Girls. No profit will be made from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Note: Happy Valentine's Day! Happy new episode day! Thank you for all who read and reviewed the last chapter. I really appreciate it! I am getting really excited about this story, and as along as I have fresh ideas for new chapters and time, I'll be updating quickly. There were some of you who mentioned that you didn't like the fact that the other central characters weren't a main part of the last chapter, so the idea for the next three chapters came to me today. They will be a little different, as you'll see but I hope you like them!

"Where were we?" he asked, the sound of his pencil scratching on the pad.

"My fourth birthday," she answered, twisting her fingers.

"You remember your fourth birthday?"

"No,"

"Then why are we talking about it?"

"Because I don't want to talk about anything I can remember."

He stopped writing and looked up at her, "You still don't trust me do you?"

"Not really,"

"Why?"

"Nothing personal, I just have never trusted psychiatrists or counselors or whatever you people call yourselves."

"Why not?"

"Because you're creepy,"

"Creepy?"

"Yes," she replied in an agitated voice, "You always just sit there and get me to talk about things that I don't want to talk about and then I walk out of here I have five bottles of psycho pills, and am hearing voices say "If you build it he will come!"

The only sound in the room after that was more pencil scratching.

"Lorelai…" Dr. Beckner said after a few minutes, "You've been meeting with me for four months now. Have you ever walked out of here with pills other than ones to help you sleep or have you ever walked out of here bearing a resemblance to Kevin Costner?"

"No,"

"Then what makes you think you will now?"

"I don't know!" Lorelai cried. "Why do you ask so many questions?"

"Lorelai, what is so different about today? Why are you having a harder time talking?"

"I don't want to do this anymore,"

"Why?"

"Because I don't! Stop asking me why! Stop shrinking me!" she yelled and grabbed her purse.

"Lorelai…I want to help you,"

"I don't want help," she said suddenly as she stopped at the door.

"Why?"

_Silence_

"Lorelai…why don't you want help?"

"I don't deserve it," she whispered.

"Why?"

"Don't ask me that anymore."

"Lorelai…why do you think you don't deserve help?

"I don't know."

"I think you do."

"Then you tell me."

"Lorelai…why don't you feel you deserve help?"

Lorelai's face crumpled and she brought up her fist and rubbed her eyes.

"My mommy died."

She stood at the door for about fifteen minutes and then turned and came back to the couch.

"Where were we?" Dr. Beckner said as he brought out his pencil and paper.

"At the vow renewal."

"Your parent's?"

"Yes."

"Your mother invited your ex-boyfriend to the renewal to specifically break up you and Luke?"

"Yes."

"Why do you think she did that?"

"She wanted me to be with Christopher. She always has."

"Why?"

"She wanted me to marry the father of my child, be a family."

"She didn't think you could be a family with Luke."

"She thought Luke was lower than she was. She didn't think he was good enough."

"When that happened at the vowel renewal—how did you feel?"

Lorelai stared at her feet and shrugged.

"Lorelai…how did it make you feel?"

"Angry."

"And…?"

"I was furious! How could she have embarrassed me like that? How could she have humiliated Luke like that?"

"Do you think that was her intention?"

"To embarrass me, break Luke and I up? Yes, that was the plan."

"Why?"

She slammed her hands down on the couch and looked at him, "Stop asking me that! For the love of God I don't know!"

_Silence_

"Lorelai…when you found out your mother had tried to break you up, how did you feel?"

"I was angry. I told her…I told her we were through."

"And that was when you stopped going to Friday Night Dinners?"

"I went back. I went back because I felt bad about saying those things about her in the article."

"What did you say about her?"

"I don't want to talk about that now."

"Why?"

"Because I said it when I was angry. I say stupid things when I'm angry."

"You didn't want things to be over between you and your mother did you."

"I thought I did"

"And when did you realize that you didn't?"

"When Dad called the day at the inn to tell me that she was missing."

"The day you talked to her on the plane?"

"Yes."

"When your father told you that your mother was missing, what did you feel?"

"I was scared."

"Why?"

"Because," she stopped and stared back down at her feet. "I never thought before what life would be like if she wasn't around."

"And she called you? She told you she was in a plane?"

"Yes."

"And what did you feel then?"

"My mother is a psycho."

Dr. Beckner chuckled slightly, "She was upset?"

"Yes."

"About your daughter leaving?"

"Yes. Rory didn't leave her a note when she left. I was angry at Rory because of that. I raised her better than that."

"What did you tell your mother?"

"You know what I said."

"Tell me again,"

"Why?" Lorelai replied with an obstinate glare. It didn't faze the doctor.

"What did you tell her?"

"She didn't loose me."

"Is that why you went back to Friday Night Dinner?"

"I went back because I didn't want Rory to loose her relationship with her grandparents."

"Is that all?"

"She was wrong to end it like that. I didn't ever want her to feel that way about her grandparents."

"Why?"

"Because I wanted her to have a good relationship with them. She always loved them. They always loved her."

"But you didn't have a good relationship with your parents."

"But that didn't mean my daughter couldn't have a good relationship with them!"

"But why did you care?"

"What?"

:"Why did you care if she had a good relationship with your parents?"

_Silence_

"Lorelai, when your mother tried to break up you and Luke, how did you feel?"

Again, Lorelai stared down at her feet. "She's never going to accept me for what I am."

"Do you need her to accept you for who you are?"

Lorelai's head snapped up, "She's dead! It doesn't matter anymore."

"Lorelai, do you need her to accept her for who you are?"

_Silence_

Lorelai brought her hand up to her eyes again and rubbed away the tears as she nodded.

"Why did you want your daughter to have a good relationship with your parents? Lorelai, was there a part of you that believed that Rory was their replacement daughter? Was there a part of you that wanted Rory to be their replacement daughter…their second chance because you thought you had failed them?"

Lorelai's blood drained from her face. "I've never told anybody that," she whispered.

"Lorelai…why did you go back to Friday night dinner?"

_Silence_

"Because I missed my parents. I wanted to…go home."

"Lorelai," Dr. Beckner started, "You made a mistake when you were a kid. It doesn't make you a failure."

"Tell that to them"

"I'm telling it to you. They know that."

"What do you mean?"

"They know you're not a failure."

"What are you talking about? My mom called me a failure when I went to Rory's birthday party."

"No—she didn't. She called herself one."

_Silence_

"What?" Lorelai whispered.

"Lorelai, your mother didn't think you failed her. She thought she failed you."

"Who are you…God?"

Dr. Beckner laughed, "Hardly."

"Lorelai…your mother's death. It wasn't your fault."

Lorelai grabbed onto the side of the couch. "I don't want to talk about that."

"Lorelai, your mother's death wasn't your fault. You didn't cause it by having her come pick you up."

"I know that."

"Do you?"

"Yes."

"Lorelai…it wasn't your fault because you were the one that lived."

_Silence_

"Lorelai…"

_Silence_

"Lorelai, I can't stop your guilt because you lived and your mother didn't. But I can help you. Will you let me help you?"

"Yes."

"Say it outloud. Say it to me now."

"I want help."

Miles away, Laura Baker took off her robe and went to bed. She reached over and flipped on the second hand CD player she had bought a few weeks ago and smiled as the song "Girls Just Want to Have Fun," came on. Such a strange song to go to bed too, but for some reason, she was drawn to it—it comforted her in a way. She didn't know why, but the song made her very happy.


	4. Grandma's Audrey

Disclaimer: This is an original story based upon the characters of Gilmore Girls. No copyright infringement is intended and no profit will be made from this story.

Author's Note: Thank you to all who read and reviewed the last chapters. I really appreciate it. Thank you for being honest about your likes and dislikes. It helps me so much to know how I can improve. I got the impression that most of you weren't fans of the dialogue style that the last chapter was in and I also get the impression you want more of a duality in the chapters focusing on both Laura and the folks back home. I have a certain idea of how I want this story to go, so some chapters may not be to all of your likings, but I'll do my best to please the majority. I hope you enjoy the next installment

It was warm September evening with just a small chill in the air. The leaves were turning shades of bright yellow and red. Laura stood at the doorway and watched as Ben Goddard hurried down the stairs of her front porch and ran off into the summer night. She chuckled to herself as he turned around and waved to her, and then went off to join his friends who were waiting for him in the shadows of the dusky evening. Laura knew that Ben had absolutely no interest in playing the piano, but his mother had insisted that if he was to play in the elementary school football team, he had to take piano lessons as well. Laura couldn't keep the boy's attention to save his life for the first month of his lessons, so they had struck a deal. They would spend twenty-five minutes studying the piano, then for the last five minutes, he could tell her anything he wanted about the game of football. He liked that bargain.

Laura came out and sat on her porch, allowing the last of the summer breezes to swirl around her. She enjoyed working with children, it was so fulfilling. Ben had passed off his first scale that evening and it had tickled her to see the pride in his eyes. The sky was fading to a darker color and one small star was beginning to shine. Laura looked up into the big sky and once again her former life seemed so near she could almost touch it. Ben and his friends rode by on their bikes and waved to her. She waved back and smiled. Suddenly, she felt a pain, start in her stomach and reach its way up to her chest. She really did love these children and suddenly she wondered if she would be a good mother. She was certain that she could be and then staring up into the sky again the thought came to her…

_Maybe I already am one_

She had asked John a few months ago if she had been wearing a wedding ring when he found her. He said she hadn't, but that didn't stop her from being curious. Did she have a husband and children somewhere? She wondered if they were looking for her, not knowing that she was so far away from them in her mind that she couldn't remember who they were. Maybe somewhere, her husband was sitting outside on a night like this, wondering where she was. Maybe he was searching for her, and one day he would come into town and find her. She had heard John talk about Anna several times and she wondered if she could ever be loved like that. She leaned forward, putting her chin in her hands.

"I'm still here," she whispered, "Come and find me."

_Miles away, Richard Gilmore sat outside on his deck, sipping a scotch and staring out at the little world Emily had created. He had hired a gardener after she had…gone, because he couldn't bear to see the garden fall into disarray. There were times when he would walk outside and see her standing there, in her brown slacks and green plaid shirt, with her large hat guarding her delicate skin. She would turn and smile at him, he would start towards her, and then she disappeared. _

_He took another drink of scotch and stared up at the sky. Suddenly, a gentle wind came and lightly brushed his cheek and for a moment his Emmy felt so close he felt he could grab onto her and never let her go again. He sat forward, and for one moment he seriously thought that she would come through the door and tell him it was all a mistake, she hadn't drowned, she was here and she wasn't going to leave him again. She seemed so close; he could almost feel the touch of her lips against his. _

_He heard the back door open and his heart stopped. He turned, wondering if the miracle happened…but it was Rory. _

"_Rory!" Richard said, standing up to meet her. "This is a surprise, what are you doing out so late?" _

"_Hi Grandpa," Rory said. "I just needed to get out for awhile." _

"_I'm glad you stopped by," Richard said smiling. "I need some company tonight." He put a hand on her back to lead her over to a chair. She made it two steps before she broke down crying. Richard put his arms around her and she clung to him, burying her head in his large embrace. _

"_Shh, it's alright," he said. "It's alright." _

The air was getting cold, and Laura went inside. The house seemed big and lonely. She thought about playing the piano for awhile, but she had heard "Here we go…up a row…to a birthday party," so many times that day that the piano was not appealing. She walked into the kitchen and made herself a cup of hot tea and then decided to pop some popcorn. As soon as she had made a batch, she went downstairs to her basement and flipped on her large 70's era television. After finding nothing on, she scanned the small collection of videos she had acquired. She didn't have to search long to know what she wanted to watch, "My Fair Lady." She had grown to absolutely love this movie. She figured out that she had a love for musicals, but for some reason she loved this one the most. Audrey Hepburn was magical. There was something more though, the woman brought a pleasant feeling to the surface, just as lilacs and black hair did. For some reason, Audrey Hepburn was a key to her past as well, and Laura thought as the opening sequence began to play, that perhaps watching this time would cause her to remember.

_He let her cry for a few minutes, and then as she subsided he gently led her over to a chair and sat down across from her. _

"_What brought this on?" he asked gently. _

"_Just thinking about her I guess," she said, wiping away the tears. _

"_It means a lot to me that you came here," Richard said, placing a hand over hers and giving it a squeeze. _

"_I talked to Logan for a little while but it didn't help. I was halfway home to Stars Hollow when I realized I can't talk to mom either, she's just in too much pain. Luke is doing everything he can to take care of her. I just realized…I wanted, I needed to talk to you Grandpa." _

"_Needed?" he asked gently, his own tears burning in his eyes now. _

_She nodded, "Yes," _

"_Let's go inside," he said, taking off his coat and putting it around her shoulders. He put his arm around her and she leaned his head on his chest. It felt so good to him to be needed again, to feel some how that he could still protect his girls. He had lost the love of his life, his daughter couldn't look him in the eye, but Rory had come to him, Rory had needed him. _

_He sat down on the couch and motioned for her to sit down next to him. He put his arm around her and she leaned into his embrace. He had never been a man to express his emotions, but loosing his heart had done something to the tough business man, as agony often has a way of doing if the person going through it allows. The walls around his heart had softened instead of growing harder, and the love for his angel wife was making him a better man. He only wished he could get through to Lorelai. He knew she blamed herself for her mother's death and it killed him to think what she must be going through. But there was nothing he could do. He had never known how to reach out to Lorelai. It was different with Rory, he could always hug her or talk to her, but he couldn't do it with his own daughter. He refocused, and tightened his grip on Rory. _

"_Grandpa," she whispered. "Talk to me about her, tell me about her and me." _

"_The first time you smiled at her," he whispered, "She said that you looked just like Audrey Hepburn." _

Laura took the throw off of the couch and pulled it around her. It was a little chilly down in the basement. The throw and the tea warmed her up and suddenly she was nodding off. She dreamed of a baby with soft brown curls and large blue eyes that seemed to be laughing even when the baby wasn't smiling. Those blue eyes seemed to see right through her. She felt so happy, she wanted to pick up the baby and hold her to her forever. Suddenly a large, "AWOH!" from Eliza startled her awake and she continued watching the movie.

_For an hour Richard and Rory talked about Emily laughing at funny memories, and good times. "Did you remember that little bully you had in school?" Richard asked chuckling. "The one who was always calling you the library retard and would take your books and throw them in the garbage bin and you'd have to go in there after them?" _

"_Oh my gosh…Brad Norris! I completely forgot about him," she laughed. _

"_Did you know that when your grandmother found out what was going on, she found that boy's parents in the directory and called them up and told them that if they did not get a hold of their child, she was going to sue them for every book they had ruined and for inflicting mental cruelty on her granddaughter?" _

"_She didn't!" _

"_Brad Norris left you alone didn't he?" _

"_Oh my gosh! I can't believe that!" _

"_She loved you Rory, she loved you very much." _

_There was a pause for a moment… "Really?" she asked, leaning farther into his embrace. _

"_Do you doubt it?" he asked. _

"_After I was so horrible?"_

"_She always loved you Rory. That's why it hurt so much when you left. She felt bad about controlling you. She said you were right, she was trying to run your life and she told me time and time again that she didn't blame you for leaving. She thought she had driven you away. She thought she drove everyone away and she hated herself for it." _

"_Oh Grandpa," Rory sighed, and Richard brought a hand up to the back of her head. _

"_She knew you loved her Sweetheart. She knew that," he whispered. _

"_How?" Rory asked. _

"_She saw the look in your eyes. I saw it as well. That's how I knew you still loved me too." _

"_I love you Grandpa," Rory whispered. "I really do." _

"_I love you too Sweetheart," he said, hugging him to her. "We're going to get through this." _

_She nodded, "I know, I just miss her so much." _

"_I do too…I do too," he said giving her a final squeeze and then motioning for her to stand up. "Come with me, I want to show you something." _

_He led her upstairs to his bedroom and when they got there, he motioned to Emily's dresser. More tears came to Rory's eyes as her hands touched the elegant things that defined her grandmother—a silver plated brush and mirror, crystal bottles of perfume with sterling silver tops. Big velvet cushions with large cameos resting on them, and three or four jewelry boxes with large robes of pearls sticking out of them. He opened a coral collared box and rummaging through it, found an old locket that appeared to be well worn. He took it out and opened it for Rory. Inside was a baby picture of her. _

"_She wore this everyday when you were growing up," he whispered and turned it over to the back. On the back of the locket were engraven the words, "Grandma's little Audrey." _

_Rory choked back tears as Richard unclasped the locket and gently gathered her brown hair. He lovingly placed the locket on Rory, as he had helped his wife so many times. _

_When he was done, he placed his hands on her shoulders, trying to hold back his own emotions. _

"_Thank you Grandpa," Rory whispered. _

"_It's going to be okay Rory," he said, turning her around and hugging him to her. He only wished he could say the same thing to his little girl. _

"_I better go," Rory said, breaking the hug. _

_He walked her to the door and stood and waved as she drove off in her car. After she had gone, he looked up to Heaven and smiled. _

"_She's going to be okay Emily," he whispered. "I'll help our Lorelai. I promise." Then he blew up a kiss to the sky and slowly walked inside to once again walk up the stairs to an empty room. _

Professor Higgins leaned back and smiled, "Eliza, where the devil are my slippers?" he asked, and the ending music started. The movie was over, the guy and girl got together, and Laura still felt lonely. She started up the stairs and into her room, taking off her robe and climbing into bed. She was almost asleep when a soft breeze gently swept through her room and brushed her cheek. She smiled, and wondered if she ever had been kissed in her previous life, if that was anything like it.

So…any better?


	5. Truth and Lies

Disclaimer: This is an original story based upon the characters of Gilmore Girls. No copyright infringement is intended and no profit will be made from this story.

Author's Note: Thank you to all who have read and reviewed. I really appreciate it! I'm enjoying writing this story a lot and I have great plans for it. I hope you continue to like it. Sorry for the lack of updates lately! I'll do better!

"Do you want another piece of pie John?" Laura asked as she watched him savor his last bite.

"No, thank you Dear—but that was excellent," he said smiling up at her.

She smiled back at him and began to clear his plate. She enjoyed their weekly dinners together—the talks they had, the support they gave each other. As she cleared his plate, she noticed that John was looking a little flushed and she started to worry about him. He had promised that he was going to retire soon, but just kept going. "Maybe I shouldn't talk about it tonight," she thought as she put the dishes in the sink. But then she turned back towards him and her resolve was strengthened. She needed answers. She needed to find out who she was and if she had a family looking for her.

"John," she began, crossing over to the table and sitting down next to him.

"Yes?"

"I need to talk to you," she said, and after he nodded she continued. "John, I need to know. I need to know what happened that night. Where were you? Where did you find me? Did the hospital try to find anyone to identify me?"

There was a long pause and Laura began to worry she had indeed picked the wrong night to broach the subject.

"John please…tell me."

Again there was a long pause, and then finally he cleared his throat, "Laura—why can't you just be happy with your life now? Why do can't you just live your life now and not worry about the past?"

Laura just stared at him, anger starting to build in her, "John—how can you say that? Do you have any idea what this is like for me? I only have memories that go back eight months!"

"And they are good memories!" John interrupted. "Why can't you just be happy with them!"

"John," she said more forcefully, "You can't tell me that. You can't tell me just to be happy with what I've got. I don't know who I am, I don't know when my birthday is, I don't know how old I am! I don't even know if Laura is my real name!"

"Laura," John sighed and put his head in his hands, "Sweetie I know how hard this is for you. Believe me, I understand. But what if you never remember your old life? Are you going to waste this one always pining away for a reality that doesn't exist anymore?"

Again there was silence between them and both of them were uncomfortable with it. They had always glossed over the subject of her accident before, and this was the first time Laura had pushed it. Suddenly she had felt a fire inside of her she didn't know was there. She was going to get to the bottom of this. She was going to find out about the accident.

"John," she whispered forcefully, "Tell me about my accident."

John turned and looked at her, the stubbornness in her features reminding him so much of Marjorie. He clasped one hand over the other to stop them from shaking. He couldn't loose her too. He just couldn't.

"Laura," he said, adopting his daddy tone, "I'm worried that will just do more harm then good."

"John," she pleaded gently, "What if I have a family somewhere? What if someone is trying to find me? What if they think I'm dead?"

John swallowed hard and clasped his hands together tighter. He had known this day would come and he had dreaded it. He had grown to love Laura like his own daughter. She had needed him. He hadn't felt that in such a long time. If Laura did have a family out there she would find them and she would go home to them and he would be alone again. He couldn't bear that thought. He couldn't be alone again. "Maybe she didn't have a family," he told himself. Maybe she was alone in the world too—just like he was.

_Richard sat down on the couch and drew in a long puff of his cigar. "She hated these things," he said, staring down at the gray smoke slowly making its way out the end. "Do you mind if I smoke?" he asked the man in the chair, who was scribbling notes down on a yellow pad._

"_Not at all," he said. "If that's what makes you comfortable," he replied. _

"_I can't believe I'm doing this," Richard said smiling. "She'd go crazy if she knew. She never trusted head doctors." _

_The man in the chair who insisted that Richard called him Steven chuckled, "She sounds like quite the woman," he said and Richard drew in a long puff of his cigar. _

"_She was," he whispered. "She was." _

"_Tell me about her," Steven said. "Tell me why you loved her." _

_Suddenly Richard didn't want to smoke anymore. He smashed the cigar down in the ash tray, extinguishing the life out of it—just like the universe had done to his Emily. As the red embers died, the image came across him in his mind. The image of him tearing into the Emergency Room, and having his heart ripped out of him as the doctors told him that his wife had drowned and they had been unable to find the body. He couldn't breathe as he made his way to his daughter's room. She was sleeping from the sedative they had to give her when they had told her that her mother was dead. He gathered his baby girl in his arms, her limp body lying against his large chest and he had sobbed like he had never cried before. _

"_Richard," Steven said. "Tell me about your wife," _

"_She was the most beautiful woman in the world," he breathed. "I thought that the first time I saw her. I was engaged you know—to Pennilyn Lott. But when I saw Emily Hansen for the first time—she captured me with those eyes." _

"_What else?" Steven prodded. _

"_She had an amazing gift at the social graces. Nobody was as elegant as my Emmy. She could put on a party that would make the society column front page. I was so proud of her," he swallowed hard and felt the lump in his throat return. "I was always so proud of her." _

"_What else would you like to tell me about her?" Steven asked. _

_Richard breathed heavily and looked up at him. "The moment she stopped breathing was when I stopped breathing because she was my air. She was my life. I can't go on without her. I just can't." _

John stared at her, her features growing more and more stubborn. He knew he wasn't going to get out of it this time. "Please," he thought to himself. "Please don't leave me."

"Alright Laura," he said. "You were in a car accident. Your car went into the river and you were almost drowned. I found you by the side of the road. You were barely alive."

Laura tried to digest what he was saying, trying to go back in her mind and search for any memory of the accident. She shook her head and bit her lip, "I can't remember," she whispered. "When you took me to the hospital, did you call the police?" she asked.

"Yes of course, I did," he replied instantly.

"And when they came—did they know of anyone that was missing? How long was I in the hospital? Did anyone report me missing?"

"Laura," John sighed, "This is exactly why I didn't want to tell you this."

"John, stop treating me like a child and tell me the truth."

"No," he said after a few minutes. "No one ever came. Do you think you would be here if they had come?"

She sank down in her chair and put her head in her hands. So no one had come for her. No one had been looking for her.

"Where was this?" she whispered hoarsely. "Where did you find me?"

John looked at her, her reddish brown hair falling over her eyes, her worn hands shaking slightly and he hesitated—but only for a moment.

"Chicago," he said. "Right outside of Chicago."

There was another uncomfortable silence then and he stood up and went to her, putting his arms around her and put her head on his arm.

"Darling," he whispered. "Just be happy here. You have a good life. You have money and a good job. You live in a great community. And I love you like a daughter Laura. Please believe that. Just be happy."

"Why do you call me that?" she asked, reaching up a hand to wipe away her tears.

"What?" he asked.

"Laura…why do you call me Laura? Do you know that's my real name?"

"That's the name you were moaning when I found you," he replied. "It must be your real name."

She leaned into his embrace for another minute and then looked up at him and smiled. "Thank you John, thank you for telling me the truth," she said. He gave her a quick hug and then started towards the door.

"I'll see myself out," he whispered.

"See you later," she smiled back and listened to his footsteps. He was almost to the door when she called his name.

"Yes?" he replied.

"I'm not her," she said and then listened as he sighed and the screen door closed behind him. She knew he was right, she knew she couldn't live in the past—especially one she couldn't remember. But she couldn't let go yet. Tomorrow she would call the areas around Chicago and see if there were any missing persons reports that fit her description.

John walked slowly to the car—more slower than he had in a long time. This was not the night he was expecting when he had come over for dinner. "It was for the best," he said, reasoning away the lie he had just told. "Now she will call places in Chicago, know that no one is looking for her and she'll be happy here," he thought as he started the car and his daughter's voice clicked on. As he drove into the night, the lie seemed to fester in him like a wound. How could he tell her that as soon as he had taken out the phone to call 911, he had remembered the hospitals his wife and his daughter had gone to die in? How could he tell her that he had never called 911, but instead had cared for her himself, her life hanging in the balance during that first long night? How could he tell her that because of him, because she hadn't been given the proper medical attention that it was most likely the reason that when she did wake up she couldn't remember who she was? He turned the music up louder trying to drown out his conscience as he drove away. What if she really didn't have a family? What if she really was happier here?"

_It was late as Richard pulled into Lorelai's driveway and slowly got out of the car. "Just talk to her," Steven had told him. "She's your daughter, you almost lost her too. Just tell her what you're feeling." He walked slowly up to the door, his hands shaking slightly and rang the doorbell. He tried to swallow his embarrassment when Luke came to the door in his sweats. He wasn't surprised to find Luke there—it was just weird seeing him there in his sweats and from the look on Luke's face it was awkward for him too. _

"_Hello Luke," he said, hoping that his eyes weren't too big. _

"_Richard," Luke said nervously, suddenly feeling like a sixteen year old, "How are you?" _

"_Fine," Richard said. "Just fine—you?" _

"_Oh—I'm fine too. Just fine," Luke answered and there was a long pause. _

"_Is my daughter around?" Richard asked as Luke simultaneously asked, "Did you want to talk to your daughter?" _

_Luke cleared his throat and motioned for Richard to come in and have a seat on the couch. "I'll get her," he said and disappeared off into the kitchen. _

_As Richard waited he scanned the pictures a top the mantle, trying to avoid the ones of Emily at first, but then again for over forty years he hadn't had much success avoiding looking at his wife and his eyes settled on a picture of the three girls together at Christmas time. Emily had such a bright smile on her face—the delight of having her girls around her evident. That smile seemed to seep into his heart and give him courage for he had never been any good at talking to Lorelai and didn't know how he was going to help her now. He was the only parent she had left in the world and somehow in that smile he was finding the strength to be the support that she needed. _

"_Dad!' Lorelai said brightly as she came into the room with a cup of tea. "How are you? It's good to see you. Would you like some tea? Do you need anything to eat?" she asked and then began to clean up the area around him. "How was your day?" she asked. "Any new clients lately? How's Karen?" she was talking a mile a minute. Richard was not fooled for one minute by this cover up. He knew her better than that. She was after all her mother's daughter. _

"_I had a good day at the inn today. Sookie made the most delicious lunch today. I'll have to see if there are any leftovers and I can bring you out some," _

"_Lorelai…" Richard said gently. _

"_Did I tell you that Kirk is now working at the deli? I mean—is there anything that man doesn't do? He has over a thousand jobs!" _

"_Lorelai…" Richard said more firmly and stood up. She began to clean all around the living room, avoiding his eyes. "Rory called today, she said she got an A on her first paper. Isn't that great?" _

_Richard moved gently towards her, as if he was approaching a wounded animal and slowly reached up and cupped his hands gently around her face. Lorelai's lower lip began to quiver and she looked down at the floor. He put a finger under her chin and gently lifted it to face him. Tears overflowed in her eyes and he placed the hand back on her cheek and then as he had done when she was a very little girl, he brought her forehead to touch his and with his thumb brushed away one of her tears. _

"_Baby," he whispered, feeling closer to his daughter than he had since the first time that Emily had put her in his arms. "It wasn't your fault." _

_She choked back a little sob and he gathered her in his arms. Lorelai put her arms around him, burying her head in the chest that had defined comfort when she was a little girl and had almost forgotten what it was like to hear the sound of her strong daddy's heart beating against her head. _

_Soon Luke came into the room and put his arms around Lorelai as well. She switched chests, but kept one hand clenched to her father's coat lapels as she finally let go of the anguish and guilt that had haunted her for so long. _


	6. Letting Go

Disclaimer: This is an original story based upon the characters of Gilmore Girls. No profit will be made from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Note: Thanks for all the feedback in the previous chapters. I'm having a lot of fun with this story! Emily seems to be doing very well in the fan fiction world lately and it's been great fun to read more stories about her! Anyway, there isn't much to say about this next installment except two things. First—I give you fair warning, it's very sad. You might want a few tissues for this one. Second—as you read this chapter, just trust me. That's all I'll say. I hope you enjoy!

Thanksgiving came and went. On the Eastern side of the country Richard Gilmore tried to get through the holiday the best he could for the sake of his family. It was the first Thanksgiving he had ever had in his life where it was not being presided over by a womanly presence and even though he said he was looking forward to a quiet day of relaxing, he was relieved when his daughter invited him for Thanksgiving over at the Dragonfly. On the Western side of the country, Laura Baker—who was getting quite the reputation as a cook, gave a meager little dinner party for a few friends.

_December came and brought a chill to Hartford that they hadn't seen in a few years. The cold seemed harsher to each of the Gilmore's as they prepared for their first Christmas without Emily. Rory, thinking of the last Christmas when she wasn't speaking to her grandmother, dealt with the guilt that comes to everyone who has lost someone they dearly loved but had quarreled with. Each morning when she took out the locket from the jewelry box and put it on, she wished that she could go back and have just one more day with her grandma. Lorelai, who had never known a Christmas without her mother's presence, even during the years of estrangement felt like there was a hold inside of her. She tried to be happy during the day but at night fully gave herself to emptiness she felt and cried to sleep in Luke's arm. Even snow held no magic for her anymore._

_Luke felt Emily's loss mostly in his love, who had needed her turn to postpone things for awhile and it was his turn to be patient as she worked through the loss of her mother. He lay awake at night, holding Lorelai in his arms when she would finally sleep. She had gotten to the point where she didn't blame herself for the wreck as much anymore. She had let go of that. But there was a part of her that had died that day along with her mother and he worried that he would never get that part back. For years he had listened to Lorelai complain about her mother and when he had finally met her, he frankly agreed that Emily was exactly what Lorelai had described. But now, he saw that part of Lorelai die that Emily had shaped and molded—her stubbornness, her fierce loyalty, her wit and cleverness and realized that Emily had influenced her daughter more than he had ever thought. How could he help Lorelai get that part of herself back even though her mother was gone now? _

_Richard felt the absence of his love most of all, for it was Emily that had made magic at Christmas. This year there was to be no Christmas party, no elegant tree, no carefully picked out presents wrapped in silver paper and tied with gold ribbons. He dreaded coming home at night now. There was no scent of a Christmas tree, no decorated house, no gingerbread cookies or pecans she'd saved for him out of the baskets she was putting together for friends. Most of all, there was no Emily to come home to, no wife to kiss him and ask him how his day went. Day after day as Christmas approached, he closed his eyes in pain as he walked in the door and slowly walked up the stairs alone—his footsteps resounding in the hallway. _

"_What will you do for Christmas?" Steven asked him at their Thursday appointment. _

"_Lorelai invited me to spend Christmas with them," Richard responded smiling sadly. _

"_That's nice," Steven said and Richard nodded. "I suppose," he said. _

"_What do you mean?" Steven prodded and Richard sighed. "Her mother would have given anything, anything in the world to be invited to spend Christmas with Lorelai. It was always Emily that had to do the inviting—always." _

_Steven scribbled a few notes on the pad and while Richard turned and looked out the window. Maybe he needed a change, he thought to himself as he watched the twirling snowflakes fall to the ground. Maybe he needed to move somewhere—somewhere far away where he could get on with his life without being reminded of Emily every five minutes. But then again the snow reminded him that he could not leave the part of Emily that was still with him—their daughter, and their granddaughter. _

"_Richard," Steven said after a few minutes. "How is Lorelai?" _

_Richard leaned forward and put his face in his hands. "I don't know," he breathed. "She seems to be doing alright, and I hardly ever hear her talking about feeling guilty that she was the one that lived. She's a resilient girl—she gets that from her mother." _

"_Richard," Steven said after a few minutes of writing, "After you went over there that night and you said she cried with you and finally let it all out, how soon did you go back over there?" _

"_I don't know," he said. "Why?" _

"_When's the last time you saw her? When's the last time you talked to her?" _

_Richard swallowed and shook his head, "I don't know, I talked to her a few weeks ago at Thanksgiving. That was the last time." _

"_Richard…"he began and hesitated as if he wanted to make sure he got the words right. "Are you avoiding Lorelai?" _

_Richard visibly bristled at the suggestion, "Certainly not!" he barked. "I'm trying to get over the death of my wife, trying to continue making a living. I'm a busy man! Lorelai knows where I am. She doesn't come to me! She doesn't talk to me!" _

_Steven took off his glass and pointed them at Richard to drive home his point. His voice was suddenly firm, "Richard, don't do that. Don't turn it on Lorelai. Tell me—are you avoiding your daughter?" _

"_I am there every time Rory needs to talk. I drop everything when Rory comes over. She talks to me! She comes to me!" _

"_Richard," Steven said firmly again, "Rory is not your daughter. Rory is not the one that was in the car that night. Just answer the question Richard…are you avoiding your daughter?" _

_Suddenly Richard's resolve crumbled and he brought his fist up to his face like a desperate man and slowly nodded. _

"_Do you blame her for that night?" Steven asked and brought on another fierce reply. _

"_No!" Richard shouted standing up and clenching his fists. I never blamed her! Never!" _

"_Stay with me Richard!" Steven commanded in a soft but firm voice. "Is there any part of you, any part of all that blamed Lorelai for that night. Any part of you that feels regret…" _

"_What?" Richard exploded, "What? That my daughter lived and my wife didn't? How can you ask me that? How can any man be expected to live with that kind of a dilemma?" _

"_Richard, answer the question," Steven said. _

"_No! No I never felt that! Never!" he shouted. _

"_Then why are you avoiding Lorelai?" Steven asked quietly. _

"_Because I don't know how to do this!" Richard yelled fiercely and it surprised him at how intense a feeling it was. _

"_Don't know how to do what?" Steven prodded, letting the embers of Richard's words die before he continued. _

"_I don't know how to be a single parent! I don't really even know how to be a parent!" he cried. "I showed up for birthday parties and piano concerts. I gave her money on graduation, wanted to pulverize her boyfriends, but I don't know how to do it by myself! She doesn't need me anyway," he concluded, utterly defeated. _

"_That isn't true and you know it," Steven said after a few minutes. _

"_Yes it is, she's got Luke, she's got Rory. She doesn't need me." _

"_Yes she does Richard," Steven said. "She's always needed you. She needs you now." _

_Richard sighed and put his head in his hands. It was never supposed to be this way. He wished Emily was here. Emily will tell him to get out of the stupid shrink's office and pull himself together. _

_As if Steven had heard his thoughts, he leaned forward and very quietly began to speak. _

"_Richard, how long has it been since your wife died?" he asked gently. _

"_It'll be a year in April," Richard said slowly. _

"_I'm going to ask you a question Richard, and I want you to know that I'm just trying to help you. You want to help your daughter right? You want to be there for her?" _

"_Yes," Richard whispered. _

"_I think you are avoiding your daughter because you are still holding onto your wife. I believe you when you said that you don't blame Lorelai for your wife's death, but I think you don't really grasp the fact that your daughter did survive the crash and she is alive. Richard…I think it's time you let the dead go and focus on the living. I think it's time you let Emily go." _

_Richard's head snapped up at those words and he felt as though someone had grabbed a hold of his heart and was strangling the life out of it. _

"_I can't" he choked out. _

"_Yes you can," Steven said gently. "I'm going to help you." _

_Richard closed his eyes against the impending pain. _

"_Emily's not coming back Richard," Steven said gently and Richard drew in a sharp breath. _

"_Say it Richard. You can do it," _

"_Emily…is not…coming back…" and with that the big man broke down and sobbed. _

Laura Baker smiled as two of her students—Jed and Michael brought in a large wonderfully smelling tree and placed it in her front room. The scent was breathtaking.

"Is that good Ms. Baker?" they asked as they laid on the floor and fastened the tree to its stand.

"Yes—that's fine boys! Just fine!" she said and clapped her hands delightedly. "There's some cookies and hot chocolate in the kitchen, help yourself," she said and the boys disappeared at once because Ms. Baker's peanut butter and jam sandwich cookies were elevated to godhood in the mind of her students. Laura took out the string of lights she had bought at Wal-Mart and began to string them over the tree. It was such fun, stringing the lights and then the tinsel. She had a set of blue and a set of gold balls, and then as a treat she had bought herself a set of gold Christmas bells with glitter snowflakes and tiny ruby centers. Each made a magical sound when she shook it. She had also bought an abundance of candy canes and the boys helped her hang those as soon as they had had their fill of cookies. She gave them a candy cane to take home with them and as soon as they left she turned off the lights and the colors danced along the ceiling. Suddenly she felt like a little girl, and felt she was entitled to the feeling because she couldn't remember what being a little girl felt like. She lay down on her back, and sidled under the tree. The smell was intoxicating. It seemed like a whole other world, a world of pine branches and lights. She giggled and thought how ridiculous she would seem to anyone who was watching—a grown woman lying under the tree like a ten year old. But somehow lying under the tree felt safe—it had been a long hard disappointing month. For weeks she had tried to find out any information at all about her past in Chicago. There were no missing person's reports that fit her description, no husband and children that were making a desperate search to find her. Maybe she had just been in Chicago on business. Maybe whatever family she had had given her up for dead. Maybe—she really didn't have any family at all.

The lights twinkled pleasantly at her and she drew in a long breath. With that breath was the painful but necessary revelation that it was time to let go. John was right—she couldn't keep living in the past. Whoever she had been, she had tried to find her long enough. Maybe her memory would return one day—maybe it wouldn't. She had to make a choice though. Right now, she was Laura Baker. She had a good life, she had friends, a job she loved, and she lived in a good neighborhood that had accepted her— amnesia and all. "I am Laura Baker," she said resolutely and a small tear escaped her as she began to give up her ideas of a family that was out there waiting for her. When she sidled out of the Christmas tree after a few minutes, it was with a determination to be Laura Baker and only Laura Baker. This was her life now and she needed to live it.

_Richard opened the door slowly and the maid greeted him, "Merry Christmas Sir," she said curtsying and he nodded. "Thank you Betty," he said quietly. _

"_It's Bonnie Sir," she said meekly as she helped him of with his coat. _

"_Yes of course," Richard said and slowly made his way up the stairs. He paused at the top of the stairs and his large chest heaved in pain as he turned towards his room. He had asked the maid to prepare some boxes for him and leave them in his room. They were there, assembled neatly and stacked near the closet. He opened one and then opened her closet. _

_The afterthought of her perfume still hung in the air and stung his lungs as he breathed it in and realized that it would soon be snuffed out of the air. One by one he took her clothes, so elegant and neatly pressed and placed them in the box. A few he buried his face in, trying to commit that scent to heart. Once all her clothes were packed up, he brushed the tears out of his eyes and went to her dresser. One by one he cleaned out the drawers—the pantyhose neatly rolled into balls and laying in color coordinated rows, the lavender sachets she had tucked everywhere. In one drawer he found an old drawing of two stick figures. The taller one had red hair, and the shorter one had black hair. Across the top was written in scratchy handwriting, "I luv u Mommy." If his heart had not already been smashed, this would have done it. A few more tears fell from his eyes. In one drawer was the silver music box she had specially made on their wedding day. He had completely forgot about it, he pressed the little silver button to open the top and a small bride and groom appeared, dancing through magic of magnets around and around on a mirror surface. Inside were engraved the words, "Richard and Emily Forever." He closed his eyes and the tears streamed down his face as he slowly wrapped the music box in tissue paper and placed it in the box. _

_On top of the dresser he took the jewelry boxes and shut them tightly for the last time. Never again were the contents of those boxes to grace the elegant neck he always tenderly kissed after he helped her on with her necklace. The jewelry boxes went into a box. He wrapped up the perfume bottles, the broach cushions, and the silver plaited mirror and brush. The only thing he left on her dresser was the photographs. A large pearl lined one of their wedding day, a silver plated one of their second wedding day, a dove colored one of Lorelai as a baby, and rose colored one of the four of them together. Picking up the large box he made his way to the attic, each step a little harder than the last. He set the box down and walked away from it. After the last box was put up in the attic, he slowly removed the pillow from his wife's side of the bed and placed it in the closet. He swallowed hard against the burning feeling in his throat and sat down on the bed. He looked around for a moment and then reached up and dried his tears. _

_After he had gotten control of his emotions, he picked up the phone and dialed a number. _

"_Hello?" the familiar voice answered at the other end. _

"_Lorelai…its Dad," he said. "How are you?" _

Okay—like I said. Just trust me


	7. Fathers, Daughters, and Airport Scenes

Disclaimer: This is an original story based upon the characters of Gilmore Girls. No profit will be made from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Note: Thanks to all who read and reviewed the last chapter. I'm glad you liked it. Hope you enjoy this next installment.

Josie Petty was a heavy-set woman with a great love for powdered sugar donuts. Laura smiled as she sipped her coffee and watched Josie devour her second package of the morning. Tuesday morning coffee and Starbucks was a tradition now between the two ladies since after Christmas. Josie was the mother of one of her students and the two had become friends quickly. Laura enjoyed their time together, Josie was a talker but not in an annoying way. She never pushed her boundaries, but simply had the same zest for living that she had for powdered sugar donuts and it came out in everything she did.

"I'll tell you something Sweetie," Josie said as she wiped the powdered sugar off of her fingers, "I don't know how I'm going to be ready for this Garden Club party on Sunday. Nothing is working out the way that I planned! The caterer is sick, so I have to find another one, the table linens are a terrible mess from the last party and I don't have time to wash them and it takes a fortune to get things dry cleaned at _Charlie's_. I just don't know what I'm going to do." She sighed heavily and bit into another donut.

"You do know you are going to single handedly make the Hostess people billionaires right?" Laura said smiling as she sipped drink of her coffee.

"Alright go ahead and talk Miss Skinny!" Josie said as she finished off her donut.

Laura smiled and shook her head, "What can I do to help crazy lady?" she asked. "Do you want me to take the table cloths home with me and get them ready?"

Josie smiled and put a hand on Laura's arm. "You're the best Doll! The absolute best!" she said as she finished off the last of the donuts.

"_You're going to be late," Michel said for the fifth time as Lorelai passed him leading the Turner's to the front room. He said it again as she came back through the room and pointed at the clock. "He hates it when you're late," he reminded her. _

"_Well, I was two weeks late meeting the man for the first time, you think he could be patient with five minutes," she said nonchalantly as she grabbed her purse and headed out the door. "I'll be back in two hours!" she called. _

_Richard looked over the menu as he waited for his daughter to arrive. They had been having lunch every Tuesday afternoon for a few months now and he was surprised to find out how much he enjoyed it. Both of them were busy, so many times it was a quick salad and a drink, but he felt closer to his daughter than he had in years and was amazed at how easy it was to talk to her. The family still met together for dinner on Friday night, and he enjoyed that, but he found himself looking forward to those Tuesday luncheons the most. Partly it was because being with the child that he and Emily created reminded him of his wife, and partly because he was beginning to realize the treasure he had never known he had. He had always loved his daughter, but for the first time in his life he was falling in love with his child—her wit, her smile, her laugh. He liked the feeling. He liked it a lot. _

"_Hey Dad," Lorelai said, sliding into the seat opposite of him. _

"_You're late," he said, looking through his rims out of his glasses disapprovingly but smiling. _

_She returned the smile, "Sorry, had a few things to take care of before I could leave." _

"_Well," he shrugged, "You were two weeks late the first time I met you. I guess five minutes shouldn't make a big difference." _

_Lorelai giggled, "That's what I said!" _

_They decided they had time to take a full hour today, but chose quickly so they would have time to eat. Lorelai chose a double cheeseburger and fries. Richard chose a medium rare steak and a side of coconut fried shrimp. _

"_So, how are you?" Richard asked as they sipped their drinks while waiting for their meal. _

"_Fine—things are pretty crazy," she replied. "You?" _

"_Oh you know, work…and more work," he said smiling. _

"_Yes, I know!" she laughed rolling her eyes and then got serious. "You're not over doing it though are you?" she asked. Lorelai eyed her father carefully as she asked. She had been worried about him lately. He had been very busy at work and traveling a lot. She knew he missed her mother deeply, and she hoped he wasn't burying himself in work to work through his pain. She couldn't stand to loose another parent. _

_Richard seemed to sense her feelings and told her he was fine, while giving her a reassuring wink. "How are the wedding plans coming?" he asked and smiled at the light that came into her eyes when she talked about the wedding. _

"_I can't believe its happening Dad," she said. "I mean, we've been engaged for almost two years. It's really happening. I can't believe it!" she said excitedly and then as the waiter brought their food she excitedly told him that she was getting married on June 11th and the waiter nodded cordially. She talked incessantly about the wedding plans as they ate, Rory and Sookie were both matrons of honor, Sookie had the menu all planned, and April was going to be a bridesmaid._

"_And who are you going to get to walk you down the aisle?" Richard asked slyly. _

"_Taylor," she said without missing a beat. "He'll look great in his blue tux." _

"_Very funny," Richard said. _

"_The dress is gorgeous, you're going to love it Dad. My bouquet has pale pink and white roses, and Davy and Martha are going to be the ring bearer and the flower girl. The cake is going to have sugar bells, and I can't wait to see what Mom is going to do when she sees…" She stopped suddenly and dropped her fork, realizing what she had just said. _

_Richard reached out and put his hand over hers. "It's alright," he whispered. "It's alright." _

_Lorelai cursed under her breath and brushed a tear away. "You know something?" she said, "All my life, I thought I would die of embarrassment if Mom ever planned my wedding. I wanted to do it simple. I wanted to do it my way. Now…I can't imagine that day without her." _

_Richard nodded saying that he understood, "She would have loved to have been there," he replied. _

"_Do you think it's too soon?" Lorelai asked. "Do you think we're doing this too soon after Mom...you know?" _

"_It's been a year Lorelai," he said. "You need to move on, you need to get on with living with your life. Your mother would have wanted that." _

_In spite of the seriousness of the moment, Lorelai had to laugh. "Mom would have wanted me to marry Luke?" _

_Richard smiled, "Your mother would want you to be happy." _

_Lorelai swallowed and then suddenly wanted to change the subject, "Rory said to tell you goodbye," she said, returning to her fries. _

"_When does she leave?" _

"_Saturday—she'll be gone for a week." _

"_Good, that will be good for her." _

"_Yeah, I don't know who's looking forward to it more, her or Chris." _

_At Christmas time, Christopher had surprised his daughter with a promised trip to California. For the first twenty-one years of her life, a promised trip from her father wouldn't have carried a lot of weight, but Christopher had been trying hard to be a better father and especially since Emily's death, he had realized how precious time was and wasn't going to waste any more of it. Gigi was going to spend the week at Grandma's, and Chris and Rory were going to hit California just the two of them. _

"_Be sure to tell her to pack her sunscreen. I don't want her coming home with cancer," Richard said, as he finished off the rest of his steak. _

"_I'll be sure…I have to run Dad," she said, wiping her mouth. _

"_I've got this week," he said, pulling out his wallet. _

"_Thanks," she said, and as she got up she reached down and kissed him, "Bye Daddy," she said _

"_Bye Hon," he said, returning the kiss on the other cheek. _

"Josie?" Laura called among the mess of tulle and hurricane candle holders.

"Over here!" Josie called, waving a hand while trying to fasten a garland of ivy to the stairs.

"Laura, I'm so glad you're here!" she cried out and put her free arm around her friend. "This is just a disaster!"

"Well," Laura said, smoothing her hand over the crisp white tablecloths, "The tablecloths are washed and ironed. What else can I do?"

"I don't know!" Josie cried. The party is tomorrow, the new caterer doesn't have enough servers, the decorations are a disaster, and I have to pick up my niece from the LAX airport at 9:30, and I have no time!"

Laura put down the tablecloths and surveyed the surroundings. Tulle covered the ground, and there was an array of artificial flowers were scattered everywhere. She smoothed her hand over the tablecloths and suddenly like lilacs, Audrey Hepburn and black hair, she was suddenly served with an intense déjà vu. She knew what to do. She could help.

"You," she said, pointing a club member who was counting candlesticks, "Get on the phone with the caterer and let me talk to them." She pointed to another woman and told her gather up all the flowers and start putting them in vases, but to let her see them first to make sure they were arranged properly. She gave a few more orders, than stuck a half a dozen pins in her mouth and went to work on pinning tulle around the banister. "White lights!" she said, "That's what we need! White lights, get me some white lights!" she commanded and then turned. Josie was looking as though the world had just come to an end, and the rest of them were frozen in their spots, staring at her.

"Please?" she said meekly and they recovered from their shock and set to work. Two hours later, the room was set for a garden party Queen Elizabeth would have been proud of. The room sparkled as if the stars had come especially for the occasion, the flower bouquets looked almost real, and the Hannah Johnson declared that the tablecloths didn't look that white and clean when they were first bought.

"Laura, you are amazing!" Josie proclaimed, rewarding herself with a package of powdered sugar donuts out of the vending machine.

"My pleasure," Laura said as she scanned the room with immense pride. It was beautiful—and she had helped create it!

"Now," she said, turning to Josie. "You go home, and take it easy. I'll go to the airport and pick up your niece."

"You are too sweet!" Josie said, and tried to protest but Laura wouldn't hear of it. After getting the girl's name, description and flight number, she headed out the door.

It was about a twenty minute drive to LAX from Bentley, and Laura was always a bit nervous about driving at night. Her car wasn't the most reliable car, but it served her well. She was enjoying the drive tonight, still feeling high from her accomplishment. She rolled down the window and let the wind run through her hair. The traffic increased as she got closer to the airport, and finally made it to the booth where she took her ticket for parking.

"_So, tomorrow…" Chris said as he and Lorelai walked off the plane, "Tomorrow we have Disneyland, and dinner at Medieval Times, and Disneyland… and then the next day we have Disneyland, and dinner at Fredley's Fine Cuisine and…Disneyland." Rory chuckled. "Gee Dad, are you excited about Disneyland?" she asked sarcastically. _

"_Silly Rabbit," Chris said, as he brushed a finger over his daughter's nose. "Disneyland is for kids." _

_Rory chuckled again and then slipped her arm in the crook of her father's. "So—when the gate is opened, ten bucks I'll beat you to Pirates of the Caribbean." _

"_You're on!" he said, his eyes glowing. _

"_So the shuttle is going to meet us outside?" she asked, yawning. _

"_Yeah, I'm looking forward to that hotel!" he said as they made their way down the escalator._

"Are you Ann?" Laura asked as she saw a young woman looking around her an escort.

"Yes," she said.

"I'm Laura Baker; I'm a friend of your aunts. I came to get you, your aunt has had a long day."

"Yes! Aunt Josie's mentioned you," she said smiling. "Thank you for coming and getting me."

"It's my pleasure," Laura replied and picked up one of the girls' bags. "Is this all your luggage?" she asked.

"Yes, that's all,"

"Okay, my car is right out this way," Laura said and nodded towards the door.

_Chris and Rory rode down the second escalator to the main floor where the baggage claim was. The arena was huge, with at least fifteen large circular wheels spitting out luggage. _

"_What do you want to do for dinner?" Chris asked. "Order in or do you want to go somewhere?" _

_He received no answer and when he turned towards his daughter, he almost dropped his carryon bag. His daughter had gone as white as a sheet. _

_Rory was staring at a far corner of the room where a woman was helping a girl out the door. She was seeing things, she was sure of it. _

_And then the woman turned and Rory screamed. _

"_Grandma!" she yelled and dropping her bags, stumbled down the rest of the way of the escalator. _

"_Rory wait!" Chris yelled and hurried after her. Rory couldn't hear him. "Grandma!" she screamed again and began shoving the people out of the way. She stumbled and fell on the floor and pushed herself back up again. "Get out of my way!" she yelled fiercely as she shoved more people out of her way. Finally she got to the door where she had seen the woman and scanned desperately around her. Chris finally caught up with her and hugged her to him. _

"_Let me go!" she said. "It was her Dad! I know it was her!" _

"_Rory listen to me," Chris said, "It wasn't her. It wasn't!" _

_Rory wrapped her arms around her father and started to cry, "Dad please…help me. It was her. I know it was her." _

"_Sweetie," he said, his own tears at his daughter's pain brimming in his eyes. "She's dead. She's dead." _

_Rory forced herself away and looked at her father. "Daddy please—I know it. I know it was her. Please! Help me!" _

_There was something in his girl's eyes that made Chris drop all reason and suddenly bolt out the door. He ran quickly up and down the aisles of the parking garage, his feet resounding on the pavement. "Emily!" he yelled, ignoring the look of people getting in their cars. _

_He ran up to the second floor when airport security stopped him. He brought them back down to his shaking daughter, who showed them a picture of Emily. They said they had never seen her, but would keep an eye out for her. Chris put his arm around his daughter and led her out to the shuttle. She put her head on his shoulder as they rode in the dark to the hotel. _

"_I know you miss her Sweetie," Chris said. _

_Rory reached up and held onto her locket. "It was her Dad," she said, but even as she spoke, the logic and reason she had relied on her whole life flooded into her mind. She had been far away, she really didn't get a good look at her, and the biggest logic piece of all—Grandma was dead. She had been dead for a year. She leaned in closer in her Dad's embrace, enjoying the comfort that it brought and tried to get the woman's face out of her mind. She wasn't having much luck. _

"Did you hear that commotion back there?" Ann said as they drove along the highway back to Bentley.

"Yeah, a little," Laura replied. "I just heard someone yelling. It's a good thing we got out when we did."

And as Laura drove along, the same black hair, Audrey Hepburn, lilac feeling overtook her and she was quiet all the way home.


	8. Grandmas and Francines

Disclaimer: This is an original story based upon the characters of Gilmore Girls. No profit will be made from this story, and no copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Note: Thanks to all who read and reviewed the last chapter. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Hope you enjoy the next installment.

Laura quietly unlocked her door and walked inside; massaging the knot she was getting in the back of her neck. It had been a long day. She walked past the dishes lying in the sink, and the ironing board that was still up from pressing the tablecloths. She was beat, and Josie had asked her help at the garden party the next day. She changed in her pajamas and couldn't shake the nervous feeling in her stomach. She had felt it as soon as they had left the airport. She put her hand against her chest as though it was some kind acid indigestion and lay down on the bed. It was something about the commotion that had happened in the airport as they were leaving. It probably just startled her; she thought to herself as she lay against the pillow and ran her fingers through her hair. That had to have been it.

"_Come in," Rory called as she sat on the bed coming out her wet hair. _

_Chris opened the door and stepped inside. "How ya doin Sweetie?" he asked. _

_Rory shrugged, "Like I just made a fool of myself," she replied. _

_Chris put an arm on her shoulder, "Yeah, I would expect a scene from Gigi, but not from you Kiddo," he said smiling. _

"_Very funny," she replied. _

"_Hey look," he said. "I may not be as cute as your mom, but I do have nice ears. They are good for listening. Wanna talk about it?" _

_Rory looked out the window and then turned back towards him. "I was so sure it was her Dad," she said. _

"_But Hon, you were so far away. That always happens when you loose someone you love. You see them everywhere." _

"_I know, I know," Rory said, putting down the comb and running her fingers through her wet hair. "I was just so sure. I did see her face. I was positive it was her." _

"_Rory…Honey," Chris started but Rory cut him off. _

"_They never found her body Dad!" she said emphatically. "What if she made it through the storm? What is she's still alive?" _

_Chris stared at his daughter and suddenly felt like he was addressing a six year old who was still desperately trying to still believe in Santa Claus. _

"_Honey…" he said. "Even if she did make it out of the river, which the rescuers said was impossible, what would she be doing in California? And why hasn't she contacted her family in a year? Hon, they don't have any rivers that reach from Connecticut to California." _

_Rory sighed, and went back to combing out her hair. "I know," she said. "I guess I just wanted it to be her. Thanks for listening anyway Dad." _

"_Anytime," he replied and kissed the top of her head. "Have a good sleep Sweetheart," he said as he walked quietly out the door. Rory lay down in her bed and brought her knees up to her chest. Bless his heart for trying, but her dad hadn't been much help. She wanted to call her mom, but didn't want to upset her with her apparition of Grandma. She pulled the velour blanket over her and tried to get some sleep. _

The garden club party was a success and after the party Laura Baker was unanimously voted in as the newest member and was put in charge of the summer festival. Two days later, Laura received three phone calls from businesses in the area wanting her to plan their next party. She was delighted. She had been surprised at how easily it came to her to decorate and plan parties and how fun it was. The money from those parties would pay the rent for two months, plus the car payment, and the piano payment, which left her with most of her piano student money to do with whatever she liked. This was a rare luxury. After dinner on Wednesday, she brought out the Penny's catalog, and began scanning it for new clothes.

"_Hey Rory," Chris said as they walked along the beach eating cotton candy. _

"_Yeah?" she replied. _

"_I was wondering…if you'd do something for me," Chris said, shoving his hands in his pockets. _

"_What's that?" _

"_Well, my mom, she wanted to know if you'd come see her. If you'd have tea with her." _

_That was not what she had been expecting at all. Francine Hayden had never given her the time of day. She had only met her twice and both times were not very conducive to building relationships. Once was when they were trying to have a nice family get together. She had to leave the room, Straub had insulted her mom, and Richard and almost pulverized Straub. The next time she had seen her was years later at Straub's funeral. She had watched her as she walked away holding the small hand of Gigi. She had wondered how crazy she was to be jealous of a two year old. Gigi was the one her Grandmother Hayden had wanted. Gigi was the kid…her father had wanted. _

"_Hello?" Chris said, bringing her out of her thoughts. "Earth to Rory? You okay?" _

"_Yeah," she said, embarrassed that she had spaced out. "Sure Dad…that would be fine. I'll go," she said. _

"_Thanks Sweetie," he said, reaching out and squeezing her hand, "That'll mean a lot to her." _

"So, your first business party is in two weeks?" John asked as he took another bite of ham.

"Yes," she said, nonchalantly, looking over samples of tablecloths while she was eating. "What do you think?" she asked, "The forest green satin with the beige lace?"

"That looks fine," he said, smiling. He was delighted that she had found something else to do and that she was so good at it. He enjoyed seeing her excel and it pleased him that she was so happy. Selfishly, he was also happy that she had finally seemed to let go of trying to figure out her past. She was happy with her life in the here and now and he was very relieved. He looked at her with affection as she excitedly went through different flower catalogs picking out the table decorations.

"Are you coming on Wednesday?" Laura asked as she started cleaning the plates.

John looked down at his plate and started picking at the chicken bones with his fork.

"John…" she started again and he looked up at her.

"Laura, you know I love to hear you play the piano, and you know I would support you in anything. But, to drive twenty minutes to LA, and sit for an hour and a half listening to little kids plink out _Twinkle Twinkle Little Star_."

She reached over and smacked him with the dishtowel. "Come on John, it'll be fun. And as it turns out, I am playing at the recital."

John stood up and kissed her cheek. "Then I wouldn't miss it for the world," he said and she blushed. "Although why are you having it in LA? Why don't you have it here?"

"I just thought it would be fun for the kids to have it somewhere more prestigious this time," she said as she walked with the dishes in the kitchen. "It's costing me a little to rent the hall, but the proceeds from the recital will pay for that."

"Thanks for dinner Dear," John said after a few minutes and she came back into the living room. He smiled as he watched her. He loved the way her reddish-brown curl fell in her face. It seemed to him as if she really was his daughter now. More and more, the life she had led in the past, whatever it had been meant nothing to him. More and more his guilt about his lie diminished. She was Laura Baker. She had always been Laura Baker and as far as he was concerned, she could be Laura Baker for ever.

"Thanks for coming John," she said, hugging him. "I don't know how I could have gotten through this year without you."

"I'm always here for you Laura," he said, returning the hug. "I'll be there Wednesday night," he said as he walked out the door.

_4:15 in the afternoon. 4:15—not 4:00, or 4:30, but 4:15. That was Francine Hayden's tea time. Rory pulled up into the Hayden's driveway and nervously checked her makeup in the mirror. She had brought out an outfit from the DAR days and looked as prim and proper as she had back then. She looked like…Mini Emily. She got out of the car and started walking towards the door, her hands shaking nervously. She had never even been to her other grandparent's house. This was so weird. She walked up to the doorway and rang the doorbell. _

"_Hello Rory!" the delighted voice of Grandma resounded in her head. "You're here…Richard they're here! …We have cookies—would you like cookies?" _

"_Come in," the maid said in a droll voice. "Mrs. Hayden is expecting you." She led her down a long hallway, the only sound being their footsteps echoing. The hall suddenly blossomed into a large room, with large ferns all over the room. Francine was sitting in the middle of the room, looking as tight faced as she had the first time Rory had met her. _

"_Rory, hello," Francine said smiling. She looked like she had sucked on a pickle when she smiled. Grandma's smile was so different. Granted, Grandma yelled and pouted and manipulated, but Grandma's smile lit up a room. She remembered back to when she was a little girl, outside the little apartment feeding the ducks and her mom had started crying. She couldn't have been six or seven years old at the time, but seeing her mother cry had broken her little heart and as she put her arms around her, she asked her what was wrong. _

"_I miss Grandma," she had said. It was then that Rory had asked why they didn't see Grandma and Grandpa a lot. It was then that Lorelai had first told her of growing up in the Gilmore house. _

"_So…what do you miss about Grandma?" she had asked her._

"_Her smile," Lorelai had said, then she pointed at the lake, where a thousand lights were shimmering in the water from the party across the lake. "See that? See the way the water looks like the stars went swimming? That's like Grandma's smile." _

"_Hello Mrs. Hayden," Rory said, stepping into the room. She extended her hand, but Francine turned her cheek towards Rory. Rory took the cue and bent down and kissed her cheek. It felt like kissing leather. _

"_Please, sit down," Francine gestured and Rory sat down. Francine snapped her fingers and a maid brought a cup and saucer for Rory. _

_The maid poured some tea, and Rory tried her best to smile as she sipped it. She had always hated tea—Grandma knew that. _

"_How is school?" Francine asked, and Rory suddenly felt uncomfortable being scrutinized under her dark brown eyes. "Your father tells me quite a lot about your accomplishments." _

_That made Rory smile, it made her feel good to think that Dad was bragging about her. "Yes, I'm the editor of the Yale Daily News. I'm enjoying that a lot. My grades are good, I'm still dating Logan Huntzberger," she replied. _

"_Oh yes, the Huntzbergers," Francine said smiling. "Good people, wonderful family." _

_Rory hoped the flushed feeling in her face didn't mean that she was turning red. The Huntzbergers were not nice people. Grandma knew that. Grandma stood up for her. Grandma had smacked down Shira's smug attitude. _

"_Yes, they certainly are," she said, trying to force the attitude out of her voice. _

_They continued sipping in silence for a few minutes and Rory was thinking how strange it was that she shared genes with this woman. _

"_I was so sorry to hear about Emily," Francine said suddenly and Rory swallowed hard. She didn't want to talk about Grandma to Francine. _

"_Thank you," she said and then mustered up her best fake smile. Again, they were sipping in silence and Rory wondered if Francine was nervous as well. Why had she even asked her here? _

"_Rory," Francine said suddenly as if on cue, "I asked you here to day because I realize that I am the only grandmother you have left." _

_No…No, we're not going to do this. Don't think for a second that you can take her place. Rory's face began to burn. _

"_I want to have a relationship with you Rory. I haven't been there for you in the past. I want to change that. A lot of the past had to do with Straub Rory. He was…embarrassed when Lorelai got pregnant." _

"_You young lady," Grandma's voice resounded in her head. "Your person and your existence have never ever been, not even for a second included in that list." _

"_That must have been difficult," Rory said, nervously shuffling in her seat. _

"_I know Straub was harsh when you met him," she said, "But he changed during the last months." _

_Harsh? The man barely acknowledged me before he tore into my mom because she had me. Her face felt like it was on fire. _

"_We're very proud of our Rory," Grandma's voice was there again. It was such a contrast between Straub's "I don't care how good a student you say that girl is." _

_Our Rory—Our Rory, I was their Rory, Grandma and Grandpa's Rory. _

_Her hand began to shake lightly, making a clinking sound against the tea cup. She pictured Grandma's face when she had yelled at her in front of everyone at the DAR party. She thought of how panicked Grandma must have been when she hadn't come home. She had felt so smothered in that house, she had needed to get out. When she was out on her own she started to change, started to come back to part of the Rory before Mitchum. And she had come running back to her mom, telling her she was so screwed up. But she had never run back to Grandma. She had been dragged back to Grandma. She put a hand to her forehead, trying not to cry, and smiled sadly back at Francine. _

"_Thank you Francine," she said. "That's very nice of you." _

"_Please…Sweetie," the word stumbled awkwardly off of her lips. "Call me Grandma." _

_Suddenly Rory wondered if she was in a dream, did Francine Hayden just call her Sweetie and did she dare to ask her to call her Grandma? Suddenly the tea cup clattered to the ground and the horrible tea sloshed on the carpet. _

"_Rory!" Francine stammered and called for the maid. "What is the matter with you?" she asked in a critical voice. _

"_I don't need you," Rory said, and strangely she laughed when she said it. "I used to think I did. I used to be jealous of Gigi because she was the grandchild you accepted. I was the bad seed, the one the evil girl gave birth to and ruined your precious plans. I used to think that if you would just look at me, and see me for who I was, that you would get to like me. Now—I'm twenty two years old and you think you can have a relationship with me now? Sorry…you're too late. I don't need you. I've never needed you, you know why? Because they never abandoned me—never. They were always proud of me and didn't look at me as someone who had ruined their lives. I had Mom, I had Grandma and Grandpa, and that was enough for me. So—go have a relationship with Gigi. Be her Grandma. Because I'll tell you one thing—you could never ever take the place of mine," she finished and started out of the room. _

"_Rory! Rory Gilmore! Come back here!" Francine stammered and Rory continued to walk. Suddenly she stopped straight at the door and stared above it. A security camera made a whirring noise and a red light shined across the hall. "Rory! Rory!" Francine hurried down the hall towards her. _

_Rory didn't hear her—she was staring at the camera. Why didn't she think of it before? The airport! The security cameras! She hurried out the door and got into her car. Throwing elegance and propriety to the wind, she screeched out the driveway and headed towards the airport. _

_She had to be sure. She had to know once and for all. _

_Three hours later, her credit card burning hot in her wallet, Rory sat on the plane and watched Hartford disappear. At the bidding of the stewardess, she switched her cell phone off fully realizing that very soon she'd have a basket case of a Mom, Dad, Luke, and Grandpa. _

_But she had to make sure. _


	9. The Recital

Disclaimer: This is an original story based upon the characters of Gilmore Girls. No copyright infringement is intended and no profit will be made from this story.

Author's Note: Thanks for the feedback on the last chapter. I appreciate it. One note on this story, I am a little unsure of what to do with Logan. He isn't a real essential part of the story and I have inferred that they are still together. (trust me, I know nothing you don't.) For the purposes of the story, he's…there. I hope you enjoy this next installment. I sure enjoyed writing it!

_For the first time in his life, Richard Gilmore felt like hitting a woman. Francine Hayden—tight faced, shrinking violet, Francine Hayden. He gripped the steering wheel so hard his knuckles were white. For two hours now he had been driving through Hartford, searching for his granddaughter and trying to fight off the nightmares. Luke was searching Stars Hollow and the surrounding areas. Christopher was searching Yale. Richard's heart was beating so hard, he could hardly breathe to enough get the oxygen circulating. It was happening again. It was all happening again. _

_Luke parked the truck on the side of the road and started walking, calling out Rory's name as he headed into the darkness. His hands shook, causing the flashlight to created shaking beams as he scanned the area. This was a place he knew well and thought that maybe; just maybe she would have come here. When she was seven, she had always loved to come to this park. It was a large park, with plenty of climb on stuff and a large field with huge trees and a stream in the middle. She would come here and put on plays with her friends, acting out melodramatic tragedies that their seven year old minds could muster. He remembered the first day she had invited him to one of those plays. It was that day, that he decided that maybe…just maybe he would someday like to be a father. "Rory!" he cried out suddenly, releasing his desperation and worry. _

_Lorelai stared out the window, and with one hand had a death grip on the curtains. When Chris had called her, telling her that the tea with Francine was a disaster (Who didn't see that coming?) Rory had left upset, (Um…duh!) and she wasn't picking up her cell phone, (Um…double duh!) she had told him that Rory needed some space. She was furious with Schniclefritz Hayden for suggesting that she could take Mom's place in Rory's life. She figured after an hour that Rory would call her. After the second hour, she figured Rory must really be upset. After the third hour, she had finally called Rory and found she had turned her cell phone off. She started to worry then, not so much about her daughter's safety, but about her stability. Where would Rory have gone? Why wasn't she picking up? When Paris had called the next morning, saying Rory hadn't come home—she started to panic. _

_For the fortieth time in the past twenty four hours, Christopher Hayden cursed himself for being so stupid. Why had he pushed the thing with Mom? He had known Rory was doing in for him, but he thought that maybe Mom would have been able Rory not to miss Emily so much. About 4:20, he had realized how stupid he had been. Bacteria had more warmth and compassion towards his oldest daughter than his mother had. Now Rory was gone. He had been a parent for half of his life, and had had no idea he could be this terrified. He had searched every inch of Yale, running in and out of buildings like a desperate man. The police were questioning people around campus. Where could she have gone? He got back into his car and headed to Stars Hollow, hoping that Rory would be there when he got there and wondering how he could ever face Lorelai again if she wasn't. _

_The police lights danced on the wall, as they all sat in the living room being debriefed by the police. Lorelai sat staring straight ahead, gripping onto Luke's shirt. Luke had his arms around Lorelai, his chin resting on the top of her head. Sookie was catering to everyone's needs. Christopher was pacing back and forth, wanting to punch a hole through the wall, and Richard stood silently staring out the window. The police were still searching, but due to the emotional state of the missing person at the last time she was seen, they had to consider…every option. The room was silent after the police left, each dealing with their own agony. _

"_I'm going out to look again," Christopher said, grabbing his jacket. Just as he was walking out the door, he heard Lorelai make a sound. He had not known the woman his entire life without being able to pick up on her sounds and what they meant. _

"_What is that supposed to mean?" he said, turning towards her. _

"_Excuse me?" she said, turning back towards him. _

"_You made the sound," _

"_What sound?" _

"_The 'I'm really mad at you but I'm not going to tell you because heaven help me if I actually say what I feel sound," _

"_You're insane," she spat back. "Go look for Rory," _

"_Lor, you got something to say to me, say it." _

_At that, Luke stood up. "Christopher, leave her alone," he said, his eyes narrowing. _

"_Here we go," Christopher retorted, "Luke the conquering hero is coming to the rescue. You going to tell me what a rotten dad I am Luke? You gonna tell me what a looser I am? That I failed Lorelai and I failed Rory and you were the big strong guy that was always there for them? Wanna tell me again?" _

"_Knock it off Christopher!" Lorelai shouted, "You want it, here it is. You should have never told her to go over there. She was only doing it for you!" _

"_I know that!" he said. "Don't you think I know that?" _

"_You were totally insensitive to her feelings!" _

"_That's not true!" _

"_Christopher," Luke said, in a voice that booked no questioning. "Get out of here." _

"_She's my daughter!" Christopher shot back. "Who do you think you are?" _

"_That's enough!" Richard suddenly roared from where he stood. "All of you, knock it off. Now!" he said and his eyes were fierce as he walked over to them. "This isn't going to get us anywhere." He grabbed his jacket and headed towards the door. "I'm going to look again," he said. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door and Richard threw it open. The policeman was standing there. _

"_We found Miss. Gilmore's car," he said and at the mention of Rory's car and no Rory, Lorelai covered her mouth with her hands. _

"_It was at the Hartford airport," the policeman said. We checked it out and it turns out she left yesterday on a flight to Los Angeles California." _

"_Los Angeles?" Lorelai cried out, "Why the…" _

"_Oh Dear God," Chris whispered, his face turning completely white. _

"_What!" Lorelai, Luke and Richard cried together. _

"_Oh Dear God," he said again, "She went back. She went back to see if she could find her! I'm so stupid!" _

"_Christopher I swear I will knock you silly if you don't tell me right now what is going on!" Lorelai cried. _

"_Lor," he started, "She didn't want me to tell you. She was afraid it would just upset you. The first day when we were in California, she thought she saw Emily in the airport. I tried to talk to her about it and I thought she was okay. I guess after meeting with my mom, she went back to look for her. She went back to try and find Emily." _

_Lorelai turned to the policeman, "We're on the next flight out," she said and grabbed her purse as the policeman nodded. _

"_Lorelai wait…" Richard said, reaching out for her. She turned back to face him and he took her arm and led her into the kitchen. _

_Lorelai looked up and it took her breath away to see the desperation in her father's eyes. "Daddy?" she prodded. _

"_Please," he said his voice thick and heavy. "Please let me go," he whispered. _

"_Dad…" she started to protest, but he reached out and caressed her cheek, "Please, let me go," he whispered desperately. He had to go and find Rory. He had to bring her home again. He needed to protect his family. _

…_An hour later, he was on a flight towards Los Angeles. _

"Ladies and Gentlemen," Laura said, as she stood up in front of the recital. "We'd like to welcome you to the recital of the students of Laura Baker. Thank you for coming," and as the applause started, she glanced over at John and Josie. She was glad they were there.

"For first number, we have Annabelle Petty playing "Walking in the Park on a Sunday afternoon."

Annabelle stood and nervously made her way over to the piano, giving a little curtsy before sitting down and beginning to play.

_Richard practically exploded into the terminal as soon as he was able to get off the plane. Scanning for Rory, he started running up the terminal. _

"_Are you Mr. Gilmore?" a security officer approached him. _

"_Yes…yes, I'm Richard Gilmore," he said breathing heavily. _

"_Sir, the police in Hartford called us and told us of your situation. Your granddaughter was here yesterday and was asking to see security camera footage. That is strictly against policy and when we told her that, she left. We haven't seen her since. We are told the LA police know of your situation. They are looking for your granddaughter right now. We'd like to offer you a complimentary rental car while you're here. Let us know if there is anything else we can do to help you," the guard said and then sensed that the man needed a moment alone. _

_Richard sat down on a bench, fear coursing through him like electricity. A large clap of thunder startled him and he heard the rain pour down—mocking him. "We are going to take Rory too!" the elements seemed to taunt at him. "We took your wife and now we are going to take Rory!" _

_He put his head in his hands for a moment, and then stood up and started towards the rental car booth. _

Laura nervously looked out the window at intermission and saw the rain coming down. Maybe she should cut the recital short, she thought. It was a long drive back to Bentley, and she didn't want to keep them if they were in the storm. Maybe she should cut her own piece. She walked back into the recital hall, ready to announce the second half of the program and that due to the storm, they would end with the last student's piece. Suddenly, she was seized with the most powerful lilac feeling she had ever had. It made her a little dizzy. For some reason, every thing in her was telling her not to cut that piece.

_He was a desperate man. The rain was coming down in sheets now and he could hardly see. He had done this all before…that horrible night when Emily had been late. He had gone out looking for her that night, searching almost until two in the morning until his cell phone had gone off. It was Luke. He needed to get to the hospital…immediately. His fear for Rory's safety and the sheer terror of reliving it all over again was paralyzing to him, but he willed himself to go on. He had no idea where to look now, he had checked in with the police and they were checking all the hotels. He aimlessly went up and down the streets, insanely thinking he would see her standing on a corner waiting for him. He turned down a street when suddenly the car sputtered and he could feel it was going to die on him. Cursing under his breath, he pulled over and tried to restart the car. With each sickening click, his desperation grew and his fury mounted. He got out of the car and stared up at the rain and thunder—the rain and thunder who were keeping everyone who didn't have missing granddaughters out of the streets. _

"_What do you want from me!" he shouted to the sky. "It's not enough that you took my wife, you want Rory too?" He was amazed at the rage that was coursing through him—towards the universe, towards God, towards whatever was taking his girls. He wanted to smash something, the way he had been smashed. But then the image of his granddaughter—the granddaughter who still needed him, flashed into his mind. Breathing heavily, he took out his cell phone to call the car company. He wasn't getting any reception. Pulling his lapels up to shield him from the rain, he started walking towards a light on the next street. _

"Thank you all so much for coming, and thank you to all my wonderful students. You are my pride and joy and I couldn't be more proud of all of you," Laura said as Jessica Hanely, the last student went back towards her seat. "Now," Laura said smiling, "It will be my privilege to play for you." She looked towards John who gave her a wink as she sat down and began to play.

"_Candlelight Recital Hall," the place was called and Richard felt a little apprehensive about going in, maybe there was some sort of production going on, but then decided that he needed to get to a phone right away and didn't have time to look for another place. He walked inside, shivering from the cold. The front hall was decorated beautifully, with a plush red carpet and large paintings on the walls. There appeared to be quite a few different concert halls, as he looked down the long hall. At the end of the hall, there was a sign for restrooms and a payphone—perfect. He hurried down the hall, embarrassed to be making such a mess from the rain. _

Suddenly, Laura's chest heaved and she started to get dizzy—her hands fell away from the piano and there was a general gasp in the audience. She felt she was suddenly gasping for air. She couldn't breathe. What was happening? She had never been nervous before? She tried to force her fingers back on the piano and kept playing.

_He was half way to the phone when he heard it. It was the song—his song. He stopped in his tracks, and remembered being there at her senior recital. She had stood up there in her ivory colored dress and said, "I would like to dedicate this song to the man who has won my heart. The love of my life—Richard Gilmore." It was the first time as a man that he had ever cried as he watched those slender fingers dance over the keys. He turned towards the music, unable to stay away. He opened the door to the recital hall…_

…_and all the blood rushed from his face. _

_He must have died and gone to Heaven. That's the only explanation that he could think of. She was there, playing the song, those same fingers dancing over the keys. If this was death, he was ready, if this was insanity, he gave himself up to it. He walked closer to the apparition of his wife, noticing the audience was staring at him. She didn't seem to notice him, she was lost in the music, but as he stepped closer, her fingers dropped from the piano and she turned towards him. _

"_Emily," he whispered. _

The pain in her chest returned and she stopped, realizing that the audience's eyes were not on her. She turned and saw a man approaching the stage. Her heart started to beat wildly as he walked towards her. She couldn't breathe. She was completely lost in that man's gaze. He opened his mouth and said, "Emily,"

_He hovered over her, so afraid to touch her, afraid that she would disappear like a soap bubble. "Emmy," he whispered, and then reached out and crushed her to him. She was real. She was as real as he was. "You're alive," he whispered. He started sobbing, "Oh God, Emily…I'm whole again." _

There was something in her that told her to wrap her arms around this man and let him hold her. She did not know who he was, but her heart was beating so fast, she knew it must be trying to tell her something. He was calling her Emily…_Emily. _

A loud crash startled them and she turned towards the audience. Josie Petty had fainted dead away, and John…

John was staring at her with a look of terror.


	10. Her Name is Emily

Disclaimer: This is an original story based upon the characters of Gilmore Girls. No profit will be made from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

Author's note: Thanks for the reviews. I'm glad the reunion met with your expectations. I hope you enjoy this next installment.

The audience was on dead silent, except for a few women trying to revive Josie who had fainted at the sight of the romantic reunion. The man held on to Laura, as if he was afraid to let go of her. Laura said nothing, just pressed her head against the big man's heaving chest and listened to his heart. Was this really happening? Was this someone from her past? She didn't know him from Adam, but he was holding her as if he would never let her go. Was he a lover? Was he…her husband?

"Excuse me?" she heard John's voice as he walked on the stage. He put his hands in his gray suit and narrowed his eyes. "Who are you?"

If the man heard him he gave no indication. He separated himself from Laura and looked at her with red eyes. Laura's eyes suddenly burned with her own tears as she saw the sadness, the absolute devastation that had existed in this man's eyes. He brought his hands up and cupped her face in them. She took a deep breath as his hands touched her.

"I asked you a question Sir," John said again, but again the man ignored him.

"Where have you been?" the man whispered, and the anguish in his voice took her breath away. "I thought you were dead. Emmy…I thought you were dead." He brushed her cheek with her thumb and her body tingled all over. She was completely speechless. The man started moving closer towards her, his head tilted, his eyes closing. She didn't know what to do.

"Who are you?" John said more forcefully, but the man kept coming towards her. Her heart was pounding so hard, she couldn't breathe. The man's lips brushed hers and sent shivers all through her body.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, and he stopped, looking up at her. She was shaking as she looked into his eyes. "I don't know who you are."

The man looked at her and the look in his eyes felt like a knife piercing through her. He slowly dropped his hands from her cheeks and just stared at her his large chest taking big gulps of air. She shook her head in desperation, "I'm so sorry."

"Who are you?" John asked again, and for the first time the man turned towards him.

"I am Richard Gilmore," he said and Laura's heart turned again as if doing wild jumping jacks trying to get her brains attention. "I am her husband"

"John," Laura whispered. "Please, send everyone home." John turned to address the crowd that was gossiping like crazy.

"I need to sit down," Laura whispered, and Richard put his strong arm around her and led her to a side of the stage.

"Sit here," he said. His voice was so gentle, so kind. She turned to look at him, trying so hard to remember him.

Richard stared into those eyes—those eyes that crinkled at the corners when she smiled, those eyes that when combined with the blue dress had made sure he had no other choice. He had looked into those eyes, clouded with pain and shining with joy the first time she placed their baby girl in his arms. He had never imagined he would look in her eyes again. But now…those eyes looked at him at he could see the confusion, the fog. She was lost inside herself. She didn't know him. He was relieved in a way, after the ecstasy of seeing her alive had worn off, his mind had began to plague him with worry. Where had she been this past year? Had she left him, content to go start a new life and let him think she was dead?

They heard footsteps and Richard turned. The man Emily had called John was behind them. Who was this man?

"Laura?" John asked, "Are you alright?"

Suddenly Richard felt angry at hearing his wife being called a different name, "Her name is Emily," he said sharply.

John felt the tight grip on his heart grow tighter and he knew that if he didn't play his cards right in the next few minutes, he would loose Laura forever.

"I'm sorry Sir, but how do we know you're who you say you are? How do we know your Laura's husband?"

Richard stood up and had to restrain himself from clobbering the old man.

"No! No wait!" Laura/Emily cried.

"There is no 'we' here," Richard said. "This is my wife, Emily Gilmore. She has been my wife for over forty years. This is between me and my wife."

If John was afraid of him, he certainly didn't show it. "Where are you from?" he asked.

"Hartford, Hartford Conneticut,"

"Sir, Ms. Baker was in a terrible accident, she lost her memory. She has been trying to start a new life and you are upsetting her. Ms. Baker was from Chicago Illinois. She had no family, we checked at the hospital.

"You don't have to tell me about her accident," Richard said, his voice raising. "Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave and stop upsetting Ms. Baker. You're obviously deranged." John said, obviously refusing to back down.

Richard turned back towards Laura, his eyes pleading with her. "Emily—the song, the song you just played, you played that song at your senior recital you dedicated it to me. I proposed to you at Yale when you were mad at me…remember? I handed you the box and said "Here"…you slammed it closed and said "Fine!" We were married in February and it was the most beautiful day I could have imagined. You carried a bouquet of lilies and orchids. You wore a tiara." He reached up and placed a shaking hand on his wife's cheek. "Emily…we made a baby together."

Laura drew in a sharp breath at that. Was he telling the truth? Was she really Emily Gilmore? Was she married to this man? Was she a mother?

"I'm so sorry," she whispered and her tears burned in her eyes. "I don't remember you,"

"Emmy," Richard pleaded, "Please, just trust me. I'm telling the truth," he searched her eyes for any trace of recognition, any at all and found none. Completely heartbroken, he turned and sat on the edge of the stage.

"I'm going to call the police," John said as he started off the stage.

"John stop," Laura said, "What if he is telling the truth?"

"Laura, this man is not your husband. He probably heard about your condition and is trying to take advantage of you."

Laura snorted, "Yes John, with all the millions of dollars that I have? What is he after? My china collection from the Goodwill?"

"Laura, this is not funny!" he protested.

"John, I can take care of myself," she said. "Go home. I'll call you when I get home tonight."

"Laura…"

"Go!" she said forcefully and was taken aback momentarily by the hurt in his eyes. He turned and headed out the door.

The room was quite as she turned towards the man called Richard Gilmore and walked towards him. His shoulders were stooped over, his face was old and haggard.

"Tell me what you're feeling," she said, sitting next to him and she knew what a stupid question it was.

"I've flown three thousand miles to find my granddaughter who ran away yesterday because she thought she saw her dead grandmother at the airport. I don't know where she is. I find out that she was right, I find my wife who I thought was dead and she doesn't know me. I have a daughter who is waiting at home scared to death she's going to loose another loved one. How do I feel? I feel old and tired."

"Richard…" she said and he turned towards her, his heart beating wildly at the sound of his wife calling his name for the first time in a year, "I'm so sorry," she said. "What can I do?"

He wanted to bury himself in her embrace, and have her pet his cheek with those soft hands. "Nothing" he whispered hoarsely and he felt as though his insides were being torn to shreds, "Nothing at all."

They sat in silence until it was broken by his cell phone ring.

_Please don't be Lorelai_

"Hello?" he answered.

"Mr. Gilmore? This is the LA police department. We found your granddaughter. She was staying at a local Motel 6. She's okay, we've got her down here right now at the station."

Richard was dizzy with relief. "Thank you, thank you so much," he replied. "I'll be right down." He clicked off his phone and turned towards his wife.

"I need a favor," he asked.

"Anything," she responded, "Anything I can do,"

"Our…my…our granddaughter is down at the police station. I need to go pick her up. My car is dead."

"Let's go," she said, pointing the way to her car. "Did you say she thought she saw…your wife at the airport?" she asked as they hurried outside.

"Yes," he said.

"When…about a week ago Saturday?"

"Yes," he replied again, turning towards her.

"I was there," she said. "I heard commotion but I left. I think she saw…me"

Richard nodded, as they got to her car. He held the door open for her out of habit and then slipped in the other side.

Rory Gilmore felt like she was three years old. She hated being there at the police station—gave her bad memories about the last time she was in a police station. She knew that she was in major trouble, and gave herself up to it this time. She would not try to protest with any "I'm twenty-two, I'm an adult" retorts. She had planned to call as soon as she had got to LA, but after they wouldn't let her see the tapes, she had been so stupid and heartbroken that she couldn't talk to anyone. She checked into a hotel, and had stayed there the night and most of the day, trying to get up the courage to call home and tell them were she was. She had known they would be frantic, but she just couldn't do it. Calling up would have made it final, she really hadn't seen Grandma. Grandma was dead, Francine was right, she was the only grandmother she had left. She reached up and twisted her finger in her locket chain, waiting for Grandpa to come.

Richard ran into the police station and searched around for a moment before he saw her. She stood up and he hurried over to her, pulling her to him, placing his hand on the back of her head. "Are you alright?" he whispered hoarsely, tears stinging in his eyes.

She nodded, "I'm so sorry Grandpa," she said. "I'm so sorry for scaring you." She felt safe for the first time in two days as she lay her head on his chest, listening to the rhythm of his heart. She looked up at him and he reached down and wiped a tear out of her eyes.

"I thought I saw Grandma," she said. "When we got here. I thought I saw her and I came back to make sure. I just miss her so much Grandpa," she cried, bursting into tears again.

The door opened slowly, and Richard turned his granddaughter towards it. He had wanted to go in first, so as to not to frighten or excite Rory right away. He also hoped that seeing Rory would jog Emily's memory.

Rory turned at the sound of the door and with one great sob she threw her arms around the woman standing there. "Grandma!" she cried out. "I knew it! I knew it! I knew it!"

Laura said nothing, just instinctively held the sobbing girl in her arms, reaching up and caressing the brown hair. After Rory was finished, she looked up and Laura gasped

_Audrey Hepburn. _

Rory looked at her grandmother's eyes and saw the confusion and knew about it quicker than Richard had.

"You don't know who I am…do you?" she asked.

Laura sadly shook her head, "I'm sorry."

Richard was sitting down and pulled out his cellphone.

"Hello?" came the nervous voice on the other line.

"Lorelai… I found Rory and she's just fine.

He took a long deep breath…

"Sweetheart…you need to sit down"


	11. Secrets and Surpises

Disclaimer: This is an original story based upon the characters of Gilmore Girls. No profit will be made from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Note: Thanks to all who read and reviewed the last chapter. It is always nice to get feedback. I hope you enjoy this next installment!

Luke and Christopher united for one brief moment in their terror at seeing Lorelai's face as she talked to Richard. She was completely white, and her hands were shaking.

"Can I talk to her?" she whispered into the phone, "Okay…yeah, you're right. Okay, I'll talk to you tomorrow. Okay…I love you too Dad," she hung up the phone and putting her face in her hands, starting sobbing.

"What is it? What's wrong?" Christopher and Luke cried together. "Is it Rory?" Lorelai said nothing just buried her head in Luke's shoulder and grabbed onto a piece of his flannel shirt.

"Lor!" Christopher cried out again, "What's happening—tell me!"

"Rory's okay," she finally said between choking sobs. "Dad found her, she's okay…" she was taking in big gulps of air trying to get a hold of herself.

"Baby," Luke said, smoothing his hand over her hair, "What's wrong?"

Lorelai finally managed to get composure and lifted her head. "Mom…Rory was right…she did see Mom…She's alive," she said, and started to cry again. Luke held onto Lorelai as she buried her head back in his embrace and even Christopher and Luke were able to put aside their differences as Christopher leaned forward and put a hand on Lorelai's shoulder. She continued to sob against Luke's shoulder, not coherent of anything except that her mother was alive. She had never imagined how much it would hurt to be motherless. For most of her life she had regarded her mother as her greatest trial. When she had woken up in that ICU bed she had forgotten what the rescuers had told her at the scene, she had only remembered driving with her mother and assumed they had gotten in a car accident. She had looked all around for her mother, with Rory telling her to lie back, Luke saying nothing, just holding tight to her hand. It was when she looked at her father that she had stopped breathing. Her father, with red swollen eyes had come to the side of her bed and as if she was three years old, had explained to her that her mother was dead.

For a year she had tried to be so strong, to be the woman her mother had raised. She tried to take care of her dad, of Rory, and of Luke. As time went on her grief and guilt had released some of their hold on her, she still lay awake at night trying to picture her mother's face, etching every detail in her memory because one of the deepest fears now was forgetting that face…forgetting that smile. Once she had been walking downtown in New York City and had smelled her mother's perfume. She had followed the scent for a mile. When she and Sookie had gone wedding shopping for the second time, she had looked for hours trying to find the perfect dress. She had returned the first one, and wanted to find another one as a symbol that this wedding would actually happen. She searched through store after store until she had realized that the perfect dress was not going to be found in any store, but lovingly wrapped in paper, sitting in a cedar chest with a mother's hopes and dreams attached to it. A dream long ago forgotten—of seeing her daughter in that dress.

For a year she had been motherless, for a year there had been a hole in her heart, for a year she had had dreams—dreams of her mother drowning in the black churning waters. And for a year, when she had woken up from those dreams, she had bit down on her pillow so as not to wake Luke and dealt with the guilt, the guilt that only haunted her at night now, but haunted her none the less—that she had been the one to live while her mother had died. Now she was sobbing uncontrollably…her mother was alive, her mother had lost her memory and couldn't remember who any of her family was, but she was alive. All Lorelai knew, all Lorelai cared about was that. She had a mommy again. She had wanted to talk to her, wanted to hear her voice, but Dad had thought it best to wait. In one night, Laura Baker (where had that name come from?) had not only found out she had a family, but had met two members of it out of the blue. It had been a long night. Richard had promised he would call back in the morning. It was probably best anyway. In the past day Lorelai had lost her daughter, got her back, found out that her mother was alive, and that her mother didn't have the slightest idea who she was.

Richard clicked off the phone and looked up at his wife and granddaughter. Rory was sitting down, still trying to digest the news, and poor Emily looked so confused.

"Is she alright?" she said, nodding to the phone.

"Yes, she's fine," Richard said, "She wanted to talk to you, but I thought it best to wait until tomorrow. It's been a long night for both of you."

Laura nodded, it had been a long night. There was a part of her that wanted to be home now, celebrating with the carton of Ben and Jerry's she had picked up earlier to reward herself with after the recital was over. She wanted to go to bed in her own bed, wake up the next morning and teach her lessons. She wanted to have Sunday dinner with John. She wanted to keep being Laura Baker. For so long she had dreamed of the moment when a family would come and find her and tell her of her past. Now that they had, she felt tired, scared, confused, and every time she looked into her "husband's" eyes, she saw the pain she was causing him and it killed her.

"What did you say her name was?" she asked, quietly nodding again to the phone. Richard looked up at her and swallowed hard, "Lorelai," he said.

"That's a lovely name," Laura said smiling.

In spite of the seriousness of the moment, Richard chuckled.

"What?" Laura asked.

"You didn't think it was a lovely name when we picked it. You didn't want the name Lorelai. She was named after my mother. You two didn't get along very well."

Laura didn't want to digest any more news tonight. She didn't want to get into her mother-in-law relations.

"You wanted to name her after your mother, Rebecca" Richard said, smiling slightly up at her, "But I won out. And you had two Lorelais in your life."

"Make that three," Rory said smiling from the bench, trying to lighten the mood. Laura turned towards her and Richard smiled and gestured, "Our third Lorelai," he said proudly.

Laura smiled and turned back to Richard. "It's getting late," she said. "Why don't you come home with me tonight and we can talk more tomorrow."

Richard clenched his fist to keep from touching his wife, feeling her soft skin, taking her in his arms and kissing her like there was no tomorrow.

"Oh…no," he said smiling as she was a business associate who had invited him to stay during an out of town trip. "Rory and I will just get a hotel. Give me directions to your house and we'll come see you in the morning."

She looked at him again, trying so hard to see through the fog in her brain. "Richard, please…I have two very nice guest rooms."

The suggestion of staying in a guest room with his wife sleeping in the next room over was too much for the poor man, and he felt like the knife was being twisted further into his heart. "We'll be fine," he said, crossing over to Rory and putting his hands on her shoulders. "Really Emily…we'll be fine. I'll see you in the morning," he said.

She ended up giving them a ride to the nearest hotel, and as he got out of the car, he smiled at her through his own pain. "I know how difficult this is for you Emily. I can't imagine how you must be feeling."

"Thank you Richard," she said, so wanting to give him comfort, so wanting to remember him. She watched as he put one arm around his…no their sleepy granddaughter to lead her inside. He seemed like such a gentle sweet man.

The ride back to Bentley seemed to both take a year and a few minutes. She was not surprised to see John's car parked in the driveway and see the light in the living room on. She had given John a key in case of emergencies, and obviously he had thought her being three hours late getting home was an emergency. She pulled into the driveway and took a deep breath to steady herself. Slowly she got out of the car and walked up the walkway. John opened the door and his face was a mixture of worry, relief and anger.

"Where have you been?" he asked. "Are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine," she replied.

"I've been worried sick," he said, "I thought he had mugged you or raped you!"

"John, stop it!" Laura said, her eyes suddenly flaring. "He's my husband."

"We don't know that Laura!" John said, trying to cover the fear he felt as she said the words for the first time. He looked out the window, "So…you didn't bring him home with you?"

She turned on him, the exhaustion and confusion taking control, "John…stop treating me as if I am a sixteen year old child bringing home a date! I'm tired, I'm very scared, and I don't know what to do! Just leave me alone!" she cried.

"Sweetie," John said moving towards her, "We can get through this together. We've always gotten through things together."

It was then that something in Laura snapped and she threw up her hands in desperation, "Oh for the love of God, John I'm not her!" she cried and John took back a few steps in surprise and hurt. "When you look at me…" she started, "Is that all you see? A replacement for Marjorie? Have you ever once…just once looked at me as me? Whether or not I am Emily Gilmore, whether or not that man is my husband, I know one thing…I am not Marjorie and I refuse to try and be her a minute longer!"

She stopped and saw the terrible hurt she had caused in John's eyes. She was so tired of seeing hurt in people's eyes that she put there. "John," she sighed, "You've been like a father to me, the only father that I know really. Was all of that…all of that because you wanted somebody to replace Marjorie?"

"No, No Laura it wasn't," he said, moving towards her and putting his arms around her. "I love you Laura," he said. "I love you." He figured everything would be okay now. Richard Gilmore and the past he brought with him would simply disappear. They just had to. He separated himself from Laura and was taken aback by the look in her eyes. He took a sharp breath…he knew exactly what was coming next.

"You lied to me…didn't you?" she said, her eyes cold but sad.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"About Chicago, you lied. I am from Hartford aren't I," she said, her voice so cold, so different then the warm happy Laura he knew.

He couldn't keep up the illusion any longer. Laura Baker was not his to keep. Just as before, when he had finally realized that there was no hope to save his girls, he gave up. "Yeah, yeah Sweetie, you are."

She turned and sat down on the couch. "So you just let me think that I was from Chicago, knowing that there wasn't a chance then that I would find out who I really am?"

He sat down next to her and she moved away from him. "Laura," he said. "You have been the light of my life this last year. You've been like a daughter to me and I haven't felt that in such a long time. I was selfish, I didn't want to give that up. I didn't want to loose you too, like I lost Marjorie and Anna. I couldn't go through that again. You have no idea how much that hurt."

She wanted to hug him, to kiss him on the cheek and tell him it was okay, but she couldn't. She was furious. "I don't know how much that hurts huh…?" she said sarcastically. "No, I couldn't possibly have any idea what it's like to loose someone. I've just had a dandy year trying to rebuild my life because I can't remember who I am!" she yelled and stood up, "What about that man John? What about Richard Gilmore? For a year that man has thought I was dead! Did you see the look in his face tonight? What about him? I have a kid John…did you know that? Her name is Lorelai. I have a granddaughter too. What about them? What if the situation was reversed John? What if you thought Marjorie and Anna were the ones that were dead and all this time they had been living on the other side of the world because some guy was too selfish to tell them the truth!"

"Marjorie and Anna ARE dead!" John cried, standing up to meet her. "I'm sorry, I know it was wrong, but I was scared and lonely and I needed someone to take care of. I needed to feel needed again!"

"That's great John, that's just great. I just found out tonight that I have a whole other life and family. Three people's lives were changed because they thought I was dead. But you feel needed. That's just wonderful. So glad I could be of service!"

"Laura, stop it," he said. "I was trying to help you,"

"Help me?" she snorted sarcastically, "So, when you took me to the hospital, and talked to the police, and made every effort to try and locate my family, you were helping me."

He stared at her, his mouth open, tears stinging in his eyes. "My wife and daughter died in a hospital. I sent them there to die. I couldn't do that to you. I couldn't take you to the hospital. I had to take care of you myself."

Laura drew in a sharp breath and walked over to the door. "Get out," she said calmly, but her words burned like acid. John slowly walked towards the door. "Goodbye Laura," he said and walked to his car. Laura went into her room, shut the door and fell on her bed crying.

Richard and Rory rented a car the next morning and drove out to Bentley. As they were driving through the streets, Rory was amazed at how much it resembled Stars Hollow. She thought it was funny that her grandma had lived for a long time in a "hick" town.

"I think this is it," Richard said, pulling up along side of a small white house. "Are you ready for this?" he asked.

Rory nodded and they both got out of the car. They were walking up to the front porch when Emily walked outside.

"Hello," she said.

"Hello," Richard answered back.

"I didn't sleep at all last night," she said,

"That makes two of us," he answered back, "Emily…what are we going to do?"

Laura took a long breath and wished she could say this without seeing the pain in his eyes. "Richard," she said. "Go back to Hartford,"

Richard narrowed his eyes at her, "What do you mean?" he asked.

"Try as I might, I can't remember you," she whispered. "I can't be someone I don't remember being."

Richard felt he was being wrung out like a dishtowel.

"Grandma! Wait!" Rory cried out.

"Rory go wait in the car," Richard commanded and Rory turned and looked at her grandmother before obeying. Once she was in the car, Richard turned back towards his wife. "What are you saying?" he asked. He seemed to be hemorrhaging hurt and pain and it killed her to watch.

"I'm not saying not ever, but I can't come back right now. I need time to work this through and I have to do it alone."

"Emily…no you don't. I'm here, I'll help you. You need to remember who you really are, you need your family around you. You need to go home."

"Richard, as long as I can't remember being Emily Gilmore than I don't belong in Emily Gilmore's world. I belong in Laura Baker's."

Suddenly Richard felt his blood boiling, "Does this have something to do with that man last night? Who is he Emily?"

"Don't raise your voice to me," she said, as if suddenly she had decided to start acting like she had been married for forty years. "This has nothing to do with John. He's like a father to me. That's all. This is me Richard. I can't do this."

Richard took in a sharp breath and turned towards his granddaughter who was staring at them both with tear filled eyes. "Please Emily," he pleaded. "Let us help you."

Laura swallowed as tears burned in her eyes. "Richard, you have a life in Connecticut, you have a job, and a daughter to be there for. I have a life here too. I've got to live it in the only way I know how. What if I never remember Richard? What then?"

"We'll deal with that as it comes," he said, putting an emphasis on the "we"

"Richard please…go back to Hartford. Let's start talking over the phone, and maybe a visit every once in awhile. Please…it's what I want."

Richard's shoulders sagged and completely defeated, he turned back to the car. "I'll call you," he said softly and walked towards the car. Every step he took away from his beloved wife and towards his crying grandchild filled him with more and more pain. He said nothing as he got in the car and listened to the sounds of Rory crying out, "No! We can't leave without her!" as he drove away.

Author's Note: Okay—please don't shoot me. Happy days will be here again! I promise!


	12. The Decision

Disclaimer: This is an original story based upon the characters of Gilmore Girls. No profit will be made from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Note: Thanks to all who reviewed the last chapter. I figured that after that ending, I needed to update as soon as possible today. I won't give anything away but I hope you enjoy this next installment. One little thing, in the previous chapters I have used italics to distinguish between Richard's world and Emily/Laura's world. This chapter that won't work because I need the italics for flashbacks. Also, the worlds are merged now, even though they are far apart. So, just know that when you see italics it's flashbacks, not a shift in viewpoints. Anyway…on to the show

The window in Richard's office overlooked the city and on a clear blue day he could see most of Hartford. He sat there in his desk looking over the city. It had been a week since he had returned to Hartford. He and his wife had talked once on the phone, to let her know they returned safely and that had been it. What had Emily been thinking? How could she have sent him away? She had said she didn't belong in Emily Gilmore's world because she couldn't remember Emily Gilmore. How in Heaven's name was she supposed to remember being Emily Gilmore if she was three thousand miles away from everything she had ever known? He rubbed his tired eyes and turned back to his work. It was all he had to keep him from thinking about Emily. He opened the first claim he had to go over and started to read…

"_Here we are," he said, leading the young woman into the massive building. _

"_My goodness, this is incredible," Emily Hansen said trying to take in everything at once. _

"_Look over here," he said and brought her over to a huge oil portrait that stretched to the ceiling. He glanced over at her to be sure she was watching and then he frowned at the painting as if it were merely a child's scribbling, stepped back as if he was studying it carefully, wrinkled his forehead and shook his head as if he were the authority on paintings and then sighed. _

"_Let me tell you about the paintings in Paris Emily," he said as ushered her along. They walked along, and after awhile his hand innocently found his way over to hers. She looked away-- embarrassed for a moment and then she curled those delicate fingers around his hand. He felt on top of the world. They continued to look at the paintings and at each one he would do the frown, step back, wrinkle and sigh. Finally, after they had examined Whistler's Mother, she pulled him towards an empty hallway where they were out of the way. _

"_Emily," he had said. "I still need to show you the DaVinci room." She put a hand over his mouth and smiled, "Just shut up and kiss me Stupid," she whispered. He needed no further prompting. Taking her in his arms, and putting a hand on the side of her face, he kissed her and felt as though it was his first time ever kissing a woman. He brought up a hand to her long silky hair and she placed a hand on the side of his face as well. They finally broke the kiss, wonderfully out of breath. _

"_Any commentary on that Mr. Gilmore?" she whispered. _

"Mr. Gilmore?" a voice sounded removing him from his thoughts. "Mr. Gilmore," It was Karen. "They're ready for you," she said from the door of his office, and her eyes were narrowed in concern.

"Thank you Karen," he said, standing up and straightening his tie. "I'll be right there." Karen smiled and nodded and Richard walked out of the room and headed down the hall.

"_You are a spineless jellyfish!" she yelled as she sat down on the bench. _

"_Emily! If you'll just listen to me for one moment!" _

"_No! I don't want to listen to you anymore! Get away from me!" _

"_You are the most impossible woman I have ever met!" _

"_Just go away!" _

_Richard threw up his hands in frustration and then stuffed his hands in his pockets and grabbed the little black velvet box. "Here!" he yelled, thrusting the box into her hand. She opened up the box, took one look at the sparkling diamond, slammed the box closed and yelled, "Fine!" _

"_You are impossible!" Richard yelled back, "You are stubborn and willful, and you never listen to…" he stopped and stared wide eyed at her. "Did you just say yes?" _

_The realization of what was happening suddenly struck her as well, "Did you just propose to me?" she whispered looking up at him. _

"_Yes…that's why I wasn't committing; I was going to ask you to marry me." _

"_Then…I am saying yes," she said smiling and tears pooled in her eyes. He sat down on the bench next to her and brushed her cheek with his knuckles. _

"_Oh Richard," she breathed, "Is this really happening?" _

"_Yes," he replied. "It is…I love you Emily," _

"_Oh Richard…why me? You could have any woman, you could have Linny Lott. Why me?" _

_He brought reached up and brushed a tear out of her eyes. "I want you," he said. "That's all I want is you," he leaned forward and kissed her, with all the love and passion he felt in his heart. She continued to utter helpless protests as she gasped for air but Richard heard none of them. _

"_Darling…you have so much to do, so far to go, you have more to be, would I only hold you back? You're a Gilmore, that's who you are, you have so much to accomplish." He parted from her and looked into her eyes, "I am the man who is in love with you Emily Hansen, and that is all I am." _

"Richard…Richard, would you like to join us?" Floyd was talking to him. He shook his head as we woke up to reality. "Yes…yes of course, I'm sorry. Please continue." Floyd looked at him with annoyance and turned back to the board. "Now, let's continue. As you know, Jack Hillard just found out his wife is going to have a baby. We wish him congratulations."

"_Richard, there's something I need to tell you," Emily said, coming down the stairs, "Can you come here for a minute?" _

"_Yes, I'll be right there Dear," he said, bent over his paper work. He had hardly noticed that an hour had gone by before she poked her head in again, "Richard, I really need to tell you something…please." _

"_Yes Emily, I'm coming," he said, still going over columns of numbers. He continued to work the figures when the phone rang. _

"_Yes? Yes of course, I'll right down," he replied and hurried out the door. This was it, the big meeting. They were going to land this account! _

"_Richard? Richard where are you going?" Emily cried as he came out. "I really need to talk to you!" _

"_I'm sorry Darling, big meeting can't be helped. Talk to me about it later okay?" he said, brushing her lips with a quick kiss. _

_They were forty-five minutes into the meeting and tempers were high. Richard put his hands together and watched the game players, his mind totally engrossed in capturing his latest conquest. Suddenly, he looked up and to his horror, his wife was waving at him, trying to get his attention. _

"_Are you alright?" he mouthed, trying to not draw attention to himself. _

"_I need to talk to you right now!" she mouthed back and if she had been actually speaking it would have been a yell. _

"_Go home," he mouthed back. "This can wait," _

"_No, it can't" she replied. _

"_Go home!" his eyes grew wider. _

_She glared at him and then he saw her walking over to the secretary's desk. She demanded a piece of poster board and a black marker, walked back over to the window and started writing. Richard wanted to crawl under his seat and die. Finally she finished and by this time there were a few men who had picked up the fact that something was going on. They turned towards the window to watch. Emily took up the poster board and placed it against the window. _

"_I'M HAVING A BABY YOU IDIOT!" _

_Richard leaned back as if the message had come out to slap him and fell over backwards in his chair. After the crash, he stood up and tried to look as dignified as possible. Everyone was staring at him now. He hurried out the door. _

"_You're what?" he asked once he and Emily were alone. _

"_You…Me… make a baby… growing inside here," she said, pointing to her abdomen. Richard stared at her. He wanted to kiss her, he wanted to laugh, he wanted to cry. _

"_Emmy," he whispered, and then suddenly her eyes were filled with tears. "Are you happy Richard?" she asked. _

"_The happiest man in the world," he said, scooping her into his arms and kissing her. Both of them didn't care if the entire corporation was watching. _

"And what are your thoughts Richard?" Floyd asked.

"What? Excuse me I wasn't paying attention," Richard stammered. Floyd was glaring at him. "Yes, I know."

"Please…go on," Richard nodded.

"Alright," Floyd said slowly, "Richard, I think you're the man for the job to go to Italy for two weeks to meet with the board of directors there. It will be very important that you give them the specific deals of the contract and when you come home…"

"_Come home," she said. Two words and it had more effect on him than any two words she had ever said to him. Home…Home! In all reality he had never left his "home" He had been in the pool house the whole time. But home was this house, home was his own bed, and more than anything, home was his wife. Home was her smile, her laugh, her scent, her kiss. _

"_Are you sure?" he asked her, not daring to hope. _

"_Yes," she said, and then her face crumpled and in two steps he was to her, taking her in his arms, crushing her to him like a desperate man who had gone five months with out food…water…air. _

"_Richard, I'm so sorry," she cried, "I'm so sorry," _

"_No…No, Emmy it was all my fault. I'm sorry," he reached up and placed cupped her face in his hands. _

"_I love you Emily," he said, kissing her warm sweet face. How had he survived the last months?_

"_I love you too Richard," she breathed and then simultaneously, both of them took a deep breath and plunged into a long hard kiss as if they were trying to make up for the time they had missed. They broke the kiss breathing heavily and he wrapped his arm around her and they walked into the living room. Once there, he built a fire—something he hadn't done by himself since they were first married, and together they sat together, her head on his chest, his head resting on her head. They talked of Jason and the lawsuit, of the months before their separation, his mother's death, and it seemed as though they hadn't talked in years. After they were done, Emily stood up and offered him her hand. Together they walked upstairs to the bedroom that was once again "theirs." _

_He stopped her right before they started upstairs and she looked up at him. "I can't ever lose you again Emily," he whispered. She smiled, and it lit up the world. _

"_You won't have to," she replied. "Not ever," _

"Richard, can I talk to you outside please?" Floyd's voice was harsh. Richard was startled, "What? Oh yes, outside…that is an excellent idea," he said and followed Floyd outside.

"Richard, what is going…"

"Floyd, I'm going to need to take some time off," Richard cut him off

"What?"

"Time off, I'm going to need to take some," he said again.

"How long?" Floyd asked.

"I have no idea," Richard said, shrugging. "Maybe a couple of weeks, maybe a couple of months."

"Richard, look…I know this past year has been a difficult one, but…"

"Floyd, I really am pressed for time here, so if you could make up your mind, that would be really nice."

"What if I say no?" Floyd challenged.

"Then I'll have to quit," Richard said. He felt surprisingly calm. For the first time since he had first seen Emily, he knew what he needed to do.

"Are you threatening me Richard?" Floyd asked.

"Tell you what Floyd, I have to go catch a plane. I'll be back when I can. You decide. I have time off, or I quit," he said and with that, he started down the hall.

Five hours later, his bags were packed, and he stood at the bottom of the escalator, looking into his daughter's eyes.

"You're doing the right thing," she said, smiling up at him. He hugged her to him. "I wish you were going with me," he confided.

She reached up and kissed his cheek. "I'll come out and visit. As soon as she's ready," she said smiling. "I'm gonna miss you Daddy," she said smiling. "Take care of yourself,"

"I'll be back in time for the wedding," he said. "I wouldn't miss it for the world."

She nodded, "I'll save an arm for you…but just in case I'll have Taylor and his blue tux standing by." He chuckled and putting cupping her face in his hands and bringing her forehead to his, he whispered, "I love you Lorelai,"

"I love you too Dad," she said. "Bring her home with you,"

"So, Bob is watching the kids tonight?" Laura asked as she took the pizza out of the oven and placed it on a rack to cool. "Are you sure this is okay?" she asked Josie.

"Yes Mam," she replied, "Bob is watching the kids, and you and I have a pizza, a batch of cinnabon popcorn and a fresh box of powdered sugar delights from my friends at Hostess,"

"You're pathetic," Laura said smiling as she carried sliced the pizza. "But I'm glad you're here," she added after a beat and Josie smiled.

"So…" she said letting the "o" drag on.

"So, what?" Laura prodded knowing full well what was coming next.

"Did you talk to him today?" Josie asked.

"No," she said, and went back to cutting the pizza.

"Don't be mad," Josie pleaded.

"I'm not mad,"

"Yes you are,"

"How do you know?"

"You're doing that thing with your lips where you press them together and it makes you look like an old grandma."

"Well, apparently I am one," Laura said sarcastically.

"Stay on topic please," Josie directed, "Let's talk about the husband first. Why haven't you called him?"

"Because I haven't," Laura responded. "I don't want to,"

"Laura," Josie prodded, "He's your husband,"

Laura blew out a long sigh and said, "He's not my husband, he's Emily Gilmore's husband. I can't remember being Emily Gilmore,"

"So you just shut him out?" Josie said. "You won't have anything to do with him until you remember so you shut him out? What if he's the one person that could help you remember? Don't you want that anymore?"

"But what if I can't?" Laura said, "What if I can't ever remember. What then? Am I always going to be living in the shadow of Emily Gilmore?"

"Whoa," Josie said, "Major epiphany here, spill it lady, how much does this have to do with John?"

Laura felt cold at the mention of his name. "Nothing," she said, opening the popcorn and putting it in the microwave.

"Lie," Josie said immediately.

"Okay, it probably has a lot to do with John. John was like a father to me. I depended on him, and it feels like all this time I've been living in the shadow of Marjorie. Marjorie was the real daughter, I was just the replacement. I didn't want to do that again. I didn't want to keep living in the shadow of someone else."

"But Sweetie," Josie said gently, "You are the genuine article this time. You are the real wife."

"Whose side are you on anyway?" Laura asked, putting her hand on her hips.

"No sides here Honey, no sides at all. But I am here for you. I am Rosie O' Donnell to your Meg Ryan. I am Joan Cusak to your Julia Roberts."

"You are crazy," Laura said smiling.

"Tell me you haven't thought about him," Josie said. "Tell me that there isn't one shred of feeling for Richard Gilmore in Laura Baker's heart."

Laura suddenly blushed and looked down at the floor. "It doesn't matter, I sent him away," she said.

The doorbell rang, and Josie got up from the table. "I'll get it," she said as she walked towards the door.

Richard's hands were shaking. He hadn't felt this nervous since his first date. The door opened and a woman was standing there. He recognized her as the one that had fainted at the reception.

"Hello, I'm Richard…"

"Laura! It's for you!" the woman cried out.

Richard took a sharp breath as his wife came around the corner. She was dressed in jeans and a blouse and she looked absolutely beautiful.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"Can we talk outside?" he asked.

"Certainly," she said and gestured him out on the porch. Once outside, he pulled a rose from behind his back and handed it to her.

"I rented an apartment," he said. "Down the street,"

"What?"

"I rented an apartment. I moved here today."

"What about your job?" she asked.

"I was going to take some time off. I was ready to quit Emily, but then they told me I could do some work down here in LA."

"What about Lorelai?"

"Lorelai is a big girl. She can take care of herself."

"Richard, I just…"

He reached out two fingers and put them over her lips. "Emily, I know you're going to need some time. I respect that. But I refuse to leave you alone. I'm going to be here. I'm going to help you. We are going to get through this together."

"But Richard," she said, the old fear coming back to her, "What if I never remember?"

Richard smiled at her, such a sweet and gentle smile. "Then I will spend the rest of my life in love with Laura Baker."

"Richard, " she shook her head, "You've sacrificed so much…and I don't…I don't even know who you are."

He reached down and took her hand. "I am the man who is in love with you," he said. "And that is all I am."


	13. Start at the Beginning

Disclaimer: This is an original story based upon the characters of Gilmore Girls. No copyright infringement is intended and no profit will be made from this story.

Author's Note: Thank you all for the feedback left on the last chapter. I thought you might like it better than the previous one. I have been known in my writing to border on the maudlin side, so that is something I am trying to watch. If I get too sappy or sentimental, please—let me know. I hope you enjoy this next installment.

Laura Baker was the most nervous she could ever remember being. Her closet didn't have a single thing left in it; it was all thrown in piles on her bed. She picked up her nicest dress, the black silk one she wore to piano recitals. She put it up against her in the mirror and then threw it down again. It was all wrong—all of them. She glanced down at the clock—fifteen minutes, he was going to be there in fifteen minutes! She picked up the black dress again—no, they were going to spend the day together, not go to the prom. She threw up her hands in disgust and plopped down in her bed. What was she doing? All of her clothes were totally in appropriate. After spending five minutes with Richard Gilmore she had known that he…no they, had money. The night he had shown up on her doorstep, he was dressed in a classy suit with a bow tie and a classy overcoat. All of her clothes made her look exactly like what she was—a dowdy piano teacher who shopped for clothes at Wal-Mart.

Finally, after taking some deep breaths, she decided on a white blouse and tan slacks. She curled her hair, and put on her make-up, and just as she was putting on her lip stick, the doorbell rang. She quickly checked herself over in the mirror and then went to answer it. She was relieved to see he had gone casual as well, a green shirt with a jacket and some tan slacks.

"Hi," he said smiling. She hadn't seen him smile much in the first twenty-four hours after they had met again for the first time. Now, she was beginning to feel surprised how that smile could make her go weak in the knees.

"Hi" she replied, shyly retreating a little behind the door.

"You look lovely," he said, grinning and he really meant it. There had been many times over the past forty years when his wife had asked him how she looked and he would nod, not taking his nose out of the paper and say, "You look beautiful Dear." He hadn't been lying, he had always thought his wife was beautiful, but so many times as his mind got cluttered with other things, he had never stopped to look at her, really look at her. During those long hours in the hospital, when his daughter was finally safe and the realization that his wife was gone had hit him, he thought how much he would pay just to see her face again, just to look into her eyes, kiss her gentle lips, watch her as she brushed her hair at night. What earthly possession did he have that he would not give up in a second just to say to his wife when she came in and asked him how she looked that she was the most beautiful woman in the entire world.

"Thank you Richard," she said, bringing him out of his thoughts, "Come in," she added and opened the door wider.

"How much time do you have?" she asked, and he shrugged, "The whole day, my office isn't ready yet here, and I told them I was taking the whole day off for very important business. I am yours all day, what do you want to do?"

"Well, I have piano students from about ten o'clock until noon, and two until four, then I was wondering if you wanted me to cook dinner for you."

If his wife had just asked him if he wanted her to get a tattoo and go bar hopping, he couldn't have been more surprised.

"Richard?" Laura prodded, "I don't have to cook dinner, we can go out."

"No," he shook his head, "No, dinner sounds great. I just…well, you just didn't cook much…back home."

"Really?" she asked. "Not at all?"

"Yeah, you could say that," Richard chuckled.

"Who cooked? You?"

That made him laugh out loud. It was the first time he had laughed since she had met him and somehow that laugh—deep and throaty, seemed like the most wonderful sound in the world.

"Our cook usually made dinner," he said. Laura stared wide eyed at him, "We had a cook?"

"Yes, a cook and a maid," he said.

"You're kidding!" she said incredulously.

"No, I'm not. A cook and a maid."

"What did I do all day? Did I have a job?"

"No, but you were on a dozen boards, you did a lot of charity work, you were the president of the DAR."

"What in Heaven's Name is the DAR?"

Richard chuckled again, "The Daughters of the American Revolution."

"Oh now, you are kidding!" she said. "There's a chapter of that here in Bentley. They're all old women who have DAR meetings on Tuesday nights and play bingo at Wal-mart Wednesday morning."

"Well, as a matter of fact, you are the president of your chapter, Emily and there is young blood still in the group. Rory is a member in fact."

"Rory? Your…I mean…our Rory?"

"Yes,"

"Why would Rory join the DAR?"

Richard sighed and then turned towards her. "Emily, I would love for you to cook dinner tonight," he said smiling.

Laura took that as a hint and knew that she was probably asking too much too soon for her own good. "Well, that will be fine," she said. "I need to run to the store this morning before my first student gets here."

At that Richard chuckled again.

She turned towards him and almost instinctively she backhanded him playfully in the stomach. "Don't tell me I didn't even do my own grocery shopping!" she said.

"Um no," he said truthfully as she moved to get her jacket.

"Well come on, Mr. Gilmore, you are in for an experience of a lifetime."

He moved towards her and took her coat to help her on with it. He was wearing a cologne that smelled incredible and she found herself swooning as she gently put her arm in the sleeve. She looked up at him, hoping that her face didn't look as red as she felt and gestured out the door.

"Your car or mine?" he asked.

"Actually, it's a nice day and I don't have much to get, can we walk instead?" she asked. The delight in his eyes about taking a walk with her made her smile.

"That sounds wonderful," he said.

More than anything in the world at that moment, Richard wanted to hold his wife's hand, to feel those small delicate fingers inside of his. However, he had made a promise not to rush her, and he felt like a sixth grader asking, "Can I please hold your hand?" and so he simply offered his arm and to his delight, she slipped her arm through the crook of his and they started to walk towards the store.

"So…" she started after they had been walking for a moment.

"Yes?" he asked.

"I've got a million questions," she said, looking down at the ground.

"I imagine you do," he replied.

"Start at the beginning," she said. "Start with me growing up,"

"Well," he said. "I don't know very much about your growing up years, but I'll do my best. Let's see…your birthday is July 2, 1945. You are the oldest child of Dennis and Rebecca Hansen, you have a younger brother Dennis the second, and a younger sister Hope."

"What's my full name?" Laura asked, "Do I have a middle name?"

"Yes…you could say that," Richard replied chuckling.

"What do you mean?" she said raising an eyebrow.

"Your name, my dear, is Emily Ann Rebecca Claudette Victoria Coburn Hansen Gilmore."

"You're not serious,"

"Oh very,"

"What's yours?" she asked.

"Richard Charles McKinley David Horace Michael Gilmore," he replied and took a deep breath after he had finished.

Laura giggled, "That's terrible!" she said. "What kind of parents do that to a child!"

Richard chuckled and looked away guiltily.

"Oh no…are you kidding me?" she asked.

Richard smiled and nodded, "Lorelai Victoria Ann Rebecca Julia Hope Coral Gilmore."

Laura made a face, "Coral? Ugh, please tell me I didn't come up with that one."

"No," Richard said, "The Coral was on my side of the family,"

"Tell me more about my family," she said as they entered the grocery store and Laura grabbed a cart. "Are my parents still alive?"

Richard shook his head, and she sighed. "I never knew your father," he went on. "He died when you were seventeen."

"What did he die of?" she asked.

"Heart attack," Richard replied. "Your mother died just about two months after Lorelai was born. She had a heart attack as well. You have to have an EKG every year to make sure yours is still healthy."

"What was she like?" she asked, opening the freezer to get out some frozen peas and hoping that he didn't see her sad face as she tried so hard to remember her.

"She was lovely, patrician, a lady through and through. Elegance just poured out of her. She was very kind, always understanding. She loved Lorelai. She was her first grandchild." Laura smiled thoughtfully, "Tell me about my brother and sister, are they still alive?"

"Yes, they're both still alive. Hope lives in Paris. You two are very close. She was devastated when you…anyway, she is a younger you, always has been. She was your shadow. Your brother Dennis and you aren't so close…" he paused, trying to search for a way to say it delicately but there really wasn't anyway to say it delicately. "You don't speak. You haven't spoken in twenty years,"

Laura turned and stared at him, "Why?" she asked.

Richard looked at her and remembered back to the last time he had seen Dennis Hansen.

"_She's not to come Emily!" Dennis had yelled at her. Richard started pacing the halls upstairs, punching his hands together. He had only stayed up there because Emily had made him promise, but he was getting ready to break that promise. _

"_I beg your pardon?" he heard Emily retort. _

"_I am the head of this family and…" Dennis yelled. _

"_I'm sorry, you're the what of this family?" Emily cut him off. _

"_I am the head of this family and I am telling you, your daughter is not going to show up and Christiana's wedding eight months pregnant!" _

"_My daughter can go wherever she pleases Dennis. She and Christiana have always been close. They're cousins Dennis!"_

"_I don't really care Emily, as far as I'm concerned, someone who sleeps around and gets pregnant at sixteen doesn't deserve to be part of this family any more!" _

_At that Richard started down the stairs, but Emily was a step a head of him. _

"_Get out of my house!" she screamed. "Get out right now!" _

"You had an argument," Richard simply said. "You just have never made up."

They finished the shopping as he told her about her schooling, college, that she had played the piano all through high school and college but little by little had stopped playing as time went on. Just as she said, they were done, he steered the cart over to the ice cream section. He smiled at her as he reached in and grabbed a carton of double chocolate fudge, and then went to the cookies the next isle over and grabbed some striped shortbread, and then some fudge magic shell. "I think this evening calls for a bowl of crushed shortbread cookies, double chocolate fudge ice cream with magic shell on top. She stared at him bewildered, "That's my favorite dessert in the world…how did you…?"

He chuckled, "Some things are more powerful than amnesia Emily."

They had a wonderful walk home; there was a light breeze that was making the day not too cold and not too hot. They had about five minutes before her first pupil got there, and Richard made himself comfortable in the easy chair with a paper while Laura welcomed her first student. She was a dark haired little girl that suddenly made him miss his daughter. He was hurt slightly when Emily had started to introduce him as her husband but had stopped and simply introduced him as Mr. Gilmore.

"Hello Charlotte," he said, taking her small hand and shaking it. "It's nice to meet you,"

"It's nice to meet you too Mr. Gilmore," she said smiling.

"You remind me a lot of my little girl," he said and looking up at Emily's face and seeing the dreamy look that came into her eyes as he mentioned their daughter was more than enough compensation for being introduced as Mr. Gilmore.

"Do you have a little girl too?" Charlotte asked. "You're kind of old," she said bluntly and he chuckled as he watched Emily nudge the little girl to remind her of her manners. It was a scene he had seen many times before!

"Charlotte, that little girl is my little girl too, Am I old?" Emily said and Richard's heart beat fast with hope.

"No Mam," she said, looking up at her. "You're not old," it was obvious to Richard that she adored her teacher. She turned back to him, "But he is," then she turned back to Emily and with a confused look said, "How can his little girl be your little girl too?"

"Let's practice your scales Dear," her teacher nodded towards the piano.

Richard had expected to just sit and read the paper as he watched Emily teach, but he couldn't help looking over the rims of his glasses at her. It was quite the different Emily he had seen today—an Emily that cooked, an Emily that went to the grocery store, an Emily that patiently waited while her students plinked out a melody on the piano. As he watched her, he found himself falling in love with her all over again. They had a nice lunch together, during her break, and the afternoon past quickly as he watched his wife, and suddenly the last student was gone and it was time to start dinner. He felt so domesticated as he sat down at the kitchen table and watched his adorable wife place on an apron, tie back her hair and begin to peel potatoes. She peeled the first one and then looked up at him.

"You going to sit there or are you going to help?" she asked raising an eyebrow. "I wouldn't have the slightest idea how to help," he replied throwing up his hands. She reached in a drawer and threw him an apron, "Grab a peeler Mr. Gilmore," she said smiling. "You're in my territory now,"

Laura couldn't help smiling as she watched the big man who still smelled like Heaven, awkwardly peel potatoes as if he was performing brain surgery. "Like this?" he asked, brushing the peeler away with a flourish.

"Yes that's it," she said and laughed to herself as she watched him grin with pride. They had a lovely dinner and Laura couldn't help glowing as she watched the surprise and delight that came into his face as he bit into the chicken, the potatoes and the apple pie. "Like it?" she asked, and Richard turned towards her, "It's amazing," he said, "Absolutely amazing,"

Laura was not surprised to find out that the man had never filled a dishwasher in his life either. She giggled delightedly as she watched put back on the apron and squirt an abundance of dish soap into the sink. The bubbles foamed up and he stared at them wide eyed.

"Uh…how do you stop the bubbles?" he asked.

She laughed out loud and shooed him away, "You go relax," she said. "I'll finish the dishes."

When she was done, she dished up two bowls of ice cream and took them into the living room. When she bought them in, Richard stared at her in disbelief.

"What?" she asked.

"You would have a coronary if anyone ate ice cream in the front room before," he asked. She shrugged, "I can take it back if you intend on spilling," she said.

"I'll be okay," he said, and held out his hands.

They sat eating their ice cream in silence, watching the last of the sunset disappear through the big window. When they were finished, Laura brought the bowls back into the kitchen and came back and sat down beside him.

"Thank you for the day Emily," Richard said, "It was wonderful,"

"All you did all day was go grocery shopping and watch me teach piano," she said.

"It was wonderful," he replied again, and feeling daring, he slipped his hand around his wife's shoulder, ready to retreat if she didn't want it there. But to his delight, she didn't mind it at all. They sat there like that for a moment, and then he turned to her and whispered, "Play for me," They used to do that all the time, when they were first married. Before the days of Floyd and the DAR, before the days of the interference from his mother mattered, when they were just two people madly in love. He would lie on his back on the couch and she would play for him, soft beautiful melodies.

Laura smiled, and moved out of his arm and over to the piano. Richard turned and watched her as she settled down and began to play. He loved this woman so much, he thought as he watched her fingers gently dance over the keys. She was his everything. He knew that now, knew it more than ever. She was grayer than that girl who had stood up and dedicated that song to him at her recital, her fingers were more wrinkled, but she was still that beautiful woman. She was still the woman who had bewitched him with that flowing blue dress and that red hair. She continued to play for about forty five minutes and then she stopped and turned to him. He took in a deep breath, "Thank you," he said. "That was beautiful." She smiled and she seemed to glow like the moon behind her.

She sat back down on the couch next to him, and Richard slipped his arm around her again. They sat in silence for a minute, watching the moon and then Laura whispered, "Richard…tell me about her,"

He didn't have to ask who she meant by "her." He gave her a little squeeze and said, "She's lovely, like her mother. She has the thickest head of black hair you've ever seen,"

_Black hair!_

"She owns an inn in the town that she lives in Stars Hollow, it's called The Dragonfly Inn."

"What's she like?" Laura asked, and found herself leaning more into Richard's embrace.

"She's very bright, very witty—like her mother as well, she's successful. She loves to watch movies, and hang out with Rory, those two are so close."

"What about her husband?" Laura asked and Richard swallowed hard, he wasn't ready to open that part of their lives quite yet.

"She's getting married actually, in June to a man named Luke Danes," he said and felt relieved when Emily seemed to focus her attention away from the topic of Rory's father.

"She's getting married in June?" Laura said looking at him, "Is he a good man? Is he a nice man? Do we like him?"

Again Richard's heart tightened, but he smiled, "Yes Emily, we like him. He's a good man,"

"That's good," she said, and he brought the other arm around her front and clasped his hands together. "That's good he's a good man."

They sat in silence for a minute and then Richard yawned, "I need to be getting home Emily, I have a long day tomorrow," hating to break the moment, but his body protesting.

"Yes of course you do," she said, getting up and hurrying into the kitchen where she brought out a paper sack full of chicken and potatoes. "Put this in the refrigerator when you get home," she said smiling. "You can take it for lunch tomorrow."

Richard smiled and shook his head, "You're amazing,"

He turned to walk out the door, when she suddenly stopped him,

"Richard?" she asked, "Was I a good mother?"

Seeing her face, so innocent and confused, reminded him of how many times he had yelled at her, of the times he had basically said that her life was meaningless, of the times she must have walked away hurt because she knew his business came before her. He gently reached down and kissed her on the cheek.

"Yes Emily," he said. "You were a very good mother."


	14. The First

Disclaimer: This is an original story based upon the characters of Gilmore Girls. No profit will be made from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Note: Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy birthday dear Mareike, Happy Birthday to you!

"Sooooo..." Josie said, daintily biting into the morning's package of powdered sugar donuts. She took a small bit just in case she was going to be forced to choke as she wheedled information out of her friend.

"So, what?" Laura said, playfully raising her eyebrows.

"So, what do you think about the new Smuckers flavor of jam...um hello?" Josie retorted.

Laura chuckled, "What do you want to know?"

"Have you remembered anything yet?"

Laura sighted sadly and took a long sip of her coffee, "No," she whispered. "I've tried, but I just can't remember anything, anything at all."

Silence passed between them and Josie reached over and put a hand over her friends, "I can't imagine what this must be like. That man is your husband and you can't remember him,"

Laura sighed sadly, "I can't imagine what it must be like for him. You can see it in his eyes Jo, he was so devastated when she...I...you know. He showed me pictures yesterday, pictures of my mother and father, brother and sister; he showed me our wedding pictures. It is me Jo. It's so weird. I'm staring at me in these pictures and I don't remember any of it."

"What about your daughter?" Josie asked, "Did you see a picture of your daughter?"

Laura shook her head, and took another drink of coffee.

"What?" Josie asked.

Laura shook her head, "Nothing,"

"That's not nothing,"

Laura took another sip of coffee and then stared out the window, "I'm scared Jo," she said.

"Why?"

"I'm scared to meet my child. Isn't that ridiculous? I mean, it's different with Richard, it's one thing to meet my husband, and it was one thing to meet my granddaughter, but...she's my child. I carried her inside of me for nine months and I don't remember any of it. I have a daughter...and I don't remember any of it, her first tooth, her first smile, I don't remember how it felt to nurse her or how it felt to watch her go to school for the first day."

"Hon, you will, you will remember," Josie said

"But what if I don't? How fair is that to Lorelai?"

"Yeah, what if you don't?" Josie followed a beat behind, "Sweetie, that is your child. You are going to have to start making a relationship with her, whether or not you remember."

The sat in silence as they finished their coffee, the only sound being the rustling of the donut wrapper.

"Say something...please," Josie said as she finished off her donut.

"She was there," Laura said, and suddenly her eyes were burning, "Did I tell you that? She was there that night. Richard told me. She was with me in the car when we got in the accident."

There was a few minutes of silence again before, brushed a piece of hair out of her eyes and looked up at her friend, "My God, Jo...she was there that night. She was in the accident too. Richard said she almost drowned. She lost me. Richard says that this year has been hard for her. She almost drowned, she lost me, she's getting married in a month and a half. Richard said she postponed the wedding because she was so sad. How can I see her now, and look into my own child's eyes and tell her that I can't remember her. I'm not going to do that to her. I won't."

"Laura, you are doing the exact same thing that you were doing before Richard came. What if you don't remember? Will you shut her out too? Richard made the first move. He moved out here. Don't you think it's time that you made the first move?"

"I'll think about it," Laura said after a long pause.

"You're doing that thing with your lips again," Josie remarked, shaking her head.

They finished their coffee and then started walking out to Josie's car. "You are still coming tonight right?" Josie asked, starting to fear that she had crossed the line.

Laura sensed her feelings and smiled reassuringly, "I'll be there, four-thirty to help set up."

"And are you bringing a date?" Josie asked slyly.

"You are the nosiest person I have ever known...you know that?" Laura smiled. "Yes, I'll be bringing a date."

"Come on, give me something more than just that!" Josie whined. "Come on Laura, tell me. No Emily Gilmore here, just you, Laura Baker. What do you feel about Richard Gilmore?"

Laura blushed and looked down on the ground, "I don't know, it's weird," she replied, "I mean, I can't remember him but I feel so comfortable around him. It's so strange to look in his eyes, because I see the love that he feels and I think...he doesn't really feel that for me, he feels it for his wife. But I am his wife! I don't know."

Josie shook her head, "Laura...Sweetie...tell me, do you have feelings for this man?"

Laura looked up and tried to avoid her friend's piercing eyes, "Maybe I do!" she said in a "Are you happy now?" tone. Josie smiled and hugged her friend to her, "See you tonight!" she replied gleefully.

As Richard had to work until 6:00, he was going to meet her over at the reception hall for the Garden Party Forties Dance. By 4:45, Laura was busy in work, pinning up war bond banners everywhere, and making sure that every detail was taken care of. Richard arrived a few minutes early and was delighted to watch his wife as she worked. It was a scene that he had seen many times, Emily organizing and ordering about, but this was such a different Emily! She was in a t-shirt and khaki Capri's and had her hair back in a twist with a pen stuck in it. One adorable curl was falling in her face and she was wearing flip flops. What would Lorelai give to see her mother right at this moment? She suddenly looked up and him and smiled. His heart started beating wildly. She was so beautiful.

"Richard, I wasn't expecting you so soon," she said embarrassed as she brushed the curl out of her face. "I'm not even dressed yet,"

Richard felt almost as nervous which was rather comical to him. Why should he feel this nervous around his own wife? "Hi," he said, "I just...missed you," he replied and looked down at the floor. Laura felt her insides jump, it was a feeling she was getting more and more used to. She smiled again, "That's very sweet." Both of them felt like two young teenagers starting out. She didn't know this man, didn't remember anything about him, but looking in his eyes made her go weak in the knees. He was so kind and gentle, she thought as she looked up at him. Josie had been right. She was starting to like him, she liked him a lot. She was discovering how sweet love could be and she was starting to see that Richard Gilmore was the only man for her, whether she was Laura Baker or Emily Gilmore.

Richard had come to California to help his wife remember who he was. Instead, it was the other way around. Maybe this was what all of this was for he thought to himself as he watched his wife turn and go back to her work. He made himself quite comfortable as he watched his wife continue on with the party planning. Maybe all of this was to help him, the businessman who had lost himself to his work, realize the treasures he never knew he had. It was in loosing his wife that he had finally opened his heart to his daughter. It was in finding his wife and helping her, focusing on her needs as she tried to remember her life that he had found himself falling in love with her all over again. But this time, it was a deeper love than he had ever felt before. She would look over at him every once in awhile and smile and he felt like his heart was on fire. A little before seven, she disappeared and then reappeared in a rose colored flowing dress, with her hair pulled back in a fancier twist stuck with pearl pins. She was breathtaking. He walked towards her, and as soon as he had found his breath, he whispered, "Emily, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen."

If he had wanted any reward for his compliment, he received it as she put her soft hand in his big one and wrapped her fingers around his. Oh it felt so good to hold that hand again! The lights went down and white lights attached to the ceiling became the only illumination. The band started playing, and people started coming in. "Rory put on a dance like this," Richard said as they sat down at a table. "About two years ago. It was a great occasion."

"Well, great minds run in the family I guess," Laura said, smiling at the guests, "You said Rory was a member of the DAR, is Lorelai a member too?"

"No," Richard said chuckling in spite of himself. "At the risk of using a terrible pun, the DAR isn't exactly Lorelai's cup of tea." He hoped she would end it at that. She knew he would have to tell her soon about the relationship she and Lorelai had most of her life. Thankfully, a fun fast song started playing and he started her towards the dance floor. "Want to dance?" he asked.

"I don't know how," she said and Richard just smiled reassuringly, "Just follow me, it will all come back."

He took her out on the floor and started dancing with her, she stepped on his feet a few times, but then her feet somehow remembered what it felt like to be Emily Gilmore's feet and she started to get into it. As the music sped up, they got more and more into the dance and didn't even notice that people were starting to form a circle around them and cheering as if they were all in high school. Laura laughed delightedly as she danced in little steps around Richard and then caught his hand as he brought her back him and swirled her around some more. Richard felt like he was nineteen again. The music ended and Laura collapsed into his arms, both of them laughing and breathing heavily. The crowd clapped and Richard took Laura's hand and walked off the floor, "Want to get some air?" she asked.

"Yes, that sounds wonderful," he said as they walked outside. He took off his jacket as they walked outside and put it around her shoulders.

"Beautiful night," Richard said as they walked along the reception hall grounds.

"Yes it is," she replied. They walked in silence after that, still holding to each other's hands.

"Richard," she said suddenly, "I don't want to be here anymore. Let's go back to my house, please,"

"Are you alright?" he asked, his concern etched in his features.

"Please, I just want to have a quiet night at home."

They ended up stopping by the pizza parlor for a pizza and then stopping by the video store. "What do you want to rent?" Richard asked, searching her face. She seemed so distracted, so distant since their dance.

"What was my favorite movie...before?"

"That would be "An Affair to Remember,"

"Okay, let's get that one," she said. "Who knows, maybe it will help me remember," she sighed. Richard put his arm around her and hugged her to him. "It might be just the thing.

They went down stairs and sat down on her couch.

"Are you cold?" Richard asked, and Laura looked up at him, "Yeah, I am a little," she smiled slightly. Richard reached up and grabbed a blanket and put it around her. "Better?"

"Hmm, no," she said. He smiled goofily as he got her point and put his arm around her, "Better now?" he asked and she smiled, "Yeah, that's fine." Feeling suddenly as if she was in the safest place in the world, in the arms of the best and truest friend, she leaned into his embrace and put her head on his shoulder. "Richard, are you sure it will be alright?" she asked.

"What?" he asked, reaching up and caressing her hair.

"If I never remember," she replied.

"Yes, it will be alright. Everything will be alright," he said.

A few moments of silence passed between them and then Laura took a deep breath. "Richard, I want to see Lorelai,"

She felt Richard's chest move as he swallowed hard, "I'll call her tomorrow," he said smiling.

"Good," she said. Josie was right again. She needed to see her child.

They watched the movie together like that, ate pizza and drank A&W rootbear out of cans. At the end, Laura found tears streaming down her cheeks, "I can see that would be a favorite," she said and Richard reached down and wiped away a tear from her cheek.

"You must have seen that movie a thousand times," he said, and you cry every single time," she sat up and dried her eyes laughing. "Don't make fun of me!" she cried out.

She finished drying her eyes and then turned to look at him. He was staring at her, his eyes fixed on her, a deep longing in them.

"What?" she asked.

"I...I...I have to go," he said stammering and got up to leave.

"Why?" she asked, and it surprised her how much she didn't want him to go.

"Because, I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't rush you and if I look at you for one more minute, I'm going to have to kiss you."

He turned to leave, when suddenly her hand found the way into his, pulling him back. He turned back towards her, his face longing, wanting so much to have her, but not wanting to rush her.

"Darling, don't look at me like that," she whispered smiling. He sat down next to her, searching her eyes to see if she was sure. He moved towards her and she retreated a little, but his face was so kind and gentle she couldn't be afraid of him. Tenderly, he reached up and began to caress her cheek. She quivered slightly at his touch. Slowly, as not to rush her, he put the other hand on the side of her cheek and brought her towards him. As his lips came closer, she whispered, "I've forgotten how." He said nothing, just continued towards her. Instinctively she took a deep breath, and then his lips reached hers and she felt as though hot chocolate was being poured over her from the inside.

Richard felt as though he was drinking water for the first time in years. He was so in love with this woman, his beautiful angel wife. He went slow at first, ready to retreat if she needed him to, and as she gave in, the kiss became more and more passionate. Laura reached up and held onto his shirt, as the kiss became more passionate. She couldn't breathe, her lungs felt as though they were heaving for air, but it felt so good to be out of air like that! She felt like Richard's kiss was blowing in air throughout her body, and was slowly dispersing the fog in her brain. She still could not remember the man who held her in his arms, she only knew she loved him. The key to her entire existence was in this man, because as his lips continued to breath new life into her, she knew that Emily Gilmore's, whoever she was, heart was this man. She was no longer afraid, afraid to know this good gentle man, afraid to meet the daughter they had created. They finally broke the kiss and she fell against him, breathing heavily. He took her face in his hands, and between his own gasps for air, caressed her cheek, "I love you," he whispered, "Emily or Laura, I only know one thing. I love you."

Author's Note: Mareike, I know that it's about one o'clock in the morning there, so I have probably missed you. I just wanted to say happy birthday and I hope this chapter was a nice present!


	15. Laura meets Lorelai

Disclaimer: This is an original story based upon the characters of Gilmore Girls. No profit will be made from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Note: Thank you to all who read and reviewed the last chapter. I really appreciate it. My life is somewhat crazy these days so I don't get the chance a lot to tell you individually how much I appreciate that you take the time to read my stories. I hope you enjoy this next installment.

"Your hands are shaking," Luke said as he carried the baggage behind Lorelai as they made their way over to the check in station.

"They are not," Lorelai said, shoving them in her pockets

"Your coat is vibrating,"

Lorelai shot him a look and took her hands out of her pockets and rubbed them together. They felt tingly—she felt tingly all over.

"You're going to hyperventilate," Luke said as he continued walking.

"No back seat panic attack drivers please," Lorelai said as she shoved her hands back into her pockets. They got her all checked in and stopped at the bottom of the escalator to say goodbye. Luke took her in his arms and kissed her. She held on to him for a few minutes after the kiss, and her whole body was shaking now.

"Lorelai, it'll be just fine. It's your mother, not the president of the United States."

"Yeah, um…my mother who has been living the past year thinking that she's someone else, who doesn't have a clue who I am, Trust me, if George was calling, I'd much rather be at the White House!"

Luke chuckled, and took her in his arms again, "I'll miss you," he whispered in her ear.

"I'll miss you too," she replied. "Take care of yourself."

"I will," he said, and then she took him by the hand and led him behind one of the large pillars.

"I mean…" Luke said, "It's not like I won't have anything to do, I have work, and more work, and after that I think I'll work, and then maybe I'll eat Chinese food while watching…"

Lorelai smiled and placed a hand over his mouth, "Just shut up and kiss me Stupid," she said and they enveloped each other in a long hard kiss.

"Make that last," Lorelai whispered as they parted. Luke reached down and took her hand. "I'll sure try." He reached up and brushed her hair out of her face. "I love you," he said. She reached up and kissed him one last time. "I love you too," she whispered.

"Your hands are shaking," Richard said as he watched his wife nervously flutter around the kitchen, polishing the counters until they shone.

"They are not," she denied as she continued wiping.

"You are going to buff that countertop; your hands are shaking so hard." Richard said smiling.

At that she picked up the rag and threw it at him.

He caught it and started laughing.

She laughed for a minute as well and then suddenly marched over to the him and snatched the rag out of his hands. "You could help you know!" she suddenly yelled at him. "I've cleaned this entire house from top to bottom, and you haven't done one thing. This is your daughter too you know!"

Richard was taken aback by the sudden display of Emilyness. In spite of himself he chuckled, and stood up, placing his hands on his wife's shoulders. "Emily, calm down,"

"I will not calm down!" she yelled, throwing the rag down on the table. "I've got a daughter coming here that I don't know, I don't remember. You want me to calm down? I can't! Everything has to be perfect!" she cried, and Richard took her in his arms. Laura was amazed at how comfortable those arms were.

"Everything will be perfect," he said. "Lorelai will be amazed. Really, she will,"

"I just want her to like me," Laura said, burrowing her head in his embrace. Richard tightened his arms around his wife, as it hit him. That's what his wife's whole life had been about, since the first minute they placed a squalling Lorelai in her arms. That's all she had ever wanted—Lorelai to like her. Suddenly, holding her in his arms, his mind went back to a time that seemed forever ago, and just yesterday at the same time.

_He couldn't help her. He had tried—tried for days to get her out of bed but she wouldn't go. She just lay there, staring out the large bay window, clutching to…what was the doll's name? Julia—that's right, the doll he had brought her home from London, the doll with the red dress she had tried to wash in the laundry. She had snuck it in when the made wasn't looking—twelve of his brand new business shirts, all pink. Emily had found Julia underneath Lorelai's bed, the poor doll was bent out of shape, long forgotten by the girl who had exchanged dolls for a real baby. He had stood in the doorway as Emily had picked up the doll and sat down on Lorelai's bed. She kissed the doll's shorn head, and hugged it to her, as if she was desperately trying to right past wrongs, trying to be loving to the doll in a way that she hadn't been to her own child. _

_Now it had been a week since that night they had found Lorelai's note and Emily had retreated to her bed, clutching to Julia and staring out the window. She seemed to sense his presence after a few minutes and whispered, her voice raspy because she hadn't drank or ate much over the last few days, "It's snowing Richard," _

_He moved towards her, sitting on the bed and moving her hair out of her eyes. _

"_She's alright Emily," he whispered, trying so hard to be strong—one of them had to. _

"_Remember how she always loved the snow Richard? Ever since she was a little baby. That was the first time she laughed…remember? When we were on our way to the Christmas party at the Shaffers. We took her outside and she laughed. Did you ever see such a happy baby Richard?" she asked, and her face crumpled and turned into the pillow. _

"_She was a happy baby," he said, reaching down and kissing the top of her head. _

"_I failed her Richard," Emily turned out of the pillow and sobbed, "I tried so hard, I tried to do the right thing and I failed her. I never should have let nannies raise my child Richard. I don't care that it's been done forever. I never should have done it with my child. I shouldn't have criticized her, I should have believed in her more, I should have done everything I could to stop her from getting pregnant Richard. I failed her. It's all my fault I failed her!" she cried, and buried her head back in the pillow. _

_His hand hovered over her, wanting so badly to give her comfort but being clueless how. They were both going through the same Hell, but seemed to be lost in two different realms of it. Ever since he had heard his wife crying as she opened the note that would forever change their lives, he felt as though he was loosing his family and their was nothing he could do about it. All of us skills, all of his training. What the Hell did any of that matter now? He had lost his daughter, his bright beautiful daughter, the girl that lit up a room with her laughter, who wanted to go to Yale just like he did. He had lost his granddaughter, the baby that had finally come nine months after the announcement that she was leaving school, leaving her dreams, leaving his dreams. He hadn't wanted that baby. He wasn't Straub, in fact it had taken everything in him to keep from pulverizing Straub when he suggested that the Lorelai "get rid" of the baby, but in his heart, he hadn't wanted it at all. But that first night, when that nurse had brought the newest edition of Lorelai's out to meet her grandparents for the first time and had placed her in his arms, he was taken. There were times when he would go into the nursery at night and just look at her, somehow feeling that this baby was the key that was going to put their family back together again. But now that baby was gone, along with his baby girl, and now he was loosing his wife, her guilt and worry eating her alive. _

_The phone rang suddenly and both of them felt like they were having a heart attack. Completely weak from lack of food and sleep, Emily's surge of adrenaline only allowed her to raise her head off the pillow. _

"_Hello? Lorelai?" Richard swallowed hard and Emily cried out, "It's her?" _

"_Where are you? Are you okay?" he asked frantically and nodded to his wife who collapsed into tears again on the pillow. _

"_Lorelai, where are you? What? I'm not going to promise you anything Lorelai. You are seventeen years old! You have to live at home!" Exasperated, he took the phone out of his ear, and placed his hand over the receiver. "She's close, but she won't tell me where she is unless I promise I won't try to go get her and make her come back. She says she wants to live on her own. She's found a job and a place to live and she says she's okay, but she's not coming back."_

_Emily reached out a weak hand and took the receiver in her hand. Trying to muster any sense of maternal control, she pressed the phone to her ear. "Come home," she said in a weak voice, and then she pressed her hand to her mouth, trying to hold back the floodgate of emotions, "Lorelai please," she whispered, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Just come home." She placed her hand over her mouth again as she heard all the reasons why Lorelai couldn't come back. Too exhausted to fight, too devastated to do anything but curl up tighter, Emily simply listened until her daughter was finished. "Okay," she whispered, "Yes, okay. Yes, I'll be here. One o'clock tomorrow. Okay," her voice shook as Richard heard Lorelai saying goodbye. "Bundle up," Emily said, biting her lower lip to keep from crying. "Alright, talk to you tomorrow," she said and then suddenly she blurted out, "I love you Lorelai," but she had been too late, all she received in return was dial tone. She handed him back the phone and looked back out the window, clutching Julia tighter to her. "She's going to call again," Emily whispered. "Tomorrow, at one."_

_Richard nodded, and petted his wife's hair as she stared out at the snow. "She's safe Emily," he said, his own heart finally relaxing. He stayed with her for the next hour, the only sound he could hear were her gentle sobs. _

"Is it almost time to go?" she asked, as she separated herself from him and looked up at the clock. "Oh my goodness Richard, I'm so nervous," she said, putting her hand over his heart. Richard looked up at the clock and was worried as well. He had been lucky so far, for some reason Emily hadn't brought up how old Rory was, and done the math on how young Lorelai must have been when she had her. She hadn't asked about Rory's father, or even about the status of her relationship with Lorelai. Watching her now, as she nervously put on lipstick in the mirror, he wondered if it had even occurred to her that she had had an estranged relationship with her daughter for most of their daughter's life. She was going to find out. Should he tell her now? Should he wait?

She turned and looked at him with unsurity, "Do I look alright?" she asked, nervously, twisting her fingers.

"You look beautiful Emily," he responded. She smiled and reached up and kissed him on the cheek. "Let's go," she said and suddenly she was more excited than nervous. Richard caught her arm suddenly and brought her back to him.

"What is it? What's wrong?" she asked, her eyes wide.

"I need to tell you something," he said. "It's about Lorelai," he said. "You need to know, she got pregnant with Rory when she was sixteen. Rory's father's name is Christopher. She didn't marry him. She dropped out of high school and raised Rory by herself." He stared at her intently, waiting to see how this news would affect her.

"I figured as much Richard," she said after a minute, "I mean, I saw Rory, and I knew how old Lorelai is, my memory may be gone Richard, but I can still do math problems."

"You knew?" he asked and then realized how dumb he had been for not realizing she would have known sooner.

"She raised that baby all by herself?" Laura whispered and shook her head. "She must be so amazing Richard. I can't imagine how hard that would be. Where were we? We did help didn't we?"

Now it was Richard's hands turn to shake. "Here we go" he thought. He took a deep breath. "We weren't there Emily. She left us. She moved away from home and didn't want anybody's help. Not Christopher's, not ours. She left us and moved away. We only saw her on holidays and birthdays after that. We were estranged Emily, for sixteen years." He took her hands in his as it registered. That was all he could muster now. He couldn't tell her about their own separation, the renewal ceremony gone terribly wrong, the night they had welcomed their granddaughter into their home and the cost of their daughter.

She sat down at the table for a few minutes and then suddenly stood up and grabbed her purse. "Let's go Richard," she said and started out the door.

"Wait Emily," he said. "Are you alright?"

She turned to face him. "I don't remember the girl she was Richard. I don't remember the mistakes she made. I want to know the woman she is now. I don't remember the mother I was either, I don't remember the mistakes I made. I just want to find out what kind of mother I can be now."

An hour later, they were standing at the bottom of the escalator at the LAX airport. Laura stood nervously, holding a bouquet of flowers in her arms, scanning the crowd as they got off the plane.

"What's taking so long?" Laura said nervously, turning to Richard, "The plane landed over thirty minutes ago. Do you think she's alright?"

"Yes, she's fine Emily…I'm sure she's just…" he said and then stopped as he caught sight of his daughter.

"There she is Emmy," he whispered and Laura turned.

There she was at the top of the escalator, their eyes locked on each other and it seemed as though they were the only two people in the world.

Meeting her husband, a man she didn't know but had fallen in love with all over again, was an amazing experience, but this…this was different. This was her child, someone she had carried inside of her. Her heart sank a little as Lorelai continued down the escalator. She had hoped that seeing her daughter would finally clear the fog out of her, that she would be able to fully be Emily Gilmore. But although she didn't know the face that was staring at her so intently, she knew it was a face she loved and was devoted to. As Richard had said, there were some things that were stronger than amnesia.

Lorelai stepped off the escalator towards her mother.

_Mam, I know this is difficult, but have found no trace of your mother. We believe she didn't survive. _

_Lorelai…your mother is in Heaven. She died. She's not coming back. _

Was it all a dream? Was her mother really standing here now?

Laura took a step to her, and placed the flowers in her daughter's arms. She looked into those blue eyes—Richard's eyes. "You're so beautiful," she whispered.

Suddenly with a choking sob, Lorelai put her arms around her mother and Laura returned the hug, wanting so badly to remember.

Trying to hold back his own tears, Richard watched as his wife and daughter embraced—something he hadn't seen them do in years. He realized as he watched, with all of the hurt and anger stripped away that his wife and his daughter were not so different than Lorelai and Rory. The difference was that Lorelai and Rory had been blessed with communication, while Emily and Lorelai had loved each other just as deeply, but could never tell each other how they felt. They had loved each other so much that hurt from the other was only bearable if it was turned into anger against them. Now, all of that was stripped away, and as he watched his wife and his daughter hugging each other, for the first time a thought entered his heart and it frightened him a little.

For the first time, he wondered if he really wanted Emily to get her memory back.


	16. Tucking In

Disclaimer: This is an original story based upon the characters of Gilmore Girls. No profit will be made from this story and no copyright infringement is intended

Author's Note: Thank you all who read and reviewed the last chapter. I have a fairly slow night, so I thought I would update again. I hope you like it. Some of you indicated that you were disappointed there was not more Lorelai/Emily interaction in the last chapter. Don't worry, I was leading up to it. There will be more in this installment, I promise. Second thing, I usually write my stories late at night and am the world's laziest editor and I noticed a lot of grammar/spelling mistakes in the last chapter. I'm sorry. I will do better! Anyway, that having been said—on with the show!

They all drove in silence back to Bentley, only broken by a few pieces of small talk here and there to clear the air. Lorelai kept looking at her mother, she looked so different. It reminded her of one of the old Oil of Olay commercials where they would show the old hag and then show her again after two weeks of using Oil of Olay. Her mother seemed so much softer now. There were no fancy clothes, no pearls, no fancy hairdo. She was dressed in a light green blouse, with a tan jacket, and tan slacks. Her hair was done simply, curling around her shoulders like she used to wear it before the big hair days. The most unusual thing was that her mother was wearing glasses. She had never seen her mother wear glasses. Oh, she had been told to, but for some reason Emily Gilmore would not wear glasses. Who knew if it was a style issue or a not wanting to grow old issue—or simply that wearing glasses would have met she was not in control of her eyesight anymore, and she could never stand to be out of control. Lorelai liked her glasses on her. They were classy, with thin gold-colored frames and they suited her well.

As if she could sense her daughter's eyes behind her, Laura turned and smiled at her, and then gave her a little wink as if to say, "We'll get rid of Dad and then it will just be us." Lorelai smiled back and seemed to catch the message, but both of them were nervous for the time when Richard would leave them.

"A year, I haven't seen her in over a year," Lorelai thought. "She doesn't remember me, how do I talk to her? How do I spend time alone with her?"

"I'm a mother," Laura thought. "I'm a mother who has forgotten her own child." Suddenly, she was seized with fear—what if she did something wrong? She knew now that they had been estranged for sixteen years, why? What was she supposed to do? This wasn't an infant she had brought home, this was an independent almost forty year old woman. How could she be a new mother to a forty year old woman?

"He we are," Richard said, suddenly pulling into the driveway. Laura hadn't realized they were so close. She shot Richard a panicked look and he smiled at her reassuringly.

"I'll get your bags Lorelai, you two go on inside," he said. He watched, and was not denying his own nervous feeling in the pit of his stomach. Here they were, two of the women he cherished more than anything, and he was desperately hoping that this night would go well.

Laura walked up the walkway and unlocked the door. Suddenly she was afraid that Lorelai would think the house was too small, too dowdy. Lorelai's mother was classy, ritzy, and at the moment, Laura felt anything but classy and ritzy. She was watching Lorelai intently as they walked in.

Lorelai knew that her mother had been living simply the past year, her dad had told her, but for some reason she was still unprepared for the house when she saw it. To be quite honest, if her mother had shown her a black dungeon with a nail bed and torture devices as her new home, she wouldn't have been more surprised. She liked it, she liked it a lot. It was small, simple, and pretty. None of the gaudy, expensive, "Do you think I bought that for you to just sit in it Lorelai?" furniture was around. The living room was small, with the piano in the center, a small couch with a pretty lace covering, a matching love seat and a lamp with a pink shade on a table in the corner was the extent of the living room. Lorelai had to look back at the woman one more time to make sure she really was her mother. The only thing about the house that resembled her mother was that it was spotless. It smelled like some kind of lemon cleaner. Wait a minute…her mom didn't have any maids, did she actually…Lorelai smiled as suddenly the sight of her mother scrubbing toilets entered her mind.

"What do you think?" Laura asked anxiously. Lorelai turned back and smiled at her. "It's great Mom," she said. "It's really beautiful." At being called "Mom," for the very first time, Laura's heart jumped. She liked the feeling, wanted it again. Richard came in loaded down with bags, and shaking his head. "Lorelai Gilmore, you are the only…well make that one of the only women I know who can pack two months worth of clothes for a one week trip," he said exasperatedly but smiling.

"Just bring them in there," Laura said smiling and pointed it down to the guest room. Lorelai wandered into the kitchen and took a glass down from one of the cupboards. She filled a glass with water and took a long drink.

"I don't know how to do this," she suddenly heard her mother whispering.

"You'll be fine," Richard whispered back. "Don't worry,"

"Richard…I don't remember her," the voice sounded shaky.

"It's alright Emily. It's going to be alright,"

"But Richard…how can I…"

"Hey," he whispered gently, "Come here,"

There was a time when such a thing would have disgusted her, but suddenly Lorelai put down the cup and went quietly around the corner. Her parents were at the door now, and Lorelai smiled as she watched her father tenderly put a finger under her mother's chin and lift it up to meet him. Gently, he reached down and kissed her, and then rested his hand on her cheek. "It will be fine," he said. Lorelai quietly tiptoed back into the kitchen and then cleared her throat as she walked back out.

"Are you leaving Dad?" she asked as she came around the corner.

"Yes, I believe I better," he said. "Early day tomorrow, but I will see both of you girls for dinner. Have fun," he said, trying to sound cheerful.

"Bye Dad," Lorelai said and suddenly she felt like she was three years old being left with the nanny. How weird was that when she was being left with her own mother.

"Bye Lorelai," Richard replied and kissed her on her cheek. "Don't worry," he whispered in her ear. He then kissed his wife on the cheek again and then he was gone and there was silence. Both of them shifted uncomfortably, staring at their feet.

"Are you hungry?" Laura finally asked.

Lorelai smiled, "Starving,"

They went into the living room and Lorelai sat down at the table while Laura went into the kitchen, "What do you like to eat?" she asked as she opened up the refrigerator.

"Anything is fine Mom," Lorelai answered.

"I went grocery shopping this morning. I asked Richard what some of your favorite things were. He didn't know a whole lot. Guess that's what comes of having a maid do your grocery shopping and…I am really rambling on…sorry," she blushed and turned back to the refrigerator.

"I can make you a grilled cheese sandwich, or a salad or I bought some chicken nuggets too."

"Whatever Mom…whatever's fine."

Feeling she was rapidly failing at the mom thing, Laura closed the refrigerator and leaned over the counter. "Want to get a pizza?" she asked.

For the past few hours Lorelai had felt like she had entered the Twilight Zone, her father had told her over the phone that her mother was different—really different, but she had never expected this. There sat her mother, on the other side of the table, one leg drawn up towards her chest and eating pizza.

"So Sookie is the cook right?" she asked.

"Yes, and she's my best friend—girl friend that is, and besides Rory,"

"And the concierge is Michel, and he's French?"

"Yes, and a major pain in the butt,"

Laura laughed as she took another bite of pizza and suddenly Lorelai felt tears stinging in her eyes. She didn't think she would ever hear that sound again.

"So, tell me about Luke," Laura asked, after another bite of pizza. Lorelai suddenly felt her throat constricting. Just how much had Dad filled her in on the past? The fact that she had never liked Luke, had tried to break them up and humiliate him every chance she got?

"He owns a diner. He's a brilliant business man, and he's just…wonderful Mom. Really…he's just wonderful."

Laura smiled as if she knew the secret about what it meant to have a wonderful man, and leaned over the table, "Are you happy?" and suddenly the tears that had threatened to fall made good on their threat as Lorelai allowed them to spill over. All of her life she had waited to hear those words from her mother and that weren't spoken sarcastically. That's why she had been so angry at the vow renewal. Oh, she could cover it up with how angry she was at her for inviting Christopher to the wedding, the weeks of Hell she had gone through after that when she and Luke were broken up, but deep down inside she was angry because she was hurting, her pain was so deep and so raw that she couldn't bare it any longer. So, she had turned against her, the woman she had secretly craved to be close to and told her they were through. All she had wanted was for her mother to be happy for her and when that didn't happen…she couldn't bear to have her mother at all.

"Hey…you okay?" Laura asked, concern etched over her features.

Lorelai smiled and wiped away her tears, "Yeah Mom, I'm just tired."

"Well, your room is all ready for you," Laura responded, leading her to the first bedroom on the right of the hall. There was a bed with a white bed post and lavender bed spread over it, and a matching dresser and night stand.

"It isn't much," Laura said quietly.

"It's great Mom," Lorelai said.

"Well, I'll let you settle in," she said and closed the door. Lorelai was exhausted, she changed into her pajamas and then brushed her teeth and climbed into bed. A few minutes later, she heard a soft knock at the door.

"Come in," she called.

Laura opened the door, "Do you need anything?" she asked.

"No, thanks Mom, I'm fine."

"A glass of water? Are you warm enough? Do you want a night light or something?"

Lorelai smiled and shook her head, "No, I'll be fine Mom. Thanks."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, thank you, and Mom…yes, I am very happy."

Laura smiled, "Good…that's really good. Well, I'll see you in the morning."

"Mom?" Lorelai called as Laura started out the door. This was going to take some getting used to! "Yes?" she answered turning towards her.

"Why did you wait so long to send for me?" she asked. "I would have come. I would have come in a second."

Laura sighed and sat down on the side of the bed, "I was afraid. All of a sudden I had a husband who had given up his job for me. I was trying to get to know him. I had a job, I had a life here that I had to keep going…but it was more than that. I was afraid I would hurt you because I couldn't remember you. I can't imagine what this has been like for you. I wish I could remember."

Lorelai reached over and placed a hand on her mother's arm. "It's okay Mom. Dad and I are here. We'll help you."

Laura smiled, "I'm so glad you came Lorelai. I feel better just having you here."

Lorelai smiled back, "I'm glad I came too Mom."

Laura patted Lorelai's hand and then quietly went to the door and turned out the lights. "Good night," she whispered.

"Good night Mom,"

Laura was exhausted herself, but decided to stay up and read for awhile. She was surprised at how comforting it felt to have someone in the next room over. She sat back against her pillow and thought about what they would do tomorrow. She had cancelled all of her lessons, she wanted the day to just be hers and Lorelai's. Hopefully, they would talk and she could get to know her better. She laid back in the bed and then suddenly wondered if Lorelai really was warm enough. The evenings were still a little cool. She hurried out of bed and grabbed a blanket out of the hall closet. She opened the door quietly and found her daughter was sleeping already. She tiptoed over and put the extra blanket on her, and then gently caressed her hair. How could she have given birth to someone so beautiful? Very carefully, she reached down and kissed the top of the silky black head. She was liking this mom thing. With a daughter this great…she was liking it a lot.

_The man had bright yellow pants. He was pudgy around the middle and had black stubble all over his chin. He walked closer to her and she saw it in his eyes. She was shaking—shaking from cold and from the fear. _

"_Mam, I know this is difficult, but we have searched all over for your mother. We believe she didn't survive." _

_She shook her head, no—it wasn't true. Her mother was Emily Gilmore and Emily Gilmore would not be pulled under by anything. Not some stupid river. _

"_Mam, there is simply no way she could have survived. We have searched down the river for miles. The water is too cold…she…well, I'm very sorry Mam." _

_She had started to scream. She couldn't stop screaming. _

"Mom!" she breathed and sat up suddenly, and wondered where in the world she was. Then she remembered—she was in her mother's house, in California, her mother who didn't remember her and wanted to know if she was happy with Luke. It wasn't a dream was it? Some horrible awful dream that God or demons were taunting her with. No, it was real, her mother was alive. That was all that mattered. She was alive and she was okay. Quietly, Lorelai slipped out of bed, and walked into the next room.

She just wanted to see her.

She knocked gently on the door and when there was no answer, she peered inside. The lamp at the bedside was still turned on, and her mother was lying against the pillow, glasses still on, and a book had fallen against her when she had had drifted off to sleep. Lorelai carefully went up to her, and put her hand over her mouth as she saw the title of the book,

"Becoming a Mommy"

Carefully, she took off her glasses and laid them on the nightstand, then took the book and put it next to them. Then, gently, she took the covers and pulled them over her mother. Gently, she reached over and kissed the top of the reddish brown head.

"I love you Mommy," she whispered, and turned off the light.


	17. Being Mommied

Disclaimer: This is an original story based upon the characters of Gilmore Girls. No profit will be made from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Note: Thank you for all the feedback on the last chapter. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to update again. I have no excuse except life. I hope you enjoy this next installment.

When Lorelai woke up that next morning, she was totally confused. She was in a strange bedroom, but the smells that were emanating under the door were of home. Bacon, coffee, eggs—she was certain that she was going to walk out of this strange bedroom and find Luke standing in the kitchen making breakfast for her. She got out of bed, opened the door and followed her nose around the hall to the kitchen. But it wasn't Luke that was making breakfast; it was a woman, who had a light blue blouse and jeans on with blue checked apron and her hair pulled back in a pony tail—a woman that bore a striking resemblance to her mother. Lorelai rubbed her eyes for a minute, certain that she was dreaming and then it all came back to her. This was her mother's house in California, her mother who had apparently become Betty Crocker.

"Good Morning," Laura said smiling as she looked up and saw her daughter standing in the doorway. "Did you sleep alright?"

"Yes, I did," Lorelai answered. "Thank you. That smells amazing Mom,"

Laura smiled and motioned for her to sit down at the table. "It'll be ready in a minute," she said.

Laura brought over two plates and two mugs of steaming coffee. Lorelai took a fork of food and was amazed as she bit in to it. "Mom—this is amazing," she said.

"You're just saying that," Laura blushed.

"Seriously Mom, I am a serious critique of breakfast food and you could put Luke out of business."

"Well thank you," Laura said smiling "I'm glad you like it," she said, feeling overjoyed at the praise. "What would you like to do today?" she asked after biting in to her own breakfast. "We have all day. I cancelled all my students so I'm all yours."

Lorelai looked up at her mother—who was this woman?

"_Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!" She came running in to the living room. _

"_Lorelai, please stop shouting. What is it?" her mother asked, not looking up from the paper work she was filling out for some symphony function. _

"_It's snowing! It's snowing Mommy!" Lorelai shouted enthusiastically. "Come out side and play with me! PLEASE!" _

"_Lorelai, please lower your voice. I can't come right now. I am very busy." Her mother said. "Go find Natalie. She'll go outside and play with you." _

_That moment was forever burned in Lorelai's mind when in her six year old heart she had begun to fear loosing the woman who was the center of her world. She had always had nannies, Natalie was nice and always kept tootsie rolls in her apron pocket. Mrs. Harrington spoke in a funny accent and had told her stories about England, Georgina could throw a great fast ball. Helen had always helped her with her homework. But Mommy—Mommy was her whole world, Mommy had long beautiful hair that Lorelai helped brush when she was getting ready to go out. Mommy sang to her and held her in her arms when she was afraid. Mommy always kissed her goodnight. Mommy called her, "Mommy's Little Angel." _

_Now as her mother spent more time with "Simfony," and "DAR" she realized that these things were taking her Mommy away from her, and whoever they were, she hated them because they were now more important than she was. She sadly walked back up the stairs, her little heart only understanding that she was loosing her best friend. Too heartbroken to ask Natalie to be a substitute, she put on her coat and mittens and went outside to play alone in the snow. _

"Lorelai?" her mother interrupted her thoughts. "Are you alright?"

"Yes, Mom I'm fine," Lorelai said taking another bite of food. "Whatever you would like to do Mom. I'd love to do some wedding shopping while I'm here—and I'd love for you to come with me."

Laura's face brightened at the suggestion and Lorelai enjoyed seeing the look of delight that came into her mother's features. "We'll go into the city this afternoon," Laura said.

They finished their breakfast and then Lorelai smiled, "I have a surprise for you," she said as Laura took the dishes.

"What is it?" Laura asked.

"Dad gave it too me last night, he said he wanted the two of us to go through it together."

"What is it?" Laura asked again.

Lorelai nodded towards the living room. "Something from home."

Laura put down the plates in the sink and followed Lorelai into the living room.

"Sit down," Lorelai said and then went back into her room. When she came out she was carrying a large cream colored album covered completely in pearls. Lorelai brought it back to the couch and sat down next to her mother. She opened the front of the album and delicately embossed in gold on a thin layer of sheer paper was "Lorelai." Under the piece of sheer paper there was a large picture of baby Lorelai dressed in an elaborate christening gown her thick head of black hair already curling.

"Oh my goodness," Laura breathed and took the book from Lorelai, brushing a hand over the baby's face as if she was touching something sacred.

"Dad thought going through it with me might help you remember something," Lorelai said quietly, her insides bursting with pride at seeing her mother's reaction to seeing her baby pictures.

Laura nodded slightly and Lorelai turned the page. On the next page there was a picture of the expectant Emily. Lorelai hadn't seen that picture in years and it took her breath away to look at it now. She had never really realized what a beautiful woman her mother really was. Her hair was redder then, and half was up in a fancy twist and the other half fell gently around her shoulders. She was dressed elegantly but simply, her delicate hands placed gently on her expectant belly. It was the eyes that Lorelai noticed the most though. Her eyes were shining. She was so happy. Lorelai had to swallow hard as the realization came to her.

_It was me. She was happy because she was expecting me. _

She turned the pages and there were a few that Richard had taken as they were on their way to the hospital. Lorelai giggled and pointed to the one that her father had taken right in the middle of his wife making some sort of threat against him as she was getting in the car. Laura shrugged and shook her head. On the next page, Lorelai eyes started to sting as she saw the picture of her mother, hair loose and wet, no makeup on, her face showing signs of the pain that she had endured, tenderly holding in her arms a baby that was staring at her in rapt attention.

"Looks like I was crazy about you from the beginning," Laura whispered. Lorelai turned to her and smiled as a tear escaped her eyes. Lorelai turned the page again and the next page was the christening, the baby and the elegant white gown. The proud parents standing out side the church. The next few pages made Lorelai smile, there were pictures she hadn't seen in years, pictures she had completely forgotten about. There were pictures of her first smiles, her first tooth. There was one of her and Dad together on the couch. Dad was asleep, his head laid back on the couch and she was nestled in the crook of his arm contently asleep as well.

Laura smiled at the pictures as well, feeling that perhaps Richard was right, she had been a good mother. She studied each picture, trying so hard to remember something anything about being the smiling young mother in the photographs. Soon there were other women in the photographs. Women who were wearing drab outfits with aprons. As Lorelai got older during the photographs, the more she was holding hands with these women, doing things with these women. "Who are the other people?" Laura suddenly asked. "The women? Who are they? Are they the maids?"

Lorelai suddenly felt uncomfortable. "No, Mom…they're my nannies." She hoped it would come out nonchalant, informative. She didn't want the bitterness and regret that she felt to come through—not now.

Laura's heart sank, "Nannies?" she asked after a few moments.

"It's just the way things were done Mom. Nannies raised the kids," she said, hoping her mother would drop it at that although secretly she was touched that she seemed so disappointed.

Laura turned back to the book and silently started turning the pages. She had looked through Josie's photograph albums once at her house. They were filled of pictures of family picnics at the park, the boys wrestling in the mud, the girls in fancy dress up clothes putting on plays. They weren't anything like these pictures. There were family pictures, but as time went on they were always formal pictures, the three of them dressed in elegant clothes going to some function. Little by little the brightness she had seen in the dark haired little girl seemed to dim, duty taking over. She turned the page again and smiled as there was a picture of her daughter out in the snow, her face bright and happy, her hands thrown in the hair as the little pieces of lace danced around her.

"I remember that day," Lorelai said, "I never knew you took a picture of it."

Suddenly Laura felt hot tears spilling over onto her cheeks. She turned and looked at Lorelai and suddenly put her head on her daughter's shoulder, crying softly.

If Lorelai had been surprised at her mother eating pizza, or cooking breakfast, it absolutely paled in comparison to how completely shocked she was as her mother put her head on her shoulder and started to cry. She started to panic—she didn't know what to do. This was the woman who believed that you showed no weakness to your child, a daughter was a daughter not a friend. This was the same woman she had offered a listening ear to in the garden knowing full well that her mother would be hung by her toenails in front of the DAR in Bloomingdales before she would confide in Lorelai. This was the same woman who freaked out the night they were at the steak house together, telling her that there was a way for a mother to behave in front of her daughter. This was the same woman who had told her that she wasn't taught to be best friends with her daughter. Now this woman was crying on her shoulder, wanting a comfort she wasn't seeking from her friends, wasn't even seeking from her husband. She had come to her daughter. At that moment Lorelai realized what a daughter could be to her mother, what Rory had always been to her, and she gently put her arm around her mother's shoulder and put her head on the top of her mother's. It felt so weird, like a strange yoga position her body wasn't used to. But it felt nice…really nice.

"I don't remember any of it," Laura said after a few minutes. "I'm so sorry Lorelai, I don't remember anything."

"It's okay Mom," Lorelai whispered soothingly as if she was trying to reassure Rory when she was a child.

"I want to remember Lorelai," Laura said, "I want to remember so badly."

"I know you do Mom."

They sat there for a few more moments in silence and then Lorelai whispered, "Mom, if you want to remember so badly, why don't you come home?"

"But what if I never do?" Laura said looking up at her. "This life is all I know. I don't know if I can leave it behind and go back to a world I don't remember. Do you know how scary that sounds? Leaving everything you know to start a new life?"

Lorelai tightened her grip around her mother and remembered back years ago, when her mother had first seen the place she had lived in after she had left home. She had tried to make it up to her granddaughter by decorating a new room, trying to buy her all the things she had never had. Lorelai had been attacked that night, unable at that time to see the pain that was driving the anger. She had told Rory that night that she wished just once her mother could really hear her. Now, she realized for the first time in a really long time, she was really hearing her mother.

"Yeah Mom," she said. "I do know how scary that is."

Laura guessed she was talking about leaving home and strangely a sharp pain stabbed at her somewhere, but she tried to ignore it. "I'm not as strong as you Lorelai," she whispered.

"You're wrong Mom," Lorelai replied. "You are one of the strongest people I know. We'll all be there. Dad, me, Rory…" she paused and thought about how long it had been since she had said the words to her mother's face. The words seemed to sit on her tongue, but here she was hugging her mother, letting her mother cry on her shoulder. She might as well go all the way…"We all love you Mom,"

Laura looked up at her and smiled, "Thank you Lorelai," she said and brushing away her tears suddenly sat up and the moment of vulnerability was gone as quickly as it had come. "Thank you for showing me those pictures," she said, "Now, we have a busy day ahead of us. Come help me with the dishes and then we'll hit the town."

Lorelai smiled—her mother saying, "hit the town" was just weird. Her mother doing dishes—that was freaky. Her mother telling her to come help—she was glad there were some things she still recognized in this woman. "Yes Mam," she said.

They set up an assembly line with Emily washing and Lorelai rinsing and drying. Lorelai couldn't get over seeing her mother's hands in dishwater. They were chatting back and forth about the inn and about the piano students. Laura was telling Lorelai about the progress Jordan Jones was making. She was so deep in conversation and so unused to having someone to do dishes with that she didn't notice that when she handed the large kitchen knife to Lorelai, Lorelai didn't quite have a handle on it and it slide out of her hand making a large cut as it clattered into the water. Lorelai yelped in pain, and Laura immediately turned to her. As blood started to seep out of Lorelai's hand, the poor mother completely lost it.

"Oh Lorelai!" she cried out and started fumbling for a dish towel anything to put on the hand.

"It's not that bad Mom," Lorelai winced. Really, it's not that bad,"

Laura took her daughter's hand in her shaking hands, "The cut is deep! Lorelai, the cut is deep! You're going to bleed to death Lorelai…you think that's not serious!"

Lorelai put the clean dishrag her mother had given her and the wound and held it tight, trying to stop the bleeding.

"What do we do?" Laura cried.

"I think I'm going to need some stitches Mom. We're going to need to go to the hospital."

"The hospital! Oh Lorelai! The hospital! Oh it's all my fault, I almost cut off your hand!"

"Mom, is there anyone you can call? Someone that can take us to the hospital?" Lorelai asked, trying not to show how much pain she was in.

"I'll drive you to the hospital," Laura cried. "Right now, I'll take you to the hospital. I'll drive you there and I'll tell the doctor, 'This is my daughter Lorelai and I'm her mother who almost cut off her hand!"

"Oookay Mom," Lorelai said, "Once again who can you call to drive us to the hospital because I can't drive, my hand is bleeding and you are having some sort of very strange although I would have to say slightly hysterical nervous breakdown."

"Josie!" Laura cried. "I'll call Josie, she'll take us to the hospital," she hurried over to the phone and picked it up. It fell out of her hands and clattered to the floor.

"Mother," Lorelai said, "I cut my hand. I am not going to deliver a baby, my appendix didn't burst, I'm not having a heart attack although I think you could be headed towards one."

If her mother had heard her, she gave no indication. She grabbed the phone and dialed the number. As it started ringing, she put her hand over her chest as if to keep the air inside of it. As soon as Josie answered Laura went crazy talking so fast that finally Lorelai had to take the phone away from her.

"Hello?" Lorelai said.

"Um…hi, who was that?" a voice said on the other line.

"That was my mother…I guess you know her as Laura Baker,"

"Oh! You must be Lorelai! It is so nice to meet you! Um…Honey, is your mother okay?"

"Oh yes, she's fine, I just cut my hand pretty deep when we were doing the dishes, and I think I'm going to need stitches. I was wondering if you could drive us to the hospital,"

"Oh why sure Honey, I'll be right there," she said and hung up the phone. Lorelai put her hand over the dishtowel that was now red and turned to her mother who was sitting at the table trying to catch her breath.

"Is she coming? How long will it take her to get here?" the poor woman cried.

Lorelai smiled sympathetically, she had been through the same thing herself. "She seems really nice Mom," she said, trying to lighten the situation.

Laura changed the dishtowel on Lorelai's hand and then started pacing the living room. As soon as Josie's car pulled up, she hurried Lorelai out the door, "Does it hurt? Has it stopped bleeding yet? Are you allergic to any medications? I don't even know if you are allergic to any medications!" Laura said as she put her arm around her daughter. Once they were out the door, Laura turned to Josie. "What in Heaven's name took you so long? Can't you see the girl is bleeding?" she yelled. Josie was unfazed by this sudden outburst and turned to Lorelai.

"Hi, I'm Lorelai the bleeding daughter," Lorelai said smiling.

"Hi I'm Josie the slow best friend," Josie said returning the smile

"Can we please do this later!" Laura yelled, and in spite of the pain she was in, Lorelai had to laugh. Laura turned to her and for the first time since Lorelai had seen her, she actually looked like her mother, "Would you just get in the car before you bleed to death," Laura yelled.

"Yes Mam," Lorelai obeyed and they got in the car.

Richard was having a pretty good day at work. The California office agreed with him, it was always sunny and warm there, the people were nice and most importantly, there was no Floyd. He found that the days went by quicker than they had in years because he was actually enjoying his work. Today, his mind was drifting back and forth between his work and his wife and daughter. He prayed that everything was going alright between them. He was finishing up some papers on the Nelson account when his secretary Carolyn popped her head in. "Mr. Gilmore, your wife is on line two." Smiling delightedly and hoping that it was Emily who had made the reference to being his wife, he picked up the phone, "Emily Hello?"

The first time scared him half to death as he only got "Lorelai" and "hospital," from his wife's hysterical montage.

He told her to calm down and tell him what was going on. The second time around he got "Lorelai," "hospital," "cut" and either "hand" or "band." Finally he got Josie on the phone and she explained to him that Lorelai had cut her hand, it wasn't bad but had to have about six stitches put in it. Richard told Josie thank you for taking care of them, and then told her to tell Emily that he would be home as soon as he got off work. Suddenly, Emily's voice was back on, "Richard Gilmore, I swear to all high heaven if you don't come over to the hospital right now, they are either going to be hospitalizing me or you next! I may not remember you, but I can tell you I will not like you very much if you don't get over here right now!"

Maybe he was afraid she would make good on her threat, maybe he was worried about Lorelai, and maybe it felt so wonderful to hear her yelling at him again that he dropped his books and hurried out the door to the hospital.

When he got there, he found his daughter fully stitched and wrapped, and both his wife's friend and his daughter trying to convince his wife that everything was fine.

"Lorelai?" he said, coming into the room and putting a hand on her back, "You okay?"

"Yes Dad, I'm fine, please inform the psycho-lady that all is well and we can go home now," Lorelai answered.

"Emily," Richard turned to his wife, "She's okay." He noticed that his wife was trembling and he gently took her hand and led her out of the room. He took her down the hall, and when they were out of sight, he opened his arms to her and she willingly stepped into his embrace. He closed his arms around her and she nestled into the comfort those arms provided.

"Emmy," he whispered, "She's fine."

She took her head off his chest and looked up at him, "I know she's fine Richard…it's just, for all intents and purposes this is my first real day as a mother and she almost kills herself."

"Darling," he said, smiling slightly, "She just cut her hand. She has six stitches. She broke her arm when she was five years old,"

"How did I ever survive motherhood?" she asked and then buried her head back in his chest.

Richard took the rest of the day off, and took his wife and daughter home. For the rest of the day, Laura hovered over Lorelai and though Lorelai kept assuring her that she was fine, there was something about being mommied that was agreeing with her. All of her life she had tried to be so independent, tried to show that she didn't need anyone. Now, being almost forty years old, soon to be married, a mother herself, Lorelai found she was enjoying this new feeling she had never felt before from her own mother. That night, after her father had left, the two of them watched a movie together and then went to bed. Her mother asked her four more times if she needed anything, if her hand hurt, if she needed any Tylenol. After her mother said goodnight and went into the other room, Lorelai felt strangely as if she were both a forty year old woman and a six year old girl. It was as if she could finally tell that frightened child what she had really known all along.

_Mommy wasn't going anywhere. You…Lorelai are the center of Mommy's world too._

She felt happy as she snuggled down in the covers and realized that she had almost forgotten what if was like to feel…safe.

And in the morning when she stirred awake, the first sight that caught her eyes was her mother, sleeping in the little chair next to her bed. Lorelai sat up and smiled at her poor mommy, well knowing those nights when you couldn't sleep because you were worrying about your baby. She snuggled back into the covers, and completely unaware that her father had had the same thoughts just a few days earlier, she laid awake and wondered if she really wanted her mother to get her memory back.


	18. The Perfect Day

Disclaimer: This is an original story based upon the characters of Gilmore Girls. No profit will be made from this story and no copyright infringement is intended. 

Author's Note: Again I have to apologize for being so long in updating. Life has been crazy these last few weeks, my sister got married and my computer has been going crazy on me. But I'm back now! Thanks for being patient with me. I hope you enjoy this next installment!

Laura Baker couldn't remember laughing so hard. The four days that Lorelai had been with her had been the best of the short life she had lived as Laura Baker. Her girl--she loved the thought of that--her girl, was beautiful, smart, and so funny! Laura had watched in amazement as Lorelai interacted with her students. She had a magical pied piper way with them. Lorelai had met all of her friends and it seemed as if they had all known eachother for years. She had an infectious charm that seemed to light up everyone around her. The Tuesday morning ritual of coffee and donuts with Josie had never been so much fun before, Lorelai had both of them rolling with laughter. When Lorelai excused herself to go to the restroom, Laura watched her with glowing affection. "You're liking this Mom thing aren't you?" Josie said, reaching out and putting her hand on her friends arm. Laura nodded, "With a kid that great--how can I not?" she replied, and then suddenly her face turned sad and she sighed heavily. "What?" Josie asked. "She deserves better Jo. She deserves more than me." "Laura, don't say that," Josie replied. "It's true Josie. Look at her. She's nearly forty years old. I can't remember anything--her first tooth, her first step, her first day at school." "Laura, she understands that. She knows it will take time. You just have to be patient," Josie tried to comfort her friend and then saw something deeper in the eyes she had come to know so well. "There's something else isn't there--Laura, what is it?" Laura's eyes narrowed and she swallowed hard, "Jo, I've watched you with your kids. I've been over to your house for barbeques and birthdays. There were times when I would just watch you and I would imagine what I would be like as a mother. I would imagine myself playing with my children, making cookies with them. And now I found my kid and she's great." "So what's the problem?" Josie prompted. Suddenly Laura's eyes filled up with tears, "I'm afraid I wasn't a good mother Jo," "Laura--come on, you don't know that," Josie said, squeezing her friends arm. "I saw pictures Josie. I saw pictures of nannies--nannies raised my child. Richard told me before I saw her, she left home when she got pregnant. We were estranged for sixteen years. What kind of mother could I have been?" she whispered bitterly and then as soon she saw Lorelai emerging from the restroom she madly tried to wipe away the tears. "Laura," Josie pleaded.  
"I have to make it up to her Jo," Laura interrupted. "I have to."

Richard beamed when he looked up from his mountain of paperwork and saw his wife at his window waving at him. She had nevre come to the office before and for a moment he just looked at her and smiled. She was still that same girl, the one with the long hair that glimmered in the sunset. She smiled at him through the window, blushing a little as she realized he was simply enjoying looking at her. That smile, that gorgeous infectious smile that lit up his heart. She used to smile like that at him all the time when they were first married, and when the baby was born. But as time went on, and her duty took over her more and more, criticism and dispproving looks more often the case than not. Then when she went through her darkest hours after Lorelai and Rory had left them, for sixteen years it seemed as though that smile was only brought out for special occasions like Grandmother Josephine's sterling silver tea set. It delighted him when the girls came back into their lives how her beautiful smile was reborn.

There was a light tapping at the window that brought him out of his lovely daydream and he looked up to his wife regarding him with a comical look. "Can I come in?" she mouthed and he quickly got up and opened the door for her, putting his hand on her back as he led her into the room. Shivers went through her spine as he touched her. He always did that now, put his hand on her back whenever they were walking anywhere and she loved the feeling of his strong hand against her. "I was wondering if you were ever going to let me in?" she smiled playfully as he led her to a chair. "What can I say," he shrugged and threw up his hands in hopeless defense, "I like looking at you." She blushed again and standing up again, lightly kissed his lips which sent Richard to the moon. "What can I do for you Emmy?" he whispered gently as she sat down again. "Take the afternoon off," she replied, still smiling like a foolish teenager. "I want to go on a picnic." For a moment Richard just continued to look at her, and then the real world set in and he remembered the mound of paper work he had on his desk. "Emily I would love to," he replied "I just have got a lot of work. I don't think today is a good day, how about tomorrow?" To his suprise, his wife's disappoited face cut him like a knife and he wondered if she had been looking at him like that for forty years whenever he had cancelled something or been too busy for her. Had he never noticed that look before?  
"Richard please," she said looking up at him. "This is important"  
"What is it?" he asked. "It's such a nice day, and I want to go on a picnic--just the three of us. You know--Mom, Dad, kid." "Honey have you been watching the Leave it to Beaver reruns again?" he asked smiling which promptly earned him an elbowing in the ribs. "Don't make fun of me Richard," she pouted, "I'm serious!" "I know you are Darling," he said standing up and kissing the top of her head. "We'll go on a picnic, sometime before Lorelai leaves." She caught his hand as he turned back to his desk and held on to it. He turned back and saw the seriousness in her eyes. "No Richard," she said, "Not sometime, not tomorrow--today, right now...please."

"Lorelai? Lorelai are you here?" Laura called as she walked into the house. "Yeah Mom, I'm here," Lorelai called back as she came out of the bedroom. "I just got off a conference call with the inn. Things are just fine," she called as she rounded the corner and then stopped short at the suprise of seeing both her parents in the hallway and a look on her mother's face like she had just won the lottery. "Lorelai," her mother said excitedly, "Let's go on a picnic. Just the three of us. There's a lake not far from here." "A picnic?" Lorelai repeated incredously. As different as her mother was in this new life, the idea of a picnic at a lake from the woman who said eating outside was for animals, was taking her a minute to digest. "Yes," Laura nodded, "A picnic, just the three of us. It will be something nice that we can all do together." "Mom have you been watching the Leave it to Beaver reruns again?" Lorelai asked as she regarded her mother curiously. Richard chuckled at that, which again earned him a poke in the ribs. "You two are impossible!" Laura sighed exasperatedly. "Come on, it will be fun." Lorelai smiled and nodded, "Let's do it!" she said and shook her head as she watched her mother hurry around the kitchen getting things together.

"_Mommy! Mommy!" she had run into the house, slamming the door behind her. "For goodness sake Lorelai!" her mother had come around the corner. "Do you have to act like a raving lunatic everytime you come in the house? Can't you behave like a proper little lady?" The criticsism went unheeded, and she jumped up and down excited, the dark black curls bouncing up and down. "Mommy, there having a kite flying day at school and we get to have the last hour off and everyone is going to be there and fly kites in the school field and Taylor and Jenny are going to be there even through their in the other class and we all get to fly kites and everyone is coming, all the moms and dads and it's going to be so fun because we're going to fly kites and Kassy Granger said that she is going to bring her kite that's shaped like a dragon that her daddy brought back from Japan and did Daddy bring back any kites from his trips and it is going to be so much fun and please please please please say that you and daddy will come and fly kites with me!" she finally stopped and caught her breath. Her mother shook her head in exasperation and brushed an affectionate finger along side of her daughter's cheek. "You tire me, you know that?" she said and started picking up the dropped books and school jacket. The little girl's heart started to sink as she knew what was coming. "Mommy...will you come?" she asked again, "Please?" "Sweetheart," her mother said, and the little girl knew it was for certain then, her mother had half a dozen ways of saying "Sweetheart," and this was the tone she used when she disapproved of something Lorelai wanted to do. "Mommy please?" she said again and her mother shook her head, "We just don't have time. Daddy works during the day, you know that and I have a lot of social responsibilites. I can't take time away from them for something like flying a kite. Maybe we can fly kites another time," she said, and then brushed a hand over the child's head. "Go get something to eat from the kitchen, Kristianna made cookies this afternoon." "Yes Mommy," she said and retreated to the kitchen. When the day of kiteflying came, she kept hoping that she would see her mommy and daddy coming around the corner of the school, ready with a nice new red kite. She waited and waited, watching the other children with their parents, until Miss Harper came up to her and asked her to fly her kite with her. Over the years, after that day she couldn't bear to fly a kite again. Even when her own child was born, she couldn't fly a kite without remembering that day--waiting for a mother and father and a red kite that never came._

"Are you ready to go?" her mother asked with a smile as she brought out the picnic basket and began packing it. "Yeah Mom," she said, and started helping her pack the food. "You okay?" Laura said after a minute. Lorelai turned back to her and smiled, "Yeah Mom, I'm fine." "You're sure?" Laura prodded. Lorelai stopped packing and turned to her mother, "Mom," she started and then swallowed, "Can we get a kite? To fly today I mean?" Laura smiled, "That's a great idea. We'll stop at Wal-mart on the way." "A red one?" Lorelai asked. Laura nodded, "Red it is."

Lorelai felt slightly ridiculous and more than a little confused as she followed her parents out of the car down to the lake. Here she was, almost forty years old, mother to a Yale student, owner of her own business, and yet she was going on a picnic with her parents and feeling as though she was seven years old. She watched her parents walk in front of her, her father looking more relaxed and happy then he had in years, his suit jacket and bow tie gone. Her mother had her hair pulled back and was wearing a comfortable shirt and khaki capris. She smiled as she watched her father reach his hand over and take her mother's hand in his. Her mother looked over at him, and blushed as one curl fell in the middle of her forehead. They finally got to a good spot and spread out the blanket. Richard picked up the kite and turned towards Lorelai, "Ready to give this a try Lori-Tori?" he asked. "Dad!" Lorelai whined, "You called me that when I was four!" Richard laughed, a rich hearty laugh that made both of his girls smile and at that moment, Lorelai decided that just for a little while, she would be seven years old. She had been a grownup for so long, since that day when she had taken the pregnancy test in the high school gym room to confirm what she had already known for weeks and watched as the strip turned a fateful pink. Since that day she had taken over responsibility of herself and Rory, giving birth to a child when she was a child herself. Leaving home was the hardest thing she had ever done, starting a new life for her and her child, working ten hour work days and taking care of a child when she got home. She did not regret one thing about parenthood, Rory was the best thing that had ever happened to her, but she had been an adult for so long, trying so hard to be strong and tough and for one moment--just one moment while she was here with her parents she wanted to pretend she was a little child again. "Let's go!" she said, and grabbed the end of the string. "How do we do this?" Richard asked, staring at his end of the kite as if it were a complex piece of machinery. "Just hold onto the kite Dad," Lorelai said, as she started running, "Let go when I tell you to," Richard held up the kite and Lorelai started running. "Come on Lorelai!" Laura cried out and clapped her hands as though she had the most brilliant daughter who was about to show some feat of magic. Lorelai started running and Richard watched as she ran, her dark hair bouncing along as she ran, her face so happy. Suddenly his heart was filled with regret as he thought about how much he had missed of her life. "Let go!" she shouted and as he let go, the kite sailed up on the wind and Lorelai cried out in delight. "Look it's flying! Daddy look it's flying!" Laura laughed and clapped her hands and Richard hurried over to where Lorelai held the string. "Look at it go!" she shouted again and Richard laughed as he put his hand on her shoulder.

They stayed for two hours, eating lunch and taking a walk around the lake. The weather was perfect, the sun was shining and there was a light breeze. Laura was happy seeing Lorelai happy and for awhile felt that if this was Emily Gilmore's life--these two people, then she could be Emily Gilmore with all her heart and soul. Richard was happy and yet sad because it had only been in loosing his wife that he had fully come to realize how much his family meant to him and it hurt him to think of all the years there could have been more picnics and kiteflying but there weren't because of Floyd, and insurance, and traveling on stupid trips. Lorelai was still pretending to be young, and as she watched her parents holding hands as they made their way to the car she remembered how it had felt to be motherless for so long and wondered how they had been so lucky to have found her again.

That night, after Laura had taught a few lessons, Richard had checked back in at the office and Lorelai had called the inn, the family had dinner together. Lorelai had retreated to her room after that to catch up on some paper work when she heard a song playing. She quietly came out of her room and came around the hall. She put her hand to her mouth as she watched her parents. "Wise men say, only fools rush in, but I can't help...falling in love with you," Her father had taken her mother in his arms who was still wearing her hair tied up with a pen in it, was wearing a dishtowel for an apron and had bare feet. Her brought her close to him and she had laid her head against him as they gently swayed back and forth to the music. Never in her life would Lorelai forget the image of her parents whose love had survived death and a life forgotten, gently dancing together in the kitchen.

Her father went home shortly after that, and Laura and Lorelai stayed up late and watched a movie together. This had become a frequent occasion over the last four nights. After the movie, they both went to bed, and as Lorelai got into bed, she heard a soft knock at the door. "Come in," she called and Laura stuck her head in. "I just wanted to say goodnight," she said smiling. "Goodnight," Lorelai smiled back. There was a moments hesitation and Lorelai regarded her mother curiously and then Laura took a deep breath, "I love you Lorelai," she said. "I love you too Mom," Lorelai replied and Laura blew her a kiss. "Night," she said and then shut the door behind her.

Lorelai smiled as snuggled under the covers, ready to go to sleep and then as reality so often had a way of hitting Lorelai Gilmore across the head, she thought of her mother across the hall, the mother who did things with her, who only cared that Luke was a good man and that she was happy, her mother that respected her and loved her for who she was. The mother across the hall was the one she had wanted all of her life and she was the mother that was trying so desperately to remember her former life. But what would happen if she did? Were Laura Baker and Emily Gilmore the same person? If Laura did indeed remember her former life, would she go back to the criticism, the pearls, and a life separate from the ones she loved? Again, the haunting feeling came back to her that she was not sure if she wanted her mother to get her memory back and for the first time she admitted why. She wasn't sure if she wanted the old Emily Gilmore back after seeing what life was like having Laura Baker as a mother. Running her hands through her hair, she quietly got up and got dressed. Very quietly, she snuck out of the house and hurried down the road. She needed to talk with the one person in the world who would understand what she was feeling and she wondered if he was even feeling it himself. Praying that her mother would not wake up while she was gone, she hurried down the road to her father's apartment.


	19. A Start

Disclaimer: This is an original story based upon the characters of Gilmore Girls. No profit will be made from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Note: Thank you for all the feedback on the last chapter. I appreciate it as always. Things are slower for me, and as long as I can, I will try to update as soon as possible. Sorry the format was so weird yesterday, that was because was being stubborn. Hopefully we won't have the same problem today. Thanks for reading and as always, I hope you enjoy this next installment.

When Richard woke up to the sound of someone pounding on his door and opened it to see his obviously distraught daughter standing there, he literally felt his heart stop. Grabbing her by the shoulders and pulling her into the room, he tried to shout it but it only came out a course whisper.

"Lorelai...what's wrong...is your mother alright?"

She nodded and he felt air being released into his lungs again. Once he took a few deep breaths he realized that it still was 12:30 in the morning and his daughter was here and upset. Suddenly she put her arms around him and buried her head in his chest. It took him a moment to get over the suprise--even though he and Lorelai had been so much closer this past year, this was still something his daughter rarely did. He put his arms around her, gave her a squeeze and then separated himself from her so he could look at her.

"Lorelai, what is it?" he asked.

"Dad..." she said and then paused, looking into his eyes.

"Yes?"

"What are we going to do?" she said and then bit her lower lip.

"What do you mean?" he asked, but already knew the answer to his own question.

"About Mom,"

"What about Mom?" he prodded.

She stepped away from him and running her fingers through her hair again started to pace back and forth.

"Lorelai," he said, trying to sound comforting. "It will just take time, she'll get her memory back and come home. Don't worry about it. Things will be fine."

She blew out an exasperated sigh and sat down on his couch. She put her face in her hands for a moment and then looked back up at him, "That's not what I'm talking about Dad," she said quietly and suddenly overcome with guilt she stared down at the floor. "What are we going to do if she does get her memory back?"

Richard stared at his daughter for a moment and then sat down in the chair next to her.

"Tell me you haven't thought about it," Lorelai said after a few minutes of silence had passed.

"Everyday," came the reply and again both of them stared down at the floor. The only sound in the room was the mantle clock gently ticking away the seconds.

"We'll just have to deal with that as it comes," Richard said finally. "When she does get her memory back, we'll just have to help her."

"Dad," Lorelai said after a minute. "Did you see her today? Did you see how happy she was? She lost her memory and now she thinks she's Mama Walton! What is she going to think when she remembers her old life? How are we going to help her with that?"

"I don't know Lorelai," Richard replied suddenly feeling sad. Why did Lorelai have to bring this up tonight? It was such a lovely day, why couldn't they just keep being happy? He had asked himself the same questions and still had no answers for them.

They sat in silence again, Lorelai gently tracing an outline on the carpet with her foot. "Dad," she whispered and then swallowed hard as she looked up at him, "I don't know if I want her to get her memory back." At that Richard stared at her wide-eyed and she looked away from him. His own guilt at having such a thought surged through him like electricity and in desperate need to cover his tracks and having his own thoughts like that, he felt anger grow up in him at his daughter.

"You don't mean that," he said quietly and she turned back towards him.

"I think I do," she said and it made him more angry to hear her say it so calmly. He stood up and walked over to the window. "Go home Lorelai," he said, "Your mother will be worried about you."

"Dad please," came the reply which sounded so small and weak, "I hate myself for thinking that but it's true. I mean I'm sorry that she's sad she can't remember but I don't know if I really want her to..." The voice sounded smaller and farther away then as she added, "I don't want her to go back to the way she was."

Richard started pacing back and forth, "Lorelai...I don't know what to say to that," he whispered. Suddenly he felt very tired.

"Dad..." Lorelai began again after a few minutes pause, "We have to tell her. We have to tell her what happened, everything, our estrangment, your separation, what happened with the vow renewal, and with Rory. We have to tell her everything."

"No," Richard said suddenly, "No"

'"Dad she's going to find out, we have to tell..."

"No!"

"Dad we have to,"

"I said no!" Richard suddenly shouted and turned to Lorelai, "I am still her husband and I am still your father. I said no and I expect to be obeyed!"

Richard's voice reverberated through the air as he stopped. Lorelai stared at him wideyed, scared and hurt at his sudden outburst. "Well yes sir," she said quietly as she stood up, "You give the orders and I am must obey. I don't know why I came here. This was a stupid idea," she headed towards the door.

Richard watched her and suddenly felt his anger burn hotter. He stood up and followed her to the door, "Do you remember what this past year was like? Do you? Thinking she was dead? You want to go back to that? Are you even happy that we found your mother at all?"

Lorelai kept her head down to the floor, "You are just being stupid now," she said coldly. "Of course I am happy we found Mom. You didn't even hear me. You didn't even hear what I was trying to say."

"I heard you just fine!" Richard shouted, "You said you didn't know if you if you wanted your mother back!"

At that Lorelai turned and fired back, "My mother back? Dad all I have wanted my entire life is for that woman to treat me the way she has in the past four days! Can you for one moment think what this must be like for me? For four days I've had the one thing I've wanted more than anything my whole life. I've had my mother! You think I don't want my mother back?" her voice rose more, "No! I don't want to lose her!"

The sudden image of his wife laying in bed, clutching Julia, taking medications that could not block out the rejection of her only child suddenly started to haunt him. He felt his anger get worse and he didn't know if he was angry at his daughter for saying she didn't want her mother to get her memory back or the old anger coming back that his daughter had left them in the first place. He had never talked about that month to Lorelai--only once had he allowed his anger at his child for leaving them to surface and he had told her of her mother's breakdown. He knew what Lorelai was saying, and even understood to some degree but that face staring out the window waiting for her daughter who would never come home again, was seared into him.

"Go home Lorelai," he said bitterly, "Go back to Stars Hollow. I won't have you destroying your mother's life again. Do you understand me? I won't allow it!"

She stared at him in disbelief, his cutting words taking her breath away. What had she been thinking coming here? How stupid had she been to believe that her father would be somewhat understanding? "Dad," she said, "Who do you think you are to tell me that? I have just as much right to be here as you!"

"Rights! You want to talk about rights!" he yelled back and suddenly Richard felt like as if the floodgates had been opened and all the hurt he had bottled for years was suddenly flowing from him. "No Lorelai, you have no rights here, you gave up those rights when you ran away!"

"Dad that was twenty-three years ago!" Lorelai shouted back. "Why can't you let it go?"

"Oh you're a fine one to talk about letting go aren't you Lorelai!"

"You know what?" she yelled back, "I didn't come over here to fight with you Dad, I came over here because I was feeling something that scared me and I needed to talk to someone and some part of me, some stupid gulliable part of me thought that maybe just maybe after the day today I could talk to you. I am such an idiot! I'm leaving now!" she started to the door.

"That's my girl always running away! That's what you do best isn't it Lorelai?"

She turned back to him, "You don't know anything Dad, you don't know anything about me! I was miserable in that house!"

He stepped towards her, his eyes burning, "Maybe you weren't the only one who was miserable Lorelai. Did you ever once stop to think about that? Did you? Maybe it wasn't any fun for us either watching you turn your back on everything we believed in, everything we wanted for you!"

"Everything that you forced on me! I wanted my own life, I wanted to raise my own child in the way I wanted to! I was miserable! I was unhappy! Don't you care about that at all?"

Richard felt something swell in him and he realized that this was the heart of what he had felt all these years. It wasn't that she had dropped out of school, it wasn't that she had become pregnant, this was the core of his raw anger and hurt towards his daughter all these years and it frightened him a little to hear the instense anger in his voice.

"Why didn't you come to me?" he cried out and suddenly felt tears burning in his eyes. She stared at him in shock and disbelief. He swallowed hard to try and control his emotions and was unsuccessful. He turned back to face her, "For the love of God Lorelai, why didn't you come to me?"

She opened her mouth to say something and shut it again, she bit her lip and looked back up at him. When she finally did speak she sounded like she was small and vunerable again, "Would you have listened to me Dad?" she asked. "Would you have even heard me?"

He felt old, tired and hopeless. Things had been so much better this past year, they had become so much closer and now here they were at 1:00 in the morning and it seemed as though nothing had changed. All this time they had still had this hurt and anger inside of them like a black bubbling acid.

"This was not just about you Lorelai. You were not there when your mother found the letter. You were not there to hear her lying in bed crying night after godforsaken night. You are not the one who had to force her to eat and drink. She couldn't get out of bed! She died that day Lorelai!"

"Dad stop!" Lorelai yelled covering her ears.

"No! I won't stop! You weren't there! I was! You crushed her!"

"Why didn't you tell me that was happening?" she cried out.

"Night after night, morning after morning listening to her cry, and knowing there wasn't anything I could do,"

"You should have told me!" she shouted.

"I didn't know where you were, you scared the hell out of me but I had to be strong for her, she was falling apart, she had a breakdown!"

"You should have told me!" she shouted again.

"Why? What difference would it have made?" he shouted back at her.

"Because I would have come home!" she cried out in a sob. "I would have worked something out, I would have done something different, anything different rather then to make Mom go through that! I didn't know Dad! I was young and scared and I thought I was doing the right thing! I was only seventeen! I had a baby to think about. I never knew that she would take it that way!" she stopped and suddenly broke down crying, "I knew you would be mad but I thought you would be glad to get rid of me--of us, I thought we were just in the way!"

Suddenly Richard stopped and it was like he was seeing his daughter, really seeing his daughter for the first time. He had failed her. He knew it. She had been absolutely right, he wouldn't have heard her. That's why that she hadn't come to him. He staggered back from her, breathing heavily. She took a few apprehensive steps towards him and then placed a hand on his shoulder. He opened his arms and she stepped into them.

"I'm sorry Baby," he whispered, putting his head on hers. She started to cry and he held onto her tighter, putting his hand on the back of her head. "It's going to be alright. Everything will be alright."

"I'm sorry Dad, I'm so sorry for everything,"she said in between sobs.

He reached down and put a finger under her chin, lifting it up to meet his. He stared at her with intensity wanting to be certain she understood him, because for the first time in twenty-three years he felt as though he was finally able to let go. "It's okay, Lorelai, Everything is okay." He put a hand on the side of her face and swallowed hard, "Can you forgive me Lorelai? You were right...I...can you forgive me?" She smiled up at him and nodded.

"Then this is a start?" he asked tentively, "This talk tonight... a real start between the two of us?"

She nodded, "Yeah, it's a start,"

He hugged her to him and then rubbed her back gently as he had done when she was a child. "Come on," he said gently, "I'll take you home,"

He went back into the room to change his clothes and then put a hand on her back as he led her to the door. To their suprise, there was a police car in the parking lot, with two police officers walking up the stairs.

"Excuse me, are you Mr. Gilmore?" they asked, "We had a call of a domestic disturbance in your apartment."

Richard put up his hands, "I am terribly sorry officers, but my daughter and I were just having a disagreement."

"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you a few questions," one of the police officers interrupted.

"Really," Lorelai said, "Everything is fine, just fine."

"We will have to run a report on this," the officer said, and turned towards his car.

Richard chuckled, "Me and my police reports," he said. Under any other circumstances he would have been embaressed or angry, but if a police report was the price he had to pay for the way his daughter was looking at him now, he would gladly be reported a hundred times. Taking off his jacket, and slipping it over his daughters shoulders, he put a hand on her back and led her down the road, "Come on," he said, "If you're mother wakes up and you're not home, we really will need those policemen."


	20. Growing up

Disclaimer: This is an original story based upon the characters of Gilmore Girls. No profit will be made from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Note: Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed the last chapter. I enjoyed writing that one and I'm glad you liked it. I also appreciate all of you who are honest in your reviews. That means a lot to me. Thank you and I hope you enjoy this next installment!

"Honey?" Laura called as she put Lorelai's breakfast on the table, "Have you seen my newspaper this morning?"

Lorelai almost dropped her mascara in the sink and called out, "No Mom, I haven't seen it," she called back and after putting on her best poker face came out of the bathroom.

"That's odd," Laura said placing her breakfast on the table. "I've never not recieved a paper before. Oh well, we can pick one up at the grocery store."

"Yeah Mom sure," Lorelai replied as she started eating her eggs.

"So what would you like for dinner tonight?" Laura asked, starting her own breakfast. "I want it to be something really special."

Lorelai smiled at her mother, "Mom, you don't have to do anything special,"

"Nonsense, of course I do," Laura replied and then watching her girl was suddenly fully aware that this would be the last quiet breakfast the two of them would have for a long time. Lorelai's plane was scheduled to leave early in the morning. It had been such a lovely week. She hated to see it end.

"Is Dad coming over tonight?" Lorelai asked

"Yes he is," Laura replied, "Anything special you want to do? Just the three of us?"

"I don't know Mom," Lorelai said and looking up at her mother it hit her as well that this would be the last breakfast they would have as well and the old fear started to knaw at her. Would this ever happen again? What would happen when her mother came home, got her memory back? "I'll think about it," she said trying to smile. She didn't want to make her last day a sad one.

"Well," her mother said, "Let's get to the store. My first lesson is in forty-five minutes."

"Okay Mom," Lorelai said. "I'll be right there." She went back into her room and hid the newspaper further underneath her clothes.

"Can you imagine?" Laura said for the twelfth time as the two of them carried the groceries into the kitchen. "Every single paper gone--none at the store and none at the newspaper stands on the way home. That is so weird."

"Yeah Mom," Lorelai nodded and smiled slightly as she started putting away the fruit--"Really weird"

They continued to put away groceries and then suddenly Laura said, "Oh for Heaven's sake!"

"What?" Lorelai asked.

"I forgot the strawberries for the pie! I'd go back later but I have to start it right after my lesson, it has to chill for hours!"

"No problem Mom, I'll go back for you while you're doing your lesson,"

"Are you sure?"

"Gee, a trip back to the store, or not having your strawberry pie...not a tough choice."

Laura smiled at the compliment and tossed her the keys to the car.

"Actually Mom, I think I'd rather walk. I'll be back back soon," she said and went out the door. It was a beautiful day and Lorelai enjoyed walking through the town. It was amazing to her how much of a paralell life she and her mom had been living. Her mother had been living in her very own Stars Hollow. She even had a Sookie! Lorelai walked along the road and wondered what it would be like when her mother came home. Would seeing her house and living in her old life jog her memory? What if she never chose to go home? Would her father relocate out here? She chuckled to herself as she remembered back to a time when it had been her fondest dream to have her parents living far away from her. Now, she didn't want that so much. She stopped suddenly as she crossed the entry to the trailer park that was across the street from the grocery store. A dirty little girl, her hair in matted blonde pigtails and wearing a dirty pink jumpsuit had been playing near the entrance and had dropped her doll. Lorelai picked it up and followed the child into the camp. She was in the third trailer in, a gray trailer with shingles pealing off the sides. There were broken down stairs leading to the door and green flower curtains in the window. The yard was littered with dirty broken toys.

"Excuse me Honey," Lorelai said as she approached the yard, "You dropped your doll."

The little girl turned and stared at her. Everything about the child was dirty. Lorelai smiled and handed the doll to her. Just then the screen door opened with a crash and a woman came out. The woman had blonde hair as well, also tied back in a dirty ponytail. She was obviously pregnant, and was wearing a simple blue jumper that was also dirty.

"Marybelle!" she screamed at the little girl. "How many times have I told you not to talk to strangers!"

"I'm sorry," Lorelai started to the child's defense, "She dropped her doll, I was just returning it to her."

The woman stopped short of grabbing the girl and smacking her and looked up at Lorelai, "So, you returned her doll. Thank you very much now leave," she snorted sarcastically.

Under normal circumstances Lorelai would have been offended, maybe would have even given the woman a piece of her mind. But getting her first good look at the woman, there was something in her eyes that made her stop short.

"What is the matter with you rich lady? You want to stare at the poor pitiful people?"

She didn't talk like a woman who belonged in a trailer, she didn't carry herself like a woman who belonged in a trailer and suddenly it occured to Lorelai why.

Because along time ago, she had been a part of a very different world.

_Juliet Hoffman_

_"Juliet! Juliet wait up!" Lorelai called and she hurried down the hall of the school. _

_"Lorelai Darling!" Juliet squealed and held out her arms. The two girls held eachother and jumped up and down excitedly. _

_"I missed you so much," Juliet said after they had broken the hug. "Two weeks is too long! How was Europe?" _

_"I missed you too, Europe was boring as ever. I had to stay in with the tutor practically the entire time. I don't know why Richard and Emily even want me to come along on these stupid trips. I would rather be here with you," she said, and the two girls hugged again. _

_"Are you coming over to my house tonight? You could sleep over! My mom is dying to see you. We'd have so much fun! And I want to hear all about the reunion with Christopher!" _

_"Gee, dinner at the house of normalcy, a night with you talking about my man, versus a night with my pickle-faced parents listening to Mozart? Gee, not a hard decision!" _

_"Okay, come over at six! We'll have a blast!" Juliet squealed again as Lorelai hugged her again. _

_"Mom, I don't care what you say. I'm going to spend the night at Juliet's house!" Lorelai cried as she hurried down the stairs. _

_"May I remind you Young Lady, that this is still my house and you are still my daughter and I say you are staying in tonight! I don't trust Juliet, how do I know you aren't going to be sneaking out and spending the night at Christopher's. Why doesn't Juliet ever come here? Are we not good enough for her? Can she not spend the night at our house?" _

_"Yeah right," Lorelai muttered, "Like anyone would want to spend the night at our house." _

_"What was that?" her mother challenged. _

_Lorelai turned and faced her. "No Mother, Juliet can't spend the night at our house because noone wants to spend time in the house of death. I'm embaressed to bring anyone here!" _

_Her mother took a sharp breath and stared at her, "Well for Heaven's sake why?" her mother cried. "Don't we have nice things? Don't we have a nice house? What is wrong with you that you can't be satsified with what you have? You have a lovely room! What does Juliet's family have that we don't?" _

_"How about nice parents? Parent's who give a rip about their child?" Lorelai spat back and went to the door. _

_Her mother suddenly grabbed her and turned her around, for one moment Lorelai saw the hurt on her face before the anger grew like a concealer covering up a blemish. "You get upstairs right now! You are not leaving this house!" she yelled. _

_"I'm spending the night at Juliet's Mother! I don't care what you say! I'll be home after school tomorrow," she jerked herself away and started towards the door again. _

_"You are the most willful disobediant child!" her mother cried and as Lorelai walked out and slammed the door behind her she heard her mother cry out, "Lorelai Gilmore you come back here!" _

_Walking into the Hoffman house after leaving her parent's house was like walking from Nightmare on Elm Street to Little House on the Prairie. The house had so much more life and color to it. Juliet had three little brothers and the house was always noisey and fun. Lorelai loved it. She rang the bell and the maid answered. She had barely made it inside the door when she heard Juliet's mother call her name. _

_"Hey Sweetie!" she called and gave Lorelai a big hug. _

_"Hey Mom!" Lorelai said and hugged her back. _

_"We missed you!" she said, picking up Lorelai's bag. "Come on in, how was your trip?" she said, putting her other arm around her. _

_"Hey boys! Lorelai is here!" _

_Mark Jordan, and Seth came running down the stairs and started tackling Lorelai. _

_"You guys, get off of her," Juliet cried as she hurried down the stairs, "You guys are so dorky!" _

_"Come on everybody! Time to eat!" Caroline said laughing as she sheparded the kids down the hall to the dining room. _

_"Lorelai!" Bill Hoffman called as he came in the door. He was a big teddy bear of a man and he gave Lorelai a hug. The entire family sat down to eat and Lorelai loved it. It was so different than her house. Everybody here laughed and talked to eachother. They never laughed at her house--and they never ever talked. _

_Lorelai and Juliet retreated to the bedroom upstairs after dinner, and changing into their PJ's spent the night painting eachother's nails, gossiping about the girls in school, and giggling under the covers about Christopher and Donovan, Juliet's boyfriend. A few hours later Caroling brought up some Doritos and Sprite and flopped down on the bed with the girls for awhile listening them talk about their lives. When she left, she kissed each of the girls good night. _

_Lorelai watched her go and her heart ached for a mom like that, a fun cool mom. "Your mom is so cool," Lorelai said, hugging her pillow to her and flopping down and Juliet's bed. _

_"You okay?" Juliet asked, flopping down on the bed next to her. Lorelai turned and looked at her friend, tears burning in her eyes, "You have such a perfect life," whispered, "You have a cool mom, and an awesome dad that really love you." _

_"Hey kid, your parents love you," Juliet said, putting her arm around her friend. _

_"No, no they don't. They don't care about me. My father cares more about his business than me and my mother doesn't want a daughter, she wants a doll that she can dress up and pull the string to make it say ladylike phrases. They don't care about me, they don't respect me for who I am. One of these days I swear I am going to run away from here for good and never come back. That will show them." _

_Juliet put her head against Lorelai's and Lorelai started to cry, "One day, I will. That will show them." _

"Excuse me!" the woman called, "Hey I'm talking to you!" bringing Lorelai out of her day dream.

Lorelai stepped closer and put her hands on the fence, "Juliet?"

The woman shrank back nervously, "Yeah? Who are you? Did Johnny send you here? You just go back and tell him to leave us alone!" she yelled and then grabbing the little girl started to go back in the house.

"No, no wait!" Lorelai called, "Jules it's me, it's Lorelai--Lorelai Gilmore,"

The woman stopped then, and put the child down. She turned, and shamefully brushed a piece of hair out of her eyes. "Lorelai?" she whispered tentively.

Lorelai nodded and Juliet quickly undid the lock on the gate. Lorelai stepped inside and the two women hugged eachother.

"I can't believe this!" Lorelai cried. "I haven't seen you since I left Hartford!"

"I know!" Juliet replied,"This is unbelievable!"

They broke the hug and Juliet motioned for Lorelai to come inside, "Would you like some kool-aid or something?"

"Sure, that sounds nice," Lorelai nodded.

Juliet put an old flower pot on one side of the staircase so it leveled out and then opened the screen door for Lorelai.

Lorelai smiled and walked up the stairs. She tried desperately not to look too shocked when she stepped inside. The trailer was tiny, with a kitchen area that had an olive green stove and a small refrigerator. There was a card table in the middle of the kitchen floor with two mismatched chairs around it. A small black and white was on the kitchen counter with some soap opera going in and out with fuz. The house was clean, but smelled stale and poor Juliet was obviously embaressed. She hurriedly cleared off the table and put the dirty dishes in the sink. She grabbed a wash cloth and washed off the vinyl tablecloth she had on the table. "Please," she said, "Sit down."

Lorelai smiled, and sat down while Juliet hurriedly got a tupperware tumbler out of the cupboard and poured some Kool-aid into it she got out of a pitcher in the refrigerator.

"Thank you," Lorelai said as she handed her the tumbler and Juliet smiled and sat down next to her with her own glass.

"So, what are you doing in Bentley?" Juliet asked. "Do you live in California now?"

"No, actually...well, how long have you lived here?" Lorelai asked.

Suddenly Juliet looked down at the floor, "Only about a month," she said.

"Well, I know it's been a big story around town. Ever heard of Laura Baker?"

"The piano teacher? The one who lost her memory? Yeah, I've heard of her but I've never met her."

Suddenly Lorelai felt the urge to laugh, "Well, Laura Baker did lose her memory, and she is in fact Emily Gilmore of Hartford Conneticut,"

"What?"

"It's true, she and I were in a terrible car accident last year, our car fell into a river," and then suddenly Lorelai didn't feel like laughing. "We lost her, we thought she was dead, some guy found her and took her home with him here. She had lost her memory. She had no idea who she was."

"Wow," Juliet whispered.

"Yeah, we only found out she was alive about a month ago. She still doesn't remember any of us. I'm out here visiting her."

"How awful. She doesn't remember you?"

"Yeah, I feel terrible for her because she wants so badly to remember, but actually Jules, she's so different now. She's not the Emily Gilmore of the old days."

"What do you mean?"

"She's just so nice and fun. She's not critical or demeaning. She respects me for who I am. I enjoy just being with her, just hanging out with her. She's the mother I've always wanted. She's like your mom."

Juliet looked up at her suddenly and then swallowed hard, "Hey, how is your kid? Rory isn't it?"

"Oh she's just wonderful, she's going to Yale. She's going to be a journalist. She's a great kid...young woman. She's my best friend."

Juliet smiled slightly, "Wow, that's great. You must be proud."

Lorelai noticed that her friend seemed to be so far away, so detached. What had happened here? What had happened to the bright beautiful girl who had the perfect life, and the perfect family. "I am," she said, and then asked tentively, "How is your family?"

Juliet stood up and took her glass over to the sink, "So, what are you doing with your life these days?" she asked, and Lorelai was afraid she had overstepped her bounds. "I run an inn, in the town I moved to when I went to Stars Hollow. It's called the Dragonfly Inn."

Lorelai watched sadly as Juliet, put her hands on the counter and looked out the small kitchen window. "Are you and Christopher still together?"

"Um no," Lorelai said, studying her friend's face. "Actually I'm engaged to a man named Luke Danes. We're getting married June 11"

"Is he a nice guy?" Juliet asked and she sounded like she was going to cry and looked so sad that Lorelai almost wanted to tell her that Luke wasn't a nice guy. Obviously, life had turned out very different for Juliet Hoffman than she had planned. "Yeah," she said after a minute, "He's a nice guy,"

"Good," Juliet said, and then finally the pride barrier broke away and she started to cry. Lorelai stood up and put her arms around her friend. The two leaned their heads together as they had so often done when they were girls only it had been Juliet comforting Lorelai then.

Lorelai walked her friend back over to the table and sat down next to her. "You want to talk?" she asked.

Juliet looked glanced shamefully around her and then asked, "You didn't expect to ever find me in these conditions did you?"

Lorelai simply shook her head, "No, but I didn't expect to have a kid at sixteen. Life doesn't turn out the way you expect."

Juliet gave a sarcastic snort, "You could say that." She glanced down at her hands and then after a long moment of silence took a deep breath. "You knew we moved shortly after you left Hartford."

Lorelai nodded.

"One day my father told us that we needed to move for his business out to California. We were sad to leave but excited to go. California was exciting and warm. Two days after we got to California, our parents sat us down in the living room and told us the truth. They were having marital problems, they had been having problems for years, but had hid them from us. They had asked for a transfer so that they could have a change, get a fresh new start. They said things were going to be fine. They were going to go to counseling. Then, one day, we got home from school and there was a batch of cookies on the kitchen counter along with a note from Mom. She said she couldn't take it anymore, that there was a man in Hartford that she had fallen in love with and she had left us for him. She said that when things got settled she would send for us."

Lorelai put her hand over her mouth. Juliet looked up at her bitterly, "Lorelai I kissed my mother goodbye that morning for school and I haven't seen her since."

Lorelai drew in a sharp breath, "Oh Jules,"

"After my mother left, my father started drinking. He turned into the meanest man you ever saw. Some neighbors of ours called DCF and all four of us got removed from him and placed in foster care. I hated my foster family so I ran away. I ran back to Hartford to try and find my mom but I didn't. I moved in with Donovan and we got pregnant. Well, turns out Donovan was the tall dashing romantic we thought he was, but when it came to responsibility he was out of there. I got child support payments every month, but had my baby completely on my own. It was a boy, and I named him Johnathan. I got my life back together, finished my GED and moved back to California to try and find my brothers, get them back together again. All three boys were living in different foster homes, and the state wouldn't let them live with me. So, I moved where I could be close to them and for awhile it looked like everything was going to be okay. I had a good job, I had a beautiful boy, and if it killed me I was going to keep this family together. Then about six years ago I met a guy, Terry Brandt. He was a guy that I worked with. He seemed so nice and steady, I wanted Johnathan to have a father and so I started dating him. I got pregnant with Marybelle and he stuck around. We got married, and everything seemed fine, wonderful until one day I came home early from work and..." her eyes narrowed and tears started down her cheeks, "He had been abusing my boy."

Lorelai started to cry with her friend and put a hand on top of hers.

"After that, I kicked him out but the damage had been done. Johnny turned against me, starting hanging out with the wrong crowd, smoking, drinking, now he's a member of a gang and I'm afraid of him. I'm afraid of my own child. You think I'd learned about men after that Lorelai, but..." she snorted sarcastically and placed her hands over her large stomach, "Obviously I am a slow learner. I don't even know where the father of this one is."

Lorelai tightened her grip on her friend's hand and the two of them just sat in silence. "I'm so sorry," Lorelai whispered.

Juliet put her other hand on top of Lorelai's. "Remember that night? When you spent the night at my house and told me I had the perfect life?"

Lorelai nodded, "Yeah,"

Juliet smiled sadly, "Some life,"

The two friends talked for a little while longer, and made plans to keep in touch. They hugged eachother as Lorelai left, and as Lorelai walked towards the store, sadness for her friend's broken life overwhelming her, she was unaware that something was happening inside of her. She had told her mother once during one of their fights that she had stopped being a child the minute the strip turned pink and in a way she had. She had become an adult, working hard to provide for her child, making her own decisions, but somewhere deep inside her heart she was still a child, still festering over the disappointments she had recieved when she was a child. A mother that criticized her, a father that was never there, she had kept them like a trophy on a shelf, something she could point to and tell everyone how she had overcome them. It had been easy, for she had always had some place to put the blame her entire life. Everything that had gone wrong in her life, she could point to the caricature she had created of her parents and blame them for it. Now, as she walked down the produce aisle thought about the friend she had envied, the family she had worshipped and wanted, her mind turned to a mother and father who had always loved eachother even during their crazy separation, to her parents who had supported her through her pregnancy even though they were biterrly disappointed, who had loved their grandchild deeply, to a father who had worked hard every day of her life to provide for his family who had taught her about responsibility and to a mother, a wonderful caring controlling mother who worried about who her friends were and what she was doing, who simply wanted the best for her child and had mistakenly tried to control her, who had for twenty three years been standing in her daughter's doorway waiting for any scraps of love to come her way. Lorelai had been an adult for along time but at that moment something very strange was starting to happen to her.

Lorelai Gilmore was growing up.

She walked home slowly, swinging the grocery bag lightly as she walked. Her mind was racing, thinking of the horrors of Juliet's life, and suddenly she felt herself reliving every argument she had with her mother and for the first time she seemed to see the look on her mother's face, when she had told her to get out after Rory had stayed all night with Dean, when she had told her mother in Rory's new room that she had needed to get away, when she had walked out of the hall and out the door after her mother had told her that possibly having her brush aside the news that Lorelai was getting married felt similar to being told by a complete stranger that your only daughter was getting married. Lorelai closed her eyes as each one resurfaced, when her mother had asked her in the frigid November air if she truly hated her parents that much, and at that fateful family photograph when Lorelai who was so mad she couldn't see straight had whispered in her mother's ear,

_"You and me, we're done," _The words resounded in her head, _"You and me, we're done." _

Each time, after every argument she had gone home and licked her wounds, adding one more check in her mind of why she was justified hating her parents. For the first time she was seeing her mother's face after each argument and it seemed she had never seen it before. The look of shock the look of hurt. She knew her mother had made mistakes, inviting Christopher to the wedding for the explicit purpose of breaking her and Luke up was a big one, but what had she been asking all of her life? For her mother to simply love her and accept her for who she was, for a mother that would still love her _inspite of her mistakes_. And for the first time in her life, the universe seemed to be smacking her upside the head and saying, "Um...hello?"

She had tried, she knew she had. When her mother had broken down in the plane she had reached out to her, telling her that she hadn't lost her, that she was still there. But what had that meant? Had she simply said it to pacify her crazy mother? That night, when her own daughter had come home, she had forgotten what it had felt like to lose a child and even when she had tried to get Rory and her grandparents back together, there was a part of her that still gleefully continued in making fun of them any chance she got and staying away from them like it was some kind of game. The pain inside of her started to grow.

_"You crushed her!" _Her father's voice resounded in her head, "_She died that day!"_

_"Why can't we have what you and Rory have?" _

_"You weren't the one that had to force her to eat and drink!" _

_"You can't even let Rory have one piece of our lives even if it's her choice, you hate us that much?" _

_"You crushed her!" _

_"She looked at me just like you used to." _

_"You crushed her!" _

_"I lost her like I lost you," _

_"She died that day!" _

_"I lost her like I lost you."_

_"I want me to get exactly what I want and you to get exactly what you want and them to get nothing." _

_"You hated us that much?" _

_"Richard and Emily Gilmore are kind decent unfailingly generous people." _

_"I just want to get out from under Grandma and Grandpa's thumb." _

_"Just do us all a favor Mom and shut up!" _

_"Why can't we have what you and Rory have?"_

_"You crushed her!" _

_"Why can't we have what you and Rory have?" _

_"I lost her like I lost you." _

_You didn't lose me Mom...You didn't lose me. _

She turned the corner to her mother's house, and realized that after thirty-eight years she didn't know where the fault laid, she didn't know who to blame for the mess of the Gilmore family. She only knew one thing. She didn't want to hurt her parents ever again.

She walked into the house, the piano student was gone now and she heard her mother working in the kitchen. She came around the corner and her mother smiled at her,

"Hey you," her mother said, "Did you go to a strawberry field and pick them yourself?"

Suddenly, Lorelai put down the grocery sack and crossing the kitchen threw her arms around her mother.

"Hey, hey, hey, what's this about?" Laura asked as she put her arms around her daughter as Lorelai buried her head in the crook of her mother's neck.

Laura put her hand on the back of Lorelai's head, wondering what could have been so upsetting about a trip to the store to pick up strawberries, when Lorelai whsipered softly, "Thank you Mom,"

"For what?" she asked confused.

"Everything," Lorelai responded, "Everything."

At 7:00 the next morning, the mother and daughter held eachother as they said goodbye.

"You'll be there for the wedding won't you?" Lorelai asked.

Laura put her hand on her daughter's cheek, "I wouldn't miss it."

Finally, Lorelai turned and headed up the escalator. Richard slipped his arm around his wife as they watched Lorelai go.

"That's quite a daughter you've got there Mr. Gilmore," Laura breathed as she put her arm around Richard.

"She gets that from you Emily," he said, "She gets it all from you." They watched until Lorelai was out of sight and then they turned and headed out the door. Laura wondered how she was going to cope with going home to a house that would seem darker now, and Richard wondered how he was going to get rid of the hundred and sixty-three newspapers he had bought yesterday morning.


	21. Being in Love

Disclaimer: This is an original story based upon the characters of Gilmore Girls. No profit will be made from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Note: Thank you to all who read and reviewed the last chapter. As always, it is appreciated. For those of you who are confused as to why Lorelai and Richard hid the newspapers, an explanation is forthcoming. I hope you enjoy this next installment.

The first time Richard Gilmore had seen Emily Hansen was at a party. It was a Christmas party for the Future Business Leaders of America club and he had taken Lynnie Lott with him. He had been mingling with his group of friends, Charlie Bradshaw, Ed Summers, and Tony Jenkins with Lynnie complaining to him that she was bored and wanted to leave when he had seen her. She was dressed in a white dress with shimmering gold designs across it. She had incredible big brown eyes and long shimmering red hair that was pulled back in two pearl edged combs. He found himself staring at her, mesmerized by her and he didn't seem to hear the giggles of his comrades or feel their jabs in the ribs. He didn't seem to hear Lynnie's annoyed sighs. He was dimly aware of her grabbing his hand and pulling him away whispering angrily under her breath that if the only reason she had come to this party was to watch him stare at other girls, she would like to go home. It has shaken him out of his trance and he had apologized all the way home and was forgiven with a kiss at the door. That night, he had dreamed about brown eyes.

He had looked into those brown eyes many times after that. The first time they met, when he had again seen her up at Yale and had followed her hiding behind trees and buildings, watching her move. He had followed her into the parking lot where she had almost hit him with her car. She had been furious. He had tried to introduce himself and she had told him she didn't care to know such a blind idiot. He had shown up at her dorm room two days after that with a dozen roses as an apology. She had called him a psychotic stalker and told him to leave her alone.

Two weeks to the day after that he had taken her to the art gallery and he had kissed her and it was in that kiss that for the first time in his life he had come home.

He had looked into those brown eyes when she had walked towards him in the long flowing white dress, her eyes so filled with love and excitement about their new life. He had looked into those eyes filled with pain when he had begged and pleaded with the doctor to let him be with his wife for just a few minutes. He had held her shaking hand and whispered to her how much he loved her as another wave of pain hit. Those brown eyes had been filled with tears as he had been allowed back into the room to meet the child they had created together.

He watched her now, the hair shorter but still shimmering, the eyes with a few more wrinkles around them but still beautiful and wondered if there was any man in the world who could love his wife like he did. He was supposed to be unwinding strands of white twinkle lights and testing them to see if every light worked but again he found himself watching his wife who was wrapping tulle around an archway and hot gluing pink rosebuds all up and down the archway. It was the annual Garden club formal ball tonight and she had been working on the decorations furiously all week since Lorelai had left. Richard knew that she had been throwing herself into this party to not miss Lorelai as much. He chuckled to himself as he watched her with a half dozen pins in her mouth and her hair once again tied back in a twist with a pen stuck in it. Although there were many things that were different about his Emily, the fact that she was in jeans and a white blouse with flip flops on for one, she still held herself with the same grace and elegance she had since the day he had met her. Even the way she pinned up tulle was graceful as she delicately balanced on her tiptoes and pinned up the tulle she had gathered. He was lost in his thoughts of how beautiful she was when suddenly he was hit in the head by a flying bunch of ivy.

"Hey you," she said giggling as he was brought out of his trance, "Did you come here to help or what?"

"Yes Dear," he said smiling, "Of course Dear," and bending down began to unravel the twinkling lights.

Three hours later the room was a sparkling fairy land with so many lights it looked like the stars lit up the ceiling. The room was full of artificial trees that also had lights wrapped around them there was a fountain in the room as well as vases full of deep purple irises each member of the club had contributed as center pieces on the table. Laura's decorations were the hit of the party and Richard watched her proudly as couple after couple complemented her. He had bought her a new dress for the party, a deep purple one to match the irises. She looked radiant in it. She had let her hair down for this party, framing her face with delicate curls. He had rented a dark purple cummerbund to wear with his tuxedo so they could match and he felt like he was at his high school prom again.

Laura watched Richard in between greeting people and couldn't help swooning a little as she pretended to concentrate on welcoming guests. He was so tall and strong. His eyes were so gentle and kind. A few times he caught her looking at him and winked at her. She blushed and smiled back. He was so handsome. She felt her heart jump again as the guest were seated and he walked over and tenderly put his hand against her back and led her to their table. They ate their meal while chatting with the other guests at the table and half way through the main fish course, Richard reached under the table and took his wife's hand in his. They danced together when the music started and it seemed as though they were the king and queen of the ball but only saw each other. Laura looked into Richard's eyes and wondered what she had done as Emily Gilmore to deserve such a man, to deserve to be loved so much by him. Richard looked into his wife's eyes, those beautiful brown eyes and felt the way he had years ago when he had looked into her eyes for the first time. She had captured his heart then and had been the only one to hold it since. She had become his, his beautiful Emily, his bride, the mother of his child. He loved her with all of his heart—_his beautiful Emily. _

He brought her to him as he danced and it was only when the song stopped and they separated that he noticed the troubled look in his wife's eyes.

"What is it?" he whispered gently and she nodded towards the door.

John was standing at the door, watching them beckoning for Laura to come to him.

"Do you want me to talk to him?" Richard asked.

Laura shook her head as she continued to watch John. "No," she said, "Thank you Richard, I'll be back in a moment," she turned and placed a hand on his chest and then walked towards John. When she reached him, she grabbed him by the elbow and led him to a room in the hall.

"What are you doing here?" she demanded once she had shut the door, "Are you alright?" she asked. As mad as she had been at him and still was, there was still tenderness in her heart for the man who had been her father for so long. He didn't look well, he looked tired and old.

"Laura," he said, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry for everything, for lying to you, but if you ever trusted me before, trust me now. That man is not good Laura. He is dangerous."

"John, what are you talking about?" Laura asked.

"Honey, I was out of town and I came home and was reading my papers. There was a police report from his apartment, a domestic disturbance report it said at 1:00 in the morning. Laura, something more is going on here. Whatever it is, it isn't good."

"John stop it," Laura replied, "Just stop it."

"Laura, the man isn't safe!"

"John, I know about the police report. I know all about it," she chuckled slightly, "They tried to hide it from me, my daughter and Richard both. I guess they don't realize how fast news travels when you're the Enquirer focus of the town. I've had about twelve people tell me about it."

"Then you know Laura, you know there is something he is trying to hide from you. Why would he hide the papers from you? Why would he lie?"

"John, I mean it. Just stop,"

"Laura please, just listen to me…"

"John, the police report said it was between a man and his daughter. Richard and Lorelai had a fight. It happens."

"But in the middle of the night? And still why would they hide it from you?"

Ever since she had found out about the police report she wondered that same thing. She had told herself that they had been trying to protect her but still there was a small fear that was knawing at her. Why had the fight happened in the middle of the night? What had the fight been about?" What if there really was some secret they were hiding from her. "I don't know John," she said and looked him in the eye. "I don't know."

"Laura," John stepped forward and pleaded with her, "Send him away."

"John, he's not some homicidal maniac."

"It's not only that Honey. You have a life here, in Bentley. You have people who love you. What if you never remember? They want the woman they knew back. All of the people from your old life. What if you can't give them that? I don't want you to spend your life trying to live up to someone else."

At that Laura, gave a sarcastic laugh. "You know, let's recap here. It's because of you that I can't remember my own life. Do you remember that John? It's because of you. And all the time I've known you I have been trying to live up to someone else. I'm not your daughter John."

"Laura…"

"No really, I'm not and as much as you wanted to pretend I was, I'm not. Whether or not I remember isn't important anymore John. I don't know why Richard tried to hide the police report from me, but I know this Richard loves me and if he hid that report it was because he had a good reason, that he believed it was in my best interest. Richard wouldn't do anything to hurt me John. He wouldn't lie to me," she stopped and for the first time she said the words that she had felt every time her husband _her husband _looked at her. "I love him John," she said. "I love Richard Gilmore."

"I'm trying to protect you Laura. That's all I want to do."

"No John, that's not all you want. You want a daughter again, you want someone to be Marjorie. I can't. Go kidnap someone else," she turned and walked away from him.

"Now hold on!" he suddenly bellowed. "That is not fair I saved your life."

"Thank you for saving my life John," she said. "Now, go out there and look my husband in the eyes. Go tell my kid how you almost let me die and how I can't remember her first step because you were afraid to take me to the hospital." She turned and walked out of the room. She hurried into the main hall. Richard stood up as soon as he saw her, his eyes filled with concern.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

She took his hand, "Let's go."

He put a hand on her back and led her out the door. He started towards the car, when Laura stopped him, "No Richard," she said. "Let's walk home. We can get the car tomorrow."

He took off his coat and put it around her shoulders, then taking her hand they started down the street. They walked along in silence for a few moments, the only sound being the swish of her dress and the occasional car passing in the distance. Finally Richard gave her hand a squeeze and whispered gently, "Tell me,"

She stopped and turning to face him looked into his eyes. "Why didn't you tell me about the police report?" she asked and Richard felt his heart skip a beat. "Did you honestly think I wouldn't find about it? This is a very small town Richard. I teach 27 students. Why didn't you tell me?"

Richard reached up and placed a hand on her elbow. "I didn't want you to worry."

"Richard, tell me now, did you and Lorelai have a fight? Why did she come to you in the middle of the night anyway?"

"Darling, Lorelai and I have had our shares of troubles. Every father and daughter has them. Lorelai had some issues with me she needed to discuss. We got a little carried away while discussing them, but we're fine now, we're better than we have been in years."

"Was that it?" Laura asked, "You promise there is nothing else? Nothing else you're keeping from me?"

"Yes Darling," he replied, and bent down and kissed her forehead, "Everything is alright."

"You should have told me," she said and Richard reached down and took her hand. "I'm sorry Emily," he said as they continued walking.

They decided to cut across the school yard, and as they reached the lawn Laura took off her shoes and held them in her other hand. She loved the feeling of cool green grass between her toes. They were almost out of the school yard when suddenly Richard said, "Come on," and led her to the swings.

"Richard? Richard what in the world are you doing?" she asked as he led her.

He smiled and gestured to one of the swings, "Sit down my love, your coach and your driver await."

She looked up at him, "Richard, I'm wearing a ball gown,"

"No one is looking Emily," he said smiling.

Perhaps it was because she could not remember being a child and perhaps because she was so in love with this man but she grabbed the folds of her dress and sitting down on the black rubber she grabbed a hold of the chain link sides.

"Ready?" he asked.

"Ready," she replied,"

And then gently he pushed her and she began to swing back and forth. She laughed delightedly as she went higher and higher and her dress filled out like a purple cloud. Hearing her laugh fill the night sky was so infectious that it caused Richard to laugh too and he continued to push her until she finally called out that she was going to be sick from swinging and laughing, and he stopped her. Laughing, he sat down on the swing next to her, and she looked into his eyes.

"You're okay Mr. Gilmore," she said smiling.

"You're not so bad yourself Mrs. Gilmore," he replied, and then gently he moved towards her and this time there was no retreating as their lips touched again and with all the love they felt in their hearts they kissed each other.

"I love you Richard," Laura whispered, breathing heavily as they parted. "I love you."

"I love you too Emily," Richard said, "More than you'll ever know."

"Come on," Laura whispered, as she stood up and reached out her hand for him. He took it and stood up. "Let's go home," Laura said.

And that night, with the love that had been born long ago and thrived for over forty years husband and wife became one again.


	22. Changing Lives

Disclaimer: This is an original story based upon the characters of Gilmore Girls. No profit will be made from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Note: Thank you all for the reviews. Sorry I don't have time to respond individually right now, but I wanted you all to know they are most appreciated. I hope you enjoy this next installment.

In all the time that Laura had been cooking breakfast in her house she had never once burned the bacon. Now, as she stood in front the frying pan, the normally brown strips were a charcoal black and smoke made fog was beginning to settle in the kitchen. Laura didn't even notice because her mind was far from being on her bacon. In a moment, the source of Laura's distraction came from the bathroom dressed for work except for his tie being tied. He chuckled slightly at the sight of his wife standing dreamily over the blackened bacon.

"Something smells good," he said, bringing her out of her thoughts. It took her only a moment before she realized and with a frustrated cry, she grabbed the pan and put it in the sink.

"Oh Richard, I'm sorry!" she said as the blackened strips sizzled under the water. She shook her head and turned back to the refrigerator. "Hang on, I'll make you some more bacon."

"That's alright dear," he said waving a hand.

"It will just take a moment Richard, I promise not to burn it this time!" She turned on the fan and took out a new frying pan. She laid the strips in the pan and then Richard came up from behind her, and putting his arms around her rested his head on her shoulder. She smiled and put her hands over his. "Richard," she whispered, "You're going to make me burn the bacon again."

"Emily," he whispered and turned and kissed her on the cheek, "I don't care."

She put her head against his and for a moment another sensation flooded her—the smell—the smell of musky aftershave. She knew that smell. _She loved that smell. _

"Richard Gilmore," she smiled, "You are going to drive me to distraction."

He released her from his grip and then turned her towards him, and putting one hand on the side of her cheek he kissed her. She put her arms around him as she relaxed into the kiss then as their lips parted, she brushed a finger over his cheek.

"Richard, I am going to burn this bacon, and you are going to be late for work and Tommy Gerard is going to be here in about twenty minutes for his piano lesson."

"Alright my love," Richard sighed, "The real world awaits us. At lease tie this tie for me."

She reached up and suddenly Laura Baker's hands were Emily Gilmore's hands for she tied that bow tie perfectly as if she had been tying bow ties forever.

Richard took her hands and kissed them. "Perfect," he said. "I haven't been able to have a tie tied this perfectly since…" his voice drifted off and she smiled.

"Your breakfast is ready," she said and ushered him over to a chair at the table. She prepared two plates and sat down next to him.

"Emily, this is amazing," he said as he bit into his first bite of buttermilk pancakes.

"Thank you Richard," she replied smiling.

They ate their breakfast in silence for awhile, and then Richard reached over and placed his large hand over Laura's. She looked up at him.

"Emily, you know what's happening in a week from Friday right?" he asked.

She nodded, she knew this would come up sooner or later. "Yes, it's Lorelai's wedding."

"You are planning to go right?"

"Of course," she said, "I wouldn't miss it for the world."

Richard curled his fingers around his wife's hand and squeezed it. "And after that?"

She looked at him nervously and then stared down at her plate. "I don't know Richard," she replied.

"Emmy," he whispered, and reaching across the table, placed a gentle finger under her chin and lifted it up to meet his eyes. His face was pleading, "Emmy please, come home. You have a life there. You have a family that loves you and needs you."

She stared at him, desperately searching his face for any recognition, any memory.

"Darling," Richard said, reaching up and placing his hand on the side of her cheek. "I know you're scared, but I'll be there. You need to be surrounded by your life again, by your family. You belong there."

"Oh Richard," she sighed, "Emily belongs there. Not me."

Richard got up from his chair and knelt down in front of her. "You are Emily," he said. "Please, come home and stay home with me."

She reached out and placed a hand on the side of his face. She loved him, she knew that with her whole heart and soul. She loved Lorelai, and if Rory was anything like Lorelai she knew she would love her too. But she loved her life too. She loved her little house, her piano students, Tuesday morning coffees with Josie, she loved all of that. How could she give it all up to go back to a life she didn't remember having.

"Emily, I promised myself I wouldn't rush you and I will be here for as long as you need me," Richard said as if sensing her thoughts. "But you have a life back there too. A wonderful life."

He put his head against her chest and wrapped his arms around her, She bent down and kissed the top of his head as she put his arms around him. "Emmy," he whispered, "I love you."

"I love you too Richard," she whispered as she took his head in her hands and he looked up at her "Give me sometime to think about it okay?" she asked.

"Okay," he replied.

That morning through Tommy's, Charlotte's and Krissy's piano lesson Laura couldn't keep her mind off of Richard or his question. When Krissy had to ask her four times is she could pass off "Swinging with C and D" she realized she was of no use to her students and before Anna Hardy came at 2:00, she decided that she needed help and called Josie for an impromptu lunch.

"So…" Josie said while delicately opening her first package of powdered sugar donuts. "What's up,"

Laura stirred her coffee and looked up at her friend. Josie regarded her curiously and then as Laura smiled she tore open the package causing a miniature snowstorm of powdered sugar.

"You did it?" she asked.

Laura nodded

"Well?"

"I was scared stiff at first but now…I can't describe it Jo. I felt myself falling in love with this man before. But now, I just can't describe it," she tried to search for the right words. "I love him Jo. That's all I can say. It's like he's a part of me now."

Josie took a bite of donut and nodded, "I know exactly what you mean Honey."

Laura stirred her coffee again, and looked out the window at the town she knew so well, "He wants me to go home with him," she whispered. "He wants me to go home for Lorelai's wedding and wants me to stay there."

Josie waited as Laura looked out the window as if already trying to commit the town to memory. "And what do you think about that?" she finally prodded.

Laura turned back to face her. "I have a life here, in all actuality the only life I've ever known. I love that life. I don't want to give it up."

"But?" Josie asked.

"But Richard is right. Maybe I would remember with my old world around me."

"What do you want Laura? What do you want to do?"

Laura sighed, "Oh Jo, before Richard and Lorelai came into my life I had given my heart to being Laura Baker and not worrying about my past life. If you would have asked me that question just two months ago I would have said I want to live in my town and get up every morning and do my job."

"And now?" Josie prompted.

Laura stared down at her coffee cup and traced the outline of it with her finger. "And now," she answered as she looked up and ran a hand through her hair. "Now I am hopelessly in love with this man, I have a kid I adore and a granddaughter I don't even know."

"So…" Josie said again. "What is that you want?"

Richard couldn't keep his mind off of Emily. It had been so long…_so long_. He tried to concentrate on his work, but he could not stop thinking about his beautiful wife. His thoughts were filled with mixed emotions, remembering their night together was wonderful but he felt stupid for pleading with her that morning to come home with him. He had promised himself that he wouldn't push her, and yet he had. He had just thought after last night that…maybe. Cursing himself under his breath he was making a mental note to get some flowers before heading home to apologize to her when he heard a small knock at the door. He turned and to his astonishment saw his wife there, completely disheveled and out of breath. In two steps he was to the door and opening it, put his hands on his wife shoulders, "What's wrong are you alright?" he asked.

She nodded, trying to catch her breath.

"What are you out of breath?" he asked.

"I ran a lot," she replied between gasps for air.

"What is it?" he asked.

She looked up at him, her eyes firm and resolute. "Richard," she said, "I want to go home."

He took a step back at that and looked her firmly in the eyes, "Emily, are you sure?" he asked, not daring to hope.

She nodded, "Yes, I want to go home."

He lifted her up in his arms and swung her around, she laughed delightedly, "Richard, Richard you crazy man put me down," she said between bursts of laughter.

He obeyed and but kept his arms around her, "When do you want to leave?" he asked and suddenly a sadness came into her eyes.

"Soon," she said, "The sooner the better."

"In a week? That will give us plenty of time before the wedding," he asked, sensing her sudden change of mood.

She shook her head, "No Richard, day after tomorrow if you can get us a flight that early. I need to leave quickly."

Sensing her need just to be held, he brought her to him and she wrapped her arms around him. "Alright, Emily. I'll make the arrangements today. I'm sure the work transfer won't be a problem. I'm sure I can get us tickets too."

"Thank you Richard," she said, "Thank you."

Ignoring Richard's looks of concern that night, she had told him she needed some time alone. She had visited all of her student's parents that afternoon, canceling her afternoon appointments. She had wanted to get that over as quickly as possible. The visits where the children were in the room were the hardest of all, she had come to love each of them. Thankfully the parents had all been understanding of her situation. Then she had stopped at Safeway to pick up some produce boxes to pack things in. The house would have to be sold, but Richard said they could take care of that from Hartford. There wouldn't be room for her to take many of her things with her, but again Richard had assured her that she wouldn't need them. But still she couldn't bear to part with some of them and so Josie was going to store some things in her garage for her. That would give her a good excuse if she got …_homesick_. She could drive back, maybe with Lorelai and Rory on a cross country kind of thing to get some of her things.

She started in the kitchen, taking down her mismatched plates of china she had purchased from Goodwill. She ran a finger around the different patterns and remembered how proud she was when she first purchased the pretty plates and served dinner on them. She wrapped them each in newspaper and then took down the "World's Greatest Piano Teacher," mug that Hannah Petty had given her for Christmas. She finished wrapping the dishes in the kitchen and then went into the living room. Quietly she took out her piano book—the Mozart book of sonatas and opened it to the first page.

"Laura, Merry Christmas Sweetie, John," it was inscribed on the first page. Sighing, she opened it and sitting down on the piano began to play. Her fingers danced over the keys and the emotions she felt seemed to pass through her fingers as she played. A few tears escaped her eyes as she tried to let out the fear she felt at starting out on a new life and the remorse she felt at leaving the old one.

She spent the next day packing and cleaning her little house for the last time. She was halfway through scrubbing the kitchen floor when there was a knock at the door. Brushing a lock of hair out of her eyes, she and taking off her yellow rubber gloves she came to the door. To her astonishment there were twenty-seven bright young darling faces at her door step with some parents as well. Johnny Mills, who apparently had been chosen to be the spokesperson stood up front with a large bright green posterboard. On it in adorable childhood handwriting was, "We love you Ms. Baker," and each student from 13 year old Dani Keller to five year old Melissa Parker had signed it."

"You sweethearts," Laura whispered as she hugged two of the closer children to her and tears stung in her eyes. "I love you all."

Despite being in her grungy clothing, she hugged each child, and succeeded in holding back the tears until the last one had gone. Then she could hold it in no longer and hurrying into her room collapsed on her bed, crying out her broken heart. How could she do this? How could she leave everything she had ever known? She held onto her pillow as she sobbed, and then suddenly there was another knock at the door. She hoped it was Josie, she needed her right now, needed her shoulder to cry on, needed her to tell her that everything was going to be okay and that she was doing the right thing. She hurried to open it and instead of Josie, there was her true best friend at the door. She let him in and as soon as she shut the door, he opened his arms and she stepped into them. Laying her head against his chest she cried until she couldn't cry anymore. When the last tear had fallen, she took a few deep breaths to calm herself and felt Richard lifting up her chin,

"Emily," he said, his eyes filled with love and concern, "Are you really sure you want to do this?"

She nodded, "Yes I'm sure, it's just hard to leave it all,"

He hugged her to him again, "I know Darling, I know,"

She looked up at him and suddenly there were more tears stinging in her eyes, "It's not just that," she said and her voice shook, "I'm so scared Richard," she admitted and then buried her head in his chest again.

"Emily look at me," he whispered,

She looked up at him, and bit her lower lip.

"Emily, I love you and things are going to be fine. I'll make you a deal, we won't sell the house. We'll just lock it up for now. I promise, if you give Hartford a try and you really aren't happy there, we'll sell the house in Hartford and move out here."

She looked up at him, the shock flowing through her system. In all this time since she had found Richard, she knew that some time she would have to give up the life she had and move into his. She knew that one day she would have to go "home." It had never occurred to her that Richard would permanently give up the life he had known for her.

"You would do that?" she whispered.

Richard nodded, "Yes, I would," he replied and at that moment Laura wondered if it was possible to love anything more than she loved this man.

"Thank you Richard," she said, swallowing back more tears.

That night they drove her boxes over to Josie's house and to say goodbye. Thir plane left early the next morning. Josie invited them in for some iced tea and they all sat on the porch for awhile enjoying the night air.

It was getting later and later and the two friends knew they needed to say goodbye soon. Josie took Laura's hand and bringing her out of the lawn chair said, "Come on, let's take a walk."

They walked along side of the large back yard, with the sounds of Hannah, and Everett playing on the swing set in the back round. They had their arms linked with each other and held their sandals in the other hand so they could feel the cool grass in-between their toes.

"Are you still scared?" Josie asked as they got far enough out of hearing range of their two husbands.

Laura glanced back and looked at Richard, "Honestly? A little,"

"He's a good man Laura, he loves you."

Laura continued to watch as Richard caught her eyes and was gazing at her too. "I know that Jo," she said and turned and continued walking.

They walked along in silence for awhile, and then Josie said, "So, this isn't really goodbye goodbye is it? I mean, I will see you again."

"Of course," Laura said, stopping and turning to her friend. "What would I do without you Jo?"

Her old friend smiled, "I really don't know Honey. I really don't know."

Laura laughed and the two friends hugged then and both fought back tears as they said goodbye.

"I'll miss you," Josie whispered in a shaky voice.

"I'll miss you too," Laura replied, her own voice shaking and then to try and lighten the moment separated from the hug and said, "Hey, apparently I'm rich now. Maybe I'll by a plane and a really handsome pilot and come down every Tuesday for coffee and donuts."

Josie laughed and put her arm through the crook of Laura's again as they walked back to meet their husbands, "Honey, you buy a plane and we're going to Paris for coffee!"

Laura looked back and waved as they drove away from the house and when Josie had gone inside she turned back in front.

"I'm glad you've had such a good friend here Emily," Richard said, knowing that she hadn't had a friend like Josie back in Hartford and wished she did so that the transition would be easier for her. She had the DAR ladies, she had women who gossiped with her, women who respected her, and goodness knows women who feared her, but she didn't have a "best friend" like Josie. He made a mental note to arrange a surprise visit for the two friends in a month or so.

"Is there anyone else you wanted to see Emily?" he suddenly asked and felt the rise of anger he knew would be there when he asked that question. He knew what the status of her relationship with John was, but somehow he knew she would be discontented if she left without saying goodbye.

"No," she said, knowing full well who he was talking about. "Let's go home Richard."

"Emily, Heaven knows he's not my favorite man in the world but don't you think you ought to…"

"Just drive Richard," she said, hoping that would close the conversation. The conversation was closed, but her thoughts were not and she laid in bed all that night, with Richard's arm wrapped around her as she thought about John. She couldn't face him. Not after everything that had happened. She wished that she could talk to him, pretend that he was her father again and he could tell her that she was going to be great, as if being Emily Gilmore was like singing in a school talent show. But if she did see him, that would not be what he would tell her. He would tell her she could never be Emily Gilmore, and she needed to stay right where she belonged.

It seemed as though she would never sleep but before long, she felt Richard kiss her forehead,

"Darling wake up, it's time to go to the airport."

She opened her eyes and looking into his, she smiled. She didn't know a lot of things, but one thing she was absolutely certain, she wanted to wake up to this man's smile for as long as she lived.

They dressed quietly and while Richard was finishing, Laura walked around her little house, the bedroom where she had sat and proudly stared at her first hard earned pay, the guest room which she had referred to as Lorelai's room since her daughter had been there, the kitchen where she had spent many happy hours learning to cook, throwing dinner parties and cooking Sunday night meals with John, and finally the living room and her little piano. She brushed her hands over the keys, trying to commit each little face to memory. She suddenly felt Richard wrap his strong arms around her, and she put her hands over his hands.

"Are you ready to go?" he asked.

She nodded, "Yes, let's go," she said and Richard picked up their bags and headed out to the car.

Walking out the front door not turning back until she had closed the door behind her, and locked it, she followed Richard out to the car.

She didn't cry, didn't look back, but tried to be proper as she drove away from the only home she had ever known. It had been a wonderful life. As much as she hated John for what he had done, it really had been a wonderful life.

She tried to imagine on the plane ride what life would now be like. Would she still be herself? Did Richard really love her for who she was now or only who she had been? She would try to be the woman she had been, she would try so hard to remember. As the plane touched down in Hartford, she resolved to be Emily Gilmore, whoever that was, with all her heart and soul.

And moments later she plowed into the smiling woman who was holding up a "Welcome Home Mom!" sign and hugged her tightly to her.


	23. Laura in Wonderland

Disclaimer: This is an original story based upon the characters of Gilmore Girls. No profit will be made from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Note: Thank you for all the kind feedback. As always, it is most appreciated. Out of all the stories I have written, this one I think is stretching me the most. I am enjoying writing it and I am so glad you are enjoying reading it. I hope you enjoy this next installment.

There were so many trees. She looked out the window like a fascinated child as Richard drove through the streets of Hartford. The trees were huge, covering the streets in a large shaded canopy. Lorelai was in the back seat talking about the plans for the wedding and the inn, but she was only half listening. As Richard turned a corner and drove up a hill the houses soon became large mansions with turrets and balconies. She had never seen houses this large, not even in the trips she had made to Los Angeles. The yards were spacious as well, not like the small front yard she had in Bentley. They had lush green grass and large flowering lilac trees—not bushes, trees and the air smelled like lilacs. She chuckled to herself as she suddenly realized why the scent of lilacs had such an effect on her. She felt like a child, entranced by the beauty of it all, it was it's own separate world, a place so different then anything she imagined.

"Here we are Emily," Richard said as he turned a corner and pulled into a large driveway. Richard got out of the car and opened her door for her, helping her out of the car. Laura stepped out and stared at the looming mansion before her.

_Good Heavens, it looks like a train station_

Both Richard and Lorelai chuckled as they watched her take it all in. It was so strange to both of them to see their mother and wife see the house she had lived most of her life in for really the first time.

"Are you ready to go in?" Richard asked, putting a gentle hand on her elbow.

Laura startled slightly and then nodded without taking her eyes off of the house, "Of course, let's go in."

Richard put a hand on her back and Lorelai went in front and opened the door. Laura and Richard stepped inside and were meant by a small chorus of "Surprise!"

Laura smiled graciously at the three people who were gathered in the foyer. A bright faced smiling girl came running towards her.

_Audrey Hepburn…Rory _

"Welcome home Grandma!" she said and hugged her.

"Thank you Rory," she said, putting her arms around the girl as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

Rory looked into her eyes momentarily to see if there was any trace of real recognition and when she found none, she fought hard to keep the disappointment out of her face.

Laura looked over at the other two guests in the hallway. One was a younger man, with blonde hair and a suave air about him. He had an adorable smile. The other one was older, dark hair and looked about as uncomfortable in the dressy clothes he had on as she felt in this gigantic house. She noticed that Lorelai stepped proudly to the man's side and took his hand. For some reason, she looked back at Laura with a hint of trepidation. Laura stepped forward and took the man's hand.

"You must be Luke," she said as he took her hand. "I'm sorry I don't remember you."

"That's alright," he said smiling gently. "It's good to have you back Emily."

"I've heard so much about you," she said smiling and giving a little wink to Lorelai. "I look forward to getting to know you again."

"Same here," Luke said.

"I hear you make amazing blueberry pancakes, you must give me the recipe for them," Laura said, trying to make the apparent awkwardness a little better.

If Emily Gilmore had asked him let her borrow his truck and drive it to a game of Bingo at the truck stop Luke couldn't have been more surprised.

"Absolutely," he said smiling, he had heard from Lorelai that she was different—but this different? He felt like he was on Candid Camera or something.

Sensing his awkwardness, she moved on to the younger man whom Rory had her arm in the crook of his.

"Grandma, this is Logan Huntzberger,"

Of course, Lorelai had mentioned this boy, the one who was dating Rory. She put out her hand, "It's nice to meet you Logan, Again, I'm sorry, I don't remember you."

"Emily," he said, taking her hand and smiling, "It's wonderful to see you."

The boy did have class.

"Well," Lorelai said, wrapping her arm around Luke's. "I think we better go and let you settle in," she said.

Suddenly Laura felt scared, like she was a child suddenly being left for Kindergarten. She turned towards her daughter, "You're leaving?" she asked.

Lorelai put her hand on her mother's arm, "You and Dad need this first night Mom, we'll let you get settled in and unpack. We'll all be back tomorrow.

Rory and Logan stepped forward and Rory gave her a hug. Emily smiled at her as she broke the hug. Of all the things she was nervous about Rory was one of the top ones on her list. She had a relationship as Laura with Richard and Lorelai but she barely knew Rory. She needed to spend some one on one time with her as well.

"Goodbye Rory," she said, "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Of course Grandma," Rory answered and kissed her on the cheek. That seemed to warm her all over. Logan kissed her on the cheek as well and then the two of them held hands as they walked away.

Lorelai and Luke stepped up next and Luke bent down and kissed her on the cheek as well. The awkwardness of the situation seemed to pour out of him. Laura wondered why as she said, "Goodbye Luke, I'll see you soon."

"Yeah Emily," he said, "See you soon" and then for a moment, just a moment she got a genuine smile out of him. She added Luke to the list of things she was nervous about. He would become family in a week and she resolved that whatever was between the two of them, she would try and make it better.

"Bye Mom," Lorelai said next and gave her a hug. She hugged Lorelai to her and when Lorelai went to break the hug she held on a moment longer. It wasn't that she was afraid of Richard by any means, but she was a little afraid of this massive house and more afraid of this life that seemed so massive in everything. Lorelai was a connection to the old life, and she needed all the connections to that life that she could get.

Lorelai turned and gave her mother a kiss on the cheek, "You're going to be great," Lorelai whispered and Laura finally parted the hug and put a hand on her daughter's cheek.

Lorelai winked at her and then left to join Luke. Laura watched as they drove away, and then felt Richard's strong arm around her. She leaned into him and put her head against his.

"Come on," he said, "Let's get you settled."

She turned back and for the first time got a good look at the interior of the house. There was a large hall, with a large Monet print in the front and right off the all was a living room, with the most elegant furniture she had ever seen, wooden tables that shined brilliantly, a couch and love seat that made her one that she had bought from Penny's seem like something from the dump. There was a fireplace with a mantle piece and about that was a large painting of a family, the man was obviously a younger Richard but he seemed so stuffy, the child of course was Lorelai, and the woman dressed in the fancy white blouse with pearls was her. She felt like Alice in Wonderland.

Richard knew that his wife was probably deeply confused but held back as she wondered through the living room, hoping that seeing her house again would jog her memory. He didn't see any sign of that as she walked around the room in awe, gently touching the pretty things around her. His wife had always had a love for pretty things, which had survived the loss of her memory and that had been apparent in her house back in Bentley. She hadn't had much money but she had done the best she could to make the place around her beautiful. Now she seemed like a child as her eyes lit up at all the elegance and beauty around her.

After giving her a few minutes, he stepped forward and turned her towards the upstairs, he reached down and took her hand as he led her up the stairs. Laura was gazing all around her as if she was trying to take everything in. The upstairs hall loomed before her as they got to the top of the stairs and had old black and white pictures in matching gold frames up and down the wall. She walked ahead of Richard, looking at each face, some were obviously older faces, proper and prim with pickle faced smiles on them, children look straight ahead with blank stares on their faces.

She suddenly stopped when she got to one about halfway down the hall. Richard's heart skipped a beat as Laura swallowed hard and reached up a hand to touch the smiling face in the photograph. He moved towards her, placing a hand on her shoulder. It was of a woman in a classy dress with soft eyes and small playful smile. Laura brushed her hand over the woman's cheek and swallowed hard.

"She's my mother, isn't she Richard," she whispered quietly.

Again Richard's heart skipped a beat, "Yes, she is…do you remember her Emily?" he asked.

Laura stepped closer, and kept her hand on the woman's cheek. Then she sighed and turning back to Richard smiled sadly. "No," she said, "Lucky guess."

Richard put his arms around his wife as she turned back towards the picture.

"She was beautiful," Laura whispered and Richard turned into her and kissed her on the cheek. "Just like you."

He took her further down the hall to the master bedroom and as she stepped inside he could not help but have tears stinging in his eyes for he remembered the night after lonely night when he had come into this room by himself, wondering what earthly possessions he wouldn't give up to see his wife in their own room once again. There had been so many nights, so many long nights when he had laid awake and sobbed as he held her pillow and mourned the loss of his Emmy. And here she was, she was back, here in their room.

He watched her as she looked around her in astonishment. Lorelai had come over and brought down her things out of the attic and tried to leave it just the way Emily had had it. Laura walked into the closet in amazement. The entire closet was almost the size of her living room. Feeling slightly embarrassed, she fingered the modest white shirt and slacks she had on as she looked at the array of multicolored suits and dresses. There were at least thirty pairs of shoes lined up in neat rows and an array of hat boxes on the shelves.

"My goodness," she whispered and made her way over to dresser. The jewelry boxes looked almost exactly like they had before, stuffed full of ornate broaches, necklaces and ropes of pearls. Laura fingered the different jewelry boxes and then her eyes rested on a silver plated frame of her and Richard together, Richard standing behind her with his arms wrapped around her, and she looked like she was glowing. She reached over and picked it up, brushing a finger over her face.

Richard stepped towards her and wrapped his arms around her as he had in the photograph. "That was at our vow renewal."

She turned and looked at him, "Our vow renewal? When did we do that?"

"About two years ago," he answered. He reached over and kissed her cheek. It was then that she noticed the look on his wife's face.

"What is it darling?" he asked, "It was a beautiful event, I'll tell you all about it."

She shook her head while staring at the photograph and then reached down and brushed a finger over her face again, "It's not that Richard," she said and paused for a minute as she swallowed, "It's just…it really is me."

He took the photograph out of her hands and put it back on the dresser, then turning to his wife and placing gentle hands on the sides of her face, he reached down and tenderly kissed her, she relaxed into the kiss and when they parted he caressed her cheek with his hand.

"Yes, it is the woman I love, it really is you."


	24. The First Day

Disclaimer: This is an original story based upon the characters of Gilmore Girls. No profit will be made from this story and no copyright infringement is intended. 

Author's Note: Thank you for the feedback as always. I hope you enjoy the next installment. Added note--sorry about the formatting guys, it was the only way I could upload the document

When Laura went to bed that night, she was certain that she would be unable to sleep in a strange house and a strange bed. She wasn't used to the fancy black silk bed spread or the large down pillows and most of all there was so much to take in, so many things on her mind. But as she climbed into bed and Richard wrapped his arms around her, she found herself so exhausted that she drifted right off to sleep and the next thing she knew Richard was gently kissing her awake. She reached up and put the palm of her hand against his cheek and then as she woke up she was momentarily startled at the unfamiliar surroundings.

Richard reached down and kissed her cheek again, "You're home Emily," he whispered.

Laura smiled at him, trying to mask the feelings she really felt for the strange large bedroom in the strange large house in the strange large town hardly seemed like home. She was a little heartbroken as well, because she had hoped that once she had come "home" it would all come back to her.

Richard leaned in closer, his delight had having his beloved wife back in their bed apparent on his face. He reached down and traced the outline of her lips with his finger and whispered, "I love you," She felt her insides turn to melted butter and she whispered, "I love you too." He reached down to kiss her and for a few glorious minutes her confusion and feelings of being lost drifted away on a cloud and all that mattered was with she was the man she loved. They broke the kiss and smiled at each other for a moment, each lost in the other's eyes. Finally it was Richard that brought them back to reality when he sighed, "I need you to tie my tie for me." She smiled and reaching up tied the tie and then asked, "Where are you going this early?" Richard smiled and turned the alarm clock so that she could see it—10:45 a.m. "Oh my goodness!" she exclaimed as she got out of bed, "I've slept half the day away!" she cried and wrapped her robe around her. "Hey relax," Richard said, "It was a long day yesterday and you deserve to sleep in." "But I didn't get you any breakfast, are you going to the office? Richard I'm sorry!" He reached down and kissed her nose, "Darling, I ordered in breakfast from the restraint down the street, I've already had some and the rest is waiting for you in the kitchen. I do need to go into the office today to get some things settled but I'll be back later this evening." "Okay," she said, "Well, I'll go do some grocery shopping then and have dinner all ready for you when you get home. I want to go over and see Lorelai today too, see if there is anything I can do to help with the wedding."

"That sounds fine Dear," he said as he took his suit coat jacket and put it on in front of the mirror. "You go shopping and cook tonight and then if all goes well today the maid will be doing it tomorrow." Laura stopped in her tracks, "The maid?" Richard turned to face her, "The agency is sending one over at four o'clock. You always liked to interview your own maids, but I figured that would be awkward for you for the first time since you've been back, and besides, I figured we'd need one right away. So, when she gets here, Camille, is her name you talk to her and if you like her then she stays." Laura stepped back and sat down on the bed, "Oh Richard, I don't want a maid." Richard turned and looked at her as if she had suddenly announced she didn't want a right arm. "What do you mean?" he asked, sitting next to her on the bed. "Well, I just don't want a maid, that would be too…strange for me. I've never …I mean, I don't remember having a maid, I've always cleaned my own house, cooked my own meals, done my own shopping," she replied.

"But Darling, that was before. Now you don't have to do any of that anymore. We hire someone to do it for us. That's the way it's always been."

"Richard I like doing all of those things. I don't want someone to do them for me." "Emily that was in the other house, that house there was much smaller,"

"I can manage," she cut in.  
"I don't want you to just manage, I want you to be happy." "But taking care of my house and my family makes me happy." "But dear with the cooking and the cleaning, it's too much." "Richard, it is only the two of us unless there are more children here you didn't tell me about." "Honey, I'm serious, just try it, just try the maid and if you don't like it, we'll try it your way," Richard said putting his arm around her shoulder. She nodded hesitantly and then said, "Okay Richard, I'll give it a try." "That's my girl," he said giving her a squeeze. "Well, I better go." "Alright," she said, standing up and cupping his face in her hands, "Have a good day." Feeling like he had over forty years ago when he had brought his new bride home and couldn't bear to leave her, he took Emily in his arms again and kissed her again. They broke the kiss out of need to breathe. "If I don't go now, I probably never will," he said smiling. "I'll be here when you get back," she replied, wrapping her arm around him, she walked him down to the door and waved as he drove away. And then she turned around and found herself all alone in the train station house. It was so big! She walked a few steps forward and she heard her footsteps echo in the big hall. Wrapping her robe tightly around her, she walked down the hall and decided to do some exploring.

The halls were full of large paintings, she opened the first door and it smelled like Richard. Smiling, she stepped inside and found a large study with a mahogany desk and matching large book cases. She glanced through the books, mostly all titles she had never heard of and couldn't pronounce if she tried. She turned towards his desk and smiled as she saw the pictures on it—A large one of her and one of Lorelai and Rory together. She reached over and straightened some of the papers for him and then wandered out of the study. She came around the corner and then found herself in an elaborate kitchen. White cupboards lined the room with stacks of exquisite china. There were two stoves as well as two giant refrigerators. She suddenly chuckled to herself, if Richard thought he was going to keep her from cooking in this beautiful kitchen, he was sadly mistaken. She walked out of the kitchen and opened another room and it was here that the richness of her old or new life became too much for there stood the most gorgeous piano she had ever seen. It was a grand piano, sleek black with golden trim. She went towards it, like a kid seeing his presents from Santa Claus for the first time. "Oh my," she breathed and gently opened the top and placed her fingers lovingly on the keys. She suddenly noticed a small engraved plaque at the front of the instrument.

_ For My Emmy _

And suddenly she felt tears stinging at her eyes once again as she thought of Richard, walking past this room everyday when he thought she was dead. She finally pressed down on the keys and suddenly she was home as she started to play the old familiar songs she didn't need music for. Lost in her music, she didn't notice that the doorbell was ringing. When she stopped she heard it for the first time and hurried towards the door and it was only while she was opening it that she remembered that she still was in her pajamas. Praying that it was Lorelai or Rory, she opened the door and there was a woman there. She was a larger woman, with a plum colored pant suit on and a large purple hat with a large white ostrich feather protruding out of it. "Emily!" she cried as she threw her arms around the very surprised Laura who patted the woman's back as she hugged her. "Darling, oh I am so glad to see you back! Oh you poor dear, living like a pauper for a year, in California of all places—the very den of sin! Oh Darling!" Laura had no idea what to do, she had no clue who this woman was. Did she know she had also lost her memory? Suddenly the woman pulled back and looked at her. "You don't remember me, do you?" she asked. Laura shook her head, "I don't I'm sorry," she replied. "Biddy Charleston Darling, we're the oldest and dearest of friends, my husband was the head master of Chilton, where your lovely granddaughter went to school." "Chilton, yes, Lorelai told me about that. Well, it's nice to…um…meet you." Laura had told hold back the laugh she felt coming on, Biddy Charleston—what a strange name!

"So, Dear tell Biddy everything, come and we'll have the maid fix us some tea," she said, taking Laura by the elbow and leading her towards the dining room. "Um…well, I'm not really dressed," Laura protested. "Oh yes, Darling so you go get dressed and I'll just instruct the maid to put on the tea," she smiled sweetly. Laura shrugged, "There isn't any maid." "No maid!" Biddy stopped in her tracks and had a look on her face as though Laura had told her there was no front door. What was it with these people and their maids? Couldn't they do anything by themselves? "You poor dear!" Bitty exclaimed, "Oh I would have thought they would have had one sent over right away!" "Well, I guess there is one coming over this afternoon but I really don't…" "No of course you don't have time for company right now, oh silly me, wanting to have tea without a maid here. Alright Dear, you settle in and I'll be back. I want to hear every little detail!" she said with a flourish and hugged Laura to her again. "See you tomorrow Darling!" she said as she went out the door. Laura had seen that look in people's eyes before—gossiping women who gawked at her in the grocery store, who signed there children up for piano lessons just so they could try to get some dirt on her. She was not surprised to get the same kind of treatment here, but as Biddy turned and waved again, Laura couldn't help thinking that she fitted her name well.

She shook her head and turned to go back upstairs when the doorbell rang again. She steadied herself and reminded herself that she was a woman of manners no matter whether she was Laura or Emily and opened the door. Over the next hour there were four other women who stopped by and all with the same strange names, Agatha Crimpton, Josephina Wales, Margeretta Shank, and Louise Pennigton something or other. Finally after the last one had left, she climbed the stairs and went into her bedroom to get ready for the day. Never in the time that she had been Laura Baker had she ever slept in past 8:30 in the morning and it mortified her that it was past noon and she was still in her pajamas. She walked into her large closet and walked along the rows of clothes. They were all pretty, but seemed so fancy. She finally selected a forest green pantsuit and went into the bathroom to take her shower.

After she was ready for the day she walked down the upstairs hall to do some more exploring. She walked down the hall and opened the door. She walked into a very elegant room, with a large bed and a fireplace lined with porcelain dolls on the mantle. There was a collection of snow globes on one large shelf and pictures of boy bands and teenage heartthrobs on the walls. This must have been Lorelai's room as a child. She smiled as she walked in further, resting her hand on the top of a china baby doll that sat smiling on a chair. She wished with all her heart that she could remember something, anything about this room and the little girl who had lived there but nothing came. She sat down on the bed and sighed. She laid back on the bed and ran her fingers through her hair.

Suddenly, a strange feeling came over her. A sadness—a deep dark terrible sadness that seemed to fall on her like black mud. She sat up suddenly, breathing heavily. It was this room—something about this room, lying down on this bed, the sadness was so strong, so overwhelming that it felt like she couldn't breathe. What was it? She stood up and hurried out of the room, too afraid of the sadness to let it consume her and maybe be the key to her past.

She hurried down the stairs and out the kitchen door that led to the garage. A sleek looking jaguar was parked there, with a note on it. She picked up the note and read. Darling, Keys in the glove compartment, plenty of gas. Grocery store three blocks away turn right and go straight. Drive safely my love. She got in the car and found the keys. The car drove very well. Her car was always sputtering on her. She had bought it second hand. Now, after a morning being visited with by her "friends", in this stuffy green pant suit that was beautiful but itched and this car that would have taken her at least ten years to save up for, she felt like an intruder. Like someone was going to find out and suddenly say, "You're not Emily Gilmore, you are plain old Laura Baker the piano teacher, you don't belong here."

Strangely enough, going to the grocery store made her feel better, and when she got home she put started a ham in the oven and some homemade rolls. She had found a red checked apron in one of the kitchen drawers. It felt so good to do something and she was having so much fun that she didn't keep track of the time and suddenly there was another ring from the doorbell. She went to answer it and then took a look at herself in the mirror. She had tied her hair back with a pen again, and a few strands hung loose in her eyes. Her face was blotted with flour, and she was wearing a plain apron over a pantsuit she could only imagine would cost her a month's salary. Quickly, she undid the apron and placed it back in the kitchen, brushing the flour from her face she hurried to get the door.

She opened the door and there was a girl there, no more than probably 25 and she looked positively terrified. "Hello," Laura said, and the woman swallowed hard. "Hello, um I'm Camille Andrews," she said timidly. "Of course," Laura said extending her hand, "The maid from the agency, I'm Laura…um, I'm Emily Gilmore." "Yes Mum," the poor girl said looking like she had been sent to the gallows. "I know who you are." "Please," she said, wondering what the poor girl was afraid of, "Come in."

Once she got inside, Camille seemed to calm down and Laura led her to her the living room. "So, tell me about yourself," Laura said, beckoning for the girl to sit down on the couch. "Well, I have good references, I have worked for some of the finest families in Hartford, I cook and clean, I'm always on time," the girl said and with shaking hands passed Laura her references.  
Laura looked over the references. She didn't have the slightest idea what to look for in a maid, but the girl looked sweet and the references were glowing. "So, tell me, what are you planning to do with your life?" "I'm putting my husband through school right now," she said, "He's going to be a lawyer." Laura turned and looked at the girl. She didn't want a maid but if having one meant she could help someone out and actually do something worthwhile she was all for it. "Camille, your hired," she said, and the poor girl stared dumbfounded at her. "Really?" she asked.

Laura smiled, "Really."


	25. A Visit to Stars Hollow

Disclaimer: This is an original story based upon the characters of Gilmore Girls. No copyright infringement is intended and no profit will be made from this story.

Author's Note: Thanks to all who read and reviewed this last chapter. I appreciate it. I hope you enjoy this next installment.

Author's Note 2: When I first wrote this chapter I was young and dumb and made a mistake. It's bothered me ever since. This edit was to repair that.

If there was one thing that Lorelai Gilmore knew she was not, it was patient when she was worried about someone and her mother had been gone for less than fifteen minutes when she wandered out the door and started looking for her. She found her in the apple orchard, sitting on one of the tree swings, shoes off, dangling her nyloned toes in the tall grass.

"Hey," Lorelai said softly as not to startle her.

Laura looked up and smiled, "Hey Kiddo,"

"May I join you?" Lorelai asked.

"Please," she said.

Lorelai sat down on the next empty swing and the two women just sat in silence for a moment.

"So Mom," Lorelai started, "How's the adjustment going?"

Laura felt her insides jump. It wasn't right to burden her with this. She was Emily Gilmore, it was silly that she would be miserable living the life that had always been hers.

"Just fine," she said, "It's a little overwhelming, but it will just take some time," she mustered the most convincing smile she could, "Really, it's good to be home."

Lorelai stopped moving the swing and just looked at her mother with understanding eyes, "But it's not really home is it?" she said.

Laura opened her mouth to talk, but then stopped—she had her there, it wasn't really home. But there was more there, a deeper truth that she knew Lorelai, a bride to be in two days, completely understood. "Sweetheart," she said, "As long as I am with your father, I am home."

Lorelai smiled, she did understand that feeling, but it didn't do much to relieve the worry she felt.

The rest of the afternoon was very busy and Lorelai was kept up front at the desk most of the day. When she was ready to go home, she found her mother happy in the kitchen intently copying recipes out of Sookie's vast library.

"Hey Honey," she said smiling as Lorelai came into the kitchen. "Sookie has this great recipe for apple dumplings. They sound divine!"

"That's great Mom," Lorelai said glad to see her mother happy. "Are you ready to go?"

She finished writing a few last instructions down on an index card and then put a stack of them in the purse. "Thank you Sookie!" she called as they turned and walked out of the kitchen. She then turned to Lorelai and showed her finds, "I got the recipe for that divine peach soup, turkey pot pie, the apple turnovers and buttermilk scones with raspberry sauce."

"Sookie's scones are a tough act to reproduce Mom," Lorelai said as they walked towards the parking lot.

"I may need lots of pointers," she replied. "Would she mind if I called the inn during the day?"

"I don't think so," Lorelai replied, "You could call her at home too."

Laura shrugged, "I won't be doing it at night time. Just during the day, to give me something to do."

"I bet Dad would love those scones for breakfast."

Laura just shrugged again, "That's what we have the cook for."

Lorelai tried to say something else, but Laura cut her off, "So, should I just follow you over to Luke's?" she asked.

Lorelai nodded, "Yeah, just follow me."

The dinner at Luke's was wonderful, but Laura could feel the awkwardness between her and her soon to be son-in-law still. He was very nice, but the niceness seemed forced somehow.

"Lorelai," Laura said after Luke had brought out their food and gone back in the kitchen. "Is something bothering Luke?"

Lorelai waved her hand, "It's nothing Mom, he's just nervous about the wedding."

Laura narrowed her eyes at her daughter, "Are you sure that's it? There's not something else on his mind?"

"Yeah, he's fine. Just nervous," Lorelai said again, biting into her cheeseburger.

"Lorelai," Laura began again after a minute, "Before…Luke and I, we really didn't along did we."

Lorelai felt her heart beating faster, here it was again, her mother wanting details of her previous life. "Not really Mom, but then again, you didn't really know each other." It wasn't a complete lie, they didn't really know each other. She hoped her mother would drop it at that.

"Oh," Laura said simply and started eating her salad.

Strangely enough, Lorelai was relieved when they left Luke's, she could sense both Luke's and her mother's uncomfortable feelings. She wished her mother had a chance to get to know Luke and wished that Luke could get to know this new facet of her mother. After the wedding, maybe she would have to lock both of them up together for an afternoon.

The awkward feeling seemed to lift when they got home, but Lorelai could tell that something was still troubling her mother as she gave her a tour of the house. She seemed to only pay half attention to the movie, which was a serious indication of something the matter because anyone who could not give total attention to Humphrey Bogart in Casablanca had something seriously wrong with them. Rick and Ilsa had just met for the first time when Lorelai pushed stop and turned to her mother.

"Okay Spill it," she said.

Laura gave her a strange look, "I beg your pardon?"

"Come on Mom, tell me what's the matter."

"Sweetheart, I promise there is nothing wrong."

"Mom, please you can talk to me about anything. You know that."

Laura looked down and traced an outline on the couch with her finger. "I don't want to trouble you, you're getting married in two days," she said.

"Come on Mom, that's what I'm here for," she said, leaning forward to show she was serious.

Laura looked up at her tentively, "You won't say anything to your father?"

"Yeah, I promise."

Laura looked down at her hands and then looked back at her daughter. She brought a hand up to her daughter's cheek and caressed it with her thumb. "I'm so glad I found you Lorelai,"

Lorelai smiled, "Me too…what's up?"

"I guess I'm just feeling a little…useless."

"What do you mean?"

"Your father has insurance, you have the inn, Rory has school, what do I have? Piano and parties are the only things I know Lorelai. Those things made who I am, those things defined me, just like your inn defines you."

"And…"

"I don't have them now, I don't cook my own meals, I don't clean my own house. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love your father and I love being close to you. I just don't know what I'm supposed to do, supposed to be here. I just don't know how…"

_To be Emily Gilmore. _

She stopped, the unspoken words resonating through out her. She couldn't say it. She couldn't admit she was failing at her resolution to be this girl's mother.

Lorelai reached over and put a hand on her mother's shoulder, "It's alright Mom. It will just take time."

Laura reached put a hand on her daughter's cheek again. "You deserve better Lorelai. You deserve better than me."

"Mom, don't say that," Lorelai protested. If only she knew!

Suddenly Laura's eyes filled with tears that had been threatening to fall for days, and she bit her lower lip trying to get control of her emotions.

"Mom, maybe you can teach piano again, or organize parties. It's not impossible,"

Laura shook her head, "It's not that Lorelai," she said. She stopped again and Lorelai prodded for her to go on.

"I just…have this fear," Laura whispered.

"What?"

"I'm not her," she said quietly, admitting out loud for the first time. "Lorelai...I just...it's your wedding day. You deserve to have your mother here and I'm not her. I don't remember anything..." her voice shook and she closed her eyes, swallowing hard to get back control. Lorelai's only response was to put her around her and pull her to her. Laura rested in her child's embrace.

"Mom..." Lorelai swallowed to trying to regain her own composure. "For a long time I didn't think my mother would be there at my wedding or anything else in my life. Do you think it matters to me that you can't remember my first step? You're here, you're alive, that's all that matters."

The talk did Laura good, and later that night as she left to go back to Hartford she felt happier and ready to try more to fit in her new world. Lorelai stood at the door and waved as her mother drove away, and for the first time in her life felt that she had been let into her mother's secret world, the woman who had firmly stated that a relationship between a mother and daughter was not a best friend relationship. Now, hearing her mother open up, she made up her mind that she was going to help the situation. It hurt her that her mother felt useless, and it broke her heart that she felt like Lorelai wouldn't want her there on her wedding day. Yes, Lorelai thought to herself as she watched the jaguar disappear out of sight, she needed to do something.

It was no surprise to Laura when she pulled into the driveway and saw Richard's tall handsome figure standing in the doorway. How long he had been standing there, waiting for her she could only guess. She wasn't late, but she knew he had been worried nonetheless. He hurried over to the car and opened the door for her as the car came to a stop. "Hey Beautiful," he said.

"Hey yourself Handsome," she said smiling as she took his hand and he helped her out of the car.

"Have a good time?" he asked, as he bent down and kissed her cheek.

"The best," she said and they wrapped their arms around each other and headed into the house.


	26. Laura comes to the rescue

Disclaimer: This is an original story based upon the characters of Gilmore Girls. No profit will be made from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Note: I didn't really like the last chapter, so I thought I would get right on writing a new one. Thanks for the feedback. You all are great! I hope you enjoy this next installment.

"Richard, how would you feel if I started teaching piano lessons again?"

_No…_

"Richard, I am going to start teaching piano lessons again, how do you feel about that?"

_No, too demanding_

"Richard, I would like to start teaching piano lessons again,"

_No, still doesn't sound right_

She took a deep breath, "Richard…"

"Did you call me Dear?" Richard's voice resounded from the shower.

"No Honey," Laura said, staring in the bathroom mirror, suddenly loosing her confidence. She continued to comb out her hair.

"Are you looking forward to tomorrow?" Richard called.

"Yes, I am. It's going to be a wonderful day," Laura replied starting to blowdry her hair.

"Is Lorelai nervous?" Richard called.

"A little I think, mostly I think she's just happy to be getting married."

"I imagine, she's had eyes for that boy for years."

The shower stopped and Richard came out of the shower area of the bathroom wearing his robe and towel drying his hair. He put his arms around his wife and rested his head on her shoulder. "When's the last time I told you I loved you?"

Laura giggled and looked at her watch, "An hour and fifteen minutes ago,"

Richard made a mock disgusted sigh, "And the last time I kissed you?"

Laura looked at her watch again, "Um, twenty three minutes and four seconds ago,"

Richard turned her around and smiled, "Far too long," he whispered and then kissed her.

"I love you," he said as they broke the kiss.

She shook her head in exasperation, "I love you too Crazy Man,"

They had a nice breakfast of scrambled eggs and bacon and talked about their plans for the day. Laura played with her eggs, trying to get up the courage to ask Richard about teaching piano.

She went over it again and again and then finally blurted out, "Richard, I want to start teaching piano again,"

Richard looked up at his wife and was about to respond, when suddenly there was a loud slamming of the front door, and a very startled Camille came into the room.

"Um, your daughter is here,"

She barely got the words out when a distraught sobbing Lorelai came running into the room with mascara tear streaks down her face.

"Merciful Heavens what's this?" Richard cried spilling the container of jam on the tablecloth while standing up.

Laura stood up and hurried over to her daughter, "Sweetheart what is it?"

"It's ruined! Everything is ruined!" she cried, putting her arms around her mother.

"What's ruined?"

"Everything!" Lorelai said in choking sobs.

Richard walked over to his daughter and put his hand on her back. "Lorelai, at least communicate enough to tell us that our granddaughter has not been shot or strangled and that Luke is fine and that you are fine."

Lorelai nodded, "Luke and Rory are fine Dad, it's just the wedding…" she said and then broke down crying again, "Everything is ruined for the wedding!"

"Sweetheart we're going to need a little more to go on," Laura said gently.

Lorelai took a few gulps of air and Laura and Richard motioned her into the living room.

"The wedding is still on right?" Richard asked pouring Lorelai a drink as Laura sat down on the couch next to her.

"Yes, the wedding is still on, but the wedding planner called this morning. They had a wedding the day before yesterday and her entire staff has come down with food poisoning! I never should have hired a wedding planner I knew this wouldn't work I just knew it. It's too late for anybody to do anything now. We'll just get married, and have a few drinks with friends over at the house. I guess that's all that matters," she said, putting her head on her mother's shoulder.

Laura's mind started racing. Her daughter had to have the wedding she had always dreamed of. She knew how long Lorelai had waited for this. She had to do something. She gave Lorelai a squeeze and told her to sit up.

"The wedding is at four o'clock tomorrow right?" she asked.

Lorelai nodded.

"And the reception starts at six?"

Lorelai tearfully nodded again.

Laura stood up, "Sweetheart, you leave everything to me."

"What do you mean?"

"I'll take care of everything. The reception will still happen and it will be everything you want it to be."

"Mom, I couldn't ask you to do that, I mean…all that work and…"

"Don't you worry about a thing," her mother said standing up and grabbing her purse. "Mother will take care of everything."

"Mom, I don't know. We don't want a massive production. We just want something simple."

"Something simple—got it," she said helping her daughter up. "You go back to work and I'll meet you there later today."

"Are you sure Mom?" Lorelai asked.

"Yes, I'm sure. I'll meet you there."

"Please Mom, no big productions."

"I promise. Now scoot-scoot I've got work to do," she said and walked her to the door.

"Everything will be fine," she said as she hugged Lorelai, "Drive safely."

As soon as Lorelai drove away, Laura shut the door and had to press her hands hard together to keep from clapping them in excitement. Richard chuckled as she came hurrying into the living room, talking to herself as she made plans.

"Hey remember me?" he said softly and she turned and smiled, "Yes?"

He took his wallet out of his pocket and took out a credit card. "I never thought I'd live to see the day when I'd say this, but have at it," he said chuckling, handing her the card.

She smiled and reached up and kissed his cheek, "Simple Darling, it will be simple," she said.

Richard smiled, it was good to see her so happy. Suddenly the image of her face that night in the study when they had fought about Rory flashed into his mind.

_It's frivolous, and meaningless. I don't want that life for her._

"Work your magic Maestro," he said. "I can't wait to see it."

She smiled and kissed him again and then bounded out the door. "Have a good day Darling!" she called.

"You too!" Richard called after her.

She arrived at the Dragonfly Inn at two o'clock with Camille and Rachel in tow as well as stuffed bags from Wal-Mart, Michaels craft store, Target, and Zurcher's party store.

"Mrs. Gilmore!" Michel met her at the entrance, "What a pleasure it is to see you again!" he said.

She was holding eight bags, four in each hand as well as pushing a box with her foot. "Nice to see you again Michel," Laura responded courteously.

"I hear you are planning Lorelai's reception, well if you need anything, anything at all, please do not hesitate to ask."

Laura smiled and continued to push the box with her foot as she walked along.

"I am a man of impeccable taste," he said with a flourish, "Just let me know if there is anything I can do for you…anything at all."

"Actually Michel, could you tell me where the banquet hall is?" she asked a little out of breath.

"Certainly," he said smiling, "Right this way" he pointed down the hall and instructed her to follow him.

"If you need anything, anything at all, just ask anyone here and they know where to find me," he said as he led the three women down the hall, each carrying a load of sacks.

"Thank you Michel," Laura said as she followed him, "That certainly is very helpful."

When Lorelai found her she had rolled up her hair with a pen in it, and set to work.

"Sweetheart, do you have a few people you could lend me this afternoon?" she asked Lorelai as she put on her glasses and stuck a few pins in her mouth.

"Sure Mom," she said heading out the door.

"And Dear…he's a very nice man but…"

"Not Michel, got it," Lorelai said and hurried out the door.

She came back with a server and two of the upstairs maids.

"Perfect!" Laura said, coming over and extending her hand, "I'm Laura…Emily Gilmore, what are your names."

"Sacha,"

"Jane,"

"Monica," the three young ladies answered.

"Alright, Sacha, can you start testing those white lights for me? Jane, you can start setting up tables, Monica, I need some help with this tuelle." The three nodded and set to work. Laura turned to her daughter, "And you…you get out of here," she said, patting her daughter on the head.

"Yes Mam," Lorelai said and hurried out the door.

If there was another thing that Lorelai Gilmore could admit that she was as well as impatient, it was too curious for her own good, and despite the work that she had she kept peeking into the banquet hall until her mother would catch her and order her away. At five o'clock, Sookie was summoned for consultation to which Lorelai cried that it was not fair and was promptly told "Go to your desk!"

At six o'clock, Lorelai called in between the doors, "Mom, it's six, I'm headed home. Rory's coming over tonight."

"Okay Dear," came the reply. "Tell her hello for me and have a good time! I'll see you tomorrow!"

"Mom, can't I have a little peak first?" Lorelai cried.

"Okay Dear," Laura repeated in the same voice inflection, "Tell her hello for me and have a good time! I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye!" Lorelai called back shaking her head.

It was nine-thirty, when she finally stopped and headed home. She didn't want too, but she knew that Richard would burst something in his brain worrying if she was out past eleven.

Again she wasn't surprised to see him sitting out on a bench in their front yard as she pulled up.

He met her as she was pulling up and opened the door for her. "Hello Beautiful," he said smiling.

She blushed, "Hi yourself Handsome," she said taking his hand as he helped her out of the car. She stepped close to him and put her arms around him, "You are certainly nice to come home to at the end of the day," she said.

He bent down and kissed her forehead, "Did you save the day?"

She reached back and massaged an aching muscle, "Not quite, there's still more to do tomorrow."

Richard took her place massaging the muscle with his big hand and walked with her into the house.

The next morning Richard woke up and to his surprise when he reached out his arm to put it around his wife, he found an empty side of the bed. He woke up fully and saw a yellow sticky note on her pillow.

"Darling, had to leave early to go finish the decorations. Your tux is all laid out for you. Meet me at the Dragonfly at 3:30 and we'll go over together. I'll be the one crying! Don't be late.

Emily,"

Richard smiled and put his hand over the name Emily, she hadn't ever done that before, actually referred to herself as Emily.

The Dragonfly Inn was a buzz of excitement with Sookie ordering people about in the kitchen, Laura ordering people around in the banquet hall, both trying to work their magic before gametime. The daughters of the couple were put to work too, with Rory upstairs trying to calm the bride to be, and April walking the groom around the grounds trying to explain to him the Pythagorean Theorem in attempt in her thirteen year old way of trying to calm him down. Richard arrived at 3:00, and found his wife asleep on a chair right outside of the banquet hall. He smiled, and took off the glasses that had fallen down to her nose. Kissing her lightly on the cheek, he said, "Emily, Emily wake-up,"

Laura woke up with a start, "What time is it?" she cried.

Richard put a hand on her shoulder, "It's three o'clock."

"Oh my goodness," she said, "I have to go help Lorelai get dressed," she said.

"Darling, I would also suggest getting dressed yourself," he said as she hurried down the hall. She stopped short and looked down at herself. "Right," she said and hurried down the hall.

Her dress was hung in one of the upstairs room, a white dress with gold trimmings. She hurried and got dressed, brushing her hair back into a fancy twist and leaving the rest of it down. When she finished putting on her make-up she looked at herself in the mirror. She was a mother of the bride. Just a short time ago she had sat on her front porch and wondered if she would ever have a real family. Here she was a mother of the bride. There came a soft knock at the door.

"Grandma?" Rory said stepping in. "Are you ready?"

"Yes Dear," she said, "Let's go help your mother," she said, extending her hand and giving Rory's a squeeze as she took it.

They walked in to Lorelai's dressing room and Lorelai turned around and smiled.

"Okay Little Girl," Laura said, "Arms up,"

Lorelai obeyed and both Rory and Laura placed the white cloud of silk over her head and while Laura zipped up the back, Rory fluffed the dress. It was a silent moment for the three Gilmore women, but a bonding one as two of them lovingly prepared the other for the day she had dreamed of all her life. Finally, there was one more thing, the diamond tiara for the princess of the day, and Rory whispered, "I think I'll go check on Grandpa," leaving mother and daughter alone.

Lorelai smiled at her mother, and bent down for her crowning.

Laura fastened the tiara to her head, and the fluffed the small veil that was pinned to the twist in Lorelai's hair. She stood back and put her hand to her daughter's cheek. "No woman has ever looked this exquisite," she said, tears burning in her eyes.

Lorelai sighed and hugged her mother, "I love you Mom," she said.

Laura hugged her back, "I love you too."

To be continued—Next up, the wedding!


	27. It's about time!

Disclaimer: This is an original story based upon the characters of Gilmore Girls. No profit will be made from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Note: Thanks to all who read and reviewed the last chapter. I'm glad you liked it. I hope you enjoy the next installment. This chapter is dedicated to all those who are still holding hope for a Luke and Lorelai wedding!

The day was bright and sunny and the air smelled like summer. The inside of the church smelled like roses because Sookie had decorated the inside with bouquets of white and pink roses just like the ones in Lorelai's bouquet. The church was packed to the hilt, with the men standing in the back so the women could have the pews. They had all come to see what they had been waiting for years to see, Luke and Lorelai finally tie the knot. Kirk was outside of the church as self-appointed traffic director, Taylor was welcoming people into the church while offering 6 off Minute rice in honor of the day at Doose's Market. Babette and Miss Patty had secured themselves a seat up front and had already used up a travel package of Kleenex between them.

Luke arrived at the church at a quarter to four, shaking like the aspen trees outside the church. Thankfully the reverend found him and got him situated up front where he needed to be.

"Everything is going to be fine," the reverend said, patting him on the back. Luke's eyes were focused on the clock,

_Please Lorelai Gilmore, for once in your life be on time. _

His fears were not to be realized though, for about three minutes later the limousine carrying the rest of the wedding pulled up to the church. He watched as Emily slipped in and took her seat up front. She caught his gaze and smiled at him, giving him a small wink. He smiled back at her and suddenly felt a twinge of guilt. The last time he had been nice, genuinely nice to her when he wasn't trying to impress her was that night when they had first had dinner at her house. After that night he had tried to be polite when she was around, but he thought she was the most meddling, condescending woman he had ever met and even though she couldn't remember anything about that, he still could. It had been difficult for him to get past that. He had never had anyone look down on him simply because of who he was and though know he had a daughter of his own and understood the feeling that no one on earth is good enough for your little girl, still it had hurt him to know he could never have her approval. Things had been better between the two of them before the accident, but still that knawing feeling had existed that she still didn't think him good enough for Lorelai.

When she had been found alive, although not remembering anything in her former life, he had been so wrapped up in supporting Lorelai that he hadn't really thought about how it would be between the two of them when she came back to Hartford. He watched her now as she watched anxiously for Lorelai to come down the aisle.

_Maybe she really had changed after all. _

Suddenly the music started and Luke's attention was completely turned to the doors ahead of him. The gentle lilting music of Pachabel's Cannon filled the hall as the doors opened and Davey and Martha stepped out holding hands. Martha had just turned three, and was dressed in a pale pink dress that "puffs real big!" as she had excitedly told her Aunt Lorelai moments ago. Davey was four now, and had his father's stocky build and his mother's infectious smile. Davey's little suit was terribly itchy but he had been told under no circumstances was he to drop those rings and so he stared straight ahead and balanced the little silk pillow that held the rings as if his little life depended on it.

Next came April and Luke's heart swelled with pride as she started down the aisle. The bridesmaids were all dressed in light pink colored satin. April's thick black hair had been curled, something she had proclaimed to the hair dresser to be physiologically impossible. But there were some things that were beyond the thirteen year old's ability to predict and her hair tumbled about her in a waterfall of silky curls. Sookie came next, the bubbling excitement threatening to overflow. She literally bounced as she walked, feeling at last, all was right with the world. After Sookie came Rory, after giving a kiss on the cheek to her mother, and again Luke's heart swelled with pride as he watched the little girl who had been the daughter of his heard ever since he could remember walked towards him.

Richard and Lorelai stood at the door waiting and while just moments ago Lorelai had been wildly humming some song and shaking her hands now she seemed completely calm and serene as she waited for her turn. Richard looked at her, wondering how in the world thirty eight years could have passed since Joshua had put that squalling little baby in his arms. She was so beautiful, his little baby girl. That moment as he held her he felt more frightened than he had ever felt in his entire life. She was his child, made out of love, who had come from his beloved Emmy. Their relationship had been rocky, certainly life had turned out very different than he had expected but he cherished her more than he ever thought possible.

As if Lorelai could sense his feelings she turned and smiled at him, that smile that could light up the world.

"Are you ready to do this?" he whispered gently.

She nodded, completely calm and peaceful, "I've been ready for this my whole life," she said.

Suddenly the reverend motioned everyone to rise.

"I think that's our cue," Richard whispered.

Lorelai turned to him, "I love you Dad," she said, her eyes filling with tears.

And that did the poor man in and he could no longer keep control of his emotions, "I love you too Baby," he whispered tears burning in his own eyes and then the two of them started down the aisle.

Luke's eyes were filled with love as he watched his bride come down the aisle. After all the waiting, years of trying to get her to notice him, the scruffy diner man, after all the obstacles that life had thrown in their path, she was finally his. Lorelai saw the look in his eyes and her tears spilled over as she thought of that night when she had cried on his shoulder for a marriage, a real partner, someone to share life with and realized that her dreams were coming true with the best friend she could ever have. Richard saw the look in Luke's eyes and thought of his own wedding, when his beautiful bride had walked down the aisle in her flowing white dress and sparkling diamond tiara—the queen of his heart. Laura saw the look in Luke's eyes and felt overwhelming happiness for her daughter and at the same looked down at her left finger where a wedding ring once had been.

Richard and Lorelai made it to the front of the wedding, where Richard gently kissed his daughter on the cheek and handed her to Luke.

The reverend started the ceremony and Richard sat down next to Laura. When the reverend asked, "Who gives this woman to be married?" Richard took Laura's hand in his and answered, "Her mother and I do."

When the reverend turned to Luke and instructed him to repeat after him, Richard turned to his wife and gently mouthed the words of the vows along with his new son in law.

_For better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health,_

Laura's eyes pooled with tears and when Lorelai started to repeat her vows Laura mouthed the words along with her.

_To love and to cherish to death do us part._

And when the Reverend pronounced Luke and Lorelai man and wife, Richard mouthed to his wife, "I love you," and she smiled, "I love you too,"

"You may kiss the bride!" the reverend proclaimed, and as the new Mr. and Mrs. Danes kissed, the whole church erupted into cheers.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Mr. and Mrs. Luke Danes!" the reverend said and with a jovial smile he added, "And I'm sure I speak for the entire congregation when I say, it's about time!"

Luke and Lorelai smiled as they took hands and went down the aisle and back outside through a rain storm of rice. There was so much laughter and cheering as the people followed them out that when they went from the church it seemed extra quiet to the two people who had stayed inside.

"Well Mommy," Richard said, standing up and offering his hand to his wife, "Our little girl is a wife now."

Laura stood up and put her arm through the crook of Richard's, "I guess so Daddy," she said as they walked out of the church together.

They hurried over to the Dragonfly so that Laura could make a few last minute touches before Lorelai and Luke arrived.

Luke and Lorelai arrived shortly and the rest of the guests stood outside of the door to the banquet all as Laura stood in front.

"I don't know any of you," Laura said, "But I can tell that my daughter loves you and wanted you to be a part of her special day." She turned to Lorelai and smiled.

"Lorelai…" she started but then stopped as her emotions got the better of her. She swallowed hard and Lorelai winked at her.

"Sweetheart, I may not remember your first step or your first tooth or anything about your childhood, but I know you are the best thing to happen to me as Laura Baker and I'm sure you were the best thing to happen to me as Emily Gilmore too. I love you…and this is for you."

She opened one door and Richard opened the other and a general sigh of amazement went through the crowd.

"Oh Mom" Lorelai breathed as she stepped forward holding Luke's hand.

The banquet hall was filled with white sparkling lights. Icicle lights hung from the ceiling along with about a million glittered plastic snowflakes. Artificial fir trees with crystallized snow branches were scattered all over the hall with white lights lighting them up. There were tables set up with white tablecloths and large vases with large lacy white irises in them. At each table was a snow globe from Lorelai's childhood collection. There was a bar set up at the far side of the room, and a dessert table next to it. There was a large center of the room for dancing and a small gazebo at the very center of the room, decorated with a garland that was made to look like icicles were frozen in it. Lorelai and Luke walked further inside their magical world and Lorelai turned back to her mother.

'Oh Mom," she breathed again.

"Well, I heard you like snow," she said smiling and Lorelai hugged her. "This is amazing Mom."

The reception truly was magical and it seemed strange to everyone that left as they walked outside and the sun needled into their eyes and they were reminded that it really was June. Laura met all of Lorelai's friends again and while they were very strange some of them, she delighted in their honesty and realness. They cut the cake, a gorgeous three layer white chocolate crunch cake with butter cream frosting. Lorelai threw her bouquet and the whole room laughed as it headed straight towards Rory. Rory caught it and blushed looking over at the handsome young blonde man at her table who smiled and winked at her.

Laura doubling as mother of the bride and party director then told the couple to head up to the gazebo for their first dance. Luke put his arm's around Lorelai's waist and Lorelai put her arms around his as the music started,

_Oh…my love…my darling…I've hungered for your touch a long, long time._

The two hugged each other tight as they continued to dance. Laura waited for the perfect time and then nodded to Rachel who was standing by behind the gazebo. She pushed a button and the gazebo lit up with sparkling white lights

_I need your love, I need your love, _

Rachel then pulled a string and then suddenly from the top of the gazebo soft white and silver sparkling glitter along with white flakes of began swirling down around the dancing couple. They looked up and laughed as the snow in June lightly fell all around them in their own magical snowglobe.

In the corner, Richard put his arm around his wife and pulled her to him, "You really are something Emily Gilmore," he said.

And later that night, when the last of the guests had gone home, the bride and groom had left and tired but happy Laura climbed into bed, miles away in their hotel room in New York, the new Mrs. Danes was brushing her hair when Luke came out of the bathroom and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Are you happy Mrs. Danes?" he asked.

She smiled and put her hands on his, "Oh so happy Mr. Danes," she replied.

They stayed like that for a minute when Lorelai smiled and said, "My mother really did an amazing job on our reception."

Luke nodded, "Yeah she did,"

"Did you see how happy she was tonight?"

Luke nodded, "Yeah, she really was happy," he replied and suddenly Lorelai started to giggle.

"What?" Luke asked.

Lorelai shook her head and smiled, "It's nothing it's just…I should have been an actress."


	28. Laura meets Rory

Disclaimer: This is an original story based upon the characters of Gilmore Girls. No profit will be made from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Note: Thank you to all those who read and reviewed last chapter. I appreciate it as always. Some of you mentioned confusion about Lorelai's line, "I should have been an actress." When Laura left Lorelai's house the night that she came over, Lorelai watched her go and decided she needed to do something to help her feel more needed. The next morning she came in "crying" and saying that the wedding planning crew had come down with food poisoning. When Lorelai says she should have been an actress, it's to say that she made up the story and faked it all so her mom could do the wedding and feel needed. Anyway, I hope that makes more sense now. Anyway, that being said, I hope you enjoy this next installment.

Constance Euthington had a large wart on the end of her nose, Janiessa Bateman talked like she gargled with cleanser. Beatrice Mulcahee had ears like a…

_Okay…that's enough stop it now and pay attention to what they are saying_

Laura had to mentally shake herself as she tried to listen to Constance as they discussed the upcoming fundraiser. It was a terribly hot day and the dressy pantsuit she had put on for the afternoon tea was very uncomfortable.

"Emily? Emily Dear what do you think?" Constance said, suddenly interrupting Laura's thoughts. She still wasn't used to responding to Emily.

"I'm sorry what were you talking about?" she asked, trying desperately to look interested.

"Should we use a forty piece or a sixty piece band in the hall for the charity auction a week from Friday?"

"Um," Laura started and then cursed herself for saying "um" like an idiot. " I think a forty piece band will do nicely."

"And since you are the party expert among us Em, would you suggest using the gold and white napkins or the silver and purple napkins?" Marian Howard asked in between sips of tea.

Laura forced a smile on her face, it was one thing getting used to being called "Emily" she loathed being called, "Em."

"Ah, the silver and purple I think look nice," she answered politely and swallowed another sip of tea.

"And would you suggest an arraignment of purple silver purple on the tables or silver purple silver?" Constance asked, writing down information in her little booklet.

_I don't believe this _

Just as Laura was about to give herself up to complete boredom, she heard the back gate open slightly and the ladies all exclaimed "Rory!" delightedly. Laura looked up excitedly as her granddaughter came in the backyard, dressed in an eggshell colored blouse and a tan skirt.

"Hello ladies," Rory said cordially as she walked in, "Sorry I'm late. I got my work all finished at the paper and finals are done so I thought I might join you today."

"Come in! Sit down!" Nora Jemton commanded in her thick English accent.

Rory came over and kissed Laura's cheek.

"I'm so glad you're here," Laura whispered and Rory smiled and sat down.

The rest of the meeting picked up with Rory there but Laura was anxious for it to end so she could have some time with her alone. With Richard working and Lorelai still gone on her honeymoon she was lonely and wanted to take this chance to get to know Rory better. Finally the meeting ended and both Gilmore ladies graciously waved goodbye to their guests. When the last one had gone, the two went inside and walked inside the living room. To Rory's surprise, Laura sat back on the couch and breathed a sigh of relief "I thought they'd never leave."

Rory giggles and sat down with her, "Grandma!"

"I'm sorry, but sometimes those DAR meetings can be so boring! I don't know how I'll make it through the charity auction."

"Well I'll be there," Rory said, "We can keep each other sane."

Laura put her arm around the girl, "Sounds like a plan to me."

They sat like that for a few minutes when suddenly the door came flying open and Richard hurried in murmuring swear words under his breath.

"Richard!" Laura cried out standing up and hurrying over to him, "Darling what's wrong?"

He put a hand on his wife's arm and then saw his granddaughter in the living room. "Oh Rory, I am so glad you're here!"

"What's wrong Grandpa?" Rory asked.

"I have to go out of town for four days to South Dakota of all places!" he said, "My plane leaves in two hours. I have to be at the airport in forty-five minutes! That Floyd! One of these days I am going to pop that man right in the nose!" he said bunching up his fists for dramatic effect.

"Richard, I know you've been on trips before, why are you so upset with this one?" Laura gently asked.

"Because this is the first time I've gone since you've been home and I can't just run off and leave you alone for four days!" Richard replied.

In spite of herself, Laura had to laugh, "Oh for Heaven's Sake Richard, I'm not four years old!"

As if he was ignoring her, he stepped forward towards Rory, "Rory, would you be willing to stay the night with your grandmother while I'm away."

Suddenly Laura's heart jumped. As much as she was not enjoying being treated liking a shrinking violet, it would be fun to have Rory all to herself for a few nights just the two of them. She nodded her head to Rory in hopes of getting her to agree.

Rory smiled, "Sure Grandpa, that would be just fine. I'll just go home and get some of my things."

Laura was delighted but again tried to swallow her excitement. "I'll see you in a little while," she called to Rory as Rory went out the door.

She went upstairs and helped Richard pack and then it was time for him to go. It was then that she realized they had not been a part even a day since that first time he had shown up on her doorstep and told her he wasn't going to leave her.

"Will you call me tonight?" she asked as she took Richard's hand as they walked down the stairs together.

"Of course," Richard said gently, "And you call me anytime, if you need anything alright?"

"Alright," she nodded.

They got to the front door when he put down his suitcases and took her in his arms. He reached down and traced the outline of her lips with his finger.

"I'll miss you," Laura whispered.

"I'll miss you too," Richard replied and then reached up and caressed her cheek with his knuckles.

Laura smiled sadly, "You better go,"

He bent down and kissed her like a man leaving his wife for the very first time.

"I love you," he whispered in between breaths when they had broken the kiss.

She reached up on her tip toes and kissed him quickly again, "I love you too—now scoot."

She stood at the door and waved to him until he was gone and when she turned back around she was glad that Rory was going to spend the night. It would be terrible lonely without Richard. Trying to get the fact that she wouldn't see her husband for four days out of her mind, she turned her focus to the time with Rory. She remembered how Carol Blake, one of the ladies in the Garden Party club would get ready for her grandchildren from San Francisco for a week every month. But her oldest grandchild was fifteen years old, not a 22 yr old Yale student. She sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. Rory seemed to belong to Richard much more than she did her, she was a part of his world—Yale student, dating a handsome rich young man. She just didn't know how to relate to Rory. And so she asked herself what she had asked herself a thousand times before, "What would Emily do?"

She asked Camille to prepare Rory's room for her and she refreshed herself in the bathroom mirror, wanting to look just perfect. She remembered back to the night when she had first met Rory, when she had clung to her like a sobbing little girl. She looked in the mirror again and brushed her hair behind her ears. Rory needed her grandma. That's who she had to be.

The doorbell rang and she hurried from the room and then walked slowly down the stairs.

"Hello Rory," she said brightly and offered to help her with her bags.

"Hey Grandma," Rory said, walking in.

"Your room is all ready for you," Laura said taking a bag and helping her up the stairs, "Then I thought we could have a little drink and talk."

"Sounds great Grandma," she said smiling and followed her up the stairs.

As soon as she was settled, they went downstairs and Laura poured them a drink, "So," she asked starting the conversation, "How is school?"

"Oh it's fine, happy to be out for the summer. I've been pretty busy."

"I imagine so, your mother constantly talks about your work at the paper and at school. I understand you are quite the student."

Rory smiled and shrugged, "I think she's a little biased."

The two women took another drink again and if they could have read the other's mind they probably would have laughed out loud. Poor Laura was desperately trying to be who she thought this girl's grandmother was, and make Rory feel as comfortable as possible, when in fact she wished that she could have had Rory for awhile in California, when it was just her in her little house, before she had felt Emily looming over her.

Rory also was trying to be someone she really wasn't as she sat and elegantly sipped her drink. She watched her grandmother through her glass and suddenly the memory came back.

"_Ace, Ace wake up," she heard Logan's voice as he was shaking her awake. _

_She stirred and looked up at him, "What?" she asked groggily and then saw the look on his face. Panic like electricity suddenly shot threw her. She sat up, "What is it what's wrong?" _

_Logan handed her the phone, "It's Richard, he sounds kinda frieked out," he said and then sat down next to her and put a hand on her back. _

"_Grandpa?" Rory said as she picked up the phone, "Grandpa what is it?" _

_Her grandfather's voice sounded hoarse and thick. "Rory, I need you to come to the hospital. I need you to come right now. Have Logan drive you," _

"_Grandpa!" she shouted, "What's wrong tell me what's wrong!" _

"_Your mother and grandmother were in a car accident tonight. Your mother's been admitted but she's going to be alright." _

"_And grandma?" _

"_I don't know yet Rory. I need you to come right now…right now." _

_Logan already had his shoes on and grabbed his keys. _

"_We're coming Grandpa," Rory said and grabbed her own shoes and headed out the door behind Logan. _

_Twenty minutes later she ran into the emergency room where she found her grandpa. "Grandpa! Where are they?" she cried out. _

_He caught her by the arms and then pulled her tightly to him. _

"_Grandpa!" she almost screamed it. _

"_Your mother's in room 2," he whispered hoarsely. _

"_Can I see her?" Rory asked. _

_Grandpa was shaking, literally shaking, he looked older than she had ever seen him, "Honey, she had to be sedated." _

"_Sedated? Why?" Rory asked confused and scared, "What about Grandma?" _

_Her grandfather seemed to be frozen, he stared at her unable to speak, "Rory…" he choked out in a whisper. _

"_Grandpa! Where is Grandma? Why did Mom have to be sedated?" she asked again._

_Suddenly Logan understood and placed a firm hand on her shoulder. _

_Her grandfather stepped closer to her, and took a long deep breath, "Honey, they couldn't find your grandmother. They searched and they couldn't find her…they don't think she could have survived." _

_At that Rory let out a small cry, "What does that mean?" _

_Grandpa slowly reached out and brought her into him. _

"_But," she said, her voice muffled in his embrace, "Just because they didn't find her doesn't mean that she's dead, she could have gotten out of the water, she could have walked somewhere for help." _

_He separated himself from her, and cupped her face in his hands. They both knew that wasn't the case. They both knew that Emily Gilmore would never leave without her child. _

"_They found the car and an extensive amount of blood," Richard went on, choking out the words. "Lorelai wasn't bleeding. It was your grandmother," he said. _

_It was then that the full weight of what was happening hit her, she stood back and covered her mouth with her hands, "Oh God, no…oh please no…God no!" she cried out and Richard caught her in his arms as she broke down sobbing. _

"_No!" she started screaming, "No! No! No!" _

_Richard made no attempt to stop her, no attempt to calm her even as the nurses started circling around them. He simply cupped his hand on the back of her head. _

"_Grandma I'm sorry!" Rory sobbed. "I'm sorry!" _

"Rory? Are you alright?" Laura asked looking over at her.

Rory shook herself out of her dream and turned towards her, "Yeah I'm fine Grandma, thank you."

Laura smiled, "That's good."

_The poor dear is bored stiff, what do I do?_

Rory took another drink and looked back at her grandmother. Ever since that first night, when she had seen her grandmother back from the dead, she had made a choice. She would be who she was everywhere else, but when she was with Grandma, if it killed her she was going to be the person Grandma wanted her to be. The bitter guilt over her behavior before the accident haunted her still and she wanted more than anything to make it up to her, even if Grandma couldn't remember it.

"So, how is Logan?" Laura asked, desperate to keep the conversation rolling.

"He's fine, just great. We are really thriving in our relationship right now."

"Well, that's great," Laura said smiling and again there was silence between them.

Finally, Laura Baker made up her mind. She had a granddaughter here who she desperately wanted to know and wasn't getting anywhere with. She couldn't second guess herself anymore, she couldn't pretend to be someone she wasn't—at least for one night she needed a break. For one night Emily Gilmore was out of the picture, for one night, she would just be herself.

"Would you excuse me for a minute Dear?" she asked Rory and then went upstairs. Ten minutes later she came back downstairs in jeans and a white blouse.

"What do you say we go out for pizza?" she asked the very surprised Rory.

TBC—Next up, Rory and Emily's sleepover.


	29. Reconnecting With Sweetie

Disclaimer: This is an original story based upon the characters of Gilmore Girls. No profit will be made from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Note: Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed. I hope this story isn't getting old and that you don't think the chapters are stale. I do have a definite plan on where this story is going. Some of you have asked if Laura is going to get her memory back. All I can say is that I do know whether she will or not. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this next installment.

"Okay," Laura said with a very serious look on her face, "I am going to ask you a serious question and the way you answer this will determine the status of our relationship for years to come. This is serious business."

"Okay, shoot" Rory said.

Laura reached behind her and picked up two bags and then faced her granddaughter. "Choose wisely," she said and then brought two bags of Doritos out from behind her back. "Cool Ranch, or Nacho Cheese"

Rory giggled, "Nacho cheese definitely," she said.

Laura smiled, "You have chosen wisely," she said adding the Doritos to the grocery cart that held a package of microwave kettle corn and the ingredients for making chocolate chips cookies. They had gone to Pizza Hut for some pizza and now were getting the supplies for the rest of the night. Laura had given Camille, Rachel and Jean the night off and it was going to be just the two of them. Laura was so excited.

"So, from here we go to the movie store, anything you particularly want to see?" she asked as they started checking out.

Rory shook her head, "Not really," she answered and then suddenly started to giggle.

"What?" Laura asked.

"It's nothing, it's just…." she started and then laughed harder, "Once you and Grandpa invited me over for a movie night. And when I got there that night, you had our own little movie theater there waiting, complete with a movie reel, a popcorn stand and our own little movie attendant who gave us tickets to come into the living room and watch the movie."

"Really?" Laura said smiling. It was obviously a pleasant memory for Rory and that made her happy.

They decided on a Meg Ryan/Tom Hanks movie night and headed back home with Sleepless in Seattle and You've Got Mail.

First they decided to make the chocolate chip cookies. Laura strapped on one of the aprons she had brought with her and gave one to Rory too. The kitchen was equipped with an electric mixer but Laura had never had one in Bentley and so she went for the bowl and wooden spoon.

"So, what did Paris say when you told her article on the need for greater drinking fountain disinfectant procedures was too boring?" Laura asked as she emptied the butter into the bowl. She had yet to remeet Paris but was interested to meet this eccentric friend of Rory's.

"She basically pulled out all the documentation on the research she had done and went on and on and on and on about it until I finally relented to let her put it in as long as she kept out the part about she theorizes that if someone really wanted to kill us off all they would have to do is implant anthrax or small pox into one drinking fountain and we would kill the entire country off in a matter of a week."

Laura gave her a curious look, "Are you serious?"

Rory rolled her eyes, "In matters of Paris I am always serious."

"So, tell me more about Logan. How long have you been seeing him?" Laura asked.

Rory smiled, "Well we went through a breakup last year, but got back together so I would say about three years,"

"And do you love him?" Laura asked.

Rory smiled as she measured out the flour. "Like this?" she asked.

"Level it off at the top with a knife," Laura instructed.

"Yes I do," Rory responded after a minute. "We've been through some hard times, but I really do love him."

Laura smiled, "That's wonderful."

Rory reached into the cupboard by the stove and brought out two cookie sheets, "You know," Rory said in a teasing voice, "There was a time when you didn't even know where the cookie sheets were in here."

Laura sighed, "Oh you are kidding,"

Rory smiled, "Nope, once the cook got snowed in and I was here for dinner and the only thing we had was a frozen pizza. You had never had a frozen pizza before and you acted like I was about to feed you worms or something."

Laura shook her head, "Well, I guess that's one thing good that has come out of all of this, I know how to cook now," she said as she started mixing in the flour.

"You enjoy it don't you?" Rory asked.

Laura smiled, "I really do. I wish I could do it more."

"Why don't you then?"

"Because that's what we have a cook for."

"That's my point Grandma, why do you have a cook?" Rory asked, as she opened the bag of chocolate chips.

Laura didn't answer because she didn't know what to answer. Had she wanted a cook? No. Did she do it because Richard told her to? Not really. She had done it because she was in Emily Gilmore's world now and in Emily Gilmore's world there was a cook.

"It makes things easier," she said and then took out two spoons to start sppoing the golden dough onto the sheet.

She gave two to Rory as well and showed her how to take a spoonful of dough and slide it off onto the sheet with the other spoon.

"That's it," she said as they went along. She gave one cookie sheet to Rory to fill and she did the other one.

They worked in silence for a moment and then Laura looked over and watched Rory fill the sheet. "You're doing a great job Sweetie," she said and turned back to her own sheet.

To her great surprise, suddenly Rory's spoons clattered to the floor and when she turned around the young woman was staring at her, with tears in her eyes.

"What is it?" Laura asked with concern. Rory turned and ran out the door and up the stairs.

Laura did not have much experience with this sort of thing, so she gave Rory a few minutes and then with some trepidation went up the stairs and knocked softly at her door. Things had been going so well, she hoped she hadn't done something to offend Rory.

"Rory?" she asked gently. "Can I come in?"

"Yes," came the muffled reply.

She opened the door and saw Rory lying on her bed crying. She moved towards her and put a hand on her shoulder. "Rory? Sweetie did I do something to hurt your feelings?"

Rory squeezed her eyes shut in a futile attempt to block out the tears and then turned to her grandmother, "No, no Grandma you didn't do anything wrong…it's just…you haven't called me that in a long time."

Laura looked at her in confusion.

"Sweetie," she replied, "You haven't called me Sweetie in a long time."

Laura reached up and put her hand on the top of Rory's head. "It's alright Rory," she said, "I'm here now."

Rory shook her head, "It's not just that Grandma. It's not just that I thought you were dead. I…"

"It's okay Rory," Laura said gently, "You can tell me."

Rory looked at her grandmother and her face crumpled again, "It was my fault Grandma. It was all my fault."

"What was Sweetie?"

She went quiet then and Laura reached over and gently put her hand on her back. Rory stared down at the bed spread for about five minutes and then looked up.

"Two years ago, I went through a really bad time. Someone I trusted and respected turned my world upside down and I dropped out of Yale and got arrested because of it. You and Grandpa took me in, you helped me through it. Mom and I were fighting and I didn't know where to go or what to do. I was really messed up."

Laura reached up and caressed the back of her head. "Go on,"

"After awhile I just got more and more confused, but I realized I needed to move out of your house and go back to school. I needed to make it back on my own and not let it get me down."

"That sounds right," Laura agreed.

Rory shook her head, "No it wasn't right Grandma. I mean it was right that I moved out, it was right that I went back to school but I was terrible to you Grandma. We were fighting all the time, we weren't even talking and when we were talking it was through the maid. And one day I just left. I didn't leave a note I didn't say goodbye I just left. And I blamed everything on you Grandma. I thought I was finally making it right, I had made up with my mom, I had a job, I had my own place, I was going back to school, but I didn't have anything to do with you or grandpa."

"Well, sounds like I wasn't really all that nice to you myself," Laura said.

Rory shook her head, "Grandma, none of that matters now, none of it. When the car accident happened…I just thought that night in the hospital that you had died thinking that I hated you, that you had lost me. I was…oh Grandma I was wrong. I'm sorry. I was wrong."

Laura leaned forward and hugged the girl to her, "It's alright Rory. You made a mistake. So did I. It's alright now."

She held her in her arms and rocked her back and forth for a moment and then when Rory broke the hug and looked at her, she rested her hand on the girls' cheek and reached up a thumb to wipe a tear out of her eye.

"So, I guess that's why I freaked out downstairs. That night, in the hospital, I just kept thinking, if I could just have you for five more minutes, it would be to tell you I'm sorry and to hear you call me Sweetie again."

Laura laid down on her side on the bed and patted the spot next to her, "Sweetie come here," she said and Rory laid down next to her, Laura put her arms around her.

"You know I don't remember anything right?" she asked.

Rory nodded.

"Nothing, I have absolutely no memory before Bentley."

Rory nodded again.

"But there are certain things that make me remember my former life, just feelings, even when I was in Bentley. I always loved the scent of lilacs and felt they were a connection to my former life, I was mesmerized by the color black for some reason, and now I know it was because it is the color of my little girl's hair," she said and tightened her grip on Rory. "You know what else? I used to watch My Fair Lady with Audrey Hepburn and every time I saw that woman it just made me so happy."

Rory reached down and touched the locket she hadn't taken off since Grandpa had put it on her. She turned it around and put her hand over the words, "Grandma's Little Audrey"

"Your grandpa once told me that some things are stronger than amnesia. That's why I fell in love with him all over again, that's why I loved your mother even before I saw her for the first time, and that's why I loved you from the moment I first saw you in that police station."

Rory stifled a small sob and put her head against her grandma's chest.

"Do you know what I think Rory?" Laura asked.

"What?" she replied.

"Grandpa told me how Lorelai ran away when she was younger, I think that must have hurt me a great deal."

"Yeah it did Grandma," Rory said, reaching up a palm and brushing tears out of her eyes.

"Well you know what I think?" she said, resting her head on top of Rory's. "I think you are the reason I remembered how to smile."

The two women just laid there for a minute, Laura keeping her arms around Rory, starting to cry tears of her own as she realized she had finally connected with this member of the family. Finally she kissed the top of the girl's head and said, "Should we go finish our cookies?"

Rory nodded, "Let's go."

They finished their cookies and ate them at the kitchen table dunking the soft gooey cookies into ice cold milk. They talked about school, the paper and Logan, Laura told Rory stories about her life in Bentley, about Josie and her children. Then they decided to get into their pajamas for the movie. It was almost too much for Rory when Laura poured the Doritos and popcorn into a bowl and poured two glasses of soda and started to take them into the family room to watch the movie. She chuckled to herself as she remembered the story when her own mother had spilled grape juice on the carpet when she was one year old and had let a few drops drip from her bottle and the expense it cost to clean it up, which her grandmother had told every time anyone dared to talk about bringing food anywhere except the kitchen.

They ended up only watching one movie, and decided they would save the next one for tomorrow. Rory went upstairs to finish getting ready for bed while Laura cleaned up and then went upstairs and gently knocked on her door.

"Come in" Rory called and Laura stepped in, Rory was sitting Indian style on her bed, brushing her long brown hair with a silver plated brush.

"That's lovely," Laura said, and Rory handed her the brush, "Where did you get it?" she asked.

"You gave it to me, on my fourteenth birthday," Rory replied.

Laura smiled, "Oh I was hoping you'd say that, I'm glad I have good taste."

Rory laughed and Laura sat down on the bed and took Rory's place brushing her hair.

They sat in silence again for a few minutes, both of them just enjoying each other's company, and then Rory whispered softly, "Were you scared? To come here I mean."

Laura stopped brushing and nodded, "Yes, I was a little. Bentley was the only life I knew, the only life I really ever had known."

Rory turned to her and smiled, "I'm glad you came back."

Laura smiled, and put her forehead against her granddaughters, "So am I Rory, so am I."

She stood up and Rory laid back down on the bed. "Goodnight Grandma," she said and suddenly if the rest of the night hadn't surprised her already, she was absolutely astounded now as the other pillow from the side of her bed suddenly came down and whapped her on the side of her head.

She stood up and looked astounded and the lady was looking rather pleased with herself. "Grandma!" she exclaimed.

Laura giggled, "I've always wanted to try that," she said smiling.

Rory instantly grabbed her own pillow and pelted one and her grandmother in return.

Laura laughed and before long the two of them were going at it full force. Soon white fluffy feathers began to fly around them like wild snow and they laughed delightedly as it fell around them. Finally, when each pillow had been completely gutted and it's contents lay scattered around the room, the two women collapsed on the bed giggling, breathing hard.

"I love you Grandma" Rory breathed between bursts of laughter.

"I love you too Sweetie," Laura replied.


	30. The Honeymoon is Over

Disclaimer: This is an original story based on the characters of Gilmore Girls. No profit will be made from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Note: Thanks for all who read and reviewed the last chapter. As always I appreciate it that was a fun one to write. I hope you enjoy this next installment!

The air was cool and breezy as it swept through the bedroom. Laura stretched and smiled as the summer air gently woke her up. She opened her eyes and turned to see Richard lying next to her, still in his pajamas with one hand propped up against head, watching her with delight.

"Hi," she said smiling. Richard had been home from his trip for five days now and it had been so good to have him back. It had been during those days he was gone that she wondered how she had ever slept alone, without his warmth, the sound of his breathing, the way how sometimes late at night, he would put his strong arm around her and she put her head on his chest.

"Hi," Richard said and wondered that if Emily had her memory back if she would call him an idiot for lying there staring at her like a teenager.

She reached up and brushed the back of her finger down his cheek. He took up her hand and kissed her palm.

"Richard," Laura asked smiling, "What do you stare at when I'm not around?"

His only reply was to take her face in his hands and kiss her. When they broke the kiss, he lay down next to her and took her in his arms. She put her head on his chest and for a moment they just laid there, feeling safe in each other's embrace, the breeze smelling of the promise of a hot summer day gently filling the room with cool air that wouldn't last very long.

"I don't want to get up," Laura whispered, burrowing her toes in the cool sheets and her head more into Richard's warmth.

"Me neither," Richard said, kissing the top of her head, "I saw we stay like this all day."

"I'm game," she said, "Except you have something we like to call work, and I have to go to Stars Hollow and see our daughter who I have not seen in nine days and eight hours."

Richard chuckled making Laura laugh as her head bobbed up and down with his chest. "Are you going through withdrawals?" he asked.

"Yes," she admitted. She knew she was being silly, but she had missed Lorelai a lot and couldn't wait to see her. The newlyweds had come home the day before yesterday and while they had talked on the phone, she hadn't seen her yet and she couldn't wait.

"Well, if we must we must," Richard sighed and the two of them got out of bed and went through their morning ritual. After a breakfast of grapefruit, blueberry muffins and coffee, Richard headed off to the office, and Laura stood at the door and waved goodbye. As soon as Richard turned the corner she turned back inside and was going up to curl her hair so she could leave when she heard a soft muffled cry coming from the hall. She hurried down the hall and there was Camille, dusting the bust of Richard's father that sat on the shelf in the hall. She was trying to control herself, but tiny bursts of sobs were escaping.

"Camille?" Laura took a step forward in concern. "What is it?"

Camille looked up, mortified that she had been caught and quickly tried to dry her tears with the dust rag.

"Camille?" Laura asked again.

"I'm sorry," she said, brushing tears out of her eyes with her hands.

"There's nothing to be sorry about," Laura said, stepping closer to her and putting a hand on her shoulder. "What is it?"

Camille kept quiet for another minute, but the kind face and willingness to listen were something she didn't find everyday in her line of work, and the offer of someone to talk to was just too good to pass up. Laura's caring won her over and Laura brought the girl into the living room and got her to tell her what was on her mind.

"It's just…I can't seem to be pulling up, I can't seem to be getting ahead. It feels like my husband will always be in school and we'll always have money problems. You have been so good to me, and I don't want you to think that I am ungrateful; it's just that we are so tired, we never see each other, and when we do we are so exhausted that we just go to bed. I want to start a family, I want to have children and it seems like we will never have enough to even start our lives."

Laura listened, not knowing if she had ever been through such a thing with Richard or whether they had always had enough money, but as Laura Baker money problems were something she knew about very well. She listened until Camille had told everything that weighed down on her and then she smiled and patted her hand.

"You know what I think?" Laura asked, "I think you need a day off."

"Oh no," Camille shook her head, "I couldn't do that. Rachel doesn't get here until two and I still have so much work to do, and I need the money."

"Sweetie," Laura said adopting a motherly tone, "You need some rest. Tell you what, I'll give you day off with pay. You and I will go to the mall and walk around for a little while, and then I'll take you to lunch. And then, you and your husband are going out to dinner tonight, Richard and I's treat."

The poor woman just stared at her, not believing what she had just heard. "Are you serious?"

Laura answered simply by patting her hand and said, "You better change your clothes, you don't want to go to the mall in your maid's outfit do you?"

Camille smiled, "No Mam."

Laura spent twenty minutes upstairs after she had curled her hair trying to decide between the burgundy skirt outfit she had on, or her jeans and light yellow blouse. In the end, she took the jeans and the blouse if for no other reason than to make Camille feel more comfortable. She made a mental note to herself to change back into the burgundy dress skirt in time for the DAR tea this afternoon. She sighed, it didn't look like she was going to get out to see Lorelai today. But when she saw the worry gone from Camille's face when she came down stairs, it was all worth it.

They spent two hours at the mall, talking and laughing and trying on clothes. It did Laura's heart good to see Camille having fun and enjoying herself. When noon came along, they headed over to the food court and decided on corndogs and lemonade from Hot Dog on a Stick. It had been ages since Laura had had a corn dog, she used to get them all the time at a little stand in Bentley from Joel Crowther. She loved them with some mustard on top.

"I've had a great time Mrs. Gilmore," Camille said as she bent down and took a long drink of her lemonade.

"Me too Dear," she said as she took a bite of her corn dog and then looked up and the expression on her face changed.

Camille saw the change and looked back to see who she was looking at. There were three classy dressed women coming towards them.

"Who are they?" Camille asked.

_Trouble _

"Erica, Stephanie, Patricia, how nice to see you," she said standing and greeting the women who she knew were shocked to see Emily Gilmore at the food court in the mall with her maid. She extended her hand towards Camille, "This is my friend Camille," she said to which one of the women burst out a spurt of giggles that made Camille turn red.

"Emily," Patricia Morgan said smiling like a conniving cat, "I am so looking forward to the tea this afternoon." She looked over to Camille and the smile broadened. "And I'm sure we will look forward to seeing you there too in your cute little maid outfit. See you later Emily," she said as the three turned and walked away.

Laura's face burned with anger as she turned back to Camille. She was at a loss of words of what to say. She had never experienced that kind of behavior in Bentley and didn't know how to deal with it now.

"So, where would you and Tom like to go out to dinner tonight? The city is yours," Laura said sitting back down.

Camille shot her a grateful look knowing that she was trying not to make a big deal about it. However, the girl did have pride and suddenly the offer of a dinner out with Tom seemed like a charity offering instead of a friendly gesture and she knew that even though the past few hours had been fun, Mrs. Gilmore belonged in one world and she belonged in another.

"Camille," Laura said seeming to sense her thoughts, "None of that means anything. I want you to have a nice night out with Tom…please. You've done so much to make my house nice. I just want to do something nice for you."

Camille nodded, never ceasing to be amazed by the woman she had heard so much about as being a tyrant who was turning out to be the nicest person she had ever known. "Alright," she said smiling.

"Good," Laura said.

She sent Camille home for the rest of the day and then went home and straightened up a few things before Rachel came and it was time to change into her dress for the DAR tea. It took everything in her to smile graciously and talk with the three harpy women. Thankfully, most of the subject was directed towards the auction but she noticed that the three woman were looking around for Camille with snooty looks on their faces. Laura felt her insides tighten, she wished Rory was here. Rory had called that afternoon and said that she was busy with the paper and not able to make it. She was glad when it was all over, and each of the ladies left. Richard came home shortly after that, and decided after dinner to drive over to Stars Hollow and see Lorelai. Laura was sitting on the bed, putting her gold angel earrings in, and Richard was putting on a jacket when there was a light knock at the door. Laura went to open it and Rachel was standing there.

"Yes Rachel?" Laura asked.

"Excuse me Mam, but Camille is here and she needs to talk to you."

"Of course, I'll be right there," she said. "Richard, I'll be right back." She called to her husband and then went down the stairs.

Camille looked troubled standing in the hall. Laura could hear a car motor running outside. Tom must be in the car waiting.

"Camille, did you have a nice dinner? Would you like to come in? Is that Tom in the car?"

For one moment, she wanted to tell Laura all about the dinner she had, how Julia Kentworthy and her husband had been in the restaurant, how Julia had come up to her in the ladies restroom and told her that she had heard what happened and that she had no business being friends with Emily Gilmore, that maids should know their place, that Emily was trying to remember her life and that she was not helping her at all. But it was better this way, she didn't want to cause trouble with Mrs. Gilmore and her friends. It was better that she just find another job, working for someone who would keep her in her place. She took out a piece of paper and gave it to Laura.

"I need to give my two weeks notice," she said and a look of shock and hurt crossed Laura's face.

"What on earth?" she asked.

"I just need to do it, it's something I've needed to do for awhile but I didn't want to leave you high and dry. But Tom and I talked it over and I really need to look for something else."

Laura's heart started to tighten, "This is about this afternoon isn't? Camille, those ladies opinion doesn't mean anything to me. I don't care what they say."

Camille swallowed hard and smiled sadly, trying to hide her feelings, "Mrs. Gilmore, really it isn't. I just need to find somewhere that would be more conducive to my needs."

"So tell me what your needs are and I'll conduce to them!" Laura said, her voice cracking a little.

Camille smiled, and put the note in her hand. "I'm sorry Mrs. Gilmore," she said and turned and walked out the door.

Laura stood there in the hall for a moment, holding the note in her hand and then she crumpled it and walked back upstairs. She walked into the room and slammed the door which caused Richard to explode out of his closet. "What's wrong?" he asked.

She turned towards him, "Richard, I am going to start teaching piano lessons again."

Richard looked at her startled, "Okay, where is this coming from?"

She sighed heavily and sat down on the bed, "I asked you how you felt about the day before Lorelai's wedding and we didn't get a chance to discuss it."

Richard sat down next to her, "I remember," he said, "But as I recall that question was without slamming of the doors, what brought that on?" he asked, putting a hand on her back and rubbing it.

She turned to him, "Camille just quit her job, she just quit her job and it's my fault. I took her to the mall today and we ran into three snobbish ladies from the DAR that treated her like trash and tonight she quit."

"Darling, the turnover rate is quite high among maids. It's just the way they are. You can't blame yourself."

She gave him a curious look, "Richard, that girl was happy here. She enjoyed her work and I enjoyed having her around. She said it didn't have anything to do with this morning but I don't believe her."

"I'm sorry Emily, I didn't know it meant that much to you. I still don't understand what all of this has to do with teaching piano lessons."

"It has everything to do with it Richard, that's what I do, I want to feel like I'm contributing to the world, I want to work again."

"Emily…"

She stood up and then knelt down in front of him, "Richard please,"

There was a moment of silence between them, in which time Richard Gilmore was going through a struggle inside of himself. He hadn't forgot about Emily's question but had hoped she had. It was such a simple thing, teaching piano lessons during the day, what was wrong about that? But it was wrong, he felt like Tevye from Fiddler on the Roof. This just wasn't done. The wives in their circle were corporate wives, that's what they did. He didn't want to sound in the dark ages, he was for woman's right, but this had never been an issue before. He had his work, and Emily had her social engagements, her parties, her charity work. That was what they had always done. What would their neighbors think? Most children around here had music lessons at their private school or private lessons with piano masters who charged four hundred dollars a month. There just was no such thing as a local piano teacher that was just your normal everyday June Cleaver.

"Richard…"Laura prodded bringing him out of his thoughts. "I don't want to hire another maid. Rachel can come in the afternoons and help me but I want to clean my own house. I don't want another maid."

"Emily…I just want you to be happy," Richard said.

She reached up and took his hands, "Then support me in doing these things. They are what makes me happy."

He shook his head and put his hand over hers.

"Richard," Laura said, "I'm not asking to become a stripper and work in a bar. I want to teach piano. I want to clean my own house."

"Emily, this is the way things are," he said. "We have maids. The women in our circle do charity work and are corporate wives. This is the way things are. I'm sorry."

Suddenly Laura took her hands away and looked up at him, "Richard what are you saying? Are you telling me I can't…Are you forbidding it?"

"Emily, it's just not what we do."

She stood up, "It is what I do! So you are forbidding it? You are telling me I can't."

Richard thought about that for a moment and knew better than to tell his wife he was forbidding anything. But it was the hesitation that did him in.

"Richard what is wrong with you?" Laura suddenly snapped.

"I am just trying to explain to you why it wouldn't work," Richard replied, "I'm not forbidding anything."

"Oh so if I went down the grocery store right now and made a little sign with my telephone number cut off in strips saying, 'Call Emily Gilmore,' you would be just fine with that?"

Richard sighed heavily, "No,"

Laura gave a sarcastic snort and stood up, "You know what, you are all the same, all of you. You are the most pompous, arrogant self-centered people and you don't care about anybody but yourself and your money."

Her words stung more than he thought they would and he stood up, "That's not true!" he snapped back.

"It is true!" she yelled. "You are all alike! You're afraid that I would embarrass you by teaching piano lessons, by going to the mall in jeans, by becoming friends with maids!"

"What on earth are you talking about?" Richard barked.

She pointed to herself, "This is what I am Richard, this is all I am. I am Laura Baker," she saw the hurt on his face momentarily and she was sorry and then the anger flashed and it frightened her a little. He stepped forward and took her by the shoulders.

"You are not Laura Baker, you are Emily Gilmore, THAT is who you are. You never were anyone else and as much as that man wanted to pretend you were, you weren't. You are my wife, you belong in Connecticut and like it or not this is your world!"

She stared at him, startled and hurt at his yelling but even more that apparently the promise of returning to Bentley if she needed to was all a lie. She felt tears burning in her eyes but refused to cry in front of Richard. She wrested out of his grip and walked out of the room.

"Where are you going?" Richard yelled as she hurried down the stairs.

"I'm going to see my daughter!" she yelled back and slammed the door behind her.


	31. Laura meets Luke

Disclaimer: This is an original story based upon the characters of Gilmore Girls. No profit will be made from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Note: Sorry to be so long in updating again. My life has been a little crazy. Just had all of my family in town last week. I hope all is well with all of you and I hope you enjoy this next installment.

When the diner bell rang and Luke looked up from taking Andrew's order and saw Emily Gilmore there, he had to swallow the initial squeamish feeling that came up in his stomach. Emily's past visits to the diner were not times he wanted to remember. She seemed to be looking around for something and she was visibly upset.

"Emily?" he asked, putting down the order and coming towards her, "Are you okay?"

Laura swallowed hard as Luke approached her, trying to pull herself together. She had been crying on the way to Stars Hollow and when she couldn't find Lorelai at home or at the inn, she was feeling a little desperate. She didn't want to fall apart in front of Luke though.

"Luke, hello…" she said, and nervously brushed some hair behind her ears. "How are you?"

"Fine, just fine," Luke said. "Are you okay?" he asked again.

"Yes, I'm fine," she said, "I was looking for Lorelai, have you seen her?"

"Lorelai got called away on a meeting. She won't be back until tomorrow." Against all reasoning, he put out a hand and placed it on Laura's elbow, "Are you sure you're okay?"

She started to nod again, but the news that the one person she had been aching to talk to and might understand her was gone was the poor woman's undoing and she sat down in a chair and put her head in her hands letting little bursts of sobs escape.

If Luke had felt uncomfortable at this new Emily who was suddenly nice to him before, he felt he was in the Twilight Zone now with this Emily who was suddenly crying, which was something he had supposed she had never done, in his dirty filthy not good-enough-to-kiss-the-ground-my-daughter-walks-on diner. He was completely at a loss of what to do. It didn't take long however, because as Jess had pointed out so long ago, Luke was a fixer and though Jess had meant it in a demeaning way, that was who Luke Danes was. He watched her and if there was any trace of the old bitter condescending Emily there, they completely melted away and all he saw was someone hurting.

"Hey Ceaser, take over a minute will ya?" he called, and reaching down a hand to his mother in law he helped her up and brought her outside.

Laura brushed the tears out of her eyes and sighed, "I'm sorry Luke."

"It's okay…" he said, "Is Richard okay?"

She nodded, "Yes, Richard's fine he's just fine."

Luke waited for her to continue when she said suddenly, "I am dying for an ice cream cone, is there somewhere we could go to get one?"

Luke smiled, "Yeah, I know a good place."

He didn't want to expose an Emily with no defenses to Kirk or Taylor so he opted out of the Soda Shoppe and instead chose the little stand right next to the park.

"Fudge pecan," Laura swooned as they took their cones to a bench in the park. "I never thought I would have this again after leaving Bentley. I've looked for it in the stores in Hartford. I can't find it. My friend Jo and I would get ice cream cones like this every once in awhile." She smiled fondly and looked around the town, so quiet and magical as the sun was setting, with little tufts of cotton from the trees sparkling in the sun. "It's amazing how much this place reminds me of ho…Bentley." She sighed and took the first bite of her ice cream. "Richard and I had a fight," she said and Luke suddenly felt his heart beat at a hundred miles an hour. If there was one thing he did not want to do it was talk about his mother-in-law's marital problems.

Laura chuckled when she saw his face, "Don't worry Son, I wouldn't talk to you about that. I'm just confused."

"About?" Luke prodded.

"Myself," she answered. "I mean, how would you feel if you thought you were one person but you really knew you were this completely other person, but you didn't think you'd ever remember being this other person so you decide to be the person you think you are. Until, one day this man walks into your life and you fall head over heels for him, you have this kid you adore and a granddaughter you adore and so you decide to be this person you really are, but you can't remember being that person, all you know is who you are now!" she said finishing off with a long sigh.

"Wow…" Luke said, "I'm confused just hearing you explain it."

Laura smiled and sighed, "I love Richard more than I have ever loved anything. I know that for sure. I love Lorelai and Rory, but beyond that, I'm completely clueless. Try as I might, I don't belong in this world but I don't belong in the world back in Bentley because I'm lost without them."

"Maybe that's all you need to know right now," Luke said.

"What do you mean?"

"You said that's all you know, that you love Richard, Lorelai and Rory. Can that be enough right now?" Luke asked.

She sat back and thought about that one for a moment. She did love them, but they wanted her to be something she wasn't. Richard wanted her to be Emily and she didn't know how to be Emily. She couldn't remember and she didn't know if she ever would. That had been okay at first, Richard had told her, Richard had promised her…they would go home if it didn't work out. At first she had been angry, furious that Richard had broken his promise, but was that fair. All Richard wanted was his wife back, in their home. Bentley was Laura Baker's home, but Richard was right, she was Emily Gilmore. Didn't she owe him that much? To at least try to be the woman he had been married to for forty years?

"Emily," Luke said interrupting her thoughts, "People change. You've changed. You can't expect to go back to the person you were before the accident. I'm not saying that I think you should try to. Richard's changed too. Emily, I was there the night Lorelai was brought in. I've never seen anyone so shattered as he was when they told him there was no hope of finding you. Be patient with him Emily, that's the only advice I have," he smiled sadly. "I know how stupid we guys can be sometimes when it comes to the women we love. Tell him how you feel, but just be patient with him."

Laura nodded, "Thank you Luke,"

Luke nodded back, "You're welcome," and then swallowed as he said something that he never would have expected to say to Emily Gilmore, "Richard loves you because of who you are. Just be yourself."

Laura smiled gratefully and patted the top of his hand, "Thank you Luke. I can certainly see why Lorelai chose you."

"Thank you Emily," Luke said, not knowing how much those words meant to him after so much time of never feeling good enough for Emily.

They finished their cones as they walked back to Emily's car and this time there was no awkwardness as Luke gently kissed Emily's cheek and gave her arm a reassuring squeeze. "I'll have Lorelai call you as soon as she gets home."

"Thank you Dear," Laura said as she started towards the car.

"See you later Emily," Luke said smiling.

"Luke will you do me a favor?"

"Yes?"

"When it's just you and me…call me Laura,"

"Okay Laura," Luke said, "Drive safe."

She smiled, "I will,"

It was dark by the time she reached home and she was not surprised but more that a little relieved to see Richard's outline in the front yard, and though she didn't know how long he had been there waiting for her return, it warmed her heart that he was. When she pulled into the driveway and he stepped into the light she could see the concern in those beautiful blue eyes and when he opened the car door, there was no chiding, no questions, just two big strong arms to step into, and a warm comforting body to nestle her head into and listen to the most comforting heartbeat in the world. Tenderly, as he held her in his arms, he reached up and stroked her hair.

"I'm sorry," he whispered gently.

"No Richard, I'm the one that's sorry. I was only thinking about what I wanted. That wasn't fair to you."

He reached down and putting a finger under her chin, lifted it to meet him, "I love you Emily. I want you to be happy."

"I'm happy as long as I'm with you Richard," she steadied herself as she said the next part, because though she believed what she had just said with all of her heart, it still broke her heart a little to give up her Laura dreams. "Nothing else matters. I love you too." He reached down and kissed her and she relaxed into the kiss. As they broke it, she looked up and smiled.

"I'm really liking this kiss and make up thing,"

"Me too," Richard said, massaging her cheek with his knuckles, "Want to fight again."

She wrapped her arm around him and started towards the house, "I think once in one night is fine with me."

That night as Laura lay in bed, listening to the sounds of Richard's breathing, she thought of Luke's words. She couldn't go back to being the person she was before the accident, but she couldn't go back to being the person she was before she met Richard too. That life was over, she had made her choice. She loved Richard and his life was her life now.

Suddenly she felt a hand touch her shoulder and Richard gently put his head against her. She reached over and placed a hand over his and kissed the top of his head.

"Emmy, are you really happy here?"

She bit her lower lip and hoped that Richard didn't hear the hesitation in her voice, "Yes Darling," she said. "I am happy."

TBC!


	32. The Charity Auction

Disclaimer: This is an original story based upon the characters of Gilmore Girls. No profit will be made from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Note: Thanks for the feedback on the last chapter, I really appreciate it! The summer is flying by, before you know it we'll have new episodes! Yay! Sorry to be a bit longer between updates, life is pretty busy! Enjoy!

"Andrews, Camille Andrews," Laura said as she sighed in frustration into the phone. "Look you must be able to tell me something, does she have a new job, who is she working for?"

"I know you can't give out any personal information," she said, raising her voice. "Look, I'm not a serial killer, I'm not an ax murderer, all I want to know is if a maid that quit my house a week and a half ago has found another job. I want to make sure she's okay."

Once again the lady told her that they could not give any information and Laura slammed the phone into the receiver in frustration. She ran her fingers through her hair and stepped up to the window, parting the curtains as if she was waiting for a lost child to come home. It had been a week and a half since Camille had quit and she was worried. Had she found another job? Were she and her husband okay? Did they need help financially?

The three methodical chimes of the clock woke her out of her thoughts and she turned and went upstairs. It was the day of the charity auction for the DAR. It was a good day for it, not too hot, a cooler breeze in the air. She chose a light creamy-colored pant suit for the occasion and as she fastened her diamond earrings in her ears she looked in the mirror. She stood back and brushed her hair behind her ears. It had been over a week since she and Richard had fought, Luke had told her to be patient, and she had come home again telling Richard that as long as she was where he was she was happy. And she could almost convince herself that she really was happy until she looked in the mirror. She didn't know that person anymore. She liked the pretty clothes but the glamorous woman in diamond earrings standing before her was a complete stranger. Her thoughts were interrupted by a soft knock at the door.

"Mrs. Gilmore? You wanted me to tell you when it was a quarter to four?"

"Thank you Rachel," she responded and taking one last look at the stranger in the mirror, she grabbed her handbag and headed out her door.

The banquet hall was decorated beautifully with large crystal vases filled with white gardenias, white tablecloths with elegant china dishes and sparkling silver. For a moment, Laura forgot her awkwardness and felt like a little child in awe of the beauty surrounding her. If there was one thing she loved about DAR parties it was seeing the elegance and beauty of the decorations. She had never had such resources back in Bentley and she wished just once she could do the decorating for one of the DAR parties with the kind of resources they had.

"Emily!" Biddy Charelston called out, shaking her out of her dreamy state. "Darling how are you?" Biddy came closer and kissed each of her cheeks.

_And so it begins_

"I'm just fine Biddy, how are you?" she replied cordially as three other DAR ladies descended on her. She greeted each of them while scanning the crowd for Rory. Her heart sank a little as she didn't see her. The ladies began to talk about the weather and Eunice Potsworth's broken toe, Joseph and Annabelle Goodsen were fighting again, Janessa Hendricks daughter was almost engaged to the Harold boy, and on and on and on. Laura tried to look interested as she continued watching the door for Rory's appearance. Finally, she spotted her and called out for her. Rory turned and headed towards them. Laura watched with pride as the girl walked towards them. She was lovely, dressed in classy tan slacks with a creamy white blouse and her dark hair pulled up in a fancy twist.

"Hello ladies, hello Grandma!" Rory said as she approached and all the ladies flocked to her, hugging her to them. By the time she reached Laura, she smelled of at least three different types of old perfume.

"Hey Grandma," Rory said smiling.

"Hey Sweetie," Laura said back, giving the girl's hand a little squeeze hoping that she conveyed how glad she was to see her. They continued listening to the other's talk occasionally giving each other a little wink or a roll of the eyes and then Bettina Christensen, the current president of the DAR a large woman with a loud booming voice took her place up front and said the auction was about to begin. Laura quickly grabbed Rory before any of the other ladies could steal her and pulled her to a chair.

"So how's everything?" she whispered.

"Good," Rory replied.

"The paper? Logan?"

"Great and fabulous."

Laura chuckled, "Good for you,"

The auction started and different pieces of art, busts of statesman and music composers, antique Victorian furniture, and other different things came up for bid. Laura watched as each item came and went with little interest and started doodling on her bidding program. She hadn't really looked through it, partly because she felt like the train station house had too much stuff in it as it was, and partly because the bids were starting at least 100 dollars and going for often in the range of thousand dollars and she simply wasn't used to the fact yet that she had that kind of money to spend. She happened to glance up as a new item was coming up for bid and suddenly took in a sharp breath.

There it was! The bone china tea set that had been in Shockley's Department Store window back in Bentley for so long. She had passed it all the time and admired it. It was a cream colored bone china, with a tea pot, three cups and saucers, a cream and sugar bowl, and a large platter underneath it. There were delicately carved light pink rosebuds all around the cups and a small little bluebird sat on the top of the tea pot. It was just lovely. She had wanted to save up enough money to buy it, but there was always some other expense and so she never did and there it was! Of course it couldn't be the exact same one, but it would be so much fun to take that tea set home now!

Rory watched with amusement as her grandmother looked over people's shoulders towards the tea set the auctioneer was starting. She looked like a kid in a toy store.

"What is it Grandma?" Rory asked.

"That tea set, there was one exactly like it in Bentley, I always wanted it but it was too expensive."

"Well why don't you bid on it now?" Rory replied smiling.

Laura smiled timidly and then the smile broadened, "You know what? I'm going to do it!" she said and as she heard the auctioneer call out for someone to start the bidding she called out "Three hundred dollars" feeling a mixture of pride because surely no one would bid more and complete foolishness for being so extravagant.

The room was silent for a moment, and Rory whispered, "You go Girl." Then another bid came up and Laura looked at Rory hesitantly before bidding again. Rory nodded in encouragement and Laura bid again. The lady in the back who had outbid her before bid again, and Laura was about to quit but than she saw that tea set again. She just had to have it. She bid again, and her face went red as she past five hundred dollars but still the lady in the back bid again. Suddenly, Laura felt her insides tighten

_Alright, if that's the way you want to play_

"Seven hundred and fifty dollars!" Laura called out.

"Eight hundred"

"Eight fifty"

Laura took a deep breath…

_Please Richard don't kill me_

"One thousand dollars!" she called out and then held her breath until the auctioneer cried out a triumphant "Sold!"

"You got it Grandma!" Rory said, hugging her.

Laura smiled, the longed for tea set was finally hers.

The auction went by quickly after that, as Laura examined the tea set delightedly. The luncheon started next, and Laura felt her stomach turn as four of the most snide women of the DAR came and sat down by her and Rory.

"Congratulations Em!" Sarah Delany said, kissing her cheek and sitting next to her.

"Thank you Sarah," she said and greeted the other three ladies cordially as they sat down.

The waiters came and served a watercress salad with a raspberry vinaigrette. The women daintily ate their salads and chatted and Laura was actually starting to really enjoy herself when a blond woman approached her and gave her a little half hug from behind. It took Laura a minute but she remembered her name—Natalie.

"Emily, it was so good to see you back in action today! Ladies, the cobra has returned!" she said which caused the ladies to burst into giggles.

"I'm sorry?" Laura asked confused.

"What Emily Gilmore wants, Emily Gilmore gets. It was so good to see you back today, when you wanted that tea set you wrapped your coils around that poor unsuspecting woman and squeezed and squeezed until you got your way!"

This caused the women to erupt into laughter. "Remember the time she lost the Monet painting to that newcomer woman and she kept tormenting the poor woman until she finally sold it to her for less than she bought it for?" one lady laughed.

"Oh, the time she outbid the catholic priest for the gold virgin Mary statue…that was a classic. She didn't even want it she just didn't like the way the priest looked at her!" another lady laughed.

Only Rory caught the look in the face she knew so well. Her grandmother was smiling, but in her eyes there was a deeper look, a sad confused look.

"So Emily," Natalie said sitting down next to her, "I hear you lost another maid."

Laura's stomach churned, she didn't want to talk about Camille. "Well, yes I did," she admitted quietly.

"So what was it this time?" Natalie asked. "Did she forget to shut the door? Set the table wrong? Were her eyes too close together for your liking?"

"Excuse me?" Laura asked.

Rory felt her insides tighten and alarms were going off in her head. This wasn't good.

"Let's see, there was the one you fired because her shoes were too loud, the one you fired because she put walnuts in the salad, Emily my dear you've gone through more maids than all of us put together," Sarah chimed in and the ladies all laughed again.

Embarrassed, Laura reached down and took another bite of her salad.

Yvonne Castle chuckled and took a sip of wine. "Why, the only time you've kept a maid longer than three weeks was when you and Richard were separated."

Rory's heart stopped, and Laura dropped her fork and it clattered to her plate. She stood up and delicately dabbed her mouth with her napkin. "Camille wasn't fired, she quit," she said quietly and walked away.

"Grandma wait," Rory called and turned towards the ladies after Laura walked away.

"Rory Dear did I say something wrong?" Yvonne called after Rory. Rory turned and said bitterly, "She didn't know, she didn't know about the separation." She turned and hurried after her grandmother.

Laura sat in the bathroom of the hall. The bathroom couch she sat on was ten times as nice as the one she had bought and paid off over six months. She just sat there, counting the number of cream colored tiles on the wall. The door slowly opened and Rory stepped in. "You okay?" she asked.

Laura nodded slowly and Rory came in and sat down next to her, putting her hand on top of her grandmother's hand. "You can't let those women bother you. They don't know you anymore."

She nodded slowly and there was silence between them for a few minutes then Laura slowly asked. "Is it true? The separation…is that true?"

Rory swallowed hard, "Yeah Grandma, it's true."

Laura bit her lower lip, "How long?" she asked.

"Five months…but you both were miserable Grandma. You both hated it."

Laura nodded again, "Well…that makes me feel better, I guess."

"Grandma…"

Laura turned and smiled at her granddaughter, "Sweetie, I need to get out for a little awhile. Apologize to the other's for me will you," she said standing up.

"Do you want me to go with you?" Rory asked.

"No, you stay and enjoy the rest of the event, take the tea set home won't you?" Laura said and turned to walk out the door. She momentarily turned and placed her hand on the side of her granddaughter's cheek and then went out the door.

She felt like she was spinning or the world was spinning and she couldn't figure out which one it was. For a month now, the selfish behavior of the people around her had disgusted her, and now…she had been just like them and they had all thought it was so funny. No wonder Camille had looked terrified the first time she met her. She had been exactly like them. Her heart felt like it was racing. She and Richard had been separated and it didn't matter for how long or how miserable Rory said they had been. They had separated and Richard hadn't told her, Richard had lied to her. What else was he hiding?

She had to pull herself together, Rory was right, she couldn't listen to those women. There had to be an explanation of why Richard had kept it from her. She turned around a corner and found a little pawn shop. Taking a deep breath, she stepped inside, going to pawn shops in Bentley when she had had a bad day always made her feel better. She loved treasure hunting. She walked over to the magazines and looked through them, hoping to find some cooking magazines. Suddenly a magazine caught her eye, and she grabbed it.

It was a magazine called American Travel and it had an article about Lorelai and the Dragonfly Inn! Beaming with pride, Laura flipped through the article, and looked at the pictures. She hurried and paid for it, planning to head for home and then relax reading this article about her girl.

That would make her feel better.

Everything would be fine.


	33. And the Walls Come Tumblin Down

Disclaimer: This is an original story based upon the characters of Gilmore Girls. No profit will be made from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Note: Thanks for all the feedback on the last chapter. I appreciated it. I hope life is going well for all of you. Enjoy!

She rang the doorbell four times. No one answered. Her eyes narrowed as she looked around and saw her mother's car in the driveway. She was here, why wasn't she answering the door? Rory had called an hour ago, and said grandma had left the charity auction upset. Lorelai had cursed herself for being so stupid, for not seeing that this was coming. She had been calling her mother's cell ever since and hadn't gotten through. She left work and knowing that this time her mother probably wasn't in an airplane hanger, she drove to Hartford hoping that she would be home. She had sighed a breath of relief as she had pulled into the driveway and saw her mother's car parked in the garage. She rang the doorbell again, wringing her hands together. Finally, she took out the rapist key as she had come to call it, the one that her mother had given her and then freaked out when she had used it. She opened the door slowly.

"Mom?" she called out. The house was dark and silent. There was no sound, no maid, nothing. "Mom?" she called again as she came further into the hall. "Mom are you here?" She turned towards the living room and gave a little startled cry as she saw her mother sitting there on the couch, facing away from her. "Mom, you scared me. Are you okay?" There was no answer. She moved towards her. "Mom?" she said again, "Mom answer me are you alright?" she said forcefully and when she again received no answer she hurried around the room and the sight of her mother's face took her breath away.

Laura was sitting rigidly straight and was slightly shaking. On her face was a look of complete devastation. There were streaks of mascara all down her cheeks and her eyes were red. She looked beyond crying now, staring straight ahead through the window as if she could see right through Lorelai.

"Mommy what is it? What's wrong?" Lorelai whispered and stepped closer to her putting her hand on top of hers.

At being called "Mommy" Laura closed her eyes as if in physical pain and more tears slid down her cheeks. When she opened them again she turned towards Lorelai and with a look of hurt and betrayal drew her hand away from Lorelai's.

"Mom, what is it?" Lorelai breathed and very slowly Laura reached over to the side and brought out the magazine, opened to the last page of the interview.

Lorelai drew in a sharp breath, "Oh God…Mom." She felt anxiety like electricity was surging through her. She remembered back to when she had first told Rory about the article, boldly defending herself, saying she was tired of protecting people. She remembered how she feared the repercussions of when her mother saw it, half thinking about the hurt it would cause her mother, half thinking of the repercussions that would come to herself from her mother's wrath. And so she had pulled the article, but they hadn't listened to her. So she had to lock herself in the den, making her mother promise that she wouldn't read any more and that they would never talk about it again.

It had never occurred to her that one day her mother would completely forget about that promise. And if she feared her mother's feelings getting hurt then, that paled in comparison to the pain she felt now as she saw the devastation in her mother's face now. Suddenly her father's voice came back to haunt her.

"_You crushed her!" _

"Mom," she said, moving closer and taking her mother's hand's in hers. Laura jerked her hands away and looked past her.

"Mom, don't do this, listen to me," Lorelai pleaded.

Laura's heart literally hurt as she turned towards her beloved child, the girl she had fallen in love with since she had first seen a picture of her. "You lied to me," she whispered bitterly.

"Mom, about the separation, we didn't want to tell you until later on. We thought it would be best. We were trying to protect you."

At that Laura gave a sarcastic snort, "Well you did a lovely job."

"Mom, that article means nothing," Lorelai said quietly. "It means nothing."

Laura chuckled bitterly, "Nothing? Hmm…" she said and picked up the magazine, "My mother had nothing to do with who I am today. Well, let me take that back, I am what I am today because all of my life I have been trying to be the exact opposite of who she is."

"Mom…" Lorelai said again.

"I learned a lot of things from my mother. I consider what my mother would do in a given situation, then I dial it back and I have what Mussolini would do and then I dial it back, and then I have what Stalin would do, and then I dial it back and then I start approaching what a sane person would do."

"Mom stop it,"

"And the limerick, oh I just love this. Boy I raised a child with creativity!"

"Mom, I mean it, stop it." Lorelai said forcefully.

Laura turned and stared at her, "Why? Why do you want me to stop? Is this uncomfortable for you Lorelai? What's the matter?"

"I just don't see what purpose it serves."

"Oh that's where you're wrong sweetheart, it shows a purpose, a very important purpose," she stood up and turned to her daughter. "My life, my existence is a lie. Ever since I came back here I've hated it. I hate this large stupid house, I hate the DAR, I hate the richness and snobbery, and meanness. But I stayed; I stayed because I loved your father, and you and Rory. And that's who I was all along, everything I have learned to hate! Your father lied to me! He told me I was a good mother! He told me I was a good mother!"

"Mom listen to me," Lorelai said standing up, "I was wrong, I tried to stop it. I tried to get them to pull the article."

"But you said those things…" Laura asked.

"Mom…"

"Did you say those things?" Laura yelled.

"Yes! Yes! I said them. You were different then! I was different then!"

Laura picked up the magazine and threw it back down on the floor again, "I don't remember what I was like Lorelai!"

"Mom, I was mad, I was upset. I'm sorry,"

"Why?"

"What?"

"Why were you upset?"

"Mom…"

"Lorelai Gilmore I swear to God if you don't tell me the truth right now…"

"You tried to break up me and Luke Mom alright? You were rude and vicious and mean to him because you didn't think he was good enough. Is that what you want to hear? You want me to tell you the truth? That's the truth!" she shouted.

"You lied to me!" Laura shouted back.

"Mom, what did you want me to do?" Lorelai cried. "What was I supposed to do? Did you want me to tell you about the separation, about the awful relationship the two of us had, me coming up to you at your vow renewal and telling you the two of us were done? Did you want me to tell you that?"

"No, Lorelai that's not what I'm talking about. Ever since that day, that first day that I saw you I loved you more than I remember loving anything. You are my child, my daughter, and since that day you've been my best friend. You lied to me that whole time by giving me the idea I had a great relationship with my kid. That was all a stupid, patronizing lie."

Suddenly something in Lorelai snapped and she took a few steps towards her mother in anger, "Let me tell you something, do you think you are the only one in pain here? Do you think you are the only one that has gone through hell? Let me tell you something about me. I wanted the relationship you and I have now more than anything else in the whole world growing up. That week that we spent together was one of the happiest times in my life. And there was a time when I didn't want you to get your memory back, because I was afraid of it going back the way it was before."

"Boy that makes me feel better," Laura said with a sarcastic laugh.

"I'm not finished!" Lorelai shouted. "Do you have any idea what I went through in that hospital when I woke up and Dad told me you were dead. I wanted to die Mother! I wanted to just shrivel up and die because I lived and you didn't. I hated myself for being the person I had been, for being the daughter I had been," she paused and her face crumpled, "I hated myself for not telling you that I love you!"

Laura took in a sharp breath, "Lorelai, I want to believe that."

Lorelai stepped towards her, tears streaming down her cheeks, "Then believe it."

Laura reached up a hand to touch her child's face and then the sight of the magazine, sprawled out on the ground caught her eye. She drew a deep breath and shut her eyes. When she opened them up they were looking into the pleading eyes of her daughter.

"Please go home Lorelai, I can't do this right now," she said and Lorelai shook her head as she watched her mom walked to the door and hold it open for her to leave, her head bent down in shame and humiliation.

"Mommy don't do this. We need to talk about this. We need to get through this."

Laura kept her head down and said nothing and very quietly Lorelai walked out the door and into her car.

That night Lorelai couldn't stop thinking about her mother, barely touching her food. Finally Luke took her in his arms on the couch and she laid her head on his shoulder as she brushed a few tears out of her eyes.

"I'm a bad daughter," she said. "I always have been."

"She's just upset Hon, she'll come around," Luke whispered putting his hand on the back of her head.

Lorelai shook her head, "You know she asked me once…on Thanksgiving, right after I found out Rory had applied to Yale, she asked me if I hated them, hated her so much that I couldn't let Rory have a piece of their lives. And I didn't tell her no. I just stood there and she stood there looking hurt and then she walked away."

"Lorelai…"

She looked up at him, "I never hated her. I really never did."

"I know that Lorelai. Deep down so does she."

"Oh you should have seen her Luke, she was so hurt, so devastated. I did that. I did that to her, and I didn't care. I didn't care if she did read it. I sat there and told Rory I didn't care."

"You tried to stop the article coming out,"

"But she was right, I said those things. I said them. I was mean and hateful towards my own mother."

"Lorelai, you are not the same person who gave that interview. You changed. She's not the same person you gave this interview about. She's changed too. You can't go back."

"I hurt her so much,"

"She'll come around, she'll work things out with your dad tonight and she'll be okay."

Lorelai sighed and snuggled further into his embrace. "I hope you're right,"

They sat together in silence for awhile and Lorelai began to droop off to sleep when suddenly the sound of the doorbell startled them.

"It's almost 11:30, who could that be?" Lorelai asked.

"Maybe it's your mom," Luke said.

"My mother has never been out passed 11:00 in her life," Lorelai said smiling as she went to the door. She opened it up and was surprised to see her father standing at her doorstep. Even more surprising was the look on his face, confusion, desperation, shock…she hadn't seen him this way since…

_Oh Dear God_

"Dad…" she said, "What is it? Where's Mom?"

He stepped inside, looking dazed and confused, "Um…I got home and she wasn't there…I looked all over the house…She…she wasn't there. I went upstairs and some of her things were gone….they were gone Lorelai…I um…went outside and her car was still there…her car was still there but her things were gone…the maid, she said she had seen her get into a taxi with her things…she was going to call me but got scared. She had her things with her Lorelai…she had her things…I called the cab company and they said they did have a pickup by the name of Laura Baker. She had her things…"

"Dad, did they say where they took her?" Lorelai asked.

Richard stared at her for a moment and he looked very small, "To the airport," he said in a hollow voice. "She's left me. She's gone back to Bentley."


	34. Lost and Found

Disclaimer: This is an original story based upon the characters of Gilmore Girls. No profit will be made from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Note: Thanks for all your reviews on the last chapter. That was a chapter I have had in my head for awhile and it was fun to let it out and play. As always, I really appreciate your feedback and I hope you enjoy this next chapter.

The scotch was stale. He only took a sip of it, and then held it in his hand. He watched it now, his eyes focusing on the amber liquid. The ice was rattling in his hand, and he wasn't sure if it was himself that was shaking or the plane. He had always found comfort in scotch, he had found comfort in it the first time his wife had left him—that first long night in their bed alone. That time had come to him as much of a shock as this one did. He really hadn't seen it coming and had swore to himself the night they had reconciled and he held her in his arms that he would never again be oblivious to his wife's feelings. He clenched his fist tighter, and the knuckles looked they were about to burst. He was stupid. He hadn't seen this coming either, just like the first time.

_There was a soft knock at the door. _

"_Come in Emily," he said gruffly, still focusing on his papers. He didn't want to go over this again. He was doing what he had to do. He didn't like it either, Jason had been like a son to him these past five months. If he hadn't had the lawsuit thrown in his face the same night, he might have enjoyed the thought of Jason and Lorelai together. He had always wanted a son…well, no need to think about that now. _

"_Emily, for Heaven's sake I haven't got all day," he said, and the door opened. There she was, she had her coat on, her garment bag and another suitcase. _

"_I'm leaving Richard. I'll be staying the night at a hotel. I don't know which one yet, but I'll let you know." _

_He hadn't even looked up at her, thinking she was just being dramatic Emily. What was it with the women in this family? _

"_Did you hear me Richard?" she said, not quite being able to mask the hurt with anger. "I'm leaving," her voice caught in her throat and Richard looked up from his papers. _

"_You're serious aren't you," he whispered. _

_She nodded. _

"_Emily, what is this? Is it the lawsuit? I told you everything was going to be fine." _

"_No, of course not." _

"_Then what?" _

_She stared at him for a long time, and he saw one single tear escape her eyes. Finally, she shook her head and whispered, "I don't know who you are anymore." _

_He stepped across the room put his hands on his shoulders, "Emily, I've been busy, I've been doing all this for you." _

"_No, Richard, you haven't been doing this for me. You've been doing it for you. You've been doing it to show Floyd, well, you've made your choice Richard. You need to prove yourself to Floyd more than you need me." _

"_Emily, that's not true," he said gently and moved to kiss her but she backed away. _

_Suddenly anger flashed in him, "So you are going to through it all away, almost forty years, because I wasn't paying attention?" _

"_You don't get it do you Richard. You haven't been paying attention to me since you started this business. Do you really think I would leave because of that? Because of Floyd's stupid lawsuit?" _

"_Then what is it?" _

_She stared at him again, as if she was looking at a stranger. "I won't go through that again Richard. I won't give up my daughter again." _

_She turned and walked away from him. He caught her by the shoulders and turned her around. "So all of this is about Lorelai and her boyfriend?" he yelled. _

"_I won't go through that again Richard," she said quietly and picked up her bags. He followed her out the door and as she got into her car he knelt down by her window. _

"_Emmy…Emmy please don't do this," _

_She turned to him, "I don't think we should tell the girls. I'll be back Friday night in time for dinner." _

"_Okay," he whispered. _

"_Goodbye Richard," she said and started down the driveway. _

_He stood there watching…waiting for her to come back. _

_He waited for four hours. _

_She didn't come _

"Sir?" the flight attendant's voice was nasal and annoying. "Sir, please fasten your seatbelt, we have started our descent into LAX."

He looked up and handed her the glass of stale scotch, "Of course," he replied and fashioned his seatbelt. He looked out the window and watched as they descended through the clouds and the giant expanse of Los Angeles spread before him. He remembered when he had looked at that giant city before, a desperate man, thinking that his granddaughter was lost—a tiny speck in that monster of a city. He had followed her there because the poor grief stricken girl had seen a woman that looked like her grandmother in the airport and out of guilt from the past and grieving; she had thought it was really her. And so Richard had come after her, expecting to find her and bring her back home safely, helping her to realize that her grandmother really was dead.

But Rory hadn't been seeing things.

His Emmy hadn't died.

He had found her. He had brought her home.

And she had left him…again.

He leaned back as the plane touched down, and slowly walked off the plane. He rented a car and started the drive to Bentley, glad he had twenty minutes before he got there to think of what groveling he was going to do.

"Emily, I was wrong, and I'm sorry," he said, putting the emphasis on the wrong and the sorry this time, as he went past the "Welcome to Bentley" sign. The sun was just beginning to set, and was casting magical shadows over the quiet town. He was surprised to realize how much he missed it. Then he realized that it wasn't so much the town he missed as the memories, the way things were here. Here he was just a man head over heels in love with a woman. There were no responsibilities, no acts to put on for the benefit of others. Here there were quiet dinners Emily had made herself. There were walks in the moonlight, holding each other's hand. Here he could be the happiest man in the world simply watching his wife play the piano, her gentle fingers caressing the keys, the way her eyes closed in reverence when she played an especially beautiful passage, the way the piece of hair fell in her face and she would brush it back behind her ears. He had missed the simplicity of life.

He turned down her street and suddenly was as nervous as he felt on their first date. "Emily, please come back to Hartford," he practiced again, "Things will be different, I promise." He pulled up along side of the house and it was completely empty and dark inside. He got out of the car and walked towards the house. He looked in the windows and it was obvious no one had been inside for a month. He could see a big silvery cobweb through the window, and as Emily or Laura, his wife would have never been in a house for five minutes without cleaning up a cobweb. Where could she have gone?

_Josie's…of course!_

He hurried over to the car and drove the few extra blocks to Josie Petty's house. One of Josie's children, the older one…Ellen or Elizabeth…was sitting on the front porch painting her toenails when Richard drove up.

"Hello, is your mother home?" he asked as he approached the girl.

"Hey Ma!" the girl shouted without looking up.

The door opened and Josie appeared, "You shouted?" she answered the girl's call.

She flicked a hand in Richard's general direction. Josie looked up and smiled. "Richard! My goodness this is a surprise! Where's Laura?" she hurried over to the car. "Laura Baker you get out here right now!" she shouted.

Richard reached up and undid his top collar button. Now… he was worried.

"Where's Laura?" Josie asked as she turned back to Richard. "Don't tell me she come with you?"

Richard sighed, "She's not here?" he asked.

Josie's eyes widened, "Here? No…she's not. Why would she be here?" She reached out and placed a hand on Richard's arm. "Richard…is she alright?"

Richard swallowed hard, "She left me yesterday. Just packed her things and left. The only thing I know is that a taxi took her to the airport. I assumed she was coming back here. She's not at her house. Where else would she go?"

"Richard…are you sure? I mean, I know what it looks like but are you sure? That woman is so in love with you."

Hearing her say that only made him feel worse. He ran a hand over his head. Where did Emily go? Had she truly left him this time where he would never be able to find her? His heart started beating faster…had she been planning to come back to Bentley…but had never made it? Was she hurt?

"Is there anyone else she would have stayed with…anywhere else she would go?"

She thought about it for a moment and then her eyes went wide with realization. She was afraid to look at Richard but then saw that he had the same realization in his eyes as well. "Richard…I just don't know. I just think she would come to me first. You don't really think she would…" Josie stammered, trying to convince him. But Richard was already on the way to the car. "Call me when you find her!" Josie called as Richard got in the car and down the street towards the man who had done this to his family—the man his wife had returned to. Now…he was furious.

He barely put the car in park before bounding out and hurrying up the gray cement steps. He pounded on the door and after a few minutes the old man opened the door.

"What on earth?" he said, seeing a man on his doorstep he never expected to see again…why was he here? Suddenly his heart stopped…_Laura_

"Where is she?" Richard said in a low voice.

"What are you talking about?" John asked. "Is Laura alright?"

He moved past him into the house, "Emily! Emily! I want to talk to you!"

John was an old man, but he had worked hard all of his life and was not a feeble man by any means. He grabbed Richard's arm, "She's not here! I haven't seen her! Not since the night of the garden ball!"

"Emily!" Richard called again.

"She's not here!" John yelled again.

Finally Richard stopped and turned to John, breathing heavily, "You swear, she's not here?"

John relinquished his grip on Richard, "Look, I don't like you, I never have, but I give you my word I haven't seen Laura since the night of the garden party. Now…what happened?"

An hour later the sky was just about dark. Josie Petty watched as John, then Richard drove up behind each other. She handed each a glass of water as they got out of the car.

"Anything?" Richard asked anxiously as John walked towards him.

He shook his head. "I talked to everyone in town, no one has seen her."

"What about you?" Josie asked, turning to Richard and her anxiousness grew as she saw the look in his eyes.

"I talked to the car rental place at the airport. She did rent a car there. She did come to Los Angeles"

"My God then where is she?" John asked.

"I don't know," Richard said shaking his head.

"Do you think we should call the police?" Josie asked.

Richard didn't answer…he was staring at Josie's youngest child. She had come out of the house, the remains of a grape Popsicle on her lips. She tottered over to her mother and reached out a sticky hand. "Mommy, are you tummin soon?" she asked.

"Yes Sweetie, I'll be there in a minute," she said and then looked up at Richard. Richard's eyes were riveted on her little girl, but as she followed his line of vision she realized he was not staring at Brittany, but what Brittany was holding in her hands, her kite… her red kite.

"Richard what is it?" Josie asked.

Richard didn't answer, just ran to his rental car and drove away.

_Please…please…please_

He prayed…pleaded as he turned up the winding road to Juniper Lake. Their perfect day…he should have thought of it sooner. The lake was only a fifteen minute drive away and as he pulled into the parking lot he hurried out and scanned around for his wife. The only sounds he heard were the gentle humming of the crickets and the wind stirring the water on the lake. He continued to look around him and suddenly her the small sound of pebbles being thrown on the water.

_Plink…plink…plink_

_Please…please…please_

He followed the sound and as he got closer to the water's edge he saw her and he went dizzy with relief. She was in her blue jeans and a blouse. Her knees were drawn into her chest and she was picking up pebbles and throwing them into the water.

"Emmy," he whispered gently.

Laura's heart started beating wildly. She turned slightly towards him, opening her mouth to say something but nothing came out.

"You scared the hell out of me," he whispered. "When I couldn't find you in Bentley…"

She turned back around and began throwing pebbles back into the lake.

He stepped towards her, lightly brushing the hair from her cheek and caressing it, needing to touch her, needing to make sure she was there. He sat down beside her, bringing his knees towards his chest as well.

"Don't you think I deserved a note?" he asked.

"Don't you think I deserved the truth?" she replied.

"Emily…" he started and she brought her knees in closer and rested her chin on the top of them.

"Emily, look at me," he persisted gently.

She stared straight ahead for a minute and then turned slowly towards him.

"What do you think the truth is?"

She cursed herself as a tear fell out of her eyes. She didn't want to cry. "Why didn't you tell me about the separation?" she asked.

He rubbed his hands together, "I guess I wanted to protect you."

"Richard, I would have preferred the truth,"

"Emily again, what do you think the truth is?"

"I don't like who I was Richard. I don't like the person Lorelai wrote about. I don't want to be that person,"

"And who do you think that is?"

"Someone mean, hateful who fires maids because their eyes are too close together, who acts like a cobra at an auction, who treats good men like dirt, who pushes away everyone she loves. How in the world did you tolerate me?"

She turned back towards the lake and he reached over and put a finger under her chin. He turned her head towards him, "Emily, I never tolerated you. I love you. I love everything about you, your passion for all the things and people you love, your determination, your strength and your courage. I loved all that in you."

"But you left me,"

"No…no I didn't Emily, you left me."

She turned to him, she wasn't expecting that.

He reached over and took her hand in his. "Emily, the mistake we made this past month is we've been expecting everything to go back the way it was. I was expecting you to go back and be my wife again and I think you felt that and tried to be someone you weren't anymore. You can't go back to who you were and neither can I. This experience didn't just change you Emily, it changed me too. I can't be the kind of man who ignores his wife and is oblivious to her feelings. I can't be the kind of man who puts work ahead of his family. You said you don't like the way you were before? Well, neither do I. I don't like who I was either. I want to change. I want to be a different man." He reached up and brushed a tear away from her eyes. "I can't do that without you Emmy. I can't live without you."

"Richard," she breathed.

He tenderly placed his hands on the sides of her face and she felt her whole body shiver.

"Laura," he whispered after a minute, "What do you want? Tell me what you want."

Her face crumpled, "Oh Richard," she sobbed.

"What? What do you want? Do you want to come back here? If so, we'll fly back to Hartford, pack and leave. I want you to be happy."

She reached up and caressed his cheek. "I want it to be like it was before. I want to cook you dinner and dance with you in my bare feet in the kitchen. I want an apron hanging in the kitchen with M&M's in the pockets. I want to be friends with whoever I choose and not be friends with whoever I choose. Richard…I hate being in the DAR."

"Okay, that's fine. Whatever you want. If you still want to teach piano, we'll work it out."

"Do you really mean that?"

"My life on it,"

She turned back around towards the lake. "Richard when I left yesterday all I wanted was to come home. I got to the house and realized I don't belong there anymore," she turned to him. "I don't belong anywhere without you."

He put his hand on her cheek again, lightly caressing it and she leaned in to it. He slowly brought her to him and tenderly kissed her. She reached up and put her hand on the other side of his cheek. She loved this man with all of her heart. She couldn't leave him, never in eternity could she leave him. He was her heart, her soul.

They broke the kiss and Richard rested his head against hers, "I love you."

She sighed in a futile attempt to keep the tears away. "I love you," she whispered back.

They sat like that for awhile, then Richard whispered, "I have something for you."

Still holding her in his arms, he reached down in his pocket.

"When I thought you were missing tonight, I went over to John's. I went there because I thought you had gone back to him. I was insane, I wanted to pulverize him. And when I saw that you weren't there I realized something. He's not a monster. He's a lonely old man. We talked, and…well, he showed me something."

"What?" Laura asked.

"He was scared. He was scared of loosing you. All he saw that night was Marjorie and when you made it through the night, he started to pretend you were Marjorie and he got so deep into that illusion that loosing you would be like loosing her again. He's had it. He's had it all this time."

"What?" she asked again.

Richard drew his hand out of his pocket and inside it was a gold ring with a cluster of tiny diamonds.

"Richard…" she breathed. "Oh…Richard."

He took her slender hand in his, "I Richard," he whispered, "Take thee Laura, to be my lawful wedded wife, for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish to death do us part."

She was openly crying now as he slipped the ring on her finger. "I Laura," she whispered, "Take thee Richard, to be my lawful wedded husband, for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish to death do us part."

He leaned forward and kissed her, "I love you Laura,"

"I love you Richard."

He stood up and extended his hand.

"Come home"


	35. Laura meets Emily

Disclaimer: This is an original story based upon the characters of Gilmore Girls. No profit will be made from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Note: Sorry to be so long in updating. I have been swamped! Thank you for all the reviews on the last chapter. I really appreciated all of them. You are all wonderful. Hope you enjoy this next installment.

In just the few days she had been gone she had forgotten how warm he was and how nice it felt just to be in his arms. She snuggled up to him as they drove back to Bentley and he put one arm around her. It took them twenty minutes to get back to Josie's house. They pulled up and Richard went around and opened her door for her and then took her hand as they walked up to Josie's door. They were on the porch when the door flung open.

"Are you okay?" Josie breathed as she opened the door.

Laura nodded, "Yes, I'm fine," and put her arms around her old friend.

"I'm glad," Josie whispered and when they separated the hug, she motioned for Laura to sit down on the couch. Laura sat down and Josie picked up one of the couch pillows and started smacking her with it.

"Why didn't you call me?" she shouted, "You leave this man, you come here, you say nothing, you don't even call me, you scare this man half to death, and what about me I'm just your best friend!"

Laura laughed and held up her hands against the barrage. "I'm sorry!"

Josie stopped and looked at Richard, "You, you better appreciate the wife you have Buster."

And then she turned to Laura, "And you, don't ever do that again."

Laura stood up and hugged her friend again, "I won't" she whispered.

Josie separated from Laura and looked at her friend seriously, "John's in the backyard, he's pretty shook up."

Laura squeezed her friend's arm and then looked back at Richard. He nodded and she smiled. "I'll be back in a few minutes."

She opened the screen door and saw him, sitting on the edge of the porch, his head in his hands

"John," she said quietly.

He turned to face her, relief washing over him, "You okay?" he asked.

She nodded and sat down next to him. She put her left hand up and the light from the porch caught the diamond and it sparkled.

"It suits you," John said.

"John, why now, why after all this time…I mean, you knew, you knew I was married this whole time and you lied. Why now?"

He reached out a hand and placed it on her cheek, "I'm sorry."

There was something in his eyes that made her believe he really was serious. In all this time, he had always defended his actions, telling her that he had saved her life, but this time she could see that he really was sorry.

"I never should have brought you here Laura, I never should have believed you were mine to keep."

He turned back around and stared out into the dark night. She had never seen him like this before. He looked old, and broken.

"Can you forgive me?" he whispered.

Her mind turned back to those first few months when she had been so afraid, and he had been there guiding her, protecting her, loving her like his own child. She remembered back to Sunday dinners, to the walks they used to take, all of the times when she had been afraid he had talked to her, told her that things were going to be okay.

But she had never needed to be afraid…

if it had been for what he had done.

"I'm not there yet John," she said quietly.

He sighed heavily, "I understand that."

She reached over and placed her hand on top of his and squeezed it. "It'll take time, but someday."

He turned back to face her and smiled, "I'm glad you're okay Honey," he said.

She smiled and stood up, reaching down her hand to help him up.

Richard and Laura stayed the night at Josie's and left early the next morning, the two friends promising to stay in touch more. Laura was glad the flight was long, she was nervous about seeing Lorelai again. She had said such terrible things and had hurt this girl she loved so much. She went over in her mind what she was going to say when they got off the plane.

She was so tied up in her thoughts that when Richard placed a hand over hers it startled her a bit.

"What are you thinking about my love?" he said.

"What I'm going to say to Lorelai when we get off the plane. I was so terrible to her Richard," she answered.

"Lorelai isn't meeting us at the airport," he replied.

"She's not?" Laura asked disappointedly. "Is she that mad at me?"

"No Darling, I called her this morning and asked her not to. We'll see her later. There is something we need to do first."

"What?"

"You'll see."

The plane landed and after they had picked up their luggage, Richard took Laura's hand and led her out to the car he had parked in long term parking.

"Where are we going Richard?" she asked as he opened the car door for her.

"You'll see," he said again.

They drove until they got to a place called the Hartford Musical Conservatory. Richard turned and looked at his confused wife. He reached over and took her hand. "Laura, before the accident happened, I said something to you that I said in anger and worry. Rory was struggling with some things, had dropped out of Yale, and I blamed myself for it. We…no, I went against Lorelai and allowed Rory to move in with us, paving the way for her to give up on her dream. It was the night of Rory's birthday party and I said that all the things that Rory was doing, joining the DAR and planning parties, all the things that were so important in your life were frivolous and meaningless."

He closed his eyes in pain at the memory. "When you…were gone, those words and the look on your face when I said them haunted me. I couldn't sleep. I was devastated by your loss but even more than that I was devastated that I hurt you so deeply."

A single tear slid down his cheek and Laura reached up and wiped it away, resting her hand against his cheek.

He turned his face into her hand and kissed it. "I decided I wanted to see your world, and for months I searched and found evidence of you, of the kind of person you had been, the people you had helped…Laura, you said you didn't like the person you were before…I don't think you know who that person really is. I think it's time you knew."

He got out of the car and walked around to her side, opened the door and took her hand. They walked inside the conservatory and down a large hall with red velour carpet and a high vaulted ceiling entirely made of windows. He led her up a large staircase to two double doors and opened the door. Laura stepped inside and was in awe of the massive concert hall they had stepped into. It was huge! There were three levels of seats a large stage with a shiny floor and four rows of lighting fixtures attached to the ceiling. The seats were all cushioned with the same red velour. It was all so beautiful. Richard took her hand and led her over to a small gold plaque by one of the doors.

"This magnificent room is made possible by funds entirely raised by the Daughters of the American Revolution. Our sincere gratitude and appreciation goes out to the president of the DAR, Mrs. Emily Gilmore and every member of her gracious chapter."

Without saying a word, Richard took her hand and led her back to the car. They drove next to the Hartford Ballet Company and again without saying a word, Richard took her hand and led her inside. They walked down the hall passed the different practice rooms until they got to the front desk where an older woman, in her late forties was with a black leotard and a black tulle skirt with hair back in a tight bun was standing.

"Mr. and Mrs. Gilmore, how nice to see you!" she said in a slight European accent.

Richard took the lead and extended his hand, "Wonderful to see you Ms. Kosan, we wondering if Daniella is in practicing today."

The woman chuckled, "Of course, when is that girl not practicing?" She checked her schedule and then nodded down another hall. "She's in room 10A, straight down the hall."

"Thank you," Richard nodded and turned down the hall, Laura smiled at the woman and followed Richard.

"Four years ago," Richard said when they were out of hearing range, "You sponsored Daniella and raised enough money to bring her and her entire family out of Kosovo and into Hartford. She got a scholarship to go here and you paid for her room and board, paid for her to take English classes, as well as helping her family get settled."

They reached room 10A and opened it up. A tall thin girl in her early twenties was pirouetting around the stage to a rousing Rimsky-Korsakov selection. Laura watched in amazement, the girl was really good! The music ended after a few minutes and she stopped as well. She walked over to the bar leaned against it for a few minutes rest. After a minute she turned, suddenly aware that she had company. Her expression at first was one of mild annoyance at being interrupted but as soon as she saw who her visitors were she smiled and bounded down off the stage.

"Mrs. Gilmore!" she cried in a thick European accent. She ran off the stage and threw her arms around Laura.

"It's so good to see you! Did you see me dance? Did you see me?"

Laura smiled as she put her arms around the girl, "Yes I saw you, you were wonderful!" she said.

The girl broke the hug and kissed Laura on both of her cheeks, "Because of you," she said.

They stayed and watched her for another dance, and the girl kissed her on the cheeks again saying how grateful she was as they left. For another hour and a half, Richard drove Laura around Hartford. They saw the children's pediatric center that she had donated an extensive amount of money to build, the archeological center, a new children's museum, they met a little boy who had had a surgery to repair a leg defect he had been born with that she had paid for. Time and time again, she saw her name on some golden plaque or heard some person say how grateful they were to her.

"I don't get it," Laura said as she climbed into the car after visiting new gym she had helped raise money for in Chilton. "How could I have been so caring to other people, but so vile to my own family?"

"There's one more place I have to show you," he said and started the car.

They drove for awhile until they came to a cemetery. Richard opened her door again and took her hand as they walked up a large hill covered in green grass. There was a large building at the top of the hill and they went inside. Their footsteps echoed through the halls as they went down to the last room. He put his hand on her back as he led her into the room where a large angel statue was standing. He walked quietly over and pointed to the most important gold plaque where were engraven the words, "Emily Gilmore, beloved wife of Richard, mother of Lorelai, grandmother of Rory." She brushed her hand over the family picture that was bolted to the bottom of the statue. Richard sat down on the step and reached behind the statue where he pulled out three pieces of paper. He opened the first one and clearing his throat he began to read.

"_To my Grandma, _

_I love you so much and I always have. I'm so sorry that we fought. It was all my fault. I said once that you and Grandpa were my twin pillars and it's true. When you died I didn't know how I was going to make it without you. But then I remembered something that you told me when I was six. We were at your house for Christmas and I didn't want to leave. I knew it would be a long time before I could see you again. I went and hid in Mom's closet and you came and found me. We sat there in the closet and you told me that I had a nice home and that my mommy would miss me if I was gone. Then you hugged me and you told me that I was a part of you, and you were a part of me, that as long as we knew that we could never really be far away from eachother. Grandma, you are a part of me, and I love you. I will make you proud of me. _

_Your Sweetie forever, _

_Rory_

Laura brushed the tears out of her eyes and Richard cleared his throat again trying to get a handle on his own emotions as he opened the next letter.

"_My Darling, my own Emmy, _

_I never should have promised you that you could go first. Death by any means, would be preferable to what I feel right now. My heart and soul I don't know how I am supposed to finish out life without you. You are the love of my life, I knew that from the first moment I saw you. You have made me the man that I am. You are everything that is good in me. When they first told me that you were gone, I wanted to die with you, I would have to, anyway I could but then I saw our girl, our baby girl and I knew I had to be there for her. I will try to carry on my darling Emmy, and be what our girls need me to be. Wait for me, my love. _

_I love you more than you know, _

_Richard." _

"Oh Richard," she breathed as tears spilled down her cheeks. He looked up and smiled at her through his own tears and then opened the last letter.

"_To my Angel Mommy, _

_The one who made me mashed bananas on toast which I ate even though I hated it because I loved it when you would come in and bring me my toast and play old maid with me for awhile when I was sick—yes I remembered. _

_The one who always came in and picked me up and rocked me in the rocking chair after you had come home from a party and would sing to me for an hour when you thought I was asleep—yes, I was pretending, I was always pretending. _

_The one who waited up for me every night to make sure I was safe—yes, I saw the light under your door. _

_The one who never abandoned me after I became pregnant, who stuck by me, and tried in her own way to help me—yes, I am grateful. _

_The one I left because I was young and stubborn and needed to be out on my own—yes, I'm sorry that I hurt you. _

_The one who came down to the inn sometimes late at night and kissed me and Rory as we were sleeping and then drove all the way back to Hartford in the middle of the night—yes I always knew. _

_The one I have never appreciated enough, the one who I have never told enough that you are the reason I am who I am. _

_To my angel mommy—yes I love you." _

Laura choked out a sob and Richard helped her to her feet and gathered her in his arms.

"And that," he whispered as he held her, "That is who you really are."

They drove home after that in silence, as the revelation sunk into Laura. She was barely inside the door of their house when she whispered, "Richard, I have to go see Lorelai," she said.

"Do you want me to come with you?" he asked.

She shook her head, "No," and then reached up and kissed him, "I need to do this by myself."

As she drove down the highway to Stars Hollow the sun was setting and casting a magical glow in the trees. She broke the speed limit trying to get there, something she had never done before that she could remember. She wanted to get to her girl—she needed to see her girl.

She pulled into the driveway and saw Lorelai watching from the window. Richard must have called and told her she was coming. She walked up the stairs and before she got to the door, it opened and their stood her daughter, her eyes brimming with tears.

"Lorelai…" Laura started and Lorelai threw her arms around her.

"Mommy," she whispered, "I am so sorry,"

Laura broke the hug and cupped her daughter's face in her hands, " No, no sweetheart I'm sorry…you were right, things were different."

Lorelai hugged her mother again, "I love you," she said.

Laura smiled and cupped her hand on the back of her girl's head, "I love you too Sweetheart, I love you too."

They held each other for a few minutes and then they were interrupted by someone clearing their throat. They turned around and saw Luke standing behind them smiling, "Can I interest you ladies in some coffee and a place to talk?" he asked.

Laura looked at her daughter and brushed a hand over her cheek, "Sounds good to me," she said.

Luke smiled and disappeared into the kitchen.

Laura put her arm around her daughter as they followed him.

"Mom," Lorelai asked, stopping her before they got to the kitchen"What made you come back?"

"I couldn't leave the man I love, I could leave Rory, and…" she said, as she reached out and placed a hand on her daughter's cheek again, "I just couldn't leave my baby."

"_Lorelai!" she screamed, "Lorelai where are you?" _

_She was freezing, the water was churning pulling her under…she had to find her, she had to find her baby. "Lorelai!" she screamed again. _

"Mom? Mom what's wrong," Lorelai was pulling her up. She had fallen to the floor, her heart racing.

"Luke! Luke call 911!" Lorelai yelled.

"No…Sweetheart I'm fine," she breathed, and took Lorelai's hand as she helped her up and then helped her to a chair.

"What happened?" she asked with concern, rubbing her back.

Laura was suddenly excited and terrified at the same time. She looked into her daughter's eyes. She searched back in her mind, trying to recover the image she had just seen like searching for a specter in a nightmare after awakening. It was gone, disappearing as quickly as it had come.

"I don't know," she replied. "I don't know."

TBC!


	36. The Suprise

Disclaimer: This is an original story based upon the characters of Gilmore Girls. No profit will be made from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Note: Thanks for all the feedback. One of these days, my life will slow down so I can individually respond to them again. I really do appreciate all of them. I hope you enjoy the next installment.

"Richard…you have to stop looking at me as if I about to explode," Laura said, looking over the rims of her glasses at Richard who was trying to look interested in his book.

"What was that Dear?" he asked, non-chalantly turning the page.

"Richard," she said more determinedly as she put down her book and placed a hand on his arm.

He looked up at her and Laura could see the hope in his eyes.

"Richard," she said, "It's been two weeks…It lasted for a few seconds and then it left."

He placed a hand over hers, "Tell me again, exactly what happened."

She tried to act normal about it, tried to make it out like it wasn't a big deal because she hated to raise any false hope. "I was talking with Lorelai and then all of a sudden I remembered being really cold and terrified, I was calling Lorelai's name. The next thing I knew, Lorelai was helping me up."

Richard's eyebrows knit together with concentration and excitement.

"Richard," Laura said again, "It's been two weeks."

"But you remembered something Darling, maybe it will just take time," he said and it tugged at her heart to see the excitement in his eyes. She had been excited too, but as the weeks had gone on and she had tried to remember something else—anything else, she was left with the same black fog that seemed to have settled on her brain. It had been disappointing, but she had felt she had made her peace with the possibility that she may never remember, so she had been able to get passed it and not get her hopes up. Richard on the other hand was a different story. He had tried to not show how excited he was, but she knew him better than that. She could see the excitement in his eyes when he looked at her, the look of anticipation when he walked in the door after work and wondered if it had all come back to her. She looked up at him now and smiling, placed a hand on his cheek. "Maybe it will just take some time," she reaffirmed and prayed that it would be so. She hated to disappoint him.

They both went back to their books and a few minutes later, Laura turned the page while simultaneously looking up at Richard. He was looking up at her with a goofy smile.

She chuckled and shook her head, "There's something wrong with you…you know that don't you?"

He stood up and then knelt down beside her, gently taking her glasses off and kissed her. She relaxed into the kiss and smiled as they broke it.

"What put you in such a good mood?" she asked grinning.

He took her book in his hands and rested his nose on it, his eyes sparkling with enthusiasm. "A surprise," he said.

She regarded him curiously, "What surprise?" she asked.

"A surprise for you, which you will find out about tomorrow at precisely four o'clock."

"Tomorrow? At four?" she asked, trying to swallow the excitement in her voice.

Richard nodded like puppy dog, "Yes," he grinned.

She picked up her book and tried hard not to smile as she turned the page. "Alright," she said, "If I'm home at that time."

Less than twenty-four hours later, at precisely 3:57 in the afternoon, Laura sat stationed at the living room window her fingers parting the white lace curtains ever so slightly so she could see Richard coming up the doorway. She had been trying to keep busy all day, but the promise of the four o'clock surprise made her feel like a child who couldn't sleep at 2:00 in the morning on Christmas eve, watching every minute go slowly by. Finally, she saw his sleek dark blue car drive into the driveway and she dropped her post and hurried over to the couch where she picked up a book and waited for Richard to come in.

"Laura, I'm home," Richard called excitedly as he came through the door and put down his suitcase.

"In here Dear," Laura called from the living room.

Richard hurried down the hall and into the living room, Laura smiled at the sound of the excitement in his steps. She looked up and smiled, "My goodness, is it four o'clock already?" she asked.

Richard leaned over and kissed the top of her head. "Are you ready for your surprise?" he asked.

Wanting to tease him more, she turned the page, "Let me just finish this chapter Dear," she said without looking up.

Richard grinned, two could play at this game.

"Alright," he said walking over to the drink cart and making himself a scotch. "I'll just sit here and have a drink and read my paper," he said, sitting down on the couch opposite her and opening the paper. This lasted for about forty five seconds when a couch pillow suddenly hit the paper. He put down the paper folded and looked at his wife, "Yes dear?" he asked.

"Richard Gilmore, you said 4:00 and it's now 4:02!" Laura cried.

Richard chuckled, "You are worse than Lorelai,"

"Richard!" she cried again.

"Alright," he said, drawing out a scroll of paper tied up with a lavender ribbon and handed it to her.

"What is it?" she asked.

"Open it," Richard said.

She opened it up and written in Richard's handwriting, the note said, "Your lovely face lays here when you sleep."

She chuckled, "Richard, you are crazy," and then went upstairs to check underneath her pillow where she found another note wrapped in lavender ribbon. For twenty minutes she went through the house finding note after note in the kitchen cabinets, the refrigerator, the bathroom medicine cabinet, her dresser drawer. Sometimes she found a chocolate with the note, a small bottle of lotion, a package of bath salts, and some elegant slipper socks with ribbon rosebuds on the heels. When had he done all of this? Finally, she was told to look in Great-Grandmother Kentley's large antique sewing box in the sitting room. She opened it up and pulled out a large lavender silk scarf and another note that read, "Put this over your eyes and wait for further instructions."

She laughed and put it over her eyes, shaking her head at this crazy but wonderful man she was married to. "Okay," she called out, "I'm waiting for further instructions!"

A moment later a strong warm hand slipped into hers and Richard whispered, "Come with me."

"Richard, where are we going?" she asked.

He didn't answer, just put a hand on her back and led her to the car, where he opened up the door for her and helped her in and then got in on his side and drove away.

He didn't say a word on the drive, except the occasional admonition to not peek. She was very confused, they had been driving for awhile and she assumed they were on their way to Stars Hollow but for what? Was Lorelai having some sort of get together? She was getting so excited wondering what it could be that the time passed by quickly and before she knew it, the car stopped and Richard got out of the car. She heard the car door open and felt Richard's gentle, strong hands supporting her as he helped her out of the car.

"Richard, can I take this silly thing off now?" she asked.

"Almost," he said leading her by the hand.

"Okay now," he said and she undid her blindfold, squinting as the bright light from the sun shone down feeling like pins and needles. She was looking towards Richard who was smiling broadly at her, with his two hands behind his back.

"Which hand?" he asked playfully.

She smiled and pointed at his left hand. He brought out a small gold box from behind his back, tied with a lavender ribbon.

"What is it?" she asked.

"Open it and find out," he said.

She opened it up and inside was a house key. She looked up at Richard in confusion and he smiled and placing his hands on her shoulders he turned her around towards a small one floor house sitting in the middle of a fair sized green lawn. It was a white house, with yellow trim, a nice big front porch and a white picket fence surrounding it. There were pink and white geraniums surrounding the front and although it was dormant, Laura could see a large lilac bush in the backyard. There was a quaking aspen tree in the front, as well as more geraniums lining the yard beside the picket fence—but the thing that Laura was focused on was the name that was brightly displayed in gold letters on the front door—Gilmore.

"Richard," she breathed. "What is this?"

He came up to her, put his arms around her from the behind and nestling his face in her hair, "Welcome to our weekend home," he said.

"Our what?" she asked incredulously.

Suddenly he reached down and picked her up in his arms. They both laughed delightedly as he carried her to the door, unlocked it and then walked inside. There was a charming little living room, with dark green carpet and the same colored wallpaper with a rosebud border. There were two large comfortable couches that matched the color scheme. There was also a large fireplace with a mantle and pretty end table where a nice porcelain lamp with a frilly dark pink lampshade stood.

She was so taken with the room that she hardly noticed when Richard tugged on her arm, too excited to stand still and led her down a hallway. There were two rooms, one with a large brass bed and another fireplace in it, and the other one—a smaller one with a burgundy colored wallpaper and antique lace curtains hanging in it. There was a smaller bed in the center, with a matching dresser and night stand. Laura's eyes began to glow with excitement as Richard took her back down the hall and led her into the kitchen.

She took in a sharp breath as she walked into the kitchen/dining room area where a white table and chairs stood on a light blue linoleum floor, with a crisp white table cloth on top and a vase of flowers. The dining room was separated by a bar area from the kitchen which was wallpapered in a light blue and white pinstriped. The cupboards were white too, and were glass and inside were neatly a pile on creamy colored plates with matching bowls and mugs and tall sparkling glasses. There was a large refrigerator, and a large pantry door just before going out the back door and hanging by the entrance to the door was a blue and white striped apron.

"Richard," she breathed. He smiled, the delight on his wife's face making him giddy.

"One last thing to see," he said and taking her hand, led her down another hall off the kitchen. He went past a room where Laura saw bookshelves all over the wall and a handsome oak desk.

"The den," he said smiling and then led her to the last room at the end of the hall. He opened the door with a flourish and this time the surprised woman couldn't help crying out because there, sitting against a back wall was her piano.

"Richard," she cried, tears springing to her eyes as she turned back around and hugged the delighted man to her, " Oh Richard!" she cried again and walked towards it. It seemed as shining and new as the day the men had brought it to the house in Bentley. She opened it up and smoothed her hands over the keys, giving a little laugh where Jordan Bateman had carved his initials on the side of the piano when she had been out of the room on a phone call, where Allison Hanley had spilled grape juice on it at the Christmas party she had held for her students.

She hardly noticed Richard coming up behind her and wrapping his arms around her.

"How did you ever…?" she asked.

He turned her around and kissed her on her nose. "You can do a lot of things," he said and kissed her on her cheek, "…when you have a lot of money," he kissed her on the other cheek, "…and you're in love."

She buried her head in his chest and he hugged her tightly to him. "This is our house," he whispered. "Every Friday afternoon we will come here. There are no maids, no cooks, you can cook Friday night dinner for the family and clean to your hearts content. Saturday will be yours. I'm sure the people of Stars Hollow need a good piano teacher and you are the best. I'll help you make out the posters with the little number tags that people can pull off tomorrow."

She laughed at that through her tears as she looked over at her piano.

"Sunday will be our day. No meetings, business or DAR, we can go on picnics as a family or dance together in our bare feet."

He brought his hands up and cupped her face in them. "Are you happy my love?" he asked.

She answered him by hugging him tightly again and whispering, "I love you Richard,"

Delighted, he hugged her to him tightly and then breaking the hug, said "Well, you better get going Mrs. Gilmore. Your family is going to be here at seven and they are going to be expecting dinner."

She smiled excitedly and hurried back down the hall to the kitchen. Richard retreated to his office to organize some things and Laura after getting acquainted with her new surroundings took down the apron from the hook and tied it on. The pockets were heavy with something and laughing delightedly, she reached in and took an M&M out and popped it in her mouth.

Luke and Lorelai were the first to arrive at the house at six forty five and Richard invited them in and poured them a drink. Lorelai had known about the surprise all along and had helped her Dad pick out furniture and things. She had been excited, when once the thought of her parents moving to Stars Hollow would have terrified her, she loved the idea of a weekend home, especially if it would make her mother happy to get out of the big unfamiliar house. It was so strange to her still to have her mother so different. She had never wanted the rich pompous lifestyle her parents had led, her mother's life was something she didn't understand and vice versa. Her mother had never understood her desires for simplicity, for working hard for something and just being the everyday person with a mortage, a car payment, and a couch you had to pay off after six months. It was so strange to her to see that her mother, with her memory gone was very much like herself.

Rory and Logan arrived next and both were ushered in with a drink. They all sat in the living room, tempting smells coming in from the kitchen.

"I'm almost done," Laura called.

"We're starving Mom!" Lorelai called, "It smells so good!"

"Just a minute," Laura called again and then removing the apron and smoothing out her hair in the hall she walked towards the living room. She was excited and nervous at the same time. She had had so much fun over the last few hours. The refrigerator and pantry were already stocked, and as much as she would have enjoyed going shopping for her own food, she was glad she didn't have to take the time to do it and could spend more time on the dinner. Rachel must have known about the secret and had helped Richard shop. She loved him, but the man would be clueless around a grocery store.

"Hello! Hello! Hello!" she called as she came into the living room.

"Hey Grandma,"

"Hey Mom,"

"Dinner is served," she said, and led them around to dining area.

The four hungry people might as well been led by the Fruit Loops Toucan as they followed their noses into the dining area where the table was elegantly set for six. By each plate was a bowl of Caesar salad and on top of the plate was a large pot pie. The glasses were all filled with sparkling red wine; there was a plate of steaming hot rolls, as well as a small container with red raspberry jam. There was a plate of baked potatoes and in the center was a large two layer chocolate cake with chocolate ganache.

All five stared at the meal laid out before them in astonishment but their hunger over took them and they all sat down, eating the butter crusted pot pies with creamy filling and tender vegetables and turkey bits, the rolls were light and fluffy, the Caesar salad dressing tangy and fresh. Laura watched happily as her family enjoyed her dinner. Richard saw the look in her eyes and was delighted his girl was happy, and watched her as she laughed, wondering if more memories really would return. Lorelai saw the happiness in her mother's eyes swallowed a drink of wine, happy that her mother was happy but was concerned. She had been worried about her mother ever since that night two weeks ago. If the memories did return, how would she handle them? Rory saw the look in her mother's eyes and sent her a little wink telling her that she understood her concern and shared it, then took a drink as she watched her grandmother. Her mom had told her of the struggle she had felt about whether or not she really wanted Grandma to get her memory back and she felt the same thing. Of course she wanted Grandma to be happy, but if the memories came back would this woman go away? Luke saw Lorelai's concerned look as well and squeezed her hand under the table. He liked this new Emily too, and wondered what would happen if Emily got her memories back. Would things go back to what they were between them? Logan was oblivious to the concerns of the room, as he was deep into his second piece of chocolate cake. He cared about Emily and wanted everybody to be happy, but as long as Emily could make chocolate cake that tasted like this—he would be just fine whether or not she got her memory back.


	37. The Partner

Disclaimer: This is an original story based upon the characters from Gilmore Girls. No profit will be made from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Note: Thank you all for the reviews. I appreciate them. I hope you enjoy the next installment.

"Curve your fingers…yes that's it, and I want to hear 'The Birthday Party,' ten times in a row, five times saying the notes out loud and five times counting," Laura said to her noon pupil as the doorbell rang. She was about halfway to the door when the telephone rang.

"Hello? Yes, Patty how are you?" she said as she answered the door and smiled as her daughter stepped in.

"Are we all set for next Sunday?" she continued talking to Miss Patty as she put a hand on Lorelai's back and led her into the kitchen. She pointed to some chocolate chip cookies that were cooling on racks on the bar.

"Yes, seven o'clock, on the dot, about thirteen students yes, and we would love to have the Patty's Princesses do a number in there, yes," she continued talking as she poured Lorelai a glass of milk and handed it to her.

"Yes, Richard will be there, yes I agree he is a very tall man," she said looking at Lorelai in amusement and shaking her head. "Thank you Patty. I really appreciate you letting us rent your studio. Bye." She clicked off the phone and sat down beside her daughter who was working on her second cookie.

"Hey mom," Lorelai said, "Just was off for lunch for a few hours, thought I would stop by."

"I'm glad you did," Laura said smiling and then turned her head towards the living room. "I don't hear any music going on in there. Ten times in a row, five times saying the notes out loud and five times counting."

"I don't want to!" came the whining reply. "I hate this song."

"Excuse me a moment Dear," Laura said and then walked back into the living room to face her reluctant pupil. "Kirk, what did we talk about, if you don't do what I ask, you don't get to pick a sticker out of the sticker basket when you leave and what will Lulu say when you don't bring her her sticker? You know she wanted one of the kitten ones this week."

"Yes Mam," Kirk sighed and began playing "The Birthday Party," singing out slightly off key, "C, B, A, C, B, A," along with the notes he played on the piano. Laura shook her head and walked back into the kitchen where Lorelai was.

"These people frighten me," she said chuckling as she sat down again at the table.

Lorelai laughed putting her hand on her chest as a bigger piece of cookie broke off. "You and me both," she agreed.

Laura smiled and got herself a glass of milk, sat down again and breaking a fresh warm cookie in half, dunked it in the milk.

"You really should market these Mom. You make Mrs. Fields look like the high school lunchroom lady."

Laura smiled at the compliment, "So, what are your plans for the week?" she asked.

"Work " Lorelai said, dunking another cookie in the milk. "The inn is booked this whole week with a Star Trek convention crowd."

"They still have those?" Laura asked.

"Oh yes, the people dressed up like Spock, telling you to live long and prosper at the end of every sentence, Ferengi's, Klingons, Borgs,"

"Oh my," Laura chimed in.

"You said it," Lorelai replied. "There was another one in Hartford about four years ago. One tried to teach me Klingon…he knew the entire language Mother, they actually created the entire language and he knew it. I am anticipating some real freaks."

"Mrs. Gilmore, I finished my song, can I have my sticker now?" came the loud voice from the living room.

"You still have to pass off your D, and B flat scales first Kirk, I'll be right there to here them."

"But I don't want to play my scales."

"No scales, no sticker Kirk!"

"Oh okay," Kirk whined.

"Well, they should fit right in," Laura said as she took the two glasses and put them in the sink.

Lorelai had to get back to work, and Laura had three more students that afternoon. When the last one had left, choosing her sticker out of the sticker basket, Laura's new reward system for practicing and staying on task, Laura sat down on the couch and putting her hands in her jean pockets stretched out for a few minutes. Richard had been gone all day; he had to work in the morning and had been playing golf at the club in the afternoon. She was glad to have a few moments alone. She was loving teaching piano again but after thirteen students one right after the other, it made for a very long day. It had been a month now since Richard had surprised her with their weekend home. It was almost October now and the leaves outside the little house were turning a brilliant array of reds and yellows and scattering on the lawn. She looked outside through the window and saw that the lawn would need to be raked again. She chuckled to herself as she thought that most people had weekend getaways that were meant for vacationing and doing nothing. Hers was anything but.

They left on Fridays after Richard got off of work at four, stopping at the grocery store for supplies before they left. Then, as soon as they got to the house, Laura would change into jeans and give the house a cleaning, and then start into making Friday night dinner. The family arrived at seven, stayed an hour or two and then Richard would help her with the dishes and they would read for an hour or two and then go to bed. Saturday mornings she was up by six, making Richard breakfast and cleaning more before her first piano lesson at nine o'clock. She had thirteen piano students one right after the other, aging from five years old to…Kirk. She was beginning to be very fond of them, her first piano recital was a week from Sunday. She couldn't wait. Saturday evenings were devoted to more work, cleaning, yard work, so she could spend all day Sunday doing things with Richard or with the family. By the time Sunday rolled around, she was exhausted but oh so happy. Her industrious weekends were proving beneficial when she went back to Hartford and lived the life of Emily Gilmore. She worked hard at what she did, and found herself having more confidence and ability in this world that had been second nature to her former self but utterly foreign to her. She went back to the DAR and the symphony board. She paid attention in meetings she had previously daydreamed in and got involved with planning things. She was not embarrassed to volunteer anymore and realized she had been a little silly when she had refrained from helping out before. The two things she knew best were piano and parties and she had assumed that since teaching piano would have been considered an embarrassment that decorating for parties would be the same. She had realized now that she could still do the party planning, she just had to do it according to this world's rules. No, she couldn't wear her jeans and flip flops with a pen in her hair and half a dozen pins in her mouth, but she could take an active part in planning and do her thing in this world.

The sun caught her face as she laid there on the couch and warmed it. She turned and brought her knees up to her chest and closed her eyes. The next thing she knew, Richard was gently kissing her eyelids. She woke up slowly and smiled up at him dreamily.

"Hey," she whispered, scooting over and making room for him on the couch.

"Hey yourself," he replied, sitting next to her. "Did you have a good day?" he asked.

She nodded, "Yes, I did…how about you?"

"It was good," he said. She sat up next to him and realized that his right jacket pocket was bulging…and moving.

"Richard, what is that?" she asked as she woke up further.

"What is what?"

"The thing in your pocket,"

"What thing in my pocket?"

"The big thing that is moving,"

"There is nothing big moving in my pocket. You still must be asleep."

She looked at him doubtfully when a tiny sound escaped from his pocket and a slight smile crossed his face.

"Richard,"

"What?"

"What is that?"

"What is what?"

"I distinctively heard something mew"

"Something mew?

"Yes, there is something in your pocket that is bulging, moving and mewing,"

Richard smiled and said, "Close your eyes and hold out your hand."

Laura closed her eyes and held out her hand and suddenly a warm furry something was placed in her hands and when she opened her eyes she cried out in delight at the small orange stripped kitten that was sitting in her hands, staring up at her with gray green eyes.

"I stopped at the grocery store for the things you asked me for and a young lady was giving away these kittens. This was the last one left. I…thought you might like him."

"It's a him?" Laura asked.

Richard chuckled, "I don't have the greatest track record on deciphering the gender of animals but I am pretty sure this one is a him."

The kitten yawned and showed it's tiny little mouth and then snuggled up in Laura's palm as if it was quite at home and fell asleep.

"Oh Richard, it's adorable."

"Glad you like it my dear," Richard replied. "I called Lorelai on my way home and she said she will take care of him while we are in Hartford and then you can have him all to yourself when you get here for the weekends."

Laura smiled and put the little kitten to her face, kissing it gently and then placed it down on the couch to continue its nap.

She looked up at Richard, "Change your clothes and come help me rake leaves will you?"

Richard started to undo his tie and headed towards their bedroom. "I'll be right there."

"So, when you told Floyd that you thought the Manwells weren't ready for the more extensive homeowner's policy what did he say?" Laura asked as she raked up a stack of leaves to the pile that they had created. Their property had large trees on it and seemed to be endlessly producing leaves.

"He said that I should push it more and that was it. He drives me crazy," he said, angrily stabbing at a stubborn pile of leaves as if it were Floyd Stiles himself. "He treats me like I am some trainee. I know my stuff. I know it better than him!"

"I know you do Richard," Laura said, "What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to do what I've always done, do my work the only way I know how."

"You know what you're doing Richard. You always have. You'll make the right decision," she said.

Richard paused, and standing straight up looked at his wife. There she was, in her jeans and a plaid working shirt, her hair tied back in a ponytail with the one adorable curl falling in her face. He thought of her that night, the night when they had come back from the Dragonfly Inn's opening night when Lorelai had tried to put them together. They had fought rather ridiculously, like Laurel and Hardy almost, with her climbing out the window and loosing her skirt and the police showing up much to their dismay. He had been thinking what an idiot he had married—a crazed woman who cared more about Petal Huffington's police report reading and her stupid pride than anything else. He had been so angry with her, telling her that she was no longer the woman he had married. And then she had looked at him, trying so hard to hide the hurt.

_The woman you married was your partner, you listened to her, you consulted with her, you respected her._

He had never understood really what she meant, what that had meant to him even after they had reconciled until she was gone. He watched her as she worked, so easily, so fluidly, and he realized he loved her more after over forty years than he did the day he married her. She was his partner, in every aspect of their lives and so many times at work if something was troubling him he would tell himself that he just had to wait for a little while until he could talk to Emily about things and every thing would be alright.

"Hey you," Laura said softly, bringing him out of his thoughts. She smiled and blushed and he grinned.

She turned back to her rake and continued raking leaves and he returned to his. He tried to look like he knew what he was doing, but having never done any type of yard work in his life, he found it very awkward. He was bent half way over the rake, with his hands near the bottom and it was beginning to feel very uncomfortable. After a few frustrated grunts, Laura turned towards him and giggled, "Richard, you have to be smarter than the rake," she said.

He turned and shot her a look.

"Would you like some help?" she asked.

"I'm quite capable of raking up some leaves, thank you," he replied.

"Whatever you say," she said, returning to her work. After a few moments she was suddenly hit by a cascading waterfall of leaves. She turned back around and saw Richard standing there grinning.

"I like that way much better," he said.

"So that's the way the boy wants to play," she said, dropping down her rake, gathering a big hand full of leaves and exploding them at him. Suddenly they were being surrounded by leaves as they threw large sweet smelling handfuls of them at each other. They both laughed delightedly as the leaves fell on them like rain.

"Stop, stop," Richard cried laughing, "Laura, these things are all over me."

"Okay," she said, putting her hands on her knees and bending over to catch her breath. "I'll stop if you stop."

"Deal," he said, picking leaves out of his hair. She started to pick leaves out of her hair when suddenly Richard picked her up and was carrying her to the large pile of leaves.

"Richard! Richard stop put me down!" she cried and laughed at the same time. He said nothing just tossed her into the large pile of leaves. He laid down beside her and they laughed so hard their sides hurt. Then they laid there quietly catching their breath and then he leaned over and looked at her. Was there anyway to tell her what was in his heart? Any words at all to describe how much he loved her? He tenderly reached down and brushed a piece of hair out of her face and caressed her cheek with his hand. She was here, she was real—he hadn't lost her. He reached down and kissed her with all of his heart and she put her arms around his neck and kissed him back.

The week went by quickly, three meetings for the upcoming DAR Autumn Ball, the symphony board luncheon, and the Red Cross Fundraiser Banquet. Friday afternoon came quickly and when Laura got home from her DAR meeting on Friday, she hurried upstairs changed out of her burgundy pant suit into her jeans and took off the fancy diamond earrings. She started packing for the weekend as she pushed the answering machine button next to the bed and listened to the messages.

"Girl of my heart," the sweetest voice in the world came on the recorder, "You are most likely off saving the world one luncheon at a time so I must regrettably leave this message instead of talk to you. Darling, I'm afraid I can't get away as early this week. Floyd has me stacked up here. Go ahead and get going, I'll be there in time for dinner. I love you, Richard."

She smiled and went to his closet picking out a few things for him for the weekend. She lay them in the suitcase, and paused to bury her head in one of his sweaters. She loved his scent. The phone rang again and she picked it up.

"Hey Mom, it's me," Lorelai said on the other line.

"Hey Sweetheart," Laura replied.

"Hey Mom, would you do me a favor, there's an old photo album inside my dresser drawer in my room, would you grab it for me before you leave and bring it with you?"

"Sure, I'll grab it right now. I'm leaving in about twenty minutes."

"Okay, thanks Mom."

"See you soon," Laura said and hung up. She hurried down the hall to Lorelai's room, opened the door and stepped inside. She went over to the dresser drawer and pulled it open, the brown album was there and she picked it up.

"_Lorelai! Lorelai where are you?" she was screaming it, crying it, refusing to believe that her baby was gone. "Lorelai!" _

Laura gasped, realizing what was happening.

Focus Laura! Focus!

She shut her eyes and tried with all of her might to bring the memory out more.

Suddenly her chest began to hurt, she doubled over in pain, wanting to scream but couldn't find the air. She couldn't breathe. She fell over onto Lorelai's bed, trying to catch her breath. She got down on the floor and crawled, her chest in excruciating pain out into the hall. She laid there for a moment, still trying to catch her breath when her eyes rested on the picture of her mother.

"_Your mother died two months after Lorelai was born, she had a heart attack as well, you have to have an EKG every year to make sure yours is still healthy." _

"Oh Dear God," she thought.

Suddenly she heard some movement downstairs, it was Jean, she was getting ready to leave for the afternoon.

_Help me…please help me_

She crawled down the hallway, each move causing her pain, gasping for air as she went. She tried to scream but she couldn't do it.

_Just a little further…please…help…me_

She braced herself against the wall next to the back stairs and pounded with all of her might but the only sound she heard was the door closing. Suddenly the pain became more intense, and she doubled over again.

_Please God…don't do this to him…not again_

The house was dark.

"How weird is that?" Lorelai said as she and Luke pulled up in the truck. "It is Friday right?" she asked.

"Yeah, it is…maybe they forgot," Luke responded.

Lorelai snorted sarcastically, "My mother? Forget a Friday night dinner? My mother, whether she remembers her old life or not, would never forget a Friday night dinner."

"Well, let's just wait," he said, "Maybe they're just late."

"My mother?" Lorelai asked smiling. Suddenly her cellphone went off.

"This is Dad," Lorelai said, flipping on the phone, "Hey Dad, where are you guys?"

"Lorelai, I want you to give the phone to Luke," her father's voice was heavy and scared.

"Dad what is it what's wrong?" Lorelai asked.

"Just give the phone to Luke," he said again.

Luke took the phone while Lorelai stared at him with large scared eyes.

"Okay…okay…yes, we'll be right there," he said, hanging up the phone and starting the car.

"What is it?" Lorelai yelled.

"Your mom, she's in the hospital. Your dad found her, they think she might have had a heart attack."

"Oh God!" Lorelai cried, covering her mouth with her hands, "I gotta call Rory."

"Your dad is going to call her, we just need to get there right now."

Before the car completely stopped in the hospital parking lot, Lorelai opened the door and started running. Her father, with fear burning in his eyes met her at the door and she flew into his arms.

He hugged her tightly to him, then cupped his hands around her face as they separated.

'Where is she? I want to see her!" Lorelai demanded.

"She's in surgery," he said, his voice breaking.

"Than it was a heart attack?" Lorelai cried.

"No, it wasn't a heart attack, she had a massive panic attack."

"Well why is she in surgery then? Are they fixing panic attacks with surgery these days?"

"Lorelai," her father said, as Luke came up behind and put his arm around her. Richard's voice grew thick and he seemed smaller than he had ever seen to her. "She fell down the back stairs. She hit her head and was bleeding. She's broken her leg, she has a severe concussion and they say she is bleeding internally…" he stopped as swallowed hard, "She was laying there for a long time before I found her. She's lost a lot of blood…" his voice broke and Lorelai threw her arms around him.

It had returned. The nightmare had returned to claim them all.

TBC! SOON! I Promise!


	38. The Darkest Hour

Disclaimer: This is an original story based upon the characters of Gilmore Girls. No profit will be made from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Note: Thank you for all the feedback on the last chapter. Sorry to leave you in such a spot. One note on this chapter, I am not a doctor and although I did some research about this chapter, please don't let the reality effect of the story be spoiled by the author's incompetence when it comes to these things. That having been said, enjoy this next installment!

His hands were old. When did he get so old? He turned his hands over and over again, twisting the gold band on his left finger. His hands had pins and needles running through them probably because he had been hyperventilating from the time he had come in the house and seen her lying there at the bottom of the stairs—so still and white. He looked down at his shirt, stained with her blood from when he had gathered her in his arms, cradling her head against his heart, placing a kitchen towel to her head as he called 911 and then sitting there on the floor with her, desperately shouting out pleas to the God who had already taken his love away once. Had he really got her back…only to watch her die this time?

The swish of the waiting room doors interrupted the silence. Rory came running in, Logan on her heels.

Richard watched as Lorelai stood up and hugged her daughter.

"Where is she? Is she okay?" Rory asked as they broke the hug.

Lorelai bit her lower lip and then took a deep breath. Rory's eyes widened as Lorelai repeated the list of her mother's injuries and then the two of them hugged again. Rory walked towards him then, her eyes pooling with tears.

"Grandpa…" she whispered and he hugged her to him, and extending a long arm hugged Lorelai to him as well. The two of them buried their heads in his embrace and he took a deep breath as he placed a hand on each of their heads as if holding onto them physically was the only way to keep his girls with him.

Since his three girls had come into his life it seemed as though he had always been loosing them. Since the day Lorelai had been born it seemed as though she had always been growing away from him, as if their relationship peaked at the first moment he held her in his arms and then went downhill from there. She seemed to be from a different race of people than he was. She was just wired differently. But oh he loved her, and he was so proud of her…his girl, the brightest girl who ever was. And then it was gone, all of it gone and he was a grandfather at forty with a new Lorelai in his life. At first, the child served as a painful reminder of all he had lost, but the first time she recognized him out of a room of strangers, and held out her hands for him he was taken. And he had lost her too…when his daughter had run away, leaving him with a wife that couldn't get out of bed. It was during that time that he had sworn off little girls forever.

Then, sixteen years later Lorelai came back, needing money in exchange for a weekly dinner. And so the daughter he didn't know anymore and the granddaughter he had never known came back. He had been shut off for so long that when his wife had suggested…well, not suggested really, he had been obstinate to the idea, refusing to open his heart again. But open his heart he had and that smile had won his heart again. Rory had become his whole world in her he found a reading companion, someone who cared about what he did and what he was interested in, and he had found a something that had showed him how sweet it was to be loved by a little girl. He had missed that with his own child and it was in her child that he had found all that he had lost, that he had been too busy to realize before.

And then…he had lost her too. She had left them, without saying goodbye, without a thank you, just left. That had hurt, but he had been so glad about her going back to Yale, that he hadn't minded all that much, but when the check he had sent came back it wasn't just about not needing him to pay for Yale, it was that she didn't need him anymore. He had been tossed away and forgotten.

He had lost his wife once when she had left him, and he had got her back, then he had lost her again when he thought she had died, carried away in the river no body to lay to rest. He had got her back again, only to have her upstairs dying. He felt like a man trying to hold on to the people he loved like grains of sand falling through his fingers. He was loosing, he was always loosing and there wasn't anything he could do about it.

"Mr. Gilmore?" a man in green scrubs appeared and all three of them jumped. "Yes," Richard said moving towards the doctor, "How is my wife?"

"I'm Dr. Young, I'm one of the surgeons who have been working on your wife. She's lost a lot of blood and needs a transfusion. Can one of you donate?"

Everyone turned to Richard and he drew in a sharp breath. "I can't, I'm B positive Emily is B negative." He turned to face Lorelai. "That's why didn't have anymore children…they said we couldn't or it could kill her."

Lorelai stood up and took a deep breath, "I'll do it. I'm B negative."

The doctor extended his hand, "Right this way."

Walking down the hallway towards the room she was reminded of how much she hated this place. Though the greatest moment of her life had occurred here, the birth of Rory, she had always hated hospitals, the smells of alcohol, the same look on everyone's faces—nervousness, some worse than others. She clutched her purse tighter to her as they went into a room where a nurse was waiting with a large painful looking needle and some vials.

"Denise, will take care of you. Thank you for doing this," the doctor said heading out the door.

"Wait!" Lorelai called, "Can you tell me how she is?"

The doctor sighed, "We've set her leg, and we have a team of surgeons working on repairing her internal bleeding right now. It's the head wound and concussion that has us worried. She lost a lot of blood."

"But…you can fix that right…I mean that's why I'm here, you can give her my blood."

"I wish it was that simple, your blood will help. We'll have to wait and see," he said and turned to go.

"Doctor," Lorelai said softly and caught him by the arm.

He turned back to face her.

"You need to make her better okay. You need to fix her," she said solemnly.

"I'll do my best," he said.

"No, you can't just do your best…I mean, I'm sure you will, but you have to fix her."

"Mrs. Danes, I can't promise anything,"

Lorelai's voice began to shake, "Look Dr. Young," she said. "I'm sure you are a very nice man, and after today you will to your very nice home to your very nice wife and your very nice children where you undoubtedly live a very nice life. Sir, I am begging you, you have no idea how much that woman upstairs means to us, you have no idea what this family has been through over the past two years, no idea. Please, I don't ask for much…well, maybe I do, but I will never ask anyone for anything again if that is the case which it probably is."

"Mrs. Danes…" Dr. Young started.

"Sir please…" Lorelai said forcefully grabbing his arm. "You simply have to make her better."

Something in the doctor's face was suddenly gentler and he placed a hand on her back. "I will do everything I can Mrs. Danes."

She nodded, clutching her purse tighter and heading into the room.

She had always been afraid of needles. This one seemed to be as long as her arm as the nurse instructed her to make a fist and tied the rubber strips to her forearm.

"I am never going to let my mother off the hook for this one," she said, wincing as the needle went in. "Yep, she is going to hear about this one for the rest of her life."

The nurse was not a chatty woman—not one of the ones that talked to you while a needle as long as your arm was going into you so that your blood could be drained to save your mother who was upstairs somewhere fighting for her life.

"Do you have a good relationship with your mother?" Lorelai asked the nurse and watched as the blood started filling the tube.

"No, I don't," the nurse said. "We fight constantly."

"Honey I wrote the book on that subject," Lorelai said grinning, "Man I can tell you some horror stories. My mother and I are the heavy weight champions of the world when it comes to mother daughter sparring. You wouldn't believe some of the stories I could tell you."

"Mrs. Danes, you need to sit quietly," the nurse said, "Don't get too excited."

"Oh, excited is my middle name, I always get excited, runs in the genes. You want to know something funny about my mother…she got in a car accident, almost two years ago and we thought she was dead…we had a funeral for her and everything. They could never find the body though because we crashed in a river and they thought she must have drowned in the water and been carried away. Yea, I said we because we were traveling together, I was in that water too, but I got out. I got to shore and just laid there, and I was so scared and I was coughing up water, and so cold that all I did was just lay there and you know what I laid there and laid there until someone came along and called 911 and then you know what I remembered, my mother was in that water yep, she was in that water. I sat there on that bank and screamed for her over and over again and she never answered me…nope never, and then they told me she was dead, that she was bleeding from a head wound and she had drowned and been swept away under the currant, yep, that's what they said. But, you know what, she wasn't dead. No, she was alive and this guy found her that had his kid die and her really missed her and so he just took her home with him, and she forgot everything she forgot who she was, and all of sudden she was in a small town, my mother hates small towns, with her very own Sookie, and teaching piano lessons, and wearing jeans and cooking and turning into Carol Brady, I mean my mother is the farthest person from Carol Brady I know, but there it is. Then my kid goes to Disneyland with her father and sees my mother in the airport, her dad thinks she's crazy, they come back, she runs away and my father goes after her. Then my father goes after her and finds her and my mother both but of course she doesn't remember him and he goes out there to live and then brings her back but she hated it here and left him…again, and went back to Bentley but he went to find her and bring her back and she came back and he bought her a house in Stars Hollow and she's teaching piano lessons, she was supposed to have her first recital on Sunday night but now she's here in the hospital…and…" suddenly she became very light headed and put her head between her knees.

"Lay back Mrs. Danes," the nurse said gently handing her a dixie cup of orange juice she had poured during Lorelai's monologue.

Lorelai took and it drinking it all gone slowly, she laid back.

"I'm sure your mother will be alright," the nurse said quietly.

Lorelai nodded and looked at the blood draining out of her. She remembered back when she had seen the stains of blood on the sheets right after she had had Lorelai. It had frieked her out but then she had turned and watched them wash that screaming adorable funny looking baby off that had just come out of her and place her on her stomach. She had started to cry as she held her daughter for the first time, that blood had been given to that baby and she have gladly at that moment given anything for that tiny precious creature.

Smiling at the memory, Lorelai wondered if her mother had felt like that in those first few minutes, when it was just the two of them. Her mother had given her life, and now she was giving life to her mother. She smiled faintly and brushed a tear out of her eyes.

The wait continued—another hour, another one. Lorelai rejoined the group looking pale and weak but proclaiming that she was going to give blood everyday because the cookies were so good they gave you afterwards. Rory and Logan seemed glued to each other, as Rory lay her head on Logan's shoulder and Logan kept his arms around her. Lorelai circulated between getting comfort from Luke and giving comfort to her father. The room seemed devoid of noise, the only sound was the endless ticking of the clock, ticking away the seconds.

The doors came open again and Dr. Young came in. They all stood up anxiously.

"How is she?" Richard asked.

"We've repaired the internal bleeding," he said, "She's in recovery now. She tolerated Mrs. Danes' blood very nicely."

"Is she going to be alright?" Richard asked anxiously.

The doctor sighed and waited a moment before speaking again, "Mr. Gilmore, I have to be honest with you. She has suffered a severe head wound, and from the history you told me, the second one within two years. She was unconscious for quite some time before you found her. I just don't know. I've done what I can, but I must tell you that with another head wound so recent and due to the fact that she never received treatment for that one, I give her about a fifty percent chance of surviving this and ever leading a normal life."

Richard drew in a sharp breath. He felt like he had been shot.

Rory burst into tears, Lorelai just stared at the doctor, looking white.

"I'll come down and get you in about a half hour, you'll be able to see her then," he said, putting his hand on Richard's arm and then walking away.

Richard closed his eyes and then turned and walked out of the waiting room.

Lorelai got up and headed after him. "Dad wait!" she called as he headed outside.

She hurried out after him and found him on a bench outside she had never seen him so devastated.

"Dad…" she said sitting down next to him.

"I had to go…I had to leave…I just couldn't…" he stammered. "I just wanted to go home, go to sleep and forget…I…I can't do this again Lorelai," he said and broke down sobbing, his large shoulders shaking, racking his body with sobs.

Instantly she put her arms around him, and he clung to her, sobbing out his broken heart.

Finally when he was able to stop, she separated the hug and looked at him. "Dad, you don't have to do this. You can go home. I'll stay with Mom. I'll call you if there is any change."

He drew in a few sharp breaths and then looked back at the hospital. "I can't leave her Lorelai," he said and she knew exactly what he meant…if it was Luke up there…

"Okay Daddy," she said gently and helped him up. "We'll go back inside."

They waited until Dr. Young came down and said that they could see her, but only one at a time.

"You go first Dad," Lorelai said and Richard was out the door with the doctor. He followed him down a hall his eyes catching views of patients in rooms, lying still and shriveled on their beds. He followed the doctor to a room, and there she was. She looked as white as the sheets beneath her, with a large bandage on the right side of her head and a cast on her leg. His eyes were focused on her chest which was slowly rising and falling.

"Call me if you need anything," Dr. Young said and Richard stepped inside. He walked slowly towards her bed, and bringing a chair over to the bedside he sat down next to her. He picked up her limp white hand and cradled it in his own.

"I'm here now Emmy," he whispered. "I'm here."

He sat there, watching her breathe, holding her hand. Everything was silent, the old sound was the beeping of the monitor. If she was truly to leave him this time, and there would be no other chances, he wanted to be with her when she left for good and then she would know once and for all that she was the love of his life. She was so beautiful, even with her face pale and drawn she was still the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Never had any woman occupied his heart the way she had. Her warmth, her passion, the way she would yell at him if he used one of the dark blue guest towels for his shower or smoked Cabana cigars which were his favorite cigars on the earth but gave her a dreadful sinus headache. What would he do without her? He had lost her once and it had almost destroyed him, he didn't know what he would be like if he lost her again.

He was so lost in his own thoughts staring at her face, watching her breathe that he didn't notice that her grip on his hand had become firm—her fingers were curled around his!

He leaned forward, reaching out to touch her when slowly…painfully her eyes opened. He felt like he was the one having the heart attack now!

Her eyes seemed desperate, full of fear, she opened her mouth but she couldn't talk. She swallowed and winced in pain

"Richard…" she whispered hoarsely.

Author's end note: Okay, you can throw things at me now. TBC!


	39. Journey

Disclaimer: This is an original story based upon the characters of Gilmore Girls. No profit will be made from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Note: Thank you all for the feedback. That was a difficult chapter to write and I'm glad you all enjoyed it. I figured I had to update pretty quickly now to get you out of the spot I left you in. This chapter will be a little different, but I hope you enjoy it. If it is confusing, this is Laura's point of view of what happened. Another hint—italics, in Laura's mind, non-italics—really happening

She stood at the top of the stairs doubling over in pain, pleading for help.

_Please, don't do this to him, not again_

She had tried to get Jean's attention, stomping with as much strength as she had but Jean hadn't heard her and went out the door, Rachel had already left, Richard wasn't coming home…she was alone. She had to get to a phone…she _had _to get to the phone.

_She was freezing…she was drowning and she knew it. The black water was pulling her under…but she had to find her baby. "Lorelai!" she screamed it out "God please!" _

Laura doubled over in pain again, unable to breathe…she was going to die…she was going to die and leave Richard all alone again. "Somebody…please…help…me…" she gasped in pain. "Richard…" she gasped and she was falling…

_She was falling…_

"_Lorelai! We're going in the river!" she cried and yanking herself free from her seatbelt threw herself over her daughter to shield her from the impact. _

"_Mom!" Lorelai screamed and the car plunged into the river. _

She was falling…she was conscious of it but she couldn't stop herself…her leg hurt…she was so scared…

"_If you want one of us!" she screamed out to the Heavens choking out black water "Take me! God please! Take me!" It was moments later that the car came by…smacking her in the head and the blackness over took her…_

It seemed as though she had been falling forever, her body hurt…she couldn't breathe and then she her head hit something hard and the room started to spin…there seemed to be an enveloping darkness all around her…she was going to die…just like the last time…_just like the last time. _

"Richard…" she breathed…and she was gone.

_Someone was talking to her…she was so cold…was she dead? Was death this cold? It was a man he was holding her close to him, checking to see if she was okay…She opened her eyes slowly…Where was Lorelai? Was she okay?_

_Sir, please…my daughter, she's still in there…my baby…please…save my baby. _

_She tried to tell him, tried to make him understand that her daughter was in there and needed help…Lorelai…she tried to say…Lorelai…_

"_I'm going to take care of you," he had said and picked her up…_

_No, Sir please…you don't understand…my daughter…please…my baby…_

_But he hadn't understood her…_

_Because all she had been able to say was…Laura_

_Laura…Lorelai…Lorelai…_

"_Emily…you have a beautiful baby girl," Joshua said smiling as he showed her the screaming infant. _

"_Let me have her," she begged lying back and breathing heavily after her fourteen hour long ordeal. _

"_Just a moment Mommy," the nurse said taking her away and cleaning her off. _

"_Is she okay? Joshua…is she okay?" _

"_She's just fine Emily, a perfect happy healthy baby," _

_The nurse brought her over and Emily held out her arms…the baby was so beautiful, with lots of dark hair…her baby…her own sweet darling baby. _

_She bent down and kissed her little forehead…tears sliding off her cheeks onto the fuzzy little head. "I love you," she whispered. _

"_I love you," she said as she bent down to kiss the three year old's tear stained cheeks. "That's my girl, that's Mommy's little angel." Poor thing…she had been in such terrible pain…_

"_I love you," she said taking the little girl in her arms. "Now you be a good girl and do what the teacher says okay?" The little girl had clung to her, "Lorelai…you are going to be just fine…I'll be right here when you get home…I love you." _

"_I love you Mommy," she whispered. _

"_I love you," she said, sitting on her daughter's bed late at night, gently scratching her back the way she used to do when she was a child. She reached up and touched her black hair—such thick black beautiful hair! Lorelai reached up and wiped a tear out of her eyes. Her girl was scared…she needed her, for the first time in years she needed her…She was going to be a mother…her bright beautiful girl…she was going to be a mother! She had been yelling all night long since Lorelai had come in and told them, they had been in a huge fight about responsibility and decorum and both had gone to bed hating the other. _

_And then the mother had crept in late at night, sitting on her bedside…doing something she so rarely did…simply be Lorelai Gilmore's mom. She scratched her back gently, leaning over to kiss her daughter on the back of the head._

"_I love you…everything is going to be okay."_

_It was the last time she would say those words in a very long time_

_But she felt them…she felt them whenever she looked at her girl…her girl…her baby girl. _

_Lorelai I love you…I always have…Please…love me._

"_I love you Lorelai," she had said in the bedroom with the white bed post and the lavender bed spread. They had just spent their perfect day…_

_Mom…Dad…kid…_

_And the dad and the kid had accused her of watching the Leave it to Beaver reruns again_

_She looked at the woman in the bed and wondered how she could have given birth to someone so beautiful. _

"_I love you too Mom," Lorelai said and it thrilled her with delight. _

"_I love you," Lorelai said…putting her arms around her and gently kissing her cheek. _

_She felt like falling over from the shock…Was this her daughter? _

"_Merry Christmas Mom," she said gently. _

_She had made up her mind that she was never going to show her daughter any weakness, if she wanted to live faraway in some country bumpkin town, well that was her own stupid choice…but her she was…it was Christmas…her girl was here, hugging her, telling her that she loved her._

"_Merry Christmas Sweetheart," she said softly, "I…I love you too." _

_Lorelai smiled, that beautiful smile, and went to get in the car. _

"_Goodbye Grandma!" six year old Rory called looking ecstatic. _

"_Goodbye Sweetie," she called waving goodbye. _

_Rory turned and waved until they were out of sight. She looked so happy. _

_You must love your daughter an awful lot Lorelai…thank you for trying…_

"_Rory? Rory are you in here?" she had called walking into the bedroom. _

_There was a small shuffling in the closet and she went over to it…_

_Why was this familiar…because Richard had read about it in Rory's letter! She was remembering! _

_Richard...I'm remembering! _

_She opened the closet to find her sniffling granddaughter, clinging to a teddy bear. _

"_Well, it's Rory and Mr. Beans," she said, sitting down next to her and bringing her knees into her chest. "What are you two doing in here?" _

"_Nothing," the little girl said. _

"_Sweetie, what's wrong?" she asked, reaching out and touching the little girl's hair…the act seemed so foreign to her…but it felt good. _

"_I just don't want to go home yet." _

"_I see." _

"_I like it here." _

"_I like having you here. Maybe you'll have to come over more often." _

"_No…I can't," _

_She extended her arm around the little girl, bringing her into her. _

"_It was Grandmother's day at school two weeks ago…did you know that?" the little girl asked. _

"_No," she said simply, cursing her daughter. _

"_The grandma's came to class and got to have a special lunch in the common room with pizza and everything. And they were going to decorate cupcakes and make a Christmas present for the moms." _

_Her heart went into two_

"_That sounds like it would have been fun." _

"_I went with Millie Pierce and her grandma…Mom said she would come…but I…wanted you." _

_Oh dear God…_

"_I would have loved to have been there Rory," she said, holding back the tears. _

"_Rory, your mother is waiting for you, she doesn't know where you are and she is worried about you. You have such a lovely home, and your mother would miss you so much if you were gone. Should we go and find her now?" she asked, standing up and holding out her hand for the little girl. _

"_I miss you Grandma," Rory whispered and she picked her up gathering her in her arms. Lorelai wouldn't be picked up after the age of two. Once she started walking, she wouldn't give up that independence for anything. _

"_I miss you too Rory. But you are a part of me, and I'm a part of you. As long as that's true then we won't ever be far apart okay?" she said, kissing the girl's cheek. _

"_Okay," Rory answered. She put her down and taking her hand started down the stairs to Lorelai who she intended to give a piece of her mind to once Rory was out of earshot. _

"_Hey Munchkin!" Lorelai said, the worry in her eyes quickly disappearing. "Go get in the car, I'll be right there." _

"_Bye Grandma!" Rory called heading to the car. _

"_Bye Rory," she said, standing at the door and waved to her. _

"_Lorelai," she turned to her daughter once Rory was in the car when to her utter shock and amazement, Lorelai whispered, "I love you," and put her arms around her. _

"_Merry Christmas Mom," _

"_Merry Christmas Sweetheart, I…I love you too." _

_Lorelai smiled and went to the car…she stood there and waved goodbye to her girl that had just said words she hadn't said in seven years and to a delighted grandchild. _

"_Grandma, I go wherever I want to, whenever I want to and I haven't been spending the night at Paris's house I've been at Logan's!" she's fighting with me, at a DAR function…I have never seen that look in her eyes before…_

_Anger…_

_Disillusionment…_

_Distain…_

_She hates me…_

_I've lost her…_

_When your father gets home…_

_No…not this ones father…grandfather…this isn't my daughter…it's that little girl in the closet…and she hates me…I blew it…_

"_I'd have to be living in the at the house to have house rules." _

_Am I in the Twilight Zone? Are you my granddaughter? Are you Rory Gilmore? _

_Young lady do not walk away me! _

_Rory had left. She had come home and Rory had left…_

_No thank you…no goodbye…_

_And so she had went and looked at a plane…_

_She had ignored Richard's calls. She couldn't face him…she had lost his girl for him…driven her away…another one…she couldn't face him. _

"_Mom, it's Lorelai you have to call me back when you get this message. Okay? Dad is frantic and we don't know where you are, so just call my cell phone as soon as possible. We just want to know if everything's alright." _

_She sat in the cot pit and listened to her daughter's message._

_So suddenly you care now Lorelai? _

_But there was something in Lorelai's voice…something that made her want her. She reached for the phone and hit the send button…_

"_Mom…Thank God." _

"_I lost her like I lost you, feels remarkably similar to me," she hated herself for crying. _

"_You didn't lose her like you lost me, She was never supposed to be there in the first place…" _

_You don't get Lorelai…this isn't about her going back to school, leaving my house, I've seen it in her eyes…I've lost her…just like I lost you…_

"_And you didn't lose me," Lorelai says as she walks out of the plane. _

_Am I in the Twilight Zone? Are you my daughter? Are you Lorelai Gilmore? _

"_Even if I hadn't gotten pregnant, you still would have lost me, I had nothing in that house I had no life I had no air!" _

"_And you didn't lose me" _

"_And you didn't lose me" _

"_Grandma, none of that matters," her little Audrey was saying to her as she had her arms around her, "When the car accident happened…I just thought that night in the hospital that you had died thinking I hated you, that you had lost me. I was…oh Grandma, I was wrong. I was so wrong." _

_It's alright Sweetie. I forgive you. _

"_Richard, you have a beautiful healthy daughter," Joshua said, opening the door and letting the anxious Papa in. _

_Richard! Richard! Look at her, isn't she beautiful? We have a daughter…and I remember! I remember all of it! _

_He walked towards her, tenderly kissing her still quivering head. "Are you alright?" he asked. _

_She could only nod with speechless happiness as she passed the baby into his arms. _

_He held the child, and she saw tears spill over his cheeks. _

_He knelt down and put his head against hers, "I love you Emmy," he whispered. _

_She reached up and caressed his cheek, "Oh I love you Richard," _

"_Shut up and kiss me Stupid," she had said and then it was if fireworks were exploding and the whole world was singing as this man kissed her. _

"_I am the man who is in love with you Emily Hansen and that is all I am," he said, slipping the sparkling diamond on her finger and bringing her to him again…was there anything in the world she could love more? _

"_She hates me Richard," she said, walking out to her car. _

"_Emily wait, that's just the way she is." _

"_She doesn't think I'm good enough for you." _

"_Darling no..." he said catching her hand and turning her to face him. _

"_Emily what is it? What is it really?" _

_He put his arms around her, and she rested her head on his chest. _

"_Maybe…she's right," she whispered. _

_He leaned down and placed a finger under her chin bringing her up to meet him. _

"_You are the only girl in the whole world for me," he said. _

_He reached out a hand to touch her face and sent shivers through her body. They were laying in their bed…their bed, together and they had made love for the first time in half a year. He loved her…he still loved her…_

"_Emmy," he whispered, "You are the only girl in the whole world for me. You always have been." _

_Oh Richard…I love you…I love you so much. _

"…_I couldn't believe what I had just done…I'd resigned, I'd quit. I believe I even used a little profanity in the process. But you know what Emily, I was thrilled, elated, a giant weight had been lifted off my chest…" _

_Oh Richard, why didn't you tell me…why didn't you tell me you were miserable, why couldn't I see it? _

"…_I didn't want to fight…I didn't want to worry, I just wanted to keep being happy." _

_That did her in. She struggled to keep her emotions in check as he started going over their money situation. _

"_Richard, let's just go to bed." _

_He smiled at her, holding out his hand. She took it. _

_They came to their room and shutting the door, he put his hands on her shoulders. He was so tall…so handsome. _

"_I love you Emily," he whispered, brushing a hand across her cheek. _

"_I love you too Richard…All I want is for you to be happy," _

"_I've been thinking," he said, taking her hands in his. _

"_Yes?" she asked. _

"_I'm not so sure the mantle is the best place for Gran's ashes. The ledge is too small, wouldn't really be appropriate." _

"_But her wishes?" _

"_Being buried with my father, seems right don't you agree?" _

_Realizing what he is saying, she smiles at him…_

_Oh I love you…_

_And I mean this with all my heart…_

"_Whatever you want Richard." _

_She was playing the song…the last number and suddenly she felt strange…there was a man there…a man that was looking at her…calling her Emily and hugging her like he could never let her go…Richard. _

"_I would like to dedicate this song to the man who has won my heart—the love of my life Richard Gilmore." _

"_I am the man who is in love with you, and that is all I am." _

"_I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't rush you and if I look at you for one more minute I am going to have to kiss you." _

_But I've forgotten how…_

_Some things are stronger than amnesia, and kissing him was one of them. _

"_I love you, Laura or Emily, I only know I love you." _

"_I love you Richard," _

"_I love you too Emily, more than you'll ever know." _

"_You scared the Hell out of me, when I couldn't find you in Bentley." _

"_Laura, what do you want…tell me what you want." _

_Oh Richard I remember…I am Emily! I am Emily! _

"_I Richard take thee Laura, to be my lawful wedded wife, for better or for worse." _

"_I Richard, take thee Emily, to be my lawful wedded wife, for better or for worse." _

_Oh Richard! I remember! _

"_You may kiss the bride." _

_The bride…his bride…Richard's bride…the happiest day of my life. _

"_I love you," he whispers so gently that only she can hear him and then he kisses her. _

"_Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Mr. and Mrs. Gilmore!" _

_Mrs. Gilmore…I am Mrs. Gilmore. _

"_You're okay Mr. Gilmore," she said sitting on the swing in her purple ball gown. _

"_You're not so bad yourself Mrs. Gilmore," he replied. _

"_Take me!" she was screaming to the storming heavens. "Please, take me!" _

_The car sailed across and smacked her in the head… _

_Please John…my daughter…my baby…she's still in there. _

_She was doubling over in pain, she couldn't breathe…_

"_You have to have an EKG every year…" _

_Please God…don't do this…not to him again…_

_She was falling…_

_She was falling…shielding her daughter from the impact…_

_Her head hit something hard…_

"_Richard…" _

"_I'M HERE NOW EMMY, I'M HERE," his voice resounded through her body. _

_Richard! Richard I remember! Richard I remember everything. _

_She felt shivers all up and down her body…he was holding her hand…_

_Richard…Richard…I'm here…I'm not going to leave you…not again…_

"_Lorelai, where are you?" she screamed. _

_Please God…don't do this…not to him again…_

Her whole body hurt, she winced as she slowly opened her eyes, focusing on Richard. He was staring at her, his whole body shaking.

She tried to speak, but she couldn't…she swallowed hard.

"Richard…" she whispered. He leaned over and placed a hand on her forehead.

"I'm here," he said. "I'm right here."

She reached up and placed a weak hand on her chest, "Lorelai," she whispered weakly, "Is she alright?"

He nodded, "She's fine, she's downstairs."

He smoothed some hair out of her face.

"Laura…" he breathed.

"Richard," Emily said weakly after catching her breath. "It's me…I remember…I remember everything…"

He stared at her in disbelief, not daring to hope. Tears pooled in her eyes and she nodded, "It's me," she said in a shaking voice.

It was then that the poor man's strength completely gave out on him and grasping his wife's hand he kissed it and broke down crying.

"Emmy," he whispered between his sobs, putting his head against her hand, kissing it over and over again.

Crying herself, Emily simply put a hand on the back of her husband's head.

TBC!


	40. Visitors

Disclaimer: This is an original story based upon the characters of Gilmore Girls. No profit will be made from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Note: Thanks for all the feedback on the last chapter. I appreciate it! This chapter was confusing I know, even more than I thought it would be because I forgot that double spaces every line—I tried putting breaks in between the thoughts but nothing would show up when I posted the story. I hope it wasn't too confusing. As for the memories, I've had some questions as to what some of them mean. I kind of left that up to people's own interpretations and vague so as to fit with the whole dreamy kind of thing. Anyway, hope you enjoy the next installment.

_She laid there on the bank coughing up water, gasping for the good air. The rain pelting on her felt like needles stabbing her. As soon as she could stand she started clawing her way up the beach towards the road. The bright lights of a car blinded her as she reached the street. _

"_Help! Help me!" she cried. Two people hurried out of their car—a middle aged man and woman. _

"_Are you alright?" the man asked. _

"_I was in the river…I was…I was drowning." _

"_Sam, she's hypothermic," the woman said, taking her coat off and placing it around her shoulders._

"_What happened?" the woman asked gently. _

_She was shaking…she tried to remember…what…had…happened? _

"_Oh God!" she suddenly screamed and started running back to the river, falling over and tumbling down to the waters edge. The couple rushed down after her and the man grabbed her as she started back into the water. _

"_Let me go! My mother's in there!" she cried as she fought the man holding her. "Let me go!" _

"_Christine call 911!" the man yelled fiercely and then turned back to her, "I'll find your mother," he said, jumping into the water. _

_She stood there on the bank… "Mom! Mom answer me!" _

"Mom! Mom!" Rory was shaking her awake. She woke up with a jolt and saw Rory's scared face.

_No…please…oh no…_

Rory said nothing just pointed to a bunch of nurses hurrying down the hall with startled looks on their faces. Dr. Young hurried by without looking at them. Lorelai bolted out of her chair as if she had been picked up and thrown out and ran down the hall. Her heart was in her throat as she hurried down the hall towards the room. Her heart stopped and she felt herself passing out as she heard her father sobbing as she got closer to the room.

"No…oh please no!" she cried out as she came around the room and saw the doctors and nurses standing over her mother with her father sobbing bent down over her kissing her hand.

"You promised!" she yelled as she came into the room towards the doctor. "You promised you would fix her; you promised you would make her better!"

"Lorelai…Sweetheart…I'm right here," came a weak voice from the bed.

Lorelai turned, "…Mommy?" she breathed.

Emily nodded, her eyes pooling with tears, "I'm right here."

Lorelai stepped towards the bed and her mother reached up and cupped her face in her hands.

"Are you alright?" Emily whispered.

Lorelai nodded and laid her head against her mother's chest. Emily looked up at Richard as she reached up and caressed her daughter's hair. Richard motioned to the doctors and nurses and seeing they needed to leave the two alone they followed Richard's lead and headed out the door. When everyone had left, leaving mother and child alone, Lorelai started to cry and Emily whispered tenderly, "Shh, it's alright everything is alright now…that's my Angel-girl."

Lorelai suddenly stopped crying and stared at her mother, "You…you remember…don't you."

Emily nodded, "Everything,"

Lorelai drew in a sharp breath, "Everything? The past year, living in Bentley, being Laura?"

Emily nodded, "All of it."

Lorelai smiled and then she bit her lower lip and laid her head back down against her mother's chest, "So you remember the accident too then?"

Emily nodded, "Yes,"

"Why did we have to go through this Mom? Why?"

Emily closed her arms tighter around her girl and bent down and kissed the top of her head, "Well…just look at you and me here. This is worth everything to me."

Lorelai nodded and the two of them just laid there together silently for a few moments.

"I gotta go get Rory," Lorelai said after a few minutes and lifting up her head, kissed her mother's cheek. "I love you Mom," she whispered.

"I love you too," Emily said back.

Luke and Logan stayed in the waiting room when Lorelai came down to get Rory to give the family a chance to be alone for a few minutes. It was happy reunion between the four Gilmores that lasted only for a few minutes. It was past one in the morning and now that the doctors knew that Emily was safe, they told the family that they needed to observe regular visiting hours and come back in the morning.

"Can I stay with her?" Richard asked, holding his wife's hand.

"I'm sorry Mr. Gilmore, hospital policy, you can't stay with her the first night as she needs to be closely observed and wakened every half hour. Tomorrow night you can," Dr. Young said as the nurses started ushering Lorelai and Rory out.

"Dr, I do not mind, I insist to be allowed to stay with my wife," Richard stated firmly.

"Mr. Gilmore…" Dr. Young started.

"Richard…" came the weak and tired voice in the bed. He turned towards her. She reached up a hand and placed it on his chest.

"Richard, go home, you're exhausted."

"Emily…"

"Richard," she said more firmly, "I'm not going anywhere."

He reached down and placed a hand on her forehead, smoothing away her hair. "I'll be back first thing in the morning," he said and reaching down kissed her gently.

"Bye Mom, we'll be back," Lorelai said.

"Bye Grandma," Rory said, reaching down and kissing her cheek.

"Goodbye girls, I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Definitely," Rory said as they headed out the door.

Richard stayed for a moment longer, and Emily squeezed his hand, "Darling, go home. I'll see you in the morning."

He reached down again and touched her face, sending shivers through her. "I love you Emily Gilmore," he whispered.

"I love you too Richard," she replied, caressing his cheek.

He turned and went out the door where Lorelai and Rory were waiting. He put one arm around each of them as they walked down to the waiting room to Luke and Logan and then turned them over to other arms. They were all exhausted as they left the hospital and walked out to their cars. The night was warm for October, with bright sparkling stars in the sky.

Rory and Logan were the first to leave and as Lorelai was getting in the car she turned to say goodnight to her father, who, to her surprise, opened his trunk, and got a small blanket out of a box that looked like it was for emergencies.

"Dad?" Lorelai asked as Richard headed back towards the hospital. "Dad what are you doing?"

He didn't answer, just kept walking back towards the hospital. She followed him until he came to a bench on the west side, below her mother's room.

"Dad?" she asked again as he laid down on the bench, folding his suit coat in fourths and putting it under his head, and put the blanket over him.

"Dad…" Lorelai said gently as she came around and knelt down in front of him. "She's going to be okay."

"Lorelai," her father replied as if he had just realized she was there. "I _can't _leave her."

She was about to open her mouth to refute him, to order him to go home, prepared to channel her mother, but seeing his determined face and knowing what he had endured, she simply smiled. "Okay Daddy," she whispered and kissed him on the forehead. "We'll see you in the morning."

"Goodnight Lorelai," Richard said gently and Lorelai left. He turned towards the window up on the third floor, whose light was still on. He smiled and settled into his suit coat.

Some might have thought, seeing the big man lying on a bench that he was in for the worst night of sleep in his life…but knowing that his love was nearby, that she was safe and that she had come back to him, his Emmy had finally come home to him, the man slept soundly for the first time in two years.

Emily had to be woken up every half hour because of her head injury and so she didn't fare as well as Richard. Though she would have appreciated the chance to try, she didn't think she could have slept very well. She had just changed lives…again. Except this time, she wasn't just one or the other. She was Laura, and she was Emily, how could two such different people be just one person? Her head hurt thinking about it. Who was the real her?

She drifted off to sleep when the nurse came in at 6:30 in the morning and then when the nurse came in again at 7, her eyes fluttered and saw Richard sitting in the chair next to her, holding her hand.

"Hello Beautiful," he said as she smiled at him

"Hey yourself Handsome," she replied.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, coming next to her and placing a hand on her forehead.

"Fine…I guess. A little like Clark Kent and Superman, like I've got a secret identity and I don't know which was one is the real me."

"I can understand that," he said.

The nurse puttered around the machines for a moment and that nodded to Emily, "If you need anything Mrs. Gilmore, please feel free to ring the bell. You're okay now to the point that if you sleep we need to wake you every three hours. You should get some rest."

"Thank you," Emily said, and the nurse left, leaving the two alone.

"We have a lot to talk about," Richard said after she had left.

Emily shook her head and then painfully moved to the side of her bed. Weakly, she patted the side of the bed. "Just hold me Richard," she whispered.

He moved towards her, taking of his shoes and getting into the bed next to her. Tenderly he took her in his arms, and held her, reaching down to kiss the top of her forehead.

"Emmy," he whispered after a few minutes.

"Yes?" she responded.

"As of right now, I without question break my promise."

"What promise?"

"You can't go first,"

She smiled and put her head on his chest. He put his hand on the back of her head and caressed her hair. "Promise me," he whispered hoarsely, "Promise me you won't leave me alone again.

"I promise," she said feeling so safe in his arms, just like she had so long ago when she would sneak down and putting on her wedding ensemble and looked at herself in the mirror.

They laid there like that for awhile until she started to succumb to her exhaustion. "Darling I think I am going to go and let you sleep for awhile," Richard said.

She nodded, "Okay,"

"I'll be down the hall," he said. "Have the nurse call me if you need me."

"Richard, Darling…go home, take a nap and a shower."

"Are you telling me I smell?" he said with mock indignation.

"Dreadfully," she said with a smile. "I'll be fine."

"I'll be back in a few hours," he said, reaching down to kiss her.

He turned and left and she fell asleep. She slept soundly for a few hours and then the next thing she knew the nurse was waking her up again. She turned to see if Richard was sitting next to her, but instead it was Lorelai.

"Hi," she said smiling. "How are feeling?"

Emily smiled, "Better now,"

"Well," Lorelai said smiling. "Luke is running a few errands in town, and I thought you might like to…" she pulled out a deck of cards from her jacket pocket and jiggled them back and forth. "Up for a few games of speed?"

Emily chuckled, "You remember that?"

"You're asking me Mother? I'm not the Forgetful Jones of this family."

"But…you said you didn't remember the mashed bananas on toast, I mean…you remember me playing speed with you when you were sick?"

Lorelai patted her hand and brought her chair over. "I'm remembering a lot more these days Mother."

She dealt the cards and Emily smiled with affection as her daughter picked up her cards and organized them in order from lowest to highest, sometimes mouthing the number out loud the same adorable way she had when she was six years old. They played two games, both of which Emily won, and then Lorelai slowed a little while dealing out the next hand.

"Something bothering you?" Emily asked gently.

Lorelai stopped and stared down at her feet.

"Sweetheart?" Emily prodded.

Lorelai looked up, "Why didn't you ever tell me about the RH factor in your pregnancy…that you couldn't have anymore kids because of it?"

Emily stared at her for a second, then looked down at her hands. They sat in silence for a minute and then Emily took a deep breath. "Do you remember that day when you came to my house after Rory's debutante ball and you said that if there was anything I ever wanted to talk about with you I could?"

Lorelai nodded.

"Oh I wanted to, I wanted to just sit there and tell you everything that was on my heart, but I couldn't."

"Why?" Lorelai prodded.

"Because I'm not you Lorelai. Rory is your best friend, you tell each other everything. I'm just not that way."

Lorelai stared down at the floor, "I thought you didn't want anymore after me. I thought that…you were disappointed with the way the first one came out and so you didn't want anymore."

"Oh Lorelai," Emily sighed, "It killed me to not have anymore children. I wanted them so badly."

Lorelai looked up at her, "I'm sorry that I never knew how much that hurt you Mom,"

Emily placed a hand on her daughter's cheek, "Thank you."

Lorelai smiled and then went back to dealing out the cards, feeling a little awkward. She had been getting used to having a more touching relationship with Laura but it seemed strangely awkward now that her mother was back to being Emily.

She quietly dealt out the cards and then picked her pile up.

"What is it?" Emily asked gently.

"This is weird," Lorelai said, "I mean, you're my mother, you have this ritzy life, everything that I have turned away from and then you lose your memory, you live in your own Stars Hollow, you have your own Sookie, you hate the DAR…it's like you became me."

"Well…" Emily said as she picked up her cards. "You always were the best part of me."

Lorelai looked up from her cards. "Do you really mean that?"

Emily nodded, "Yes," she stared down at her hands again, "I don't want to lose it either Lorelai…what we've had since we found each other again. I'm not going to let that happen."

Lorelai nodded, "Me neither."

Suddenly Lorelai's phone started buzzing and she took it out of her pocket, cursing under her breath. "Mom, I have to take this, it's the inn. I'll just go outside for a few minutes."

"Okay, I'll be right here," she said as Lorelai went out the door.

Emily sat back and stretched out her hands, her leg still hurt, she was tired but she felt like she could run a marathon she was so happy. She smiled delightedly about how things really would be different now, making plans for dinners to come, movie nights, trips to the mall…finally she would really be a part of things, really be able to join in the fun. She was so lost in her thoughts she didn't notice that someone was standing at her door. Luke knocked softly and she turned towards him.

"Hello," she said smiling.

"Hello Mrs. Gilmore," Luke said.

"Luke," Emily said shifting in pain, "Please…it's Emily."

"Emily…" Luke said, looking uncomfortable, "I ran into Lorelai downstairs and she said I should come up and say hi."

There was a few moments of silence between them.

"So…hi," he said.

"Luke," Emily said smiling, "I don't bite."

Luke looked at her warily, "Well…" he said with a smile, before he realized he was joking with Emily Gilmore.

Emily laughed lightly, "Touché"

Again they stood there in silence. "Luke…" Emily began after a minute. "You were right, I'm not the same person I was."

"Look, if I ever did or said anything at all to make you hate me…"he said stepping towards her.

"You did nothing Luke. I was wrong…" she paused and looked up at him. "I'm sorry," she said.

"Me too," he said smiling.

"I'm glad you married my daughter," she said after a minute.

"Me too," he said without skipping a beat.

"So, what are you going to do now?" he asked, sitting down on a chair.

"Do my best to merge the two worlds," she said. "I'm going to be myself. I'm going to do charity work with the DAR, and teach piano lessons. I'm going to live in my beautiful train station home and come home to my weekend home every Friday and cook dinner."

"I like the Stars Hollow house," he said and then added with a twinkle in his eye, "It's real…rustic,"

Emily burst out laughing so hard she could barely breathe.

"Hey…play a game with me while Lorelai's gone," she said, pointing to the cards.

He warily picked up the cards and looked curiously at her.

"What? Have you never played speed before?" she asked.

Luke shook his head, "It's just…I'm about to play cards, with Emily Gilmore, but that's not an Emily Gilmore thing, that's a Laura Baker thing but, you're not Laura Baker anymore, but you never were really, I mean you were always Emily Gilmore…but were you? It's all just a little weird."

"Luke, you're part of the Gilmore family now," she said picking up her cards. "Weird just comes with the territory."

TBC!


	41. Confessions

Disclaimer: This is an original story based upon the characters if Gilmore Girls. No profit will be made from this story and no copyright infringement is intended. t

Author's Note: I'm sorry that it has been so long since I updated. Things are pretty hectic here. Thank you for all the feedback. I'm glad you liked the last chapter. I hope you enjoy this next one.

"I have something to say," Emily said with a smile, "And it will no doubt take you by suprise," She paused and looked at the two faces on either side of her who undoubtedly knew what was coming. "Gin," she said triumphantly, laying down her eight cards with a smile. "...that makes what...seven wins for me?"

"How?" Lorelai asked looking up dumbfounded from her cards. Richard stared at his cards and scratched his head.

"I cheat," Emily said smiling as she took the two dollars and new lipstick that had been offered in the pool.

At that Luke looked up from his chair in the corner where he was reading a magazine.

"I'm kidding!" she said laughing as she saw Luke's face.

"So, who's up for another game...Luke?" she asked as she added her new additions to her pile of tweny dollars,a Caramello bar, a large bag of Reeses pieces, a box of Wheat Thins, and a package of post-it notes.

"No thanks Emily," Luke said chuckling and returning to his magazine.

"Lorelai...Richard...?" Emily asked.

Just then, Nurse Henley walked by. She was a large woman, with spectacles on the end of her nose. She cleared her throat and stared at the three visitors and then walked away.

"Saved by the freaky looking nurse once again telling us in her own special that we are after visiting hours again," Lorelai said as soon as she was gone.

"Lorelai...she'll hear you," Emily said smiling.

"I better go talk to the nurses desk about bringing my cot in," Richard said and went out the door.

"We better go," Lorelai said standing followed by Luke.

"Luke," Emily said, "Would you give us a minute please?"

"Of course Emily," Luke said and then turned to Lorelai, " I'll wait in the car," he said and went out the door.

As soon as he was gone, Lorelai sat back down on the bed and put a hand on her mother's leg. "What's up?" she asked.

"Lorelai..."Emily said looking down at the folds in the sheets for a few minutes and then looked up at her daughter. "Where is Rory?"

Lorelai looked like she had something on the tip of her tongue, an excuse she had ready made but counldn't get out.

"You know...Rory, also known as Lorelai, really pretty, your child my grandchild," Emily prodded.

"Oh that Rory," Lorelai said, "I thought you meant the one that I met at the grocery store today."

"Lorelai..."

"Mom, she's just been really busy. This is a crazy time of the year for her."

"Lorelai..." Emily said, affixing "the stare." "It's been five days. I haven't seen her since that first day."

"Mom... really...she's just busy,"

"Lorelai,"

Finally Lorelai broke, "I don't know Mom. She evades my questions about it. She comes up with things she has to do."

Emily sighed and turned to look out the window. "Is she mad at me?"

"I don't know Mom," Lorelai said quietly, "I'll try to find out okay,"

Emily nodded, still looking out the window.

Lorelai stood up and kissed the top of her mother's head. Emily leaned into her embrace.

"Good night Mom," Lorelai said.

"Goodnight Angel-girl," Emily whispered.

Lorelai left and Emly was left alone. Lorelai walked slower through the hallway. She didn't know what was wrong with Rory and she was worried about it. She had dismissed it as her being busy at first but knew that something was up after she kept avoiding the subject of her mother whenever she brought it up. She had let it go, figuring that she just needed time to work out whatever it was, but she needed to find out what was bothering Rory now. She refused to have any more rifts in this family.

Emily sat alone in the room, looking out the window until she felt Richard's gentle hands brushing her hair out of her face. She leaned into him and he put his arms around her, "What's troubling you my love?" he whispered gently.

"Rory," she said, "She hasn't come to see me and I don't know why."

Richard tightened his embrace around her.

"Richard...Richard you don't think she hasn't forgiven me...for before," she asked anxiously.

"Sh...Emmy, it's alright," Richard said, putting his hand on the back of her head. "Darling, that girl loves you so much,"

"Then why hasn't she come to see me?" Emily asked.

"She loves you Emily, she'll come," he said. "Let's go to sleep."

She nodded and laid back down on the bed. She looked up at Richard's face. "I love you," she said. He reached down and tenderly, lovingly, kissed her. "I love you too," he said and then went to turn out the lights and climbed into his cot.

"Richard," Emily said after a few minutes.

"Yes?" he answered in the dark.

"I was miserable. The whole time we were seperated. I was miserable without you."

"Emily...you have no idea," came the reply.

There was a few more minutes of silence between them and then Richard spoke, "Emily...about Rory's birthday party...what I said..."

"It's alright Richard. It doesn't matter anymore."

"Emily...you are the most important person in the world to me."

Emily smiled happily in the dark at Richard's words, which she always had known, but never heard enough. "Goodnight Richard," she said, her voice shaking.

Richard heard the happiness in her voice and smiled, "Goodnight Emily."

When Emily woke up the next morning, the cot next to her was made and a post-it note was attached to the side of the bed.

"Dearest Girl of my Heart,

I went out to get us some real food. See you soon my love,

Your Richard."

She smiled and brushed her hand over the "Your Richard." It had been so long ago, that the idea that Richard could love Pennilyn Lott more than her entered into her heart. That Yale game, the day that was supposed to be fun and turned out to be a disaster. To hear her girl..._her girl_ call that woman her "almost mommy," to learn that Richard was having lunch with that woman, it wasn't the lunches that had hurt so much but that he had lied to her, he had never told her. Down in that dusty basement, finding the letter that her mother-in-law had written, the woman she had tried so hard to impress, who had never wanted her.

_"He chose you," _Lorelai had told her, and Richard had decided that the ledge was too small and had kissed her hands and whispered he loved her in her ear. And it was the last time she was to hear it for a long time.

"_I love you,_" _Richard whispered, kissing her again, She sighed and tears burned in her eyes. He reached up and brushed a tear away. _

_"Oh Richard," she breathed, "It's been so long." _

_"You mean everything to me," he said kissing her cheek, her forehead, her lips again. "You are my life. How could you doubt that?" _

_"Oh Richard, with Jason and the business...your mother...the lawsuit...how could I know it?" she looked at him and saw the pain in his eyes. _

_He turned away from her, sighing heavily, his shoulders sagging. She walked towards him and wrapped her arms around him. _

_"I didn't know what else to do Emily," he said. "With the lawsuit, I didn't know what else to do. Floyd would have destroyed us. Jason was young, I knew he would recover." _

_"Richard why didn't you tell me...I could have helped. Why didn't you tell me how bad it was?" _

_"I didn't want to scare you," _

_"Oh Richard...loosing Lorelai scared me, loosing you scared me." _

_She turned him to her and cupped his face in her hands, "Richard, I am your wife, I love you," _

_He turned his face into her hand and kissed it, "What did my mother have to do with it?" _

_She looked at him and hesitated, she hadn't told him, she hadn't wanted to tell him. _

_"Emmy," he prodded. _

_"I found the carbon copy of the letter your mother sent to you the night before our wedding, trying to convince you to leave me for Pennilyn." _

_His face darkened slightly and he shook his head, "And that combined with the lunches made you think..." _

_She nodded. _

_He put his arms around her, "Emmy, do you know what happened to the letter? The one she actually sent?" _

_She placed her head against his chest. "It went in the garbage, that day. It meant nothing to me." He reached down and put a finger under her chin and lifted up her chin to meet him. "If my mother had written me a thousand notes like that, if she had hired a thousand men to hold me back from the altar, if she would have told me she would have disowned me, never spoke to me again...I still would have married you...I still would have chosen you." _

_"Oh Richard," she sighed._

_"Pennilyn means nothing to me. There would never be anyone in the world for me but you," he said as he placed a hand on her cheek. _

_"Richard, I love you, I love you more than anything," she said, and he kissed her deeply...passionately...with the kind of passion that is born not just out of physical attraction but oneness on every level._

Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. "Pleasant thoughts my love?" Richard asked as he came in bearing two white paper bags from Freddlie's.

"Very pleasant," she said and then smiled at him playfully. He grinned and pulled out a white styrofoam food container. "Blueberry pancakes and sausage?"

"Bless you Sir," she said taking the container.

He sat down next to her, and opened his container of scrambled eggs and a croissant roll when he realized she was staring at him.

He turned and looked at her. She reached up and placed a hand on his cheek. "Have I told you lately how happy I am to belong to you?" she asked.

He smiled and then leaned forward and kissed her. The moment was interrupted by approaching footsteps and a sudden cry, "Offspring alert! Offspring alert!"

They broke the kiss with a nervous giggle and turned towards their daughter.

"Well, you two are having a good morning," Lorelai said coming into the room.

"Which you so convienantly interrupted," Richard said with mock exasperation.

"Well...I don't want to see you kissing!" Lorelai exclaimed. "That's...gross!"

"Gross?" Richard and Emily said together.

"Well...I just don't want to think about you two you know...doing...you know" Lorelai said.

"Even though your existence is proof that we...you know...do?" Emily asked.

"Okay, changing the subject now...Mom how are you feeling?" Lorelai asked.

"Fine," Emily answered smiling. "My leg still hurts, but it's getting better."

"That's good," Lorelai said and sat down in a chair. "Mom...the wayward granddaughter's in the waiting room."

Emily sat up in a hurry, "She's here? Rory's here?"

"Yeah,"

"Why doesn't she come in?" Richard asked.

"She just wants to talk to you Mom. She's having a hard time." Lorelai said.

"What is it? What's wrong?"Emily asked.

"She's just tired Mom, she's tired and she's freaked out. Loosing you the first time was so hard on her Mom. Seeing you in the airport, going through all of that, almost loosing you again. She just couldn't handle it." Lorelai replied.

Emily looked towards Richard.

"Lorelai let's you and I go get some coffee," Richard said, standing up.

"I'll send her in Mom," Lorelai said as they walked out.

Emily sat up and took a few deep breaths. She turned at the sound of the soft knock on the side of the door.

"Hello Grandma," she said looking down on the floor.

"Hello Sweetie," Emily replied. "Come in, please."

Rory stepped inside. "How are you feeling?" she asked.

"Fine, I'm doing much better," Emily said.

"That's good,"

"How's school?"

"Oh...busy, crazy,"

"How's Logan?"

"He's good,"

"That's good,"

"Yeah,"

There was a few moments of silence after that and then Emily took a deep breath. "Rory, please...talk to me, tell me what's troubling you."

"I just...I'm sorry Grandma, I'm sorry for everything that happened before. I hurt you so much."

"Hey, I thought that we had cleared all this up," Emily said gently.

Rory shrugged her shoulders..."I didn't know if with everything going in and out of your brain if it really stuck."

Emily leaned forward and patted a spot on the bed. "Come here Sweetie,"

Rory sat down next to her.

"It stuck," Emily said, "Everything is okay with you and me. We both made mistakes. I've moved past it. Have you?"

Rory sighed and looked up at her "Do you remember when I graduated from high school...the valedictorian speech?"

"One of the proudest moments of my life," Emily replied smiling.

"I said you were one of my twin pillars. That I couldn't stand without you and grandpa. I meant that...I really did."

"I know you did,"

"And then I don't know what happened. We grew apart. I left you...I put you through that again...I went back to mom and I went back to Yale and ...I thought I didn't need you anymore but it wasn't true. And when you died...when you were gone the first time," Rory's face crumpled. "I got you back and then I lost you again I just..."

"Sweetie it's alright...I'm here," Emily said, her voice choking up.

Rory continued on, "I wanted so bad to be close to you when I was growing up and I felt so alone when I thought you had died, that you had died thinking that I hated you..."

Emily reached forward and caught her granddaughter's face in her hands.

"Sweetie," Emily said, tears burning in her eyes. "I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."

She gathered the girl in her arms, kissing the top of her head, murmuring "My Sweetie," over and over again.

Rory cried for a few minutes, and then looked up at her grandmother. "Rory," Emily said firmly. "We're past this now. We're okay"

Emily reached up and brushed a tear from her granddaughter's cheek. "We can't loose eachother again. I need you Rory. I couldn't live without you."

Rory smiled, "I need you too Grandma. I always have."

Suddenly they heard a muffled, "Oh!" and then an "Ow..Dad...that hurt!"

"Oh for Heaven's sake you two, come in" Emily said laughing as she brushed tears out of her eyes.

Richard and Lorelai sheepishly came around the corner.

"That was such a beautiful 7th Heaven moment you had there," Lorelai sighed coming around the corner, trying to make a joke to cover the watery eyes she had herself. "When did we become the Sap family?"

"Oh be quiet," Emily said patting Rory's hand. "Can you two stay for awhile?" Emily asked.

"I wish I could, but I have a test tody in Biology," Rory said.

"The Dragonfly awaits," Lorelai said after that.

Emily turned towards Richard, "I suppose you have to go too?"

Richard glanced at his watch, "Only for a few hours my love," Richard said, "I need to clear up a few things at work."

Emily sighed, "Alright,"

"I'll be back this afternoon," Richard said reaching down and kissing her goodbye.

"Ew! Offspring present and offspring of offsrpring present," Lorelai cried, covering her eyes with one hand and Rory's eyes with the other.

Richard and Emily smiled and shook their heads. "Come on," Richard said, "I'll walk you out."

"Bye Grandma," Rory said leaning over and kissing her grandmother's cheek.

"Bye Sweetie."

"Bye Mom," Lorelai said, "I'll be back tonight sometime too."

"Lorelai...wait a minute," Emily said as she was heading out the door.

"Yeah?" Lorelai said as she turned back around. "What is it Mom?" she asked when Emily just looked at her.

"You said something the other day...about how you thought we didn't want anymore children because of you...Lorelai...I have to know...did you really feel unwanted?" Emily asked her voice heavy with sadness.

Lorelai stared at the floor for a long time, "No...no I never felt unwanted Mom...it was more like unaccepted...unacceptable,"

"How could you feel like that? I don't understand how my bright beautiful girl could ever feel unacceptable?"

"I was different Mom. I didn't like to be told what to do. I didn't want the cotillions and the private schools and having everything I wanted at the drop of a hat. I just felt like you couldn't understand me, that you wouldn't understand me because I was different from you," she said sitting down on the bed.

Emily stared at her with a confused look in her eyes. "You want to know something?" Emily said quietly after a minute. "That's exactly how I've felt all these years."

Lorelai sighed. "I never saw that Mom. I'm sorry."

"Lorelai," Emily said looking up and suddenly her eyes took an intensity, "I went back for you. I went back into the river for you, going down into the water. I knew I was loosing conciousness, I knew I was going to drown and I told whatever God who was listening to take me instead of you."

Lorelai looked at her in horror..."Mom...I'm sorry...if I hadn't called you that night, if I hadn't been pressuring you to drive. If I had gone back in to search for you..."

"No!" Emily said firmly, "Lorelai...why do you think I just told you that?" She reached up and smoothed a piece of hair out of her daughter's forehead. "Don't you get it my crazy, beautiful, brilliant girl..." she stopped and her lower lip quivered as she tried to hang on to her emotions. She brushed a hand across her daughter's cheek, "I love you, I have always loved you, and I will always love you."

Lorelai sighed and it seemed as though those words washed through her like Mr. Clean, eradicating any of the old shadows and spiderwebs of the past that were still there. At that moment, she felt completely and utterly free. Maybe it wasn't because she had heard the words her mother had said so little in her lifetime. Maybe, it was because she was opening her heart and seeing that her mother had loved her all along and had shown it all along in her own Emily way.

"I better go," Lorelai smiled and stood up. She reached down and kissed her mother's cheek.

"I never stopped loving you either Mommy," she whispered.

TBC


	42. Two Different People

Disclaimer: This is an original story based upon the characters of Gilmore Girls. No profit will be made from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Note: I am so so so sorry it has taken me so long to update again. My life took an insane turn and didn't slow down for months. Finally with Christmas, I have some time. I hope you enjoy this too long in coming installment.

"Here we are," Richard said gently as he placed a hand on her back and let her into the bedroom.

"Thank you Richard," she said placing her cane against the bed post and sat down on the bed, trying to not breathe hard. She didn't want Richard to know it was as hard as it was for her to climb up the stairs. She looked around--it was so strange. The last time she had been in this room it had been still so unfamiliar to her. Now...it was home. It was here that she had come as a brand new bride. It was the love that was shared in this room that had created their child and in this bed that she and Richard had placed that baby in between them in speechless happiness cooing and fingering her perfect little fingers and toes and her soft dark hair.. She could close her eyes and picture herself in the rocking chair that had been long ago stowed away in the attic, rocking her tiny dark haired angel back and forth.

Richard sat down next to her on the bed, bringing her out of her thoughts. He put his arm around her and she put her head against his shoulder.

"What is it?"he asked gently.

"I'm home," she replied.

He reached down and kissed her on the top of her head. They sat quietly for a few minutes, just resting comfortably in eachother's embrace.

For the next few days Richard stayed home with her, and though she revelled in the attention, after the third day she told him he needed to go back to work. The first morning he went back to work they both felt like newlyweds leaving eachother for the first time. He kissed her goodbye on the stairs and reminded her off his cellphone number, his work number, Lorelai's cell number, Lorelai's work number, Lorelai's home phone number, the diner phone number, Rory's cell number, and the surrounding neighbor's phone numbers. She simply shook her head and put her arms around him.

"Richard...I'm not going anywhere."

He kissed her a second time on the stairs, and a third time in the hallway. She hugged him goodbye and he went to the car, he was halfway there when he turned back, closed the door and enveloped her again.

"Richard," she said breathing heavily after the last kiss, "We're acting like teenagers."

He smiled, "I like it."

She smiled back, "Me too," and reached up and met his lips again, "Make that one last," she said smiling as she turned him towards the door.

She waited at the door and waved to him as he left and then turned back to the empty house. It was so big--how had it never looked this big before? And it was so...very...quiet. Then she remembered...she liked quiet.

_"Lorelai, do you have to slam the door?" _

_"Lorelai, turn down the musc!" _

_"Lorelai, the people in Oregon don't care what you have to say, you don't have to talk loud enough for them to hear you!" _

She sighed and started up the stairs to her room. She went inside and opened her closet. There on the chair in her closet was a duffel bag that she had been packing to take with her for the weekend to Stars Hollow. She moved opened it and took out the two pair of jeans and sweaters she had packed. She held them up against her and then looked around the closet that was half the size of her bedroom in Bentley. There was an array of pant suits, dresses, all sorted to color. She chose a deep green pant suit and took out a string of pearls. When she was done dressing, she looked at herself in the mirror. The image looking back at her was so unfamiliar...and the clothes still itched. She walked out of her room into the hall, it was so quiet! Had it always been this quiet? She needed something to do, she started downstairs to return phone calls when her eyes caught her mother's picture.

_"Emily," her mother said weakly, holding out her limp hand. _

_"I'm here Mother," she said taking the white hand in hers, She felt her emotions rise to the surface, but she swallowed them down. She must be the Emily her mother thought she was until thevery end. _

_"Dennis...Hopie...where is my baby Hopie?" her mother asked weakly. _

_That just about did her in, but she swallowed hard again and reaching forward placed her hand on her mother's forehead, smoothing the hair out of her eyes. The act seemed so foriegn to her, she and her mother had barely touched since she was a little girl, "Mother, Dennis is on his way and Hopie is flying home from Paris, Mother...I don't think she'll..." but she stopped when she saw the look on her mother's face. "I'm sure she'll be here soon." _

_A slight smile passed over her mother's features and then she turned to Emily and with a shaking hand reached up and brushed it over her daughter's cheek. "My beautiful girl, My beautiful strong Emily,"_

_Emily bit her lower lip as a few tears spilled over her cheeks._

_"I...I...Emily...I..." her mother stammered, wincing in pain as she spoke. _

_Emily leaned forward, "I know Mama, I've always known," she said. _

_The older woman smiled and sighed as if the weight of the world was suddenly lifted, she looked up at her daughter with shining eyes and then finally fell asleep. Emily stood up and kissed the top of her mother's head. "I love you too," she whispered and then taking the pale hand in hers again, she sat down in the chair and waited. She didn't call the doctor, that was the way her mother wanted it. She didn't call Richard either, just sat quietly until the gentle beeping of the machine turned into one long sound, and the rising and falling of her mother's chest calmly and quietly stopped. It was then that she stood up straight and tall, and went out to get the doctor. Richard was waiting for her at the end of the hall. She said nothing, just held on to his hand as if she couldn't bear to let it go. They drove home in silence and as the maid answered the door Mrs. Gilmore walked past the maid asking in a hoarse whisper, "Where is my baby?" _

_"Upstairs asleep Mam," the maid said. _

_Emily walked up the stairs, still standing straight and tall, walked into the nursery and picked up the sleeping child in the bassinet. She sat down on the rocking chair holding the child closely to her. "I love you Lorelai," she whispered "I love you." The little baby had woken up and stared up at her with her blue eyes...such blue eyes. The mother leaned down closer and the baby reached out, touching her face and cooing gently. Emily picked up the baby and held her close, and it was only then in the quiet darkness of the room, holding her child, that she broke down sobbing. _

She walked towards the picture, placing her hand along side of her mother's cheek. She was never the same after her father died. Her Aunt Rosemary had always said that her father was the one with medical problems, her mother's heart had broken after he had died and had finally gave out on her. She had never understood that until Richard had been hospitalized on that terrible Christmas years ago. It was then that she understood that her heart was intricately connected with the man she loved. It was that first night, after the danger was over, after Lorelai had gone home, as she sat up with him holding his hand, that she understood why her mother's heart had finally given out on her. It frightened her that night, to realize how desperately she loved the man in the bed, and how dependant she had grown on him.

There was a mirror on the wall near her mother's picture and she paused looking in the mirror. She remembered again back to that night her mother died when she had slept in that rocking chair holding her baby. No one dared to try to take the baby from and no one would have succeeded if they had tried. She had promised herself that night that she would be different, she would be in her daughter's life, she would be in her life no matter what. But of course she had gone about it the wrong way. She forced her way in and instead of endearing her daughter to her like she desperately hoped, she had pushed her further and further away. Sudddenly a sadness settled over her, a sadness that was like the old days, she missed the relationship she could have had and didn't. She tried to be logical, tried to tell herself that things were different now, that she and Lorelai had both changed but as she looked in the mirror and smoothed her hands over her face she wondered how long it would really last. Mother and daughter had been at odds for almost forty years, could it really change now? Suddenly she sighed as she realized it went deeper than Lorelai. It was Lorelai, and Richard, and Rory, and Luke. Would their relationships change now? Things were so much better between all of her family members, would that go away now? She wasn't Laura Baker...did Laura Baker even exist? Who was the real her? She looked at the picture of her mother again, she had wanted to be so different. Suddenly tears were burning in her eyes and she found herself going back into her room and laying back on her bed.

The next thing she knew Richard was gently shaking her. She woke up and turned towards him.

"Are you alright?" he asked gently, concern etched on his features.

"What time is it?" she asked.

"Two," Richard answered, reaching up and smoothing her hair out of her forehead.

"Oh my goodness," she said, sitting up.

"Hey, it's okay," Richard said gently, "You're just getting home from the hospital."

She sighed and fell back against the pillow. "You're right Richard, I'm just tired," she said not wanting to elaborate, not wanting to worry him, but the sadness she felt early pressed on her like a weight. It made her feel heavy.

It seemed that Richard bought her excuse as he bent down and tenderly kissed her forehead, "Can I get you anything?" he asked.

She didn't answer him, just reached up and placed her hand against his cheek. She loved him so much.

He leaned into her hand and kissed it, "What is it Emmy?" he asked. "Are you in pain?"

She shook her head, "No, I'm just tired."

"I'll let you get some rest," he said smiling. "I'll be downstairs if you need me,"

She nodded, biting the inside of her cheek to keep from crying again. He kissed her forehead and walked downstaira. Emily sighed as the tears came again but...at least Richard just thought she was tired and wouldn't worry.

But Richard did worry when he saw his wife in bed when he returned the next day and saw the look on her face. She again averted his questions, assuring him that she was fine but tired. But that night as they lay in bed, he wrapped his arms lovingly around her and whispered gently, "Emmy, tell me what's troubling you."

"Don't worry Richard, everything is fine, I promise," Emily said, the sadness still pressing on her.

Richard put a finger under her chin and turned it towards her, "Emily," he said emphatically, "Tell me what's troubling you."

She started to protest and then the tears came again. She cursed under her breath--had she ever cried this much in her whole life? Richard brought her into his arms and held her until she finally took a deep breath, "Oh Richard," she sighed, "Which one is the real me?"

"Why does it matter?" he whispered. "You're here now, you're alive, you have all your memories, Darling, why does it matter?"

"It does matter Richard, I've been two completely different people. I should be studied!"

He chuckled, "Were they really all that different Emily?" he asked.

She looked up at him, "Are you serious?"

"Very,"

"Richard! You can't be serious! Stop patronizing me."

"Emily,"

"Richard, look at me, look me in the eye and tell me that you didn't ever wish that I woud have stayed like Laura. That there wasn't some part of you that didn't want the old me back."

He looked at her, his heart hurting because he knew the thoughts he had felt, Yes, there had been times when he hadn't wanted his wife to get her memory back. And they haunted him...but he had never, never not wanted his Emmy, his own darling, beautiful Emmy back.

"Emily...that's just not true," he said.

"And then what about when I did come home Richard? What about all that stuff about how I had always been Emily Gilmore, and that you never meant to keep your promise about me going back to Bentley. When I was Laura and wanted to be Laura, you couldn't accept me then either! I had to be Emily. Which one do you want Richard? Which one do you want me to be? Which one is the woman you love?"

"Emily," he said reaching out and cupping her face in his hands, "They are both you. I love you,"

"And what about Lorelai Richard? What about Rory? Which do they want? What kind of mother was I as Emily compared to what I was as Laura?"

Her voice broke and he leaned in to kiss her forehead. "Emily, it's going to be okay. I promise, it's going to be okay."

She looked at him and he reached up and wiped away a tear. "What am I going to do?" she asked.

His only answer was to hold her tighter.

The next thing she was vaguely aware of were two voices coming from the downstairs hall. She slowly got out of bed and stopped at the top of the stairs. The two voices were Lorelai and Richard.

"I don't understand it Dad, she was fine at the hospital, what brought this on?"

"I don't know Lorelai, she won't tell me, I barely got that much out of her last night."

"Do you want me to talk to her?"

"No, no Sweetheart I have an idea that I think will work."

"Okay, will you call me later?"

"Yes, I promise,"

She heard Lorelai leave and she hurried back and climbed into bed. The sadness still hung over her, and she wondered what Richard's idea was to bring her out of it.

It seemed like just a minute had passed before Richard was gently kissing her awake. She blinked her eyes as she looked up at him and smiled, "Hi," she said.

"Hi," he replied.

"What time is it?" she asked as she tried to sit up and then fell back as her head was spinning.

"I brought you some soup," he said gently, lifting off the cover of a dish, "Chicken noodle, not as good as yours but Campbell does do it's best."

She smiled at the compliment, and took the bowl from him and started eating. She noticed how relieved he looked as she ate.

"Are you going somewhere?" she asked, when she saw a packed bag by the door.

"Yes, I'm going to Stars Hollow, I'm staying the night at the Dragonfly."

She looked up at him as a jolt of panic shot through her, "Richard...what are you saying?"

He cupped her face in his hands again and brought her forehead to his, "I'm saying I love you, you crazy woman." He reached in closer and kissed her, hoping that if his words left any doubt, his kiss would make up for it.

After they broke the kiss, Richard reached over the side of the bed and brought out a small wrapped box. "I bought you something" he said smiling, "This is part one, and part two is downstairs."

"Can I open it?" she asked.

"Not until I leave," he said, and standing up he reached down for one more kiss before he walked out the door and left.

What in the world could it be?

She opened up the box...

...inside was a package of Hostess powdered sugar donuts.


	43. Josie Settles the Question

Disclaimer: This is an original story based upon the characters of Gilmore Girls. No profit will be made from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Note: Thank you for all of your feedback on the last chapter. I really appreciated it. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Sorry again for being so long in updating. Hope you like this next one.

Emily listened as the door closed and stared at the package of powdered sugar donuts in her hand. What in the world? She curled her fingers around the package--he had said part two was downstairs. She got out of bed, feeling a little dizzy and made her way out the door. She was coming down the stairs when she stopped and suddenly she felt like laughing and crying at the same time.

"Okay, um first of all I have to tell you that I am loving this living room decor, second you so owe me coffee for all the trouble I've gone through to get here, and third, get your butt down here so I can hug the stuffing out of you and then tell you what a complete idiot you are being," said a familiar voice.

Emily hurried down the stairs, "Oh Jo," she said as Josie got up to meet her and give her a big hug.

The two friends hugged for a moment and then Josie said, "So, it happened, you got it back, you got it all back. I don't particularly like the way you chose to do it, but I'll forgive you."

Emily burst into giggles, "That's good to know."

Emily put her arm around her old friend and led her into the living room. "It's so good to see you," she said as she motioned for her to sit down.

"It's good to see you too," Josie said, "Now you want to tell me what's going on?" she said sitting down on the love seat.

"I'm just tired," Emily said.

"Lie," Josie followed up without missing beat, "Hon, your husband doesn't call me up and put me on the next first class flight out of town because you're tired,"

"I can't explain it."

"Try."

"I don't know who I am anymore Jo."

Josie leaned forward, "Why?"

"Emily Gilmore, Laura Baker, which one is the real me? Was Laura Baker the fabrication of some lonely old man, just a shadow of the daughter he lost? Or is Emily Gilmore the fake one, the shadow, someone who is defined by society? Who am I really? Laura or Emily?"

Josie stood up and moved over to where her friend was sitting.

"Sweetie," she said as she put her arm around her friend, "What does it matter? Why does it have to be one or the other?"

"Because they both are so different,"

"Okay, first of all, you have to stop referring to yourself in the third person, second of all, wouldn't you say I was the one that knew you best when you lived in Bentley?"

"Yes,"

"Do you know what I saw when you came down the stairs? I saw my friend, someone I love going for coffee and powdered sugar donuts with, someone I could stay up all night laughing with, someone who has always been there for me. I saw you, I saw my best friend. Hon, you're not Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde, whatever name you go by, you are you. You have friends, you have a great kid, and I'm sure an equally wonderful grandchild, and you have a man you love, who loves you more than life itself. Let that be enough Emily,"

She smiled at her friend, one of the very few true friends she had ever known outside of her family. She thought back to the conversation she had had with Luke and then she looked up at the family portrait that was hanging above the mantle piece. It was enough, Richard, Lorelai, Rory, it was enough.

"Let me ask you something," Josie said interrupting her thoughts, "Did being Laura change you?"

Emily's mind flooded with all the ways being Laura had changed her, the relationship with her husband, with her daughter, her grandaughter, it had healed her family. After all this time, her family had finally been healed. Perhaps God really had been looking out for the Gilmores all along.

"Yes it did," she said.

"So, it was a blessing," Josie said smiling.

There was a moment of silence between them and the Josie patted her friends hand, "So, I hear we have this unbelievable massive house all to ourselves tonight, I have to go back tomorrow, but what do you want to do tonight?"

Emily swallowed hard and then looked at her friend, "Jo, there's something I need to do, Will you come with me?"

"Of course."

They drove for awhile in silence. Josie sensed that her friend was nervous, afraid almost and now said nothing, just squeezed her friend's shoulder every once in awhile to let her know she was still there. They drove for about a half hour before Emily stopped as she came to a bridge--it's rails having been long ago repaired from the damage that had occured when a car had smacked into it. She stopped on the other side of the bridge, the wheels whining in the gravel and she stepped out of the car walking towards the river. Josie, suddenly realizing where they were stepped out and followed her. Emily stopped as she came to the river bank, which in the chilly late October evening was almost frozen over. It was a peaceful scene, with a few trees that hadn't lost all of their gold and red leaves yet, and three ducks who had missed the flying south rush sailing over head. Emily took a deep breath, steadying herself against the wave of panic sweeping over her. Josie came up behind her and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Do you know my mother never told me she loved me?" Emily said quietly, "Never once. She tried the night she died, but she just couldn't do it. "

She stopped talking as she looked back at the river, and placed her arms across her chest. Josie squeezed her shoulder and sensing there was more gently said, "Go on."

"I told her that night I knew she loved me and in my heart I guess I did but I never heard the words, never once. She was always so involved in the community, always involved in her charity work, she was always busy. And when I had a daughter I swore to myself that I was going to be in her life no matter what. And I forced myself in. She had nannies, but I always forced her to tell me who her friends were, who she was with, where she was, and she hated it."

"Well, if that's a crime, you and I are both in the slammer," Josie said.

Emily shook her head, "No, it was more than that, I forced my life on her. I wanted her to be what I wanted so badly and when she didn't want it, I did the same thing to her. I stopped listening, I stopped caring. And when she left me..." she stopped and bit her lip, "It just hurt so much that I allowed myself to close my heart off to her."

"Did you ever stop loving her?" Josie asked gently.

"No, oh Heaven's no, but I couldn't tell her. I didn't realize though how desperately I loved her though until that night. When I realized she was still in the water, I didn't care about anything, I didn't care whether I lived or died." She stopped and tears were burning in her eyes as she turned to Josie. Josie put her arm around her, steadying her. "I was so scared Jo. I was so scared I was goin to lose my baby forever."

Josie had her own tears in her eyes at her friend's pain, and put her head against Emily's. "You didn't lose her, Emily. You got her back." Josie whispered.

Emily gave a little sob, and as the two friends hugged eachother on the bank, Emily finally let go off the past, for the hurt, the anger, and the distance between mother and daughter had been the only thing that had died in the watery grave that night. They stood in silence for awhile, Josie keeping her arm tightly around her friend. Emily put her arm around Josie finally and they walked together to the car.

"You're an amazing friend, you know that?" Emily said as they walked towards the car.

"Yeah, I do," Josie said smiling.

"So where are we headed now?" Josie asked as they pulled back on the freeway. "The movie store, the pizza gallery, and somewhere that has powdered sugar donuts?"

Emily laughed lightly, "One stop first," she said as she pulled off the exit to Stars Hollow. She drove down the road to the Dragonfly Inn and pulled into the parking lot. "This will just take a minute. Do you want to come inside?"

"Oh, I think you need to be alone for this, Maybe I'll just go over and look at the stables."

Emily smiled and hurried out of the car. As she got closer to the Inn, she saw through the window that Richard was sitting in the main room, working on a lap top. Just the sight of him sent shivers through her body and she started to run across the lawn. Richard looked up from where he was sitting and saw her coming towards him. He hurried towards the door as she reached him and he caught her up in his arms hugging her tightly to him. They broke the hug and he reached down and caressed her cheek.

"You're right, it doesn't matter," she breathed heavily.

"No it doesn't," he replied.

"It was silly,"

"Yeah, it was,"

"I know who I am Richard. I'm the woman who loves you."

He brought her to him, kissing her deeply, passionately as she wrapped her arms around him. They were oblivious to all else until they had to catch their breath. As they stopped they turned and saw their daughter sitting on the stairs, her chin in her hands smiling at them.

"What, you're not grossed out?" Richard asked chuckling.

Lorelai smiled and walked over to them, "No," she said and then brushed her hands over the frame of the door, smiling with pleasant memories.

TBC


	44. Christmas

Disclaimer: This is an original story based upon the characters of Gilmore Girls. No profit will be mde from this story and no copyright infringment is intended.

Author's Note: And so the saying goes, "All good things must come to an end." And so ends the longest thing I have ever written in my life. It certainly has been so much fun writing it. In the beginning, I had no idea it would last this long or take almost a year to write. Thank you all for your feedback, it has been so much fun to read. I appreciate it as always, and look forward to starting the next new story!

Camille Andrews was confused. When she had applied at the Gilmore "House of Terror" as her friends who had come and gone quickly through Emily the Terrible's reign, she had been terrifed, but she had heard that Emily Gilmore paid well and being paid well was what she needed. When she had finally met the Mrs. Gilmore that everyone had talked about it, she had found her to be one of the most pleasant people she had ever known. She always talked to her as an equal, helped her clean on the afternoons that Rachel had called in sick, and had even extended friendship to her, something that was unheard of in the maid world. And so she had decided to quit, not wanting to of course, but she couldn't cause trouble for her kind-hearted boss. It had been over three months now that she had been working at her new job, and though they paid her well, she was treated as just a servant, a part of the furniture and she missed her days with Mrs. Gilmore. About a month ago she had heard through another maid that had worked for the Gilmore's that Mrs. Gilmore had had a serious accident, and as a result had got her memory back.

"You'll see," her friend had told her. "It'll be back to the same old thing. The maids will come and go, Emily the terrible will reign again." Camille had told her that she was wrong. Mrs. Gilmore wasn't like that. Mrs. Gilmore had changed.

Which was why, she was so confused when she opened the door the afternoon of Christmas Eve as she was wrapping a few Christmas presents to put under the tree for her husband, and saw none other than Emily Gilmore standing there, her eyes narrowed, her mouth in one straight thin line and her hands on her hips.

"Mrs. Gilmore," Camille said in suprise.

"Let's not waste time with pleasantries, shall we Mrs. Andrews, I have come on some very important business," she said briskly and walked right into the apartment.

"What business?" Camille asked in confusion as she followed her house guest back in to her apartment.

"Let's get one thing straight, you don't just tell your employer that you have quit your job and not let them know where you can be located. You left so quickly I didn't have time to give you your severance pay."

"My what?"

"Don't interrupt me my girl, yes your severance pay," she brought out an envelope in her purse and handed it to her. Camille took the envelope and stared at her former employer as Emily's face softened and brightened into a smile.

"Did you find a job alright?" she asked, her tone softer.

"Yes," Camille said smiling back and suddenly her eyes were filled with tears.

Emily reached out a hand and placed it on her shoulder. "I'm sorry about before. You did wonderful work for me. If you ever need a job, you know where to find me."

The girl nodded, and Emily smiled as she made her way to the door. "Merry Christmas Camille," she said.

"Merry Christmas Mrs. Gilmore...and thank you," Camille replied.

Emily turned back towards her, "It's Emily, and you're welcome."

Camille watched her walk down the stairs through the window and then she opened the envelope. Inside were four crisp one hundred dollar bills.

"Mission accomplished?" Richard asked as she stepped into the car.

"Yes Sir," Emily nodded. "She looks well."

"You know something Mrs. Gilmore?" Richard said as he started the car.

"What's that Mr. Gilmore?"

"I think you're pretty amazing," he said and as she turned to him and smiled, he reached over and ran his fingers through her hair, "And I think you're amazingly pretty too," he whispered. She leaned over and gave him a quick kiss.

"Come on, we're going to be late," she said and they drove away.

An hour later, with their arms filled with groceries and Christmas presents, the turned the lights on in the Stars Hollow home. A snow storm had come the night before and the whole property was covered in sugary white. Emily was delighted.

"Maestro, your kitchen awaits," Richard said placing the bags of groceries down in the kitchen.

"Thank you Darling," Emily said as she followed him in, "Go change your clothes and shovel the walk way will you?"

Richard changed his clothes and then stood at the doorway of the kitchen frame, and watched his wife roll her hair back and place a pen in it, and tie on an apron. Quietly, he tiptoed over to the stereo and pressed play on the Christmas music CD.

_I'll be home for Christmas, you can plan on me. _

Bing Crosby's voice filled the air. Emily looked up from her Betty Crocker cookbook and saw him standing there. She grinned as he approached her, and taking off her shoes, she took his hand and placed her head on his chest as he took her in his arms and began to dance to the music.

"Was it just last Christmas I wanted to die because I didn't have you anymore?" Richard whispered, holding her tightly to him.

"I love you Richard," she whispered back.

"I love you too Emmy."

The song ended and they kissed gently, and then Richard went out to shovel the walkway and Emily got to work. By the time Lorelai and Luke arrived at five-thirty, there was a brown sugar glazed ham cooling, the breadbasket was filled with golden Parker House rolls, the whole house smelled of cinnamon and apple emanating from the apple pie that was in the oven.

"Merry Christmas Dad!" Lorelai said as she walked in, Luke staggering behind her with a mountain of presents.

Richard looked up from where he was untangling Christmas lights on the couch. "Merry Christmas Lorelai, Luke," Richard stood up, shaking Luke's hand and giving his daughter a peck on the cheek.

"Merry Christmas!" Emily exclaimed excitedly as she walked out of the kitchen drying her hands on her apron. Lorelai gave her mother a hug and Luke kissed her cheek.

"Okay you two, Lorelai, you're coming in and helping me in the kitchen, Luke, you and Richard go out and find us a tree. Luke, isn't there a tree lot in town?"

"Yeah, Kirk owns it."

Emily rolled her eyes, "Of course."

"We'll do our best," Luke said putting back on his coat.

"So...let me get this straight," Richard said standing up. "We are going to get a live tree."

"Yeah, that's the plan, get with it Hon," his wife teased.

"Live--as in real pine needles falling all over creation, making an eternal mess, as in live tree the kind we have never had in over forty years of marriage."

"Hurry back!" his wife replied smiling as she turned and put her arm around her daughter and led her into the kitchen.

"Mom, this smells amazing," Lorelai exclaimed as she stuck a finger in the freshly whipped cream for the pie.

"Thank you Sweetheart," she said handing her daughter an apron and gently slapping her hand for the stolen taste of the whipped cream. "Mash these potatoes for me, will you?" she said handing her a bowl of steaming golden potatoes and a silver masher. She turned and took the pie out of the oven, putting on a rack, and exchanged it for two round cake pans filled with dark batter.

"That boy is going to marry Rory just for the sake of your chocolate cake Mom."

"Well, they have been dating for over three years, a little encouragement never hurts," Emily said, turning around and winking at her.

They worked in silence for awhile but it was a nice, comfortable silence and it felt good. Neither felt pressured to say anything, neither needed to say anything, it seemed as though in finally healing their relationship that it was stronger than it had ever been.

"Are these alright?" Lorelai asked, bringing the bowl of potatoes around to show her.

Emily turned to look at her.

" _Mommy, did I do it right?" _

_"Mommy, look at the picture that I drew!" _

_"Mommy, did you see me in the play?" _

_"Mommy...look at me." _

"Perfection," Emily said smiling. "Would you chop that celery for me?"

Lorelai smiled and taking out a knife, began to slice the celery. She had cut up a few stalks when she turned back to see her mother looking at her with shining eyes.

"What?" she asked.

"Nothing," Emily replied, "I just love you."

Lorelai swallowed the tears that suddenly surfaced and smiled as she went back to cutting the celery.

The relish plate of pickes, deviled eggs, celery with pasturized cheese and black olives was complete when there was a loud knock at the door and the two women opened it to see their two husbands carrying in a large sweet smelling Christmas tree. The whole house immediately smelled of pine as they brought it into the living room and set it down.

"It's perfect!" Emily cried, clapping her hands like a little girl.

"I feel so invigorated!" Richard exclaimed. setting down the tree with a triumphant flare. "Darling did you know that you can actually chop down your very own tree at a place called Rudolph's Tree Farm. The place in town was really quite disparaging so Luke suggested this delightful little farm outside of town, and I chopped down the tree myself. I feel like a woodsmen!" Richard exclaimed delightedly, causing the two women to smile at eachother in amusement.

"Okay well, Paul Bunyan and I are going to put the tree in the stand while you two go back in the kitchen and you know...do the woman thing," Luke said bringing in the tree stand.

"We get to do that too?" Richard asked happily.

Luke looked at Emily in confusion, "They've always been delivered, tree already in the stand," she replied shrugging.

"Sounds great," Luke grumbled as he put the tree stand down in the corner of the room.

Rory and Logan arrived at 7:00, and a raspberry pie, a bowl of sweet potatoes and silky chocolate cake with ganache joined the array at the table. The family had drinks in the front room and then dinner. Emily's dinner was praised highly, and Logan had three thick slices of chocolate cake for dessert. After dinner they decorated the tree together. Emily had brought boxes of ornaments from the Hartford house, there were the Parisian glass slippers that Hope had given her for Christmas the first year she was away from home, the set of silver bells that made a magical tinkling sound that Richard had given her for her first Christmas. Lorelai took out the tiny real satin ballet slippers she had recieved for her fifth Christmas, the year she had wanted to be a ballerina, and Rory took out the intricately designed tiny christening dress they had had special made for Lorelai's first Christmas. Dozens of ornaments, from the crystal Eiffel Tower bought in Europe on the second honeymoon, to old fashioned Santa Claus ornament that had come over from Germany on the boat with Great Great Grandmother Gilmore. Lorelai had brought a box of ornaments as well and Emily cried out in delight as the box was opened, they were not fancy ones like hers but they were a part of her girls past and she loved them already. There were a set of red Christmas balls that Lorelai had bought her first year away from home, and a star fashioned out of an old coat hanger and some aluminum foil. There were a pair of red ruby slippers that Mia had given her one Christmas, and while Emily felt the sting when Lorelai told her where they had come from, she quickly swallowed it back down. Emily especially loved the ones that Rory had made, Lorelai had inscribed them all with the year and how old Rory was when she made them. Emily turned them over with delight, a stuffed dog made out of felt from Kindergarten, a popsicle frame with red and green glitter and her school picture in it from first grade. She loved it all.

After dinner they played gin for awhile, until Emily had acquired Richard's new pen light, a free lunch at the Dragonfly Inn, forty dollars, and two tickets to the Nutcracker.

"Unbelievable," Richard said as he put down his cards after the fifteenth game.

They all turned in about midnight, the guest bedrooms all turned down and ready, but even after Richard had dozed off to sleep, Emily found herself still awake. She carefully removed Richard's arm from around her and crept out to the living room. She plugged in the Christmas tree lights and it magically lit up the room. And then, looking around to make sure noone was watching her, she laid on her back and shimmied under the Christmas tree, just like she had that other lifetime ago in Bentley, when she had laid under the tree and dreamed about her family. Back before Richard had come, before she had fallen in love all over again, before she had a great kid--when her family had been Josie...and John. She looked up at the clock. It was only 9:30 in California. She could call him...but she dismissed the thought quickly--John had done her wrong, he had kept her away from her family. But then she thought about where she was, that there was a man she loved sleeping in the bed down the hall and how their love had been rekindled. She thought of her daughter, who used to wriggle off her lap when she was only 6 months old--as if she was trying to get away from her even then. That daughter was here, in the house, and they were going to spend Christmas together. Her beloved grandaughter, the reason why she had remembered how to smile was here, in her house. Her family had been healed. She had changed. Emily Gilmore, hard skinflint proud Emily Gilmore had changed. If John hadn't done what he did...would they be here now?

She stood up, walking over to the phone and picking it up. She hesitated for a moment, but as soon as she dialed and heard the phone ringing, she knew she couldn't turn back.

"Hello?" the familiar voice sounded on the other line.

"John, it's me," she said.

There was a long pause, "Laura?"

She felt no need to correct him, to him she would always be Laura.

"Merry Christmas John," she said.

"Merry Christmas to you too Honey," he replied. "Josie told me you got your memory back. I'm so happy for you."

"Thank you John."

She took in a sharp breath, "John?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you for saving my life."

There was a long pause, and she could tell John was struggling to get a hold of his emotions, "You're welcome Sweetie," he said in a husky voice.

"Keep in touch okay?" she said.

"Okay I will," he replied.

She felt so much better after she talked to him and as she climbed into bed and felt Richard's strong arms closing around her she sighed with speechless happiness. The next thing she knew Lorelai was pouncing on the bed, "It's Christmas!" she shouted causing the two parents to vault out of their sleep. The three couples met up in the living room and had a great morning opening presents. Logan had given Rory a week vacation in Paris, Luke had given Lorelai a cabinet he had carved out of wood with intricate designs and LD+LD carved into the center. Richard had given Emily a grand piano music box, with a tiny gold plate saying, "For my Emmy," above the keys just like her piano in Hartford, the one he had bought her when she was first married. When she opened it up, she cried out in suprise because it played Richard's song. Richard had recorded it when he had heard her play it, and had taken it to a music box store where they had fashioned a music box out of it. Richard smiled at her as she looked at him with shining eyes as the music played.

As soon as the music stopped, Lorelai cried out, "Me next, my gift next!" and hurried out the door. Richard and Emily looked at eachother, smiling and shaking their heads.

"Okay, this is for all of you," Lorelai called out and to everyone's suprise, when she stepped out she was not holding anything, but had a large red ribbon around her middle.

"Merry Christmas!" she called out and for a minute noone understood what was happening, and then as they looked at Lorelai and then back at Luke who grinned sheepishly, they all caught on. Rory started screaming and nearly knocked her mother over, and then as soon as Rory seperated herself, Lorelai stepped up to her parents.

"Merry Christmas Mom and Dad," she said, and then covered her mouth in excitement. Richard and Emily simultaneously hugged their daughter to them and the little family stood embracing eachother for a long moment. When they finally seperated Emily cupped her hands around her daughter's face, "My baby's having another baby" she whispered and Lorelai put her hand on top of her mom's.

After the presents were opened, Emily went into the kitchen to fix some breakfast. She was cracking eggs to make some scrambled eggs when Richard came up from behind her and put his arms around her. She leaned against him smiling and put her hands on his.

"Quite a Christmas present isn't Grandma?" he said.

"Yes it is, Grandpa. I guess I need to get another locket engraved."

"You know Emily, it could be a girl this time," Richard said.

"In this family?" Emily retorted, "never."

"Well, the odds are that it would be a boy this time, I mean you have two girls in your family, we have a daughter, and a granddaughter, but I have three boys in my family so maybe the genes would come from my..."

She stopped him as she turned around and a finger over his lips.

"Just shut up and kissed me Stupid," she said.

And he wholeheartedly obeyed.


End file.
